A well-dressed necromancer has been offering to buy the corpses of the still living for a single gold coin...

>Seems like a good deal.

not for the corpses, especially if the poor and hungry don't wait around for people to die the natural way

I think the idea is that the necromancer offers money to living people to get their corpse after they are dead.
In other words he preorders their corpse.

Dustmen from Planescape.

Depends how proactive he is about getting the bodies at the end

What is the day one DLC of necromancy?

Does that mean he doesn't buy corpses of the dead now? Dammit guys, turn the cart to the butcher.

legs, head, arms with organs intact.

>Local paladin pays 2 coins per body just to put this idiot out of business

Two can play at this game motherfucker.

>Would it change anything if he did?

I'm not that cheap. Call it two gold coins and I'm in.

What if you die in a way that's unrecoverable, leaves a damaged corpse behind, or doesn't even leave a body?

Like if you jump off a cliff into the ocean and are torn apart by sharp rocks and sea critters, or are immolated into ash, or get fucking torn apart by a farming combine or something?

>corpses of the still living
wut?

Then the necromancer lost his investment.

>cliff into the ocean and are torn apart by sharp rocks and sea critters
Deep one.

>immolated into ash
Ash Zombie.

>get fucking torn apart by a farming combine
Pick up that can... Now, put it in the trash can.

Sounds like an old PC of mine. She'd cut you a deal for agreeing to donate your body when you croak. Those who agree got a tattoo of five circles and could later choose not to pay taxes in a given year, instead getting a circle filled in. Lower classes tended to use them for really bad years when they couldn't afford their taxes, while merchants used the tats for good years when they wanted to keep all the profit for themselves. Bodies would end up as skeletons to do simpler jobs or add troops to the armies.

What if you got hit with a Disintegrate spell?

ash zombie sounds like someone's name

>Pick up that can... Now, put it in the trash can.
tfw you read it in his voice...

What have you done!?

What happened when all the circles were filled in? What happened if you died without all the circles filled in?

>angry peasants are immolated in self-defence
"Hahaha, I'm on fire. Your attacks hardly hurt as much as this."

Fire that makeup artist, it's the worst scar I've seen!

Honestly the idea of zombies with say, artificial or just ordinary-but-enchanted eyes that store spells is a pretty good one. Gonna throw them on as some minions/traps for my next necromancer. They can pretend to be a normal corpse until they have line of sight on the PC.

I guess I'll make the spell burn out the eye so they're one-use and then the zombie staggers around blind.

>eyes that store spells
Three words:

Delayed, Blast, Fireball.

...By the gods that be a dick move though. Maybe for a high level campaign, "Oh, meh, they're just zomb - WHY IS EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE!?"

Sure. Zombies are more low-level opponents generally so I was thinking more stun or impediment spells that slow a PC down to be grabbed by the horde.

I assume it just marked them as having sold their corpse, and they just need to pay their taxes normally after that.

Fucking Giovanni

But then you just have to use it up to 4 times and you've avoided all taxes for 4 years for nothing.

What? Like you get the tattoo that means you sold your corpse. In return you get 5 years of no tax.

What are you even talking about nigga?

What's to stop me from cutting off the skin from my back?

I assume the Necromancer keeps records etc. Maybe you are magically marked.

Also what do you care what happens to your corpse after you are dead? You are dead bruh.

What if I only use 3 years of no tax? Can I keep some of my body? I mean, I think my descendants should also be compensated if I keep my body in good condition so you get a lot of labour out of it.

I assume you give up your right to the corpse when you accept the deal. If someone gives you something, and you don't use it, its not their fault you are a mongoloid.

So I can sell it to another necromancer, duh.

It's like you don't even scam wizards.

Where is the guarantee he won't take my soul as well?

Yes, getting marked in the first place meant your corpse was sold. Records were kept. Failure to use all the tax free years actually meant the remaining years passed to your next of kin with no need for them to sign up. Or if they did then hey bonus years with no taxes. You could

first post was the best post

*You could also also specify who got them in your will.

>blackmail people to force them to give you their tax free years
>kill them
>never have to pay taxes

>Merchants buy up all the tax free years of peasants and use them to never pay tax

You're not fooling me, Dominator! You'll never escape your bonds.

I don't think you're remembering how short-sighted people are. Especially in a medieval era where lifestyles are much shorter nobody would bother to save their tax-free years.

>Almost everybody takes her up on her offer
>Year one, most people get one circle colored in and doesn't have to pay their taxes
>Kingdom's economy crumbles
>This continues for three more years
>Kingdom completely collapses because hardly anybody is paying taxes
>Goblin tribe invades and conquers kingdom because kingdom can't afford to have a standing army

That certainly is an unconventional means of thwarting the cloaked fellows at the black castle. The Lady appreciates his aid against the Dominator, but he still likely end up as one of the Taken.