Hyperdimension Dwarf Fortress Quest 78

>[A2]
>[A4]

>[B3]

>everyone's favorite nep quest is live
Nice, also guys, bring doom girl and mojang, one for defense, one to help unfuck this complete disaster, also
(X)Drink of course.

>[A1] [TIFF] Team Fortress 2's quick-and-dirty engineering skills could be helpful.
>[A3] [MOJANG] is a miner, a crafter, and perhaps most famously, a builder.

Kinda, I still think they only need one [A1: Tiffy] but if we can vote for another one, before someone accidentally sends away our only defense against a Legion of HFS....

And for Travelling:

>[B2] [THRAVAR]

If I understood correctly she can summon stuff from the Warcraft games, Hearthstone and the MMOrbination called World of "Warcraft", including their spells. Best Utility mage aside from Blanc of them. Blanc herself should hold the fort down, especially if DoomGirl somehow chokes on the HFS.

Also, preparing for having this guy as a Torch.

>the looks of Vert
>the personality of Nep
Mother of god.

Writing took longer than I thought, sorry!

AND OKAY, looks like the votes have pretty much come down to:
>Throw Tiff and Thravar at Planeptune
>Bring...?

... shit, it's a tie. Writing!

Then let me
be the Tie braker because we need Doomgirl killing the HFS. Regtrettfully I change my vote to

>[B6] [Blanc]

(Really wanted the good guy Ragnaros as a temporary party member.. For the Light, Insect.)

Tiebreaker it is!

Also, thanks to you, I envisioned Ragnaros as being used as a tiny, convenient travel-sized (blow?)torch that speaks with a squeaky chipmunk voice.

Hey blorp, do we acctually have electricity on Hyperdimension? It seems like something we could need.
>pic maybe related?

Would have been fun yes. I like switching up party members too.

Wouldn't Blanc want to stay at the fort to look out for Arfoire anyway?

Sadly, there isn't! The facilities in Hyperdimension are really basic, since Urist was focused on food production, security, and not dying from daily oceanic flooding.

She'll have to look into that later.

Normally yes, but "hey, half of Gamindustri's goddesses have fucked off into this door I built, but it wasn't my fault because Arfoire's fake Histoire mindfucked CPU Black Heart" would cause a slight shift in priorities.

When you think about it, as of now, 3 of the Goddesses are now out of Gamindustri, leaving only Vert and a currently unconscious Nepgear behind.

Shame that she is unconscious. I would definitely bring her in the quest to find her sis and the probably still crazy Noire.

I wonder...
While we are at it, maybe we could check for some games floating by?
Maybe some other builders can install A Powersystem into Hyperdimension while we are away.

I think Arfoire has not found us yet and I think it won't be until Blorplot says so. And it is not very likely that she finds us while we search for the two Megamies, because the Dimension between Dimension is very big.

Blorp, you forget that the Brits call Flashlights Torches. Because they are, minus the flame and warmth.

Let us leave that Updeate to a later time. Maybe after we have all the Upper smoothed out with Marmor, Granite something of similiar strength.

Well, I finally caught this quest live.

Hi, long time no see.

I'm going to leave this here.

Spoilered for BLASPHEMOUS HORROR

Wait, that's not spoilered at all. Oh well.

you lie, it was not spoilered! Now everyone has been TAINTED

I think I will let Urist speak for this one.

We should really put our armor back on it seems.

>[A4]
>[A6]
>[B4]

Blorp lives!

Just realized I missed the vote entirely. Damn my phone!

G3? Or just made by elves?

It doesn't matter which phone it has. They are not to be used if you want to do something halfway good only.

Have the decency to atleast use a blasted Lappy or an Tablet.
Or use a Pc or Linux computer.
Some consols are suppsoedly also good enough.

Oh, sweet, welcome back, that sure is a nifty piece of fanarNEPTUUUUUUUUNE

Consoles get old fast when it comes to da net. Phones? Sone people change them every six months.

...

We haven't even cared to put our armor back on haven't we?

How about our liquid metal gauntlets?

Hmm... I wonder....

Last thread a rather unfinished sketch of Urist's Swimsuit was posted by me (in addition to comic-reliefe Nepgear and Neptune, aswell as one angry Mojang).

Would you give me the honours of creating a refined version of just Swimsuit-Urist?

Of couse I will try my best to finish my works at some time in the future, and hopefully in enouth time for the Hotsprings Episode.
Sadly, it will never be as skillfull as your levels of Despair.

..that reminds me.

BLORP
Equipment check at Aisle Urist please.

Pretty sure I recall Urist throwing her armor back on not long after switching back with Neptune

Well, Urist's liquid metal gauntlets are back on, since she used 'em to fight, and I... THINK she threw on her armor at some point in time.

Can't check now since this next post is already kinda slow, but if it turns out I didn't actually write her regaining her armor, then... I guess I'll retcon her to hurriedly tossing it back on, but sloppily, so things could potentially Get Interesting.

Good.

But with our luck we will get a better armor that just happens to be a one piece swimsuit.

And it also protects the rest of the body cause videogame logic.

Because Nepnep infected us.

Then I request the additional detail or Option to fasten everything that holds our armor in place, please.

Urist wouldn't wear it anyway.

Give Mojang a bone, let her be the one to do the fondling.

Or I dunno, Blanc, if you need more deadpan snark at the whole issue.

If it was Doomgirl, both parties would be too preoccupied with DEMONS to care.

Well, I'M still searching for
ask.fm/BlorpQuest/answers/138463463806
aswell as
ask.fm/BlorpQuest/answers/138359604606
at least the second part of it.

Unless Nepgear asks her. Or her other armor gets totaled or... the usual stuff that happens in this quest.

>Heavy Breathing

A5
B5

I still think that Urist would simply somehow be able to find a Neoprenesque suit if she ever would have to bathe, you know, full body bodysuit.
Here, it would probably be still able to feel any touch as if someone would touch your skin tough, because teasing.

............ why did you immediately assume that fondling would be involved

Because this is Gamindustri we're talking about.

One piece would the best she would get. One that hurts because it makes her look more flat that she really is.

Because Gameindustri

So with the upgrade, how does Doomgirl stack up against other adventurers?

>newd00m happened recently
>and it was better then 3
oh yeah, that should probably give her a considerable upgrade.

Yes the game industry is full of perverts, see Tomb, aka the personification of Tomb Raider, call her Lara and die.

Significantly more ripping, with a proportional increase in tearing as well.

Just to check, wasn't Doom 3 where they dropped the ball and went reverse-residen-Evil? (By which I mean: Tried to make a shooter into a Horror game?)

Let there be blorp's Word:
ask.fm/BlorpQuest/answers/137784907902

Doom was already a horror game, only one were you shot everything.

But yeah not very fond of 3.

Or was it reverse-Silent-Hill or reverse-Alone-in-the-dark or..... damn, either many horror games have suffered that fate or my mind plays tricks on me.

If it's just a swimsuit she could just wear normal clothes/armor over it.

So a cosmetic upgrade at the very least to her weapons along with the Praetor suit?

Hey Blorp, guess what?

[spoilerMemes[/spoiler] iffysonlinestore.com/TopNep

If she does it cancels the bonus or worse it takes all her armor slots. Actually it does both to prevent lophole abuse.

*Remembers DOOM and DOOM II* That is supposed to be Horror?

Either I have Nerves of Steel (Would explain my reaction to F.E.A.R.) or I am just hardened because have made multiple full low san runs trough Eternal Darkness. (Which means, three times trough the game with the Main antagonist choosing another Old one.)
Well, I will let Albedo speak for me.

Remenber the years the games were released. Update the graphics to modern standards and see if you don't p@# yourself.

I remember being pretty scared of Doom 64 when I played it.

but then again I was a huge pussy back then.

>[X] [TIFF, THRAVAR]
>[X] [BLANC]

It doesn't take you long to come to a decision. You regularly deal with dozens and dozens of dwarves; compared to that, figuring out what to do with six people is a piece of cake. Hell, it gets even better when you realize that so far, no one here has died, tantrumed, or gotten themselves stranded on the wrong side of a constructed wall.

On the other hand, two of 'em nearly blew each other to bits and one adventurer in particular has turned hell into her own private playground, so you figure it's a matter of time.

Anyway, you turn your attention back to Mojang's telepathic link. You're gonna have to go soon, so if she can hold the fort until then-

>"I'll keep double-checking that all the caverns are sealed up tight, and making sure Doomgirl doesn't need help, so go knock 'em dead, Oneechan!"

You crack open your flask and take a nice relaxing swig. You gotta admit, Mojang really is a good girl.

"Urist. You wanted these two clowns for something?"

The goddess of Lowee, representative of all things Nintendo, and ruler of her nation by divine mandate walks toward you, dragging over Tiff and Thravar by their collars before dumping them unceremoniously at your feet.

Between the two of them, they have, at most, one lucid consciousness. Probably has to do with the big ol' lumps sprouting from their craniums- which is impressive, seeing as the Team Fortress's got her hardhat and Warcraft's sporting that horned helm of hers.

"They keep fighting," Blanc explains calmly, "and I have had enough of their shit. You're dumping them back into Gamindustri?"

Eh, not quite. They need to fix up Planeptune, because-

"Oh, god." Her gaze goes half-lidded, and you feel the weight of centuries behind that knowing exasperation. "What did Neptune do now, and is Nepgear alright?"

Actually, it was Noire.

Blanc opens her mouth. A moment later, she closes it again. "... you'd better start from the beginning," the goddess deadpans.

(Cont.)

You sigh, scratching your head as you mentally sort through everything actually relevant to that whole CPU Black Heart debacle. Okay. So Noire came zooming in, see, and-

As expected of the goddess of Lowee, Blanc's expression barely changes as you give her the lowdown, the bullshit Histoire twist, and then that part where you justifiably used an unstable, physically impossible artifact to atom smash an evil clone and accidentally discharged all of Noire's bizarro shares into it to create a wormhole to who knows where, and-

Armok help you, you desperately need to get involved in things that DON'T sound terminally insane when you have to describe them to others.

"Okay. Here's what we're going to do," Blanc eventually says when you're finished. She walks back over and effortlessly drags Tiff and Thravar back up to their feet, ignoring how they and their armor weigh three times as much as she does. "We're dropping these nerds off in Planeptune, where they'll actually be useful. And then I'm coming with you to hunt down Noire and Neptune."

Wait, really?

She shoots you a /look/. "If Noire's still insane, she'll beat Neptune half to death- her armor was already obsolete, and whatever CPU Black Heart packs sounds like next generation stuff," Blanc explains. "So you'll need my help. If Noire ISN'T insane, then she's got information I need about that fake Histoire, and besides, those two idiots still couldn't find their way out of a paper bag."

The peace between Gamindustri's nations is probably genuine and all, but you're guessing that Blanc's opinion of her current rivals/former enemies hasn't changed all that much. Then again, you can't fault her 'cause Neptune IS Neptune.

You say your goodbyes to Shovel Knight and hop back through the portal with Blanc (who's still dragging Tiff and Thravar). The first thing you see when you're back in Planeptune looks like some kind of goddamned art gallery presentation around the Dutiful Chastity and OH FUCK.

(Cont.)

"- w-when we, tag-teamed Urist," Rokko explains, her dull, droning voice perfect for this sort of thing. "B-Back on the coast, across from L-Leanbox."

Estelle has her sword embedded in the ground, and she's... doing what appears to be warm-up stretches. "Now THAT was a legendary event right there," she sighs gustily. "Things were simpler back then!"

"... didn't you just say it happened a few days ago?" Iffy retorts, peering at the masterwork engravings with a sort of perturbed, reluctant fascination. "And- wow, THAT'S lewd. Didn't think that shorty had it in her to record all this- oh, hi."

OKAY NO TIME TO WAIT HERE'S YOUR GODDAMNED HELP, you roar, voice cracking, and you grab Tiff and Thravar before hurling them at IF's feet in a red-faced huff. C'MON, ASSHOLES, WE'RE GOING.

"Whaaat? We were getting to the best OOF." Estelle barely has time to grab her sword before you plant your boot against her ass and shove her through the portal.

"W-Worth-" The Blue Bomber follows soon after, totally and completely unassisted by you shoving her through as well.

You don't really have to do anything about Blanc- she promptly stops rubbernecking at Planeptune and transforms into her battle mode in a burst of light, her massive warhammer twirling into existence as CPU White Heart hefts its considerable weight. "Those dumbasses have better not moved from wherever they landed," she snarls before going in.

The last thing you see before jumping through the Dutiful Chastity's weirdo shares-charged portal is Tiff and Thravar climbing to their feet, only to be dragged off by Iffy while complaining in their country twang and orcish accent, respectively.

And then-

>Urist Twelfthbay falls through the warp!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 70, no bonus

>The first thing you see when you're back in Planeptune looks like some kind of goddamned art gallery presentation around the Dutiful Chastity and OH FUCK.
Oh no, not again.

Rolled 57 (1d100)

Rolled 7 (1d100)

CAN'T STOP

Rolled 28 (1d100)

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT PEOPLE!

Rolled 91 (1d100)

IT'S WARPING TIME!

...

s-sorry...

We only had a 30% chance, blame the DM.

I guess this was to be expected after that first roll last thread.

>Pass on 4th roll again.
Of course.

NO FUCK THAT!
YOU SEE THIS? :STOP MAKING EXCUSES!

I regret nothing.
Hey, I got the higest roll of em.

Yeeehaw!

oh boy

WRITING

... every time I see 'Top Nep,' my first mental association sure as hell isn't Top Gun.

It's Top Gear. In Gamindustri.

IF I WASN'T A MASSIVE FAILURE IN REAL LIFE I WOULD HUNT YOU ALL DOWN AND THROW RANDOM SEMI-SOLID OBJECTS AT YOU!

The way tg dice work, you tend to get better rolls if you made a few posts without rolls just after a low dice roll...

1d100 best of three averages to an 85, user. We had a very good shot. Roughly a two in three chance to succeed.

I wish we had the DC set at 70, desu senpai

>We had a very good shot.
Silly user. This is wrong because you forgot what quest we are currently in.

We did have the DC set at 70, you blithering retard. We had a 67.1% chance to succeed.

We had a good shot, and are a godawful shooter.

>her massive warhammer

I know you are the higest authority here.. but
BLANCS. WEAPON. IS. AN. AXE. IN. HDD. FORM.

Sorry I needed that to be calm again.

Well, it's happy !!FUN!! time!

It was getting borring anyways.

... goddammit, I keep forgetting!

Plus the tendency of tg dice to end low if you do them just after a low roll.

Don't you also forget that this is HDFQ?

I think it's the mayor factor.

...fuck.

Then lets blame the guberment.

Well, on the one Hand both are Weapons wo concentrate their energies on a small space to be able to make the most damage out of each strik.

On the other hand Axes/Hatchets are the type of weapons who tend to inflict wounds which kill the target the fastest and together with Hammers/Maces the surest.