Boss, why deir boyz 'ave no shootas...

Ladz iheve been thinkin wut if gork and mork arent de biggest and baddest? whut if dez hummies big boss iz? Da emparah I wuz dere when that tiny humie wit da fancy hat bloddy sliced dis nobs head off and picked up da powuh klaw like it was noffin Iz felt somethuin dat day something Iz never will feel again dez humies call fear. Iz been thinkin of joining dat humie with the fancy hat wez could prove useful dez humies hate us so dez would send us to the biggest and baddest fight to kill us iz thinkin

Boss, why iz da trigger so far way from da ejek... ejekshun... da part o' da shoota wher da spent dakka is thrown out?

Dis here is a propa /k/ommando

Of course they is to poor to buy dakka. Has you seen their runty teeth?

But they 'ave lots o' 'em, boss! 'Nuff ta buy a propa shoota!

You'z iz tinkin' too much der', ya blasted git! Get ya 'ead outta da sky, an get ta FIOGHT'N! Loike any true an' roight propah Ork! Oddawise, I'ma stick onnah da Warboss' X'plo'deh vests on ya'z and charge ya at da 'umies ta X'plodeh!

You'z both wrongz! Orks 'ave da best Dakka! Ain't no ifz or buttz!

... heh heh... buttz...

You mean da Stormboyz, boss?

>Get ya 'ead outta da sky
But sumwun needs ta shoot da flakka dakka gun, boss.

Oi lads I 'ad a scrap wid dose bugs an' when I went ta loot dem dere woz nuffin ta loot! 'Ow do dey fink dey can fight da Orks when dey aint got any proppa dakka?

'ave ya tried diggin'? Sum of dem bugs burrow unnaground.

...

Ya git, I aint no bug keepin grot. Wotz I gonna do wiv a bug?

Wot? Me dig? We gotz diggaz fer dat.

wutz dat but on da buttom of da rifle

One mor' word outta ya'z, an I'm strappin' onnah da Warboss' X'plo'deh vests ta ya!

Ya know da onez where ya charge da 'umies an X'plode! Killin' ya self in da name O' Mork an Gork, an da great Warboss Michael Ba'York!

IT'Z DA SHOULDA FING DAT GOES UP YA GIT!

Whyz wud iz use my 2 perfectly gud killy hands to use a shotta? When I couold usez a shoota and a choppa

Wot if ya stukk a choppa onta da end of yer shoota, den got anuvva shoota and did da same fing? Den ya got dubble da dakka and dubble da choppy!

wot
If yuh moved da zoggin' trigga 'way from them grippy bitz you wuddn't be able t' shoot 'tall proppa-like, ya git!
'Eck place do y' think yoo'd put da trigga?

The zog izzat? Wots dat gubbins on it?

dis ere is a smart ork Iz bet youz a mek

>puttin' a skope on a shoota

U has sluggas foh dat you dumb! Get a slugga 'n assashun knife for knifegun aksion

It'z a git findah, lookin' for panziez. Deadly kunnin

Oy loikez it! But it feelz loike it'z missin' sum'fing... canz we makez da Dakka it foirez be choppaz?

Dat wayz, ya gotz ya Dallas, AN ya choppaz!

ehh you don fool uz ya dum stubid humie, we knowz yaz nod n ork. quit puttin emprah probbaganda on r board

Diz post iz undarated. McOrkthy

Act'ily... dat der' be Grub Worshippa... He ain't been roight in da 'ead as o late...

Sayz he been seein' da Gods! Ha!

Is it true that Orks can just put two random objects together and make a gun that'll just magically work because they believe 100% that it'll work?

Sorry, I'm not familiar with 40k. My friend told me that, and I think it's a really neat idea.

Da zog's a Dallas? Sum kinda shoota?

OI WHO DIS HUMIE I BET HES ONE OF DOSE INQUISTIVE TYPES

>botherin wiv shootas

pansies and gits you all
deres only one way to foight and its da fastest and da orkiest, strappin da dakka to ya back and goin shyoooooooommmmm

"Poor" in wat? Dakka ain't cost nuffin' ya grot! Mi clips neva even leff mi shoota, saves ammo dat way see?

@48872692
wots this a umie? or jus a dumb grot lol

Naw...

We'd hav more shooty choopaz that way.

Humies do have a hard time using our shootaz!

Is a feature, not a bug, eh?

Wheres ya red ya grot! Ya wants to go fast shyoomin or da umies gon' git ya good.

It was onnah dem' der' auta'korr'ectz. Blasted f'ing loikes ta change wot oi' wrotz! Was sopustah say "Dakka"!

Now shut ya mouf, before i tellz da Warboss' ta strap ya up wit onnah 'is X'plo'deh vests!

dissss ork's got et roight

Not quite. Meks have an instinctual knowledge of how to produce basic technology from basically fucking garbage, and since Orks is always fightin', lootin', and raidin', they've got a lot of scrap laying around.

Ork guns are soundly built, but they're built to the absolute trashiest, most mass-produced standards imaginable, and often in ways that don't make sense.

A 'shoota' does have to actually resemble a gun... at first. But an ork that wants 'more dakka' can pretty much just slap a second barrel on without actually connecting it to any of the proper workings and still get a shootier shoota.

Troof

>Not strappin' da Dakka ta a vest an blowin' yaself up in da name o' da Warboss' cause you'z a true an propa X'plo'deh Ork
It'z loike ya not even immunz ta X'plo'suns!

WOT'S ALL DIS DEN
ARE YA'S GITS SLAKKIN OFF GROTPOSTIN ON Veeky Forums? YA KRUMP EAT N SLEEP THATS ME THINK

So, it still needs to be mostly gun parts, but they can just slap on more gun parts to make it more gun and more shoot?

the way it's described in the lore is basically something like that.
the way it USED to be is that you could hand an ork a copper pipe and if you told him it was a gun it would shoot but they retconned that

O shitz! Itz da bosses left- err... roight... da one da boss tellz all da ordahs ta!

E'eryone, pretendz wez Ben 'avin' a meet'n!

iz a simble conzept, humie. iz u dum inna 'ead? and da humiez tink deyz da next brain boyz lul

Yes. Orks basically run on cartoon physics. An ork can literally yank the fuel line out of his plane and drink the fuel (and often they do) without crashing, but if they actually notice they've run out of fuel, THEN they'll crash. Of course, usually by then they're aiming to crash into something anyway, because fuck it, what's the point of a plane if you can't smash it into something and get a nice pretty boom?

Admech does not even know how their tech knows.
Damn it, 3rd Ed Tau Codex shown an Imperial dude that thought Tau Domes were unnaturally big and unable to exist by laws of physics. Does Tau architecture work by meme magic? No. Do ork guns work by meme magic? No. The waaghh can only work to some degree. It will make it run slightly better. But's just that. Psychic oil.

Oi isant dis what da humies call herzey?

Sorta, the extra barrel doesn't actually shoot, it just is a focus for there too be slightly more kick.

All ork tech is fully functional and works i the hands of non orks, the orks power just irons out the unreliability, jams or backfires and such. Give an m16 too an ork and it would be as reliable for him as an ak47 for us.

roight! I knowz ho' ta make em tink we'z bein' reproductive! We'z be all sneaky beaky an' make us sound loik dem hummies! He nevah know we'z been muckin about!

*AHEM* Now then my dear fellows, it seems that someone has been stealing our most precious resource, namely, dakka. While I can appreciate as much as the next ork that it is rather nice with some tea and crumpets, I must ask you all to please refrain from stealing it. Otherwise, we shall be forced to resort to corporal punishment. Oh, and we won't be having william deal out such punishments again. Seems the old boy rather enjoys it a bit too much if you catch my meaning.

...
>*KRUMP*

>Not shootin' choppy
>geddaloadadisgrot

>dat feel when youz juzt ah few mo teef from roight prohpa meka arma

I'z so close ta all da reel krumpin dat da boss gonna giv me my own nobz ta treat loike gitz.

Welp... der' goes a brave, but stupid Ork!

Dat Choppy dakka ain't Loud 'enuff. O'ws the otha git suppose ta know you got da Dakka if it don't go DAKKA?

'Owz a 'boutz you add X'plo'deh bitz T's da choppaz when'z da'yz get fiored? Dat wayz, da choppaz is still Dakka, whilez itz also stillz bein's choppaz?

Dat's easy, ya grot! Ya yell DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA wen ya shoot da choppy shoota! You'z gonna yell it anyway, moight as well let 'em 'ere ya dis toim!

Doh dis boy'z idea iz also roight proppa. Make da shoppy shooty blasty? Oi loike it!

Dat'z why oi'm da bosses rough 'and Ork! Nowz getz ya 'Splodeh Vest on, and charge dem 'umies line an' X'plode! If ya survivez, den you'z a true an' propa X'plo'deh boy! If not, den you'll be DEAD!

Yer a propa git, any Ork worf 'is gubbinz knows dat if you aint got Dakka, and you aint got choppy bitz den you aint propa killy.

Baus iz Boss and 'e sez make it choppy

...

Oi'z see a git dat'z getting da vest treatment!