You don't just write goblins off as fodder, right user? Surely not...

What about a shortstack on stilts?

> What can I do with goblins that I can't do with anything else?
What can you do with other humanoid races that you can't do with humans?
Just put shit in for no reason, man, it's fun.

>just put shit in for no reason, its fun.
Scat goblins are horribly under utilised

Goblins are basically short green gypsies.
Fortune telling, booze smuggling, whoring, petty crimes, all that jazz.

Prostitution, good for all odds and ends.

This.

Goblins are so 1980's/1980's.

Kobolds are the superior modern choice for retarded, tiny, easily killable creatures that are cowardly and attack in droves and do stupid shit.

My goblins are like WoW goblins: they are completely fucking demented.

So anybody else thinks Alfie will fuck off with the caravan?

>unironically reading InCase for the plot
You gay, nigga.

The caravan's gone already, matey.

"I laugh in the face of danger! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

That's also Pathfinder Goblins.
Well, that plus pyromania and shark teeth.

>So anybody else thinks Alfie will fuck the caravan?
I sure hope so. I like me some slutty shortstack gangbang.

Correction: has fucked off with the caravan.

My goblins are like Tolkien goblins, properly called Orcs.

this

Dwarf Fortress goblins.

>I'm not really sure how to make goblins interesting. Aside from making them green shortstacks.

Nothing wrong with that. At all.

>Aside from making them green shortstacks.

That's not interesting at all.

I like having goblins be artificers, exploding out of the ground with tanks and golems with 'orky' hijinks abound (looting and making even crazier and fun stuff)

Oh I don't know makeing them actual characters. Like how guardsmen can be more than fodder when you just attach a name to em. Like instead of Goblin Chief call him cheif Globo Bobo gold raker. From that alone you can tell he's a greedy gobo. Or just really good at gambling

Lithe is good, but tall isn't. Gobbos should be short.

there is this midget that works at the mcdonalds drivethrough during the graveyard shift that I really want to fuck.

She's actually pretty hot desu

Goblins are shit tier and so is your fetish for dumpy Latina women

Them is fightin' words.

Ummm... Jareth?

>You don't just write bulettes off as fodder, right user? Surely not, you'd be writing off so many potential characters and encounters.

I've made my goblins Irish. Slapping a culture on a race is cheap, but damn if it doesn't make them flexible.

>implying OP's setting has goblins
>implying OP has a setting
>implying OP plays tabletop
>implying OP isn't just trying to start another softcore porn thread

Recently I've bben kicking around the idea of making goblins, hobgoblins and bugbears not just the same species, but in fact the same creatures.

They're stages of life: goblins grow into hobgoblins who grow into bugbears, who grow into worgs

But I'm not sure if I want those to be simply age categories and not have this gradual transformation actually caused by something else, near-death experience maybe, or excess adrenaline from fighting
Also, I'm not sure if I want to keep bugbears being dumber than hobs and worgs dumber than bugbears. Sure, it works, but if they keep growing smarter as they age, it paints a wholly different picture

I think you maybe onto something, character actress Margo Martindale!

You know, there really aren't enough good shitposting roles for women.

Goblins and Hobgoblins in my campaign world are considered civilized (Read: PC) races. They even count among the "God-Born", Or the races that originally inhabited this world before the Oberking left (Yay for oblique references!). They are currently being systematicly oppressed by the Empire Secret Police in order to drive them south. There, it is reasoned, they will create a new kingdom. Once it's built, the Empire will Annex it and extend it's territory. At such time, Hobgoblins and Goblins will be excepted back at their original ranks and status. Next on the list is to exhile some dwarf leaders to create holds in the Greytop mountains and do it all over again.

Cont.
As for what the races are like, I play Goblins as Hardluck cases and what I call "All-most-theres", or people on the cusp of SOMETHING but can't make it for reason X. A race of urchins and Ignored potential. And unfortunatly squeeky voices.

Hobgoblin's culture is one of Social Classes as signified by the type of metal caps on their bottom fangs. Copper for Merchants, Iron for Soldiers, Gold for Bankers, Steel for Nobles... ect. They are very competent in what they do and have very little training or experience in anything else.

Female goblins are fodder for my dick.

In muh setting, 'goblins' are an extremely rare race I haven't yet made aware to players.
They are not traditional goblinoids, instead being genetic misfits carrying traits of humans, elves, orcs, gnomes, halflings, and dwarves, with a hint or two of white dragonborn.
Stumpy, Medium humanoids about the size of dwarves, they share skin tone with any of their parental races, leading to orcish, elven, and humanoid skin colorations, mostly pale because they live far north.
As what amounts to muttfolk, they have a cartoonishly short lifespan (a 10-year-old is an adult, to a max of 30 years) and this leads to their outlook on life being very black and white, sometimes to the point of childishness. Either they are paragons and champions of the highest ideals they know exist, or they are complete and total degenerates. They live and breed quickly as their lifespan merits and most die horrible, excruciatingly painful deaths in the freezing, often sunless wilderness they serve as the workers and scouts of.
For the paragons, they often create powerful, well-known bloodlines held to a high sense of honor, skill, and duty, which is astounding to elves who seek out their services one century and find out in the next the descendant has become the world's foremost expert on killing glacial monsters. Insulting a goblin family is tantamount to slow suicide in a village where everyone knows and relies on each other to live.
As for the degenerates, well, 'motherfucker' is a descriptor considered more factual than insulting, and cannibalism isn't frowned upon unless the person is still alive- unless 'they had it coming'. I'll leave it at that.

I just use humans as fodder instead.

>a 10-year-old is an adult
Muh dick.

In my game, all goblinoids are basically Puerto Ricans. They live on an island, conquered by a human nation, the laws contrived so they cannot profit from their island's own ports, and are trapped in debt they literally are not allowed to do anything about as human banks tear apart their economy and close down their schools and hospitals in order to turn a profit on their debt.

This is why all the Goblinoids are crazy as shit and fight amongst themselves about whether to be fully a part of the Human empire, and gain the power to actually structure their debt and profit of their ports, or become completely independent and cut out the Empire entirely.

They're also crazy as shit.

Life on Goblin Island is hard, and it now costs more to grow food in their own soil than it is to import food.

This makes the Goblins crazy as all fuck.

Unless they live in the main city, they're likely to be farmers. In the city, it's hard to get a job at the ports since each shipping company forced contracts on the island that will only employ their own countrymen, or will only pay them coppers on the silver for their work, and hardly enough to live on.

This makes the Goblins completely batshit.

A lot of rich nobles build manses in their dense jungles and treat the island as their own personal playground.

You better believe the locals are fucking crazy.

The Empire tried to turn their beaches into real estate to sell to wealthy nobles. After supressing a violent and bloody coup, the Empire passed a law that ensures the beaches of Goblin Island will always and forever be public property.

Because those fucking Goblins are insane and will go further off the deep end then anyone else is willing to go to keep their beaches.

As in they have a adult body and mind.
Degenerate.

Oh man, you have no idea what kind of shit you just stepped in. Lining mass graves? Maybe you're thinking back to the horde days. sure, sure, population size is a great deterrent to an invading army, but that's not how kingdoms get taken. That's not how influence expands. The goblins you're thinking of were bent to the whims of greater powers, or sloppy and disorganized. Nowadays? We do a lot more with what we have.

For one, there's those numbers. You got women looking like OPs pic up there and you can bet the population tends to skyrocket in most goblin settlements. Sure, this means more mouths to feed, but it also means more hands to grow the food with.

Secondly, you have the sneak factor. You get a team of goblins with a gunpowder charge in the sewers of some enemy city and you're in for a short war when the enemy fortifications collapse into the tunnels below themselves. That is assuming your civilization's alchemy has figured out explosives yet.

Thirdly, everyone expects us to be cheats and cutthroats, so we're good at it. Even in cities we don't control, we have vice on lock. You want a little green whore, a drink that's too stiff to be considered legal, some magically-poached goods, maybe a nicked dagger? Need a loan, or want someone gone? Goblin guilds have your back.

Sure, we like to live in squalor sometimes, but our royalty live off the fat of the richest kingdoms, reverse engineering their works and drinking in their fill of the labors of our foes.

Maybe after we plague grenade your city from our scout balloons you'll be lucky enough to line a mass grave. Don't worry, your children won't be affected, gotta snatch up some new citizenry and see what crazy half breeds we can make for the guild when they grow up and interbreed with society.

I like the pissed off kind of crazy goblins. Plus, Puerto Rico is almost never ripped off when it comes to fantasy settings. You see Western, Japanese and even Aztec shit all over but nothing ever from Puerto Rico.

Goblins are the Skaven of my setting (but without nice things) and I'm happy enough with that characterisation.

I wonder if my goblins would fight goblins from other settings. It would be interesting to do an all-goblin continent with a number of gobbo civilizations with different views. Some are buttfuck crazy or puppet states, others are alchemical research havens in far off places.

Really I think the Carribean in general is ripe for great RP material. I mean, you've got Voodoo, Rasta, Rude boys, etc.

Really, you can base a whole campaign around island people struggling under an empire.

Goblin. Yardies. In. Cyberpunk.

i had a story idea where goblins are an emerging race of merchants and very adept smugglers and crime lords. though you can do that with humans i think you can get away with adding racial barriers to the mix without making people uncomfortable. (goblins look out for each other and treat humans and other races with disdain.)

so like, they're kind of like little green angry italian jews

Source?
I want to masturbate to dead goblin babies

My paladin appreciates goblins because his cleric mother met her husband when he was being chased by goblins for a meat sandwich.

Goddamn Incase goblins... Dude gave me a fetish for shortstacks, damn him!

In all seriousness though having goblins being more then low level exp fodder would be a nice change of pace from most games I've been in... But how would one make them stand out besides making them WoW levels of demented? Or risk going onto the other side of the scale and just turn them into green halflings?

I considered that, but at that point I'm basically just using WoW goblins.
Which, mind you, aren't a bad interpretation and have stuff going for them. But I'd rather not rip them off wholesale.

Goblin Slayer.

Goblins have normal intelligence and wisdom scores. But they act like complete lunatics.

Why?

Short life spans.

Goblins mature fast physically, and learn quickly, but emotional maturity takes actual time. Goblin "adults" are teenagers. Their entire species is run by teenagers. It's fucking Lord of the Flies all the time, every day, living in filth and screaming at each other and starting fires and occasionally rioting in the direction of a human village. This is why they often wind up as mobs of minions for someone bigger and older: they need adult supervision.

The solution? Goblin Necromancers. In my setting, there's a real goblin culture starting to develop, based on the idea of making the most valuable, strong, and wise members of society immortal. This (according to the charismatic goblin necromancer who started the movement) is the only way to ensure true goblin self-rule, and end the cycle of being dependent on and kicked around by the longlivers.

If you're born as a goblin, you've got a handful of years to prove your worth to goblinkind. Could be as a soldier, a craftsman, a mage, whatever, but you gotta find something you're good at and go for it whole hog. Try to invent something brilliant, no time for safety precautions! Make a suicidal charge on the enemy position, if you succeed you'll gain eternal life! Welcome to goblin wizard academy: the shit humans learn in 10 years and elves in 100, you will learn in 2 or explode trying. 75% of goblin wizard apprentices explode, but fuck it, they only had a couple years to live anyway! We've got more goblins! More clever, reckless, vicious little motherfuckers, yearning for a shot at eternal life!

>Karl Franz

I lost my shit.

I just treat goblins like a mix of malkavians and supporting characters from monty python films. They make for fantastic flavor npcs that way and them being crazy makes them much easier to improvise.

They're angry little schizophrenic perverts who are bizarrely verbose and extremely immature. Way too much fun. My players even want to add one to the party as their NPC diplomat for shits and giggles.

Ah yes, that good old "Candle Burns Twice as Bright" wizard college.
>This year was an academy record, as only 56% of the student body and 22% of faculty was lost during primary Fireball training.

Do goblins ever have any racial gods, or any that even give two shots about them?

In D&D, they traditionally have Maglubiyet as their main patron god, but they also have a pantheon of other, lesser deities: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goblinoid_deities

In Pathfinder, they worship Lamashtu and the Four Goblin Hero-Gods, which are basically legendary barghests.
pathfinder.wikia.com/wiki/Goblin_Hero-Gods

Ah ok. I was considering taking a default setting, and add a new god that sometimes takes in members of races that show promise of being upstanding citizens, then proceeds to not only mark them but transform them into a longer lived and slightly less monstrous versions of themselves (who also breed less). Just wondering what gods should be pissed off for subverting their children.

Ha! Just imagine an elf god who did that to promising humans. "You show promise! You are not like others of your brutish, savage kind!"

Anyone who gets chosen and transformed is not gonna be popular with their original race.

They're a created race. Meant to serve as fodder.
They were created without fear, and a explosive enough birth rate to ensure that that lack of survival instinct doesn't kill the race off.

Eventually something like this:happens.

Same as normal dnd goblins but with a racial immunity to fear, like the Palidin power.

Yup. The ultimate goal of the goddess is to for every member of those races to either convert or die by the sword. Maybe not by her hand, but the conflicts will be encouraged and exploited. And of course, she'll be taking in all those orphans.

If she actually succeeds that with any race, their mark dissappears.

Any links to good female gobbo porn?

My goblins are wirelessly networked robots. They don't need to be interesting when they can be absolutely terrifying.

> wirelessly networked robots
> goblins
You mean cranium rats, not goblins.

Well, then, there's no gobbos in my setting. So there.

Like, literal robots or just classic hivemind shit?

...

Literal. It's a science fiction setting.

With all these smug anime girls, there's too many shitposting roles for women in today's society.

My settings goblins evolved on mountains and are now seeking tto make gobliny technology to honor the precursor race, which are djinn. There's also the usual merchants, miners, mages, and everything else they live in monasteries and are spiritual, but mentally competent enough to function when dealing with other societies.

In short, they're jeskai yordles

Oh, ok.
Not actual goblins then.

For Pathfinder, I ran We Be Goblins before I ran Rise of the Runelords and had the goblins become reoccurring villains/anti-heroes.

For 5th edition I fleshed out Droog to have been the local scavenger for the town that did odd jobs, who lives in an old badger den under the Sleeping Giant Inn that had gone missing so the PCs had a reason to not kill him in case they missed a lead. He ended up becoming a hireling for the party.

>so like, they're kind of like little green angry Italian Jews.

"Good gob yes! Buy more potions, the dungeons are dangerous after all!"

any photoshop wizards that can turn this Jew into a goblin would be great.

My goblins are rural, Slavic farming orcs. They're notoriously short, but not tiny short (think Asians to Caucasians).

They're a bit more specialized than halflings focusing on somewhat exotic crops used in medicines, recreational drugs, alchemy, and as magical regents, and delving a bit into these fields themselves.

They have strong racial tensions with Hobgoblins (the French to their British, the every other Asian to their Every other other Asian), but also because there's a lot of phenotype similarities that people confuse the two (even they can't instantly tell one another apart) and Hobgoblins prefer coastal regions and tend to be sea raiders, pirates, and nomadic thieves, dragging down the reputation of regular goblins.

They are territorial due to a history of being raided and screwed over by dwarven races and dark elves, making them as bit slow to trust and willing to let people they trade with walk away with the short end of the stick. But hobgoblins piss them off the worst.

So, serious question, how would you actually pull off the "goblins are cute/sexy curvy green shortstacks" thing in typical D&D setting without going fullbore XXX-edition on your setting?

I mean, I definitely got no problems with the idea that humans will voluntarily fuck humanoids beyond elves and orcs, I'm just curious how you take a fairly "serious" setting and still do the more porny goblins in them.

Incidentally, there is at least one 3rd edition D&D setting that had official half-goblins - Dragonlance, the same setting that gave us half-gnomes and half-dwarves without any angsty racial baggage (aka, muls).

>voluntarily
If I remember the description, at least in the vidya world, half-orcs were typically products of rape.

One thing that can lead to the goblin thing is that they're kind of dumb so would be easily tricked into servitude. They're also not 9 foot tall walls of muscle and rage like an orc.

Forewarning: this is all based on some very sketchy biology.

>Goblins come from cold, mountainous archipelago which favored small bodies with good fat retention.
>Combine this with Goblin women usually averaging four to seven kids, often in litters, and the incredibly tiny size of goblin babies leaves Goblin women curvy from excessive levels of estrogen in their bloodstream
>This also is combined with the fact that large breasts and thighs are basically THE goblin standard of beauty for females as males seem almost hardwired to hit that so hard pulling them out makes you an English Monarch, adding natural selection into the mix.
>All this combined have meant goblin women have evolved to be short and curvy.

>Goblins that are Pythonesque
I am stealing this.

Stealing Globo Bobo Goldraker

I see what you're trying to do, and it's not really equivalent enough to turn into a meme. At least use Owlbears.

My Goblins are pretty much CoC goblins, just toned down so they are not actual rapists. Sure, they are shortstack and handsy towards the PCs, but none of them has asked why they haven't met a male goblin yet.

Oh, they know, user. They know exactly why.

They just aren't willing to take the invitation to your magical realm.

In my current setting, goblins are skinny, knee-high, and obnoxiously hyperactive. They're shortlived, which leads to a taste for hedonism and excess, but centuries of co-existence with humans means you'll find them all over the place, as anything from stablehands to politicians. Basically, the players meet something like one goblin for every four humans.

Goblins in a setting I've been mulling over are the industrious race. In fact, they're practically the Civilization Race.

The Elves are a powerful HRE-style empire fueled by Arcane and Divine magic fusions, but replace early firearms with magic wands. Gnomes are a little more advanced with an 18th Century early-industrial revolution vibe (invented warforged using cogs-n-shit).

But the Goblins? Imagine if the US Army circa 1865 just rolled into Faerun in all its fuckhuge glory. Repeaters, gatling guns, borderline World War cannon. Magic has taken a supporting role in war simply because firearms are so much more powerful. They're durable due to getting the most shit land and just scraping by for centuries, and they regularly combine their tech with vast and terrible Worg cavalry (yes I'm using the Zendikar stats for goblins) to devastating effect.

If they could ever stop killing each other long enough to turn against their real enemies, they might just wreck the entire world.

Goblins are what you kill if your alignment is good

Doesn't fucking matter what I do, my shitlord players all want to be goblins anyway

> Playing a setting with non-humans

I mean, this would be a complete shitpost if you boring faggots weren't posting shit like "I make them like the Portuguese".

If you're going to have non-humans, make them inhuman.

For instance Goblins in my setting are non-sapient however they are extremely susceptible to memes, resulting in complex interactions that simulate intelligence. Yes I'm ripping off Blindsight here for the basic concept. They're all Eliza chat bots.

Feral clusters are considered to be fairly dangerous. They instinctively swarm and are sensitive enough to each other to react almost instantly. Not a hive mind, tactics only happen by mistake, but any weakness is immediately attacked.

Which honestly is like 70% of most tactics anyways.

Where their value comes from, is that if you can program them early on then they are excellent servants and civil workers. In order to prevent contamination they work in furtive groups, either in the dead of night or behind unseen doors and in structural tunnels. It's illegal to interact with or even acknowledge them.

I'm sure you can see possibilities here. "Infection" where a feral cluster learns to mimick them and wreaks unexplained havoc because the people have also conditioned themselves to not think of goblins if they're wearing their white shirt and tie, carrying their official clipboard.

Or the party can try and use them, but who knows what if anything they will respond to and how.

Or even a normal plague carried along never noticed because goblins don't actually question or communicate.

And there are still Gobbos to fight as fodder of course.

Now, if you guys want to get weird there's my halflings.

>attractive goblins
cancer.
Goblins should be devilish little cunts with big noses.

Hobgoblins are great

The goblinoid family includes goblins, orcs, and ogres. Further, the child of an orc and a goblin is a hobgoblin.