Why can't space marines have girlfriends or boyfriends?

why can't space marines have girlfriends or boyfriends?

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No dicks

How do they pee then?

they don't, and that you would ask about it shows you aren't mature enough to play 40K to begin with.

oh my FUCKING GOD HOW MANY TIMES WILL THIS THREAD BE MADE.

They're not normies

I suspect brain damage.

In most canon accounts, they lack a sex drive; bear in mind, Space Marines are made from prepubescent boys, not from men.

Space Marines have dicks, user.

Through their dicks, other user is an idiot (though their bodies recycle most of the water they take in; they run much more efficiently than humans)

*snort* 40k doesn't require maturity, user. It appeals to the teenage boy is all of us who goes "Chainsaw swords? Awesome!"

You suspect this thread was made by Spess Muhreens?

>*snort*
user please

What purpose do the loincloths serve? Don't they just get stuck in the knee pads?

The whole Horus Heresy thing gave them trust and commitment issues
Get better bait

More swag = higher rank. Dick skirts count as a symbol of power

They can, you just misspelled "battle brothers" and "bolter bitches".

They require only the comfort of the Emperor.

just like sex in the real world people don't generally wright storys home about it because when its good its personal.

Salamanders are actually known to marry women of Nocturne, and keep in touch with their families back home while they are still around.

Space Wolves are known to be similar but with less familiar ties.

Space Marines can love and know love, they just will only ever stay in that "puppy love" stage because they weren't adults when they were indoctrinated. They don't need to go beyond that.

I'm a huge faggot, please rape my face.

This pasta, ignore it.

>or boyfriends?
Girls can't be Space Marines.

>Salamanders are actually known to marry women of Nocturne, and keep in touch with their families back home while they are still around.
No they don't you lying sack of shit, not only are you taking a source that isn't canon anymore given how fucking outdated it is, it never stated they actually marry and fuck. Salamanders keep in TOUCH with their families, they keep contact with their parents, their uncles, their aunts, and their nephews, and the generations they live to see later. Salamanders ensure their families survive Nocturne's cycle of geologic upheaval, although beyond this they don't interact that much. Most of them stay in the fortress on Nocturne or on its moon.

>Space Wolves are known to be similar but with less familiar ties.
You mean how a neophyte who was not yet a space marine was fornicating with women, although its truth is completely dubious?

>Space Marines can love and know love, they just will only ever stay in that "puppy love" stage because they weren't adults when they were indoctrinated.
Stop fucking generalizing. Different Chapters recruit people from all across the age spectrum. The Black Templars induct and augment fully grown young men in their twenties, same as some Legions likely did during the Great Crusade. Standard age is 12, but this is by no means followed by those Chapters that break the codex like the Space Wolves and Black Templars, who take in late teens or early maturity (the human male only finishes growing by around 21-22).

Space Marines have their dick and balls, never is it stated they don't, stop spreading this horseshit. We actually know thanks to ADB that space marines are hung like horses, however they are completley impotent. They have zero sexual desires naturally, likely due to receiving so much brainwashing/indoctrination their past identity is for all intents and purposes erased.

Yes you are you heretical impostor.

>being angry means I am right

>Not knowing how the Chaplaincy works
God Emperor my ass, daemon.

Their only love is a battlefield
youtube.com/watch?v=IGVZOLV9SPo

>We actually know thanks to ADB
this was almost a perfect post

And? Emperor's Gift, Inquisitor showers naked with a Grey Knight and laments that his spear has the floppy special rule.

Sorry user, but your third point is completely fucking wrong.
Age range for implantations:
Phase 1: Secondary heart 10-14 years.
Phase 2: Ossmodula 10-12 years.
Phase 3: Biscopea 10-12 years
Phase 4: Haemastaten 12-14 years
Phase 5: Larraman's organ 12-13 years
Phase 6: Cataepsean node 14-17 years
Phase 7: Preomonor 14-16 years
Phase 8: Omophagea 14-16 years
Phase 9: Multi-lung 14-16 years
Phase 10: Occulobe 14-16 years
Phase 11: Lyman's ear 14-16 years
Phase 12: Sus-an membrane 15-16 years
Phase 13: Melanochrome 15-16 years
Phase 14: Oolitic kidney 15-16 years
Phase 15: Neuroglottis15-16 years
Phase 16: Mucranoid 16 years
Phase 17: Betcher's gland 16-17 years
Phase 18: Progenoids 16-18 years
Phase 19 Black carapace 16-18 years
Any older and the implants don't take, even with the intensive chemo-therapy that initiates undergo.

Sorry, that's old canon and also blatantly false given that it does not apply to the Space Marine Legions or the modern Black Templars and Space Wolves.

Pic related is a new recruit for the Black Templars, not even a neophyte yet.

Additionally the Horus Heresy book series blows that chart out of the fucking water. It's best not to cling to ancient material outdated by several editions.

Yeah double checking, that chart is definitely non canon. It's from fucking 1989. It's twenty-seven years old. 40k has long marched on past it, along with almost everything else in the compendium. Age with 40k sources comes with irrelevancy.

You're the one who needs to stop playing. Why would you aim to turn away potential players?
Maybe you don't realise that it's young blood that keep companies releasing new stuff and a keeps hobbies (especially war gaming) alive and ever changing.
They've already sold me thousands upon thousands of quids worth of stuff throughout the past 20 or so years. They don't need me anymore. The money for GW is in new kids joining the fight.
You should be thanking them that their potential business is what is driving new designs and releases.

>Girls can't be Space Marines.

>why can't space marines have girlfriends or boyfriends?
They can and do as long as they are space wolves

Disregard sex.
Rip and tear aliens, demons and heretics.

Too bad it only applies to "or boyfriends" part and [spoler]wolves[/spoiler]

bio-engineered weapons

the black carapace has some tubes designated for shit and piss. It's the greatest honor to a space marine to take his dick out for the emperor.

They don't have to go to the toilet, THEY ARE THE TOILET.

stop it user, you are too old to be a space marine.

It actually makes some sense they don't piss or shit. If they're so advanced their digestive and urinary system should be 100% efficient.

They just can't muster the inner strength to ask a girl out.

>Any older and the implants don't take, even with the intensive chemo-therapy that initiates undergo.

Unless they're space wolves I guess since the majority were made into space marines at age over 20?

Yeah, yeah I know, rules don't apply when it comes to awoo-marines, but it wasn't the majority. The majority of the space wolves legion came to Fenris from Terra with the Emperor, the majority of Russ' warriors, which was fewer than a thousand iirc got turned into space marines at whatever age they were and because the 'dex writer was a disgusting yiffer they all lived happily ever after instead of dissolving into puddles of goo.

>Inquisitor Drogan?

"I'm Ultramarines."

>why can't nuns screw around?

not using ctrl+s hotkey for spoiler tags
pleb

Because you made this exact same thread a month ago, it even had the same picture in the OP. I can't wait until you have to go back to school again.

>*snort*
reddit

>who is the Emprah

>posting someone from reddit

Of course Space Marines can have girlfriends. It's just that they will almost never be on the same planet at the same time, and the few times they can be with each other the rest of the squad will be jealous as all hells

Because I said so.

Which book(s) are you thinking of?

HH pre-dates the modern 40k marines, so they could have used different methods with the Legions than modern Chapters and may not apply.

Regardless, the older recruits got some implants in the earlier Dark Angels HH book when the Emperor came to Caliban for Lion, but they were still technically human and have some subplot angst about it. Luther and his generation for example I think.

Also there's a Space Wolves book plus some 5th edition codex fluff about them recruiting full adult warriors on Fenris, but they also do their Canis Helix business a little differently than the other Chapters, so they may be an exception to how it's done vs. the other Codex marines.

Horus betrayed me I'm FEDDAP WIDDIS WOARLD

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART HORUS!

They're basically chemically castrated. Removing the sex drive is pretty important if you're creating soldiers you want full control over.

The traditional making of a space marine would prefer that they be very young, around 12. This was during the heresy as well as 40 k. Each chapter might be a little different, but by and large this remains true. They CAN get older recruits, but they are less likely to survive the process. It was considered a miracle that so many of the first space wolves survived the change during the great crusade.

thought testosterone would be great for fighting

but im sure 40k has some bullshit special cocktail of chemicals that induce strength and aggression without a sex drive

...

No interest

THEIR ONLY LOVE IS THE EMPRAH

Because being steel and doom is their pussy.

Space marines for the most part lack sex drive and prefer to not let their emotions cloud their ability to serve the imperium.

Chaos space marines on the other hand...

Space marines are the emperor's cucks. They live to have the emperor's gene seed inserted into their bodies. They covet his vat grown organs. But, because they are His cucks they aren't allowed to have women. Only His superior Middle Eastern penus is good enough according to space marine fandom. Space marines are probably the biggest cucks to ever exist in any fantasy realm, we're talking about galactic levels of cuck fantasy here.

I expected this kind of shit from the tau, but after I found out what the space marines were really about I gave up on them completely, sold all my space marine merchandise, and didn't feel clean until every space marine book/figurine was gone. Fuck this army and anyone who collects them.

If you're implying he's Turkish, you are wrong. Open a History book. Turks didn't move into the Area until the 800's AD.

Arabs didn't move into the Middle-eastern area around 300 AD. Both Long after the Emperor is born, because remember: The Emperor was Jesus.

In fact, if anything, he's a primordial White man.

>jesus was white
WE WUZ PROPHETS N SHEEIT

Because 40k is a kid's game, and space marines were designed to be relatable to unfuckable permavirgins who desire power fantasies.

I think it was really done that way because GW doesn't want the grimdarkness of 40k to focus on anything like love or romance, or non-battle things. After all, it is primarily a wargame, and any fluff is really only to explain whose dudes are fighting and why. While 'cool' organs can make your soldiers feel awesome, a waifu back home doesn't necessarily add much to the battlefield experience.

>thought testosterone would be great for fighting
It's one of many chemicals pumped into them.

I'd guess that it's more the brainwashing and indoctrination that kills sex drive, though. I wouldn't be surprised if Marines CAN fuck, depending on the Chapter and particular attitudes, but it's definitely a secondary thing (or third, or fourth, or more likely somewhere around fifteenth) to them. For some chapters, there's no sex drive at all, for others, there probably is a sex drive, but I would be highly skeptical of it ever actually being something that could even remotely influence their combat instincts.

How do they get rid of the toxins that inevitably build up in their body?

It would demoralize the imperial guardsmen knowing that they can never compete

Jesus was white? Top keks user. Jesus was a Jew. Jews are Semitic, The same as Palestinians. Both allegedly descended from Abraham. Who wasn't white either. /pol is that way ->

The Emperor is Humanity's End of Evolution.

Explain how he's anything other than white. or asian

I believe they spit it out through an implanted gland in their mouth.

Cause they're a Pure. PURE!!!! Also they're homosexual in the way the spartans were homosexual. Also the only way they find sexual enjoyment is gulping eachothers farts in an tight tube so they can all hotbox eachother.

If you don't believe any of this its established lore from all the books and therefore canon until otherwise stated.

>Ha ha what a story Magnus!

He is the culmination of our psychic evolution; the end point of the psychic destiny we are approaching. Nothing in canon suggest his skin tone is particularly important.

As to race; he was born in Asia Minor in 8000 B.C. He's some kind of proto-Hattian. I don't believe we actually know what kind of skin tone the proto-Hattians of 8000 BC Anatolia had. Good money is on "light brown".

People who care about who is and is not "white" tend to have answers to "are Turks white?", "are Jews white?", "are Persians white?", though not consistant ones. There is no answer to "Are proto-Hattians from 8000 BC white?" because in real-life it doesn't come up.

The Emperor probably naturally has dark hair and dark eyes and olive skin; which is reasonably consistent with the art. He could probably pass for "white" in the time and places where people cared about that.

My personal headcanon is that the Emperor looks like pic-related. So... whitish?

They can, probably no desire or just kept off the books, they can have sex, as Lukas the Trickster is proof of this
"A near legendary amongst Fenris' womenfolk, Lukas was once famous for sharing a dozen beds in a single night"
Space wolves 5th edition, pg 52

They have a boyfriend.

But he's too busy to visit them and lives in Space Canada. But he totally exists, you know!

Space Canada? When the fuck did we export that shithole off Terra?

"Currently defending the law on Cadia. Keep calm and move on, imperial citizen."

Sweat

>Malcadador, you know I can't tell you that. So anyway, how's your sex life?

>He could probably pass for "white" in the time and places where people cared about that.
I imagine he could pass from europe to india.

Probably brown eyes.
Not sure about the origin of green eyes.
Blue eyes origin apparently from the black sea, but I think that is on the northern side of it.
It's 10000 years ago though, around the emperors birth.
If the emperor was born a thousand years later maybe he could've had two ancestry lines going back to the original blue eyed human and have blue eyes.

They're super-indictrinated walking weapons, that's why.

To give you a reason for creating this thread over and over.

do you think they smell when they sweat

I bet they smell like the emperor

>getting this butt-blasted b/c you are a failed aspirant and forced to become a chapter serf
>Enjoy being a butt-boy for Marines Malevolent, heretic

But that continues with "but after his ascension into yiffs his famed exploits have been on the battlefield yadda yadda"

>Fucking ancient BL comics, which never give his age, supercede codices
>30k = 40k, it's also not like Kor Phaeron was TOO OLD to be a Marine

Man you are a retard.

I seem to recall something in a BL book about them smelling strange, unnatural and chemical, but I can't recall exactly which book.

Canonically they fucking reek of it.

>‘And then there’s the matter of sweat,’ Karkasy said. He sat down on a lounger and put his feet up, settling the glass on his wide chest. He sipped again, grimacing, and rested his head back. Karkasy was a tall man, generously upholstered in flesh. His garments were expensive and well-tailored to suit his bulk. His round face was framed by a shock of black hair.
>Keeler sighed and looked up from her work. ‘The what?’
>‘The sweat, dear Euphrati, the sweat! I have been observing the Astartes. Very big, aren’t they? I mean to say, very big in every measurement by which one might quantify a man.’
>‘They’re Astartes, Ignace. What did you expect?’
>‘Not sweat, that’s what. Not such a rank, pervasive reek. They are our immortal champions, after all. I expected them to smell rather better. Fragrant, like young gods.’
>‘Ignace, I have no clue how you got certified.’
>Karkasy grinned. ‘Because of the beauty of my lyric, my dear, because of my mastery of words. Although that might be found wanting here. How may I begin…?
>‘The Astartes save us from the brink, the brink,
>But oh my life how they stink, they stink.’
>Karkasy sniggered, pleased with himself. He waited for a response, but Keeler was too occupied with her work.