Why would anyone want to be a vampire or be scared of them? They are shit! Look how many weaknesses they have

oh, and i forget the fact that in many setting the vampires - especially old and powerful ones - can just shrug majority of their weaknesses off, if only for a time.

>Sunlight is the big one for vampires
Not really, since Dracula could walk around just fine during the day. He just couldn't use his powers in sunlight, so he was vulnerable.

Yeah, you get some weaknesses.
But immortality, shapeshifting, flight, mind control, and various other powers are nothing to sneeze at.

I dunno we're playing as lower level vampires (in D&D) and our racial abilities are half the reason we've managed to survive at all:

>Heal 1 HP per round
>Cold and electricity resistance 10
>Drain enemies constitution by feeding on them
>Immune to poisons
>Never age
>Dont have to worry about human emotions like lust, love, happiness, depression. Only know loyalty and hunger
>Undead, so all the bonuses that come with that - downside is we can be turned by clerics

Sure, we are weakened in sunlight (-2 to all skill checks and saves) and we die if we fall into running water, but with planning you can avoid sunlight, and we're in a continental area so no worries about water... yet.

The main worrying thing about playing a vampire is that with a decent turn check, a high level cleric could simply make you explode. Thankfully our DM gives us turn resistance, which helps a bit, but we still end up covering and running away should a cleric turn us.

Also I should mention we are playing a kind of custom vampire race, much weaker than your average vampire. My character is actually half vampire, half spider (from the waist down) so it makes for an incredibly stealthy wizard that can silently creep up on the ceiling, send you to sleep, then drain your blood - Lots of fun to play, combined with roleplaying a very dry wit and calmness that comes with being undead and not having "emotions" pretty much everything is mildly amusing, no matter how dire the situation is!

>sunlight

Only in the movies and some of their derivatives. The genre defining pieces, Dracula and Carmilla, lack this.

>headshot

Not the same thing, they're not zombies. You need to stuff the mouth with garlic too.

>bullet

Fuck no. It has to be a wooden stake, usually hawthorn.

>can't cross running water

Save by flying, boats, bridges...

>can only feed on blood

This isn't really a weakness. Most animals and all people have blood, you know.

>allergic to garlic

I wouldn't rely on this unless you're Italian.

0/10 would not hunt vampires with

>>piercing the heart (again bullet would suffice)
only wood

and I think decapitation works for werewolves as well

>The genre defining pieces
In nosferatu the vampire dies as soon as sunlight hits it.

Nosferatu is a movie, and a derivative of the genre definers. It is a subordinate work.

> scared of them?

If someone attacked you, are you telling me you wouldn't be just a little bit scared?

Let's ignore the super powers or the fact they are trying to eat your face. Someone launches out of you from a dark alley, you're not going to be the slightest bit shocked?

>"HOLY FUCK, SUSAN, STOP STALKING ME, I WON'T EVER BE YOUR BOYF- oh, you're just a random vampire. Phew. Please take a sip of my blood."

I would be more scared of a nigger than a vampire.

And keep in mind, Dracula isn't even the earliest instance of Vampire in popular mythology. It's just commonly seen as one of the defining points for the Modern Age Vampires.

Going back we have the shtriga, strigoi, vrykolakas...

The vampire mythos is old as fuck. There is enough material there that you could argue that there is no definitive Vampire archetype, only variations based on time and era.

Is there any variation of vampires which is not totally fucking gay?

Yes, but you also sleep on a pile of guns bought at wal-mart telling yourself that you'll stop those damn dirty libruls and their heathen ways

>"This went a lot better than my attacks usually do."
>"Well we've all got to eat. I donate blood to the Red Cross, you know."

most of them, barring Ann Rice, Twilight and other young adult bullshit?

>most of them

examples? In Dracula and WoD they are gaylords.

>Legends of female vampire-like beings who can detach parts of their upper body also occur in the Philippines, Malaysia and Indonesia. There are two main vampire-like creatures in the Philippines: the Tagalog Mandurugo ("blood-sucker") and the Visayan Manananggal ("self-segmenter"). The mandurugo is a variety of the aswang that takes the form of an attractive girl by day, and develops wings and a long, hollow, thread-like tongue by night. The tongue is used to suck up blood from a sleeping victim.

>The manananggal is described as being an older, beautiful woman capable of severing its upper torso in order to fly into the night with huge bat-like wings and prey on unsuspecting, sleeping pregnant women in their homes. They use an elongated proboscis-like tongue to suck fetuses from these pregnant women. They also prefer to eat entrails (specifically the heart and the liver) and the phlegm of sick people.

>Dracula and WoD they are gaylords.

Dracula the movie, sure.

Dracula the book makes him out like a fucking beast.

Dracula - read the fucking book, don't go by the movie
WHFB - brutal, merciless creatures
Underworld - badass gothic nobility, especially in Rise of Lycans
WoD - depends on bloodline
Legacy of Kain
Caslevania (at least the PC games)
Penny Dreadful
Lost Boys
Disciples

+countless settings where they are just slightly above animals, like 30 Days of Night

+a ton of things i don't remember settings of from a Mammoth Book of Vampires - there was some legitimately creepy stuff. Two of those were actually really scary.

He dies from a fucking dagger.

>Draugar possess superhuman strength, can increase their size at will, and carry the unmistakable stench of decay. "The appearance of a draugr was that of a dead body: swollen, blackened and generally hideous to look at." They are undead figures from Norse and Icelandic mythology that appear to retain some semblance of intelligence. They exist either to guard their treasure, wreak havoc on living beings, or torment those who had wronged them in life. The draugr's ability to increase its size also increased its weight, and the body of the draugr was described as being extremely heavy. Thorolf of Eyrbyggja saga was "uncorrupted, and with an ugly look about him... swollen to the size of an ox," and his body was so heavy that it could not be raised without levers. They are also noted for the ability to rise from the grave as wisps of smoke and "swim" through solid rock, which would be useful as a means of exiting their graves.

>In folklore, draugar slay their victims through various methods including crushing them with their enlarged forms, devouring their flesh, devouring them whole in their enlarged forms, indirectly killing them by driving them mad, and by drinking their blood. Animals feeding near the grave of a draugr may be driven mad by the creature's influence. They may also die from being driven mad. Thorolf, for example, caused birds that flew over his bowl barrow to drop dead. Draugar are also noted as being able to drive living people insane.

I exclusively buy my guns from toys-r-us thank you

He dies from nearly having his head cut clean off with a khurkri and being stabbed in the heart.

You'll find that nearly kills a lot of things. Doesn't make Dracula a gaylord on Twilight scale.

too bad Skyrim draugrs were just slightly more fleshy skeletons Also nothing in your description even indicates vampirism they are a different type of undead faggot.

> nothing in your description even indicates vampirism
>and by drinking their blood.
> nothing in your description even indicates vampirism
>and by drinking their blood.
> nothing in your description even indicates vampirism
>and by drinking their blood.
>they are a different type of undead faggot.

You're being ironic, right?

You do get that the modern idea of a vampire was a process of mythological evolution right? And that the earliest accounts of creatures that would be called vampires/dhampir/wampyr were a weird mix of Vampires/Ghouls/Zombies, yeah?

They still sucked in Skyrim therefore they don't count.

In some vampire mythoi, including the original dracula, the fact that vampires have so many weaknesses actually works in their favor, because to actually do any long-term damage to them, you have to hit them with all of their weaknesses at once. To kill Dracula for good, they had to decapitate him, stuff his mouth with garlic, AND nail the torso down with a stake.

Oh, and all of this had to be done while reciting the proper Catholic liturgical prayers.

>"Look Vincent, it's great an all that you've taken so many Flaw Disadvantages and that you're doing a great job roleplaying the character, but everyone thinks tying them in as the Catch for your Immortality Advantage is a bit cheesy. Even Boris' character isn't that broken."

>decapitation (which means a headshot should also drop them)
Except no, because the head hasn't been severed. You explicitly have to REMOVE the head entirely or it just heals

>piercing the heart (again bullet would suffice)
In original folklore the stake in the heart did NOT kill the vampire, or in some cases even have much of any effect on him at all.
Its primary purpose was to nail the fucker to his coffin so he couldn't climb out.
In stories where it does do anything, it only renders the vampire comatose, because it's heart can't heal while the stake is in. Once removed, the vampire hops back up like nothing happened.

Garlic, similarly, didn't harm them; it was just a disgusting smell that they'd avoid if they could. It'd ward off random attacks because the vampire would take a whiff and decide to go after somebody else. If the vampire's after you in particular, garlic's just going to make him more angry.

And depending on the setting, vampires are also known for having more capabilities
>Highly charming and a seductive
>Capable of hypnotizing people by means of eye contact
>Insane regeneration
>Enhanced scent
>Walk on walls and ceilings
>Flight
>Turn into a swarm of bats
>Devilish alignment

Vampires have many weaknesses, but they sure have means to back up their threat level other than being an humanoid mosquito

Did you forget that a lich will go insane?

Add in that you have to seal the body in its coffin with eucarist wafer dough, stuff the mouth with garlic and keep them pinned with said stake if you want them to stay dead (untill someone digs them up).

Or you can cut off the head, stuff the mouth with garlic, stake them, stuff both sides of the neck wound with white rose petals, burn the body, mix the ashes with more white rose petals, and then scatter the ashes at a crossroads and hope their ghost can't find you.

>decapitation (which means a headshot should also drop them)
>piercing the heart (again bullet would suffice)
Both of these are completely wrong, though. Brain damage doesn't equal decapitation, and you need to pierce the heart with a poplar stake, lead bullet will do jackshit.

You must be scared shitless of Blackula.

Bear in mind that this was also at dawn, and after a long boat ride, his weakest possible moment. Van Helsing knew what he was doing.

>Transformation
>Extreme levels of charisma
>Able to hide vampiric nature
>A gaze that crushes your will and forces you into submission
>Able to propagate infinitely
>Immunity to all known and unknown diseases, poisons, toxins, and so on
>The weaknesses actually have to be known to the opponent

That ending was so great. Things really escalate into such a satisfying climax.

Woooooooo, sick sunlight burn

what a waste of good digits

Everything sucked in Skyrim, that doesn't mean that Norse culture and mythos and dragons all suck.

that didn't even fucking kill him. if you remember the plot hook at the end of the book, van helsing remembered that he had to be stabbed with a stake of Hawthorn to finish it. he was going to go back the following night to finish it.

>decapitation (which means a headshot should also drop them)
Nope it requires separation so anything short of a calibre sufficient to divorce head from body is non-effective.
>piercing the heart (again bullet would suffice)
With a wooden stake so unless you can make a wooden bullet the most advanced tech your looking at is the crossbow.

Dracula was a BAMF.

Jesus, dude. How many weaknesses do humans have and they can still kill you pretty easily. Hell, we've been able to wreck an entire planet.

>silver

There may be a lot of old myths about silver's mystical properties, but it was never a "werewolf's only weakness." That was entirely invented by the 1941 Wolfman film.

>it's not Twilight's fault
Watch out boys, we have ourselves an Edward fan here.

>Dracula was the cancer that actually killed vampires
but before Dracula they were yet another bunch of generic mythological monsters, likely based on real-life disease porphiria (or whatever it's called in english) and had zero redeeming qualities. they weren't awesome. at all.

It's usually presented as a curse and they hide it as long as they can. You'd be afraid of them only because of their ability to Glamor and getting sucked dry in the middle of the night (Heyooooo).

Unlike Werewolfs they tend to kill their wits and therefor not reveal themselves as quickly and explosively. If a werewolf eats 5 kids and strewns their entrails all over the remains of their house, hunters get called in QUICK and HEAVY. If a noblewoman starts wasting away with a strange bite on her neck every few weeks, someone may recognize it and start looking around for the guy that doesn't seem to go out much at noon.

>Running water and garlic are both incredibly minor issues.
Running water is such a big problem that white wolf said that they got rid of it since the modern sewer system would just paralyze every vampire.

Don't they have to try to directly cross it, though? I mean, they can uses bridges, can't they?

This is basically warhammer fantasy vampires, they're cool.

youtu.be/kcvNzUiS4Gc?t=27

I don't think they can use bridges, no

That's because Skyrim sucked

Skyrim was supposed to have vampires that could reach out from under the ice and grab you. But cool lore is too hard to code.

You forgot
>weakness to claymore mines with blessed ball bearings

wow, that's cool. ain't there a mod for that?

>quints
>of 5
WITNESSED

Carmilla and Lord Ruthven both predate Dracula, and they were a lot more gay.

Sorry you have terrible taste in myths and think ghouls are more fun than moral panic stories about seductive horrors.

I'm not entirely sure how it worked in the original myths, but most works that use it as a weakness make it so they can't cross running by themselves. They need outside help to do so. Like in Dracula, he wasn't able to to get up and do things when he was being ferried up the river, he had people that loaded him in a coffin onto the boat and then did the work to move it. Nothing's ever really clear on what happens if they try or if it just acts as a barrier but sort of think of it as they turn back into a corpse when over running water. I think it makes it easier to figure out how'd they overcome it as an obstacle that way.

Meant to link
not

Stoker didn't make them gay, they've been gay since Carmilla started the curse. Thus proving homosexuality is tied to blood and dna

Maybe the fact he couldn't use his powers during the day is because he was focusing on not turning into a small, nondescript pile of ash that would subsequently be stepped int by a peasant.

>let me make something fit my headcanon
>I'm clever guis

STANDING BY!

>forgetting they got no reflection so they butt ugly, cant take care of appearances properly
>forgetting modern vamps might be OCD
>forgetting they gotta be invited inside everywhere

It's quiet common for vampires to only be able to cross running water when standing on soil (or grave soil). If you go with this version then running water in modern areas wouldn't be a paralyzing issue. It might even be interesting since it would mean vampires have to navigate the urban landscape in an entirely different way, avoiding areas where they piping isn't deep enough to be covered by soil.

what if you put a layer of grave soil into your boots?

It would probably leave you crotch vulnerable.

>immortal
I mean obviously not with the whole fire thing.

wait, so all those buggers with uglyass baggy pants that make them look as if they shat themselves are actually vampires carrying grave soil in their pants to protect their scrotums from effect of running water?
my mind is blown

I like to think that vampires DID use to be pretty powerful and ruled men like cattle.

But then they moved out of the stone age and it all got worse from there, now all the vampires are all hiding away because they no longer understand the world around them.

>lust, love, happiness
Jesus vampires must have it fucking drab.

Vampire suicide hotline must be constantly going off.

>Implying
There is nothing wrong with liches, you're just jealous.

t. Lich von Evilwizard

Enemies with weird weaknesses are fun, especially if they're smart and have devised ways to protect themselves.

Also anyone who read Carpe Jugulum will know that a vampire's weaknesses are his strength and are necessary for his extended well-being

nah they dont feel sadness or depression either. Just neutral all the time

that's worse than depression

>Why would anyone want to be a vampire
The funny thing is, that arguably you never become a vampire, no matter how hard you try.
Vampires forego their souls, so basically anyone who goes through great lengths of effort to make sure they can unlock these amazing powers just get booted down into hell while an empty shell goes running around scaring towns folk and feeling rather dapper about itself.

>devised ways to protect themselves

>Paladin holds his mighty shield
>"Now fiend! Bask in the holy glory of the Sun!"
>Vampire just casually puts on sunglasses as the shield starts to glow.
>"What... Why isn't it working?"
>"Sunglasses."
>"No, but it's supposed to burn your skin!"
>"What? I took a bath in like a gallon of sun lotion the moment I heard you beat in the head of the lackey I had guarding the main gate. Do you genuinely think Vampires are this white naturally?"

not really. You have to step outside of your human reference point. You are undead. You dont experience "emotions" as we know them. You simply exist. It is neither "good" not "bad", it just is.

>sunlight
may destroy

>fire
Exactly like all other creatures burn.

>decapitation (which means a headshot should also drop them)
Exactly like all other creatures

>piercing the heart (again bullet would suffice)
Only if pierced by a wooden stake that remains in the heart. Remove the stake, the vampire is able to move again.
Unlike all other creatures where piercing the heart is fatal.

>can't cross running water
depending on the mythology, yes or no.

>they only can feed on blood
Depending on the mythology, yes or no.

>allergic to garlic
Depending on the mythology, yes or no.

you also missed out the ability to change shape, the mind control, the telepathy and assorted mind-reading, the ability to turn to mist, the ability to make others follow them, the vast resources that may be at their disposal, the sorcery, the inhuman strength, the ability to come back from the dead by having blood spilled on their ashes, the ability to regenerate from wounds others would consider fatal, and the fact that they can ignore injuries that would incapacitate any other person.

1/10 effort.