Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: It CAME from THE VOID Edition

Alright, listen up! It turns out that the Ork that tried to kill the Admiral did more than just attack the bridge. He also damaged several key components that the ships machine spirits need to continue working.

The bad news is, the agri world below doesn't have the necessary parts to repair us. The good news is, there's a nearby ship that does. But there's worse news...
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1d4Chan: 1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regiment_designation_Veeky Forums

Steam Group: steamcommunity.com/groups/40k_penal_regiment.

FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.

>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.

>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.

>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.

>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.

>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=MbXWrmQW-OE
youtube.com/watch?v=hnpILIIo9ek
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

That ship I mentioned.... is also a rather large space hulk.

So while the Admiral goes and takes a shuttle to go get his promotion, we're going to board the damned thing with a bunch of Tech-priest and Enginseers. And then we're going to rip and tear our GOD DAMN WAY THROUGH THAT SHIP until we get the parts we need!

Afterwards, the Admiral has given us permission for some shore leave on the planet below.

Are there any questions?

"And what would the worse news be then?"
>Kane says, stretching, with a guitar in his hand
"Also, has anyone seen Eisen?"

>raises her hand
how long until we reach the space hulk
>she looks nervous.

>sits in the mess hall, finishing his book and drinking a bright purple fizzy liquid. He pauses for a moment, and brings out a piece of paper. It is a list, or a chart of some kind. Under "Sisters of Battle", he puts a second tally mark.

Well...
>He'd look motion towards the nearby blast window.
>Within visual sight would be a massive space hulk.

I'm not one-hundred percent sure on that one... you'd have to ask someone on the bridge.

YOU'RE NOT APART OF THIS REGIMENT!!! WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE YOU FILTHY CHAOS SPAWN!!!

GO BACK TO THAT WARP CREATED VAGINA YOU CALL THE EYE OF TERROR!!!

"Piss off."
>He turns to the sister
"Miss Claire, would you know where Eisen i-"
>He stares at her for a second or two, before he closes in and whispers
"The Inquisitor? Really?"

not long then? if only we had some kind of giant clock.

>Sitting on a chair on his quarters.
>Staring at a mirror.
>In complete silence.
>Only the sound of his bionic respirator to keep him company
>He's been like this for hours.

>the glare you get could make even the most hardened Catachan wet themselves.
shut it you.

>walks into the room, book and drink in hand
Ha.

>He'd give a shrug of his shoulders.

My family has had one thats been passed down for over fourty generations. At one time it was deemed to be the planets biggest clock.

>He'd give a small chuckle as he remembers the story.

The story goes, that old Great ancestor Ordenius met a genie that was rather hard of hearing. So when he wished for "the world's biggest hawk." He instead ended up receiving, "the world's biggest clock".

>smirks at Ron and blushes.
how um, interesting...

>He'd glare at the two.
Hey! What are you two whispering about about back there? Can't whatever it is wait until the end of our meeting?

>Kane freezes in place
>After a moment he giggles
"Nevermind then, you have your own mess to fix"
>He continues down the hallway up to Eisen's chamber
>He knocks

nothing! just telling him how he shouldn't lie and cheat.
>her face would go a deep shade of crimson as she kicks the corrupted commissar.

>winks at Claire

>can barely contain his laughter
And what a mess it was.

>is practically dying trying not to laugh

Thanks for finally deciding to show up to our meeting Pariah... glad to see you actually know how to follow orders!

I guess you only decide to "fuck around" when there's trouble "On" the ship!

I don't recall mentioning anything about shore leave, captain. And Kar Duniash is far too far away to take a shuttle.

>looks Malak dead in the eyes
Sorry, I was too busy fucking Claire to follow orders you don't have the authority to give.

>No response

>His brow would be raised questioningly, and he would be silent for several moments before going back to normal.

Well then... if there are no other questions , then I suppose we should discuss how we'll be "inserting" ourselves into the "Black Widow".

"Eisen, darling, are you awake?!"
>He knocks.

>is about to wink back when she hears him talk to Malak.
>her jaw would drop open and she would stare at Ron is shock.

>Again no response

>He sighs
"See me when you're ready, tin man"
>Leaves

>Ron shrugs
Sorry, I'm a sexually open book. Plus, I'm not about to go through all the bullshit that comes with keeping that kind of secret.

>He'd tilt his head questioningly at this.

I-I'm sorry, what was that Ron? I must have been hearing things...

>He'd chuckle nervously for a moment before trying to get the meeting back under way.

I-In any case... uhm-... we'll be "inserting" ourselve either here--
>He'd motion towards a halo of the hulk. More specifically from the backside.

Here-

>He'd motion towards the very front of it.

Or here-

>He'd then motion towards what would appear to be its "bridge".

What do you guys think? I'd like your opinions on this if you don't mind.

>she's furious but remains calm, nodding at him.
I understand.

>Eisen keeps sitting on his quarters as his armor is actually connected to various machines that administer various doses of Stimm.
>He's probably overusing it but fuck it, he thinks, he's on his darkest hour.
>Besides, it brings back memories.

>throws his hands up
Avoiding this shit isn't healthy, people! It's not fair to anybody!
>his shoulders slump
I mean really, I'm pretty sure you guys not reacting is a red flag or something.

Malak...
>she touches his arm gently
Ron and I, we...
>deep breath
we slept together last night, I'm sorry, you weren't meant to find out.

W-what are you two talking about...?
>The young CO would have a rather nervous loik upon his face.

But, Sir! I have your written and signed orders right here!
>He'd hand the man the orders.

If I'm wrong about what it says, then please let me know, Sir!

>Walks into the room in the middle of this
"Oh, did Ron tell you he fucked Claire yet? Also, i need a keycard for Eisen's room"

I never signed this. You have a forger within your regiment. I suggest you deal with it.

>He'd look between the two, after Claire mentions what they had done together during the previous night.
>He'd be silent for a long moment, but there would otherwise be no change in his attitude, voice, it even body language. Hef just continue to remain silent.
>After what would seem to be an eternity of silence, he would finally speak.
I see...

>He'd smile gently towards her.

Please have a seat so that we can finish up here, Sister.

>has locked himself to his room again

>He'd give a swift nod of his head, and a swift salute to the Admiral.

Understood, Sir! I'll look into after we return with the necessary parts from the "Black Widow"!

"That might or might not have been me...I was bored"

a seat? you want me to sit down?
>she'd raise an eyebrow and smile
are you alright?

>makes sure he is armed, and waits for the meeting to be over.

>He'd flash the sister another soft, and genuine looking smile.

Of course I am, Sister. Why exactly wouldn't I be?

>Vox's crackle
"DJ Pete back on the airwaves, how long was asleep this time?"
>fade in youtube.com/watch?v=MbXWrmQW-OE

I think you know why you wouldn't be okay but if you don't want to talk about it we won't.
>she checks over her bolter and smiles at Ron.

>smiles, but his eyes give her a serious look and he gives her a thumbs up out of sight

"SHOOT HIM! DO IT FAGGOT! Also, do you have the keycard to eisen's room?"

>Runs down the halls towards his surperiors, fresh off his patrol

ORKS I FOUND ORKS!

>Out of his mind, drooling from the gaps in his cheeks

>slowly turns to look at Kane
I don't believe I know who you are, so I can't give you access to Eisen.

>returns the thumbs up and blushes slightly.
Orks eyy, last time I was fighting Orks on a Space Hulk I lost a lot of good friends, will be good to get revenge.

>Shouts from his room
Silence! I am trying to do work in here!

"PEEPERS! Do you have the keycard to Eisen's room?"

"Malak will guarantee for me...won't you?"

Now then...

>He'd look over each of the assembled men and woman within the room.

If there aren't anymore questions...

>He'd then switch off the halo of the "Black Widow".

You all have your orders. So let's get geared up, and move out!

DJ pete? I thought that old Dreadnought went down with the Penance!

There's nothing to talk about Sister.
>He'd sound rather causal as he speaks.

It turns out that you love Ron more than me, and that's fine!
>He'd place his hand gently on her shoulder as he goes to leave the room. A rather gentle look on his face as he leaves the room.

He'd nod his head towards the Pariah.

Take care of her Ron.

>He'd then leave the room.

>runs to the bridge, alering everyone on his way

I found..*gaasp*..the vehicle...that..the orks used to infiltrate, its very serious

>Looks genuinely worried, cathing his breath and sweating trough his burns

Not even close, you Slanesshi Chaos spawn!

I'd suggest killing him Ron. But the man has a nasty habit of regenerating after you tear him apart.

Where is it? Speak up private!

Peepers...
>He'd let out a rather loud, exasperated sigh.
We found it a day ago... there was only the one Ork. Now if you don't mind-
>He'd push past the man, a rather serious look on his face.

I need to prepare myself...

love?
>she lets out a bitter laugh
I don't love either of you.

>Ron looks a little confused at the mention of 'love'
It was one night, Malak. That's not love.
>he thinks about Kane for a minute
I wonder what would happen if I touched him...

>Ron shrugs and smiles
Doesn't bother me.

Come with me sir, and take some armed men with you, i suspect that was not the only ork on board

>he raises his helmet and leads off into the depths to the ship, past leaky pipes and after a trail of drips of purple paint leading from the bridge into the other end of the ship to a service tunnel, embedded in it is a nail-shaped ork boarding pod, in the open cockpit are three empty furred chairs with a lot of empty ammunition and explosive crates along with spilled mushroom beer and squig bones

Look, three chairs, one dead ork

>The man would be long gone by this point.

"Tell me, darling...ever considered trying men?

he knows, he killed it himself

Peepers!

>He'd have a furious look in his eyes, as he stares down at the man.

NOT! NOW!

>He'd continue on his way.

>looks at Kane
Yes. You don't look like my type, though.

>Ork kommando Nobby waves to the camera and flashes a toofy grin as the mekboy behind him finishes disassembling the engine pumps and gears with a smashy choppa and a fokkused burna

>the ork goes a wanking gesture to the camera before shooting it down, using the full magazine on his rapid shoota

>He'd attempt to Vox the man, as he makes his way throughout the Herald.

C'mon Eisen... Answer the damn thing...!

>Having just finished offloading the Cryo Tubes with the Assassin Clones onto an Inquisitorial Station near Praetoria, save one specific Clone in one specific Tube, the Quatra Equitis had headed to Praetoria and made landfall on Praetoria.
>All of the crew have been given Shore leave, while the 'hiccup' with the Warp Drive is investigated.
>Alice would be driving down the road to the Estate in a Jeep, presumeably with LIX as well as any luggage the Assassin might have.
So.....we might have a present for you.

"Breaking news, I have just been reliablely informed I was on board a ship that was shot down and now I am on one which isn't. The facts of this story are coming in fast and I will update you all as soon as figure out the date."

>Fade in youtube.com/watch?v=hnpILIIo9ek

>just so happens to be nearby, on his way back from the ship's library
Oh, Gork. What was that? Eugh, and just when I was going to catch up on my reading list...
>goes to investigate

"Oh darling"
>He drags his finger along Inquisitor's chest
"I made Slaanesh shake. What about you?"

Such noisy blasted... Again with the firing drills? although it is more distant than usual...
>Picks up an injector and leaves for the morque

I'm a blank.
>he leans in real close, unholstering his gun and shoving it into Kane's gut
I'm more than Slaanesh could handle.

Nobby: Hur hur, deyz know now

Gearsmasha: Roight, misshun dunn, lezz go kill da humies!
>He revs up his burna

>they leave to gut some humies
Nobby: Oy! whooz you? Were'z Ram-Blow?

>Another stimm dose goes in and Eisen dreams on.
>On real life, he's sitting before a mirror staring at the abomination he's become.
>On his memory though, all he sees is his younger self early on his carreer
>The Cackle on the vox reminds him of his first times as a radio officer, at the Tyberian Vox control center.
>He'd answer on real life. Still inmersed on his memory.
>His voice coming rather sluggish.
Radio Operator Eisen... Hearing you in clear, sir.

>He moves his finger to Ron's chin
"You got big balls, do you have a dick that size?"
>He chuckles

>stops in his massive armoured tracks, and slowly looks at the Kommando
Zog.
>he clears his throat
'oo do ye think yer talkin' to, ya git?! I'z gonna krump ye good 'nless ye tell me wot's goin' on 'ere!

>A big smile draws over her face.
You remembered!
>She'd bring out a wrapped present from her bag.
Happy Anniversary, honey! A whole realspace year together!

>a small click indicates the safety is now off
I thought I said you weren't my type. That information is for those with high priority clearance only.

Rolled 6, 10 = 16 (2d20)

>They look at eachother
Gearsmasha: 'Ez got flashy armer
Nobby: Loot?
Gearsmasha: Yeh

WAAAAAAAAGH (x2)
>They both attack the meganob at once in with their choppas

+++++++++SHIP+++++++++
>slowly drifts to a halt, with its engines damaged

Radio operator...?
>Hed shake his head, thinking he must have been hearing things.
Eisen... you know I hate it when you call me, Sir! But that's besides the point. Where the hell are you dammit!? We need you for the upcoming mission! It's not like you to miss a briefing!

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>choppas will do nothing to mega armour, I mean really. Orko looks down at the Orks trying to bust through armour that tanks have trouble scratching with choppas
Zoggin' gits, you'z gonna scratch me paint!
>we swings at them with his power klaw angrily

"Mmmhh..."
>he moves his hand slowly to his pants
>Feels around and takes the keycard to Eisen's room
"Nothing impressive"
>Leaves

when I first made the post, I had assumed the first ork had already taken out the engines.

>Callidon extracts some cranial fluids from all the corpses and fills several small vials with the liquid

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>Nobby misses completely, while Gearsmasha manages to burn a tiny hole trough the armor, skorching the meganob a little

>They both dodge the slow klaw

Gearsmasha: WAAAGH!
Nobby: Zog it Gearsmasha! Iz gonna get em myshelf!

>The mek charges his burna for a big attack
>Nobby attacks again, emptying anther magazine, this time into the meganob at close range

Ram-Blow cut off the ship's ability to call for help and its senses, so the other two could sabotage the engine undetected, leaving the ship weak and still, for the boss to kill, he is coming...

>Alice pulls the jeep over to the side of the road and puts it in park.
>Alice accepts the present with a curious look.
I wonder....what do my Praetorian eyes see......

>Still bery sluggishly answered, sounds insecure:
I'm... At my... Post...
>No you're not. You're not a young man anymore this happenned long go, you know this.
>His mind would drift again to the past, not so far this time.

>The tyranid hive ships looked much more menacing from space... He had to make a choice, plug in the reqjest of the admiral and be deemed a pariah forever or...
>There is no or...
>Good soldiers follow orders.
The Inquisition is recieving on the main channel sir.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>the large nob grunts as the bullets ping off his armour (again, this suit can get shot by tanks and stand up, you're gonna need to roll higher to hurt him)
You'z bit off more then ye kin chew, ye grots! I'z da biggest Ork in the secta!
>he stomps at Nobby, slicing the air with his klaw again

>is glued to the window looking into space, fixed on something in the distance

They are coming...

>Kane bursts through the doors
"Tin man! How's your miserable existence?"

>He then returns to his quarters with the vials and locks the door after him

Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>Nobby gets nicked on the chest, but its no deep damage, as he rolls back

Gearsmasha: BUUUUUURRRNNAAAAA
>He unleashes the full might of his kustom burna on full charge into a thin tounge of intense SKORCH

(+5 for charged attack)

>There is a pair of mordian dress uniforms... And... Dogtags?
>No, not dogtags, a necklace that looks like so with the names Alice and Sam carved on it.
I know you like uniforms and girls on one so I got one for you and one for me.

>Having finally made it to the armoury. Malak would begin equipping his Carapace armor.
>But he would stop when Eisen had finally responded.a rather concerned look on his face.

Wh- what the hell are you talking about Eisen? Where are you right now!

he better not be at soup!

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>the flames whoosh into Orko's face, scorching the skin under his helmet and pissing him off
I'Z GONNA MASH YA INTA PASTE!
>Orko swings again, and the kustom blasta on his right arm begins charging

and it also explodes XD

>is in the armoury choosing a bolter when she sees Malak.
everything alright with Eisen?

His is concerning. Private, I am seconding a unit of armsmen to you. Take whatever weapons you need and find the ork saboteurs.
>the armsmen take Peepers to an armory with an impressive array of shotguns and melee weapons, including a shotcannon
that's like a shotgun version of an lmg.

>Alice notices that LIX's tag says 'Sam' and not 'LIX' and can't help but chuckle.
Appropriate really. Will go well with what we've got cooking....