You sign up to a war campaign to fight "orcs", or so you were told

>You sign up to a war campaign to fight "orcs", or so you were told.
>When you arrive to the battlefield, you realize you misheard and the Mad Duke hired you to slaughter "auks"
What you do?

As long as he's sane enough to pay me it's all good.

You also misheard "Gold" as "Mold"

Welp, apparently it's not extinct here.
Let's get started.

I'm a fighter. I've got a bastard sword.

This is not an ideal loadout for killing small birds.

Best get down to Auckland, then.

It's going to be a red Auktober.

Fuck it, same pay for lesser risks!

>tfw "wenches and ale" turns out to be "trenches and mail"

...

the joke was about words sounding identical, not words sounding similar... oh fuck it

>auk and orc sound identical
The joke is about words sounding similar.

they are both pronounced /ɔːk/
unless you're Scottish and cram an R in their somehow

Orc has an r.

it's obviously silent. like overwhelming majority of Rs after A and O in English

almost everyone puts an R in there

Everyone pronounces "Orc" with an 'r'.

Welcome to English where the rules don't matter and the pronunciation is made up amyways. Orc is pronounced with an "r". If your are still convinced you are right, go unearth Tolkien and take it up with him

except the orc = auk joke is straight outta Tolkien's letters
also, feel free to check pronunciation on wiktionary or anywhere else

>overwhelming majority

I don't play dice with language. It's pronounced how its pronounced.

Are you declaring that English has been the abductor or aborter of the abhorrent orgy of 'r' after 'a/o' sounds found in other languages?

At least it's not Emus.

An artfully orchestrated original sentence.

yes

also, yes, I do pronounce only one R in that sentence - in "abhorrent". all other are silent

...

>Ae you declaing that English has been the abducto or abote of the abhorrent ogy of 'r' afte 'a/o' sounds found in othe languages?

Vocaroo or didn't happen.

i like you

oh, and declaring. silly me.

but yeah, more or less

ah you declaring that English has been the abductah or abohtah of the abhorrent ohgy of 'r' aftah 'a/o'...

I really need a Vocaroo of you saying this as the other user suggested. I'm not even calling shit, I just want to hear what this sounds like.

seeing as i'm currently at work, it ain't gonna happen for a few hours. but if thread survives 'till then - sure, no problem

Are you from Boston?

>t1 Sol Ring into Null Rod

Origin. Organ. Ornament. Orb. Orion.

Area. Ark. Army. Arm. Arlen. Arbitrate.

Can you name some word (there it is again!) where this rule ever applies, 'cause I can't think of any.

all, except Origin, Orion and Area, 'cos there the R goes before a vowel, and is a part of a syllable

How the fuck do you pronounce:

>Organ. Ornament. Orb.
>Ark. Army. Arm. Arlen. Arbitrate.
>Word

'Cause that makes no fucking sense if you're using a silent "r" in those words. Like get on voocaroo and fucking try it.

You're either lying, or fucking French. Or something.

>You're either lying, or fucking French. Or something.
He is not French.
We pronounce the r in those word (the french translation when applicable and the english word)

At least he's fucking something

The French skip H, not R.

so do British, sort of.
after all, "witch" and "which" are to be pronounced identically

First is a mad duke, second his English is terrible. Nobody said the Mad Duke had to be an English native speaker.

Third, is a mad duke, for all you know, he thinks those things are orks.

Fourth pronunciation jokes are horrible and you should feel ashsmed of yourself.

That's blatantly Auktistic

Eh I'll fire over their heads and claim to be a bad shot.

Fuck off, we're full.

>orc, auk, and ark are all pronounced the same

This is why I do my best to learn the proper pronunciation of words. That way, anyone who doesn't sound the same of me because of their "dialect" is objectively wrong and any attempt they make to defend the way they speak can be met with condescending laughter.

... I just realized that I sound like an asshole. But at least I'm right.

wait, the first two are oh-k, the last one is ah-k, no?

All those have Rs pronounced you silly brits

'roʊtJk 'æksɛnts ɑr ə θiŋ, ænɑn.

ˌnɒnˈrəʊtJk ˈæksənts ɑːʳ ə θJŋ, ænɔːn.

I don't know what the fuck you said, but I know you're mocking me.

Asshole.

No, it's or-kh, aw-kh and ar-kh.

As a brit, I can tell you now that OP is a braindead mong.

English accents are fucking stupid, everyone understands and accepts that.

There's no need to try and bring everyone else down with you. Fucking limey tit.

Shit just got real I guess. Better get grandpa Arcanus' "special" spells.

open up google translate, type it in and click the speaker button
there might be more than one speaker to choose, the one I had had silent "r"s

Where do you live because it's pronouncing the Rs for me.

Who are you, you strange man? Is english not your native language?

REVEAL TO ME YOUR SECRETS, STRANGE BEING.

Clearly you mean Bahston

>ork, auk
>pronouncing the K
flippity flumping clapfats