What was the best magical item you've ever inherited/earned/received/stolen/bought/gifted in game?

It's okay, the Inquisitor was a radical [s]filthy fucking heretic[/s]

I've had this absolute monster. The upper one.

docs.google.com/document/d/1qmlirkC2iCoc0bfwgrwOeZf9fVT1rUoLx5cGjAlhBHI/edit

A Stopwatch of Retcon. Forgot to ask the Duke for payment? No we didn't.

Power pole extend?

Cornered in a dungeon, low on hps, rest of party unconscious and convincing a bunch of bad guys to surrender by screaming at them while threatening a portable hole and bag of holding implosion.

What? No super fast cloud familiar?

My friend and I created(something resembling) the Caster Pistols from Outlaw Star in our Shadowrun Game. The most OP shell was the black hole shell. We ended up accidentally an entire crowded freeway overpass in Denver when we were running from mercs hired by Aztecnology to kill my character.

I got what I thought was magic c4 in a low level campaign.

It turned out to be a horseshit bomb.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed back in that town, but they'll be talking about the failed execution for a while.

This sounds amazing.

The massblade.

It was a longsword you could mentally issue a command to to change its total mass/density without altering the volume.

Once flung that fucker at a gelatinous slime, wound up cratering a mile deep.

A teleporting, dimension-traveling, indestructible taxi cab.

Spam? You once used that sucker to pole-vault out of a wizard's tower, right?

A sentient sword. Inside it lived the soul of an elf who had been killed by drow. He happened to be a blacksmith, and a very proficient one, so when he died he managed to stick himself in the blade.

He did this because he wanted to kill the shit out of some drow. My character happened to be in a line of business where killing drow happened pretty regularly. The two got along fine.

Whenever we weren't killing drow, the GM would send me messages to the effect of:

>"Why aren't we killing drow?"
>"Are there any drow nearby?"
>"I heard your cleric sniffling. Probably drow poison, we should go kill some to be sure."

Eventually the relationship kind of mutated from mutually-beneficial annoyance to actual friendship, and culminated in the sword basically wresting itself out of my character's hands to take a hit that would have killed my character, destroying the weapon.

This happened, of course, during a battle with the drow. Because fuck drow.

I want something to blow me randomely...

haha like sex

A crown that lets me take a disguise of the person/thingy the person before me wants the most (it seems like different things to each person from a once dead mother to a lost love). Imagine what bar brawl started when I used it with my horny impulsive rogue.

Lucky Symbol of Torag
If my fighter prayed for 20 minutes a day, he was allowed to declare one of his rolls as a nat 20, once per session.

CS gas grenades

The mace of greater defecation.
Anything struck with the mace begins to uncontrollably shit itself for two turns, becoming stunned (save ends) and taking poison damage (save ends).

it was a hilarious piece of novelty / interrogation tool until we encountered a giant spider; the moment the mace was swung, the game paused as we started to ask poignant questions about the digestive system of a spider.
The discussion ended when the DM made an executive decision: The spider began to fill with shit until it exploded, everything in the area taking damage form the shrapnel and poison damage.

The DM decided to veto the thing after a golem, a squad of skeletons and talk of finding the mighty Tarrasque.

Three from a current campaign:

Orb of Slope Detection
Place the round, stone orb on a surface and speak the command word. The orb will now roll in the direction of the slope. A different command word makes it roll uphill.

Goggles of Blindness
Putting these otherwise normal looking goggles on will make the wearer blind.

Wand of Boats
My personal favorite. Once per day launches a large rowboat as if fired from a crossbow. Unfortunately, crossbows are notoriously bad at firing boats. The boat can comfortably hole 8 people and lasts for 1d4 hours, at which point it vanishes. The caster does not know how long the boat will last.

...

A ring of limited wish (at will). It was basically the McGuffin. BBEG wanted it so he could find a way to upgrade it into a ring of wish (at will) by binding and torturing a shitton of genies.

It was still 3.5, so you can imagine how bamboozled our martials were when we had to destroy it at the end.

Currently my Dwarf Paladin found a ring that basically makes you blend in with the environment when you stay still against it.

Found out the effect while I was leaning against a wall in an inn and the DM said that the party noticed I was missing from the room when I was right there.

The deck of one thing has the three of clubs.

When Penn and Teller do a card trick where they force you to pick a card they chose without you realizing it, it's always the three of clubs. Partly this is a wink to their fans but they say mostly because the three of clubs is more visible to the audience.

Nice little touch.

A coat that magically provided food and water from the pockets and converted into a magic tent. Not the most powerful item in existence but absolutely perfect for the character it was given to.

The Deck of Many Useless Things

It was like a Deck of Many Things.

Except every thing in it was patently absurd in its own right. One card got the party a visit from 'Ted the friendly specter', one gave the 'Wand of wish I knew where that guy I went to high school with is right now' and another had one character spend a few sessions being followed by an invisible narrator man only he could hear, who would narrate every single thing he did.

The Cloak. That was it. That was the name. Found it sitting alone in the corner of some overgrown mountain a long time back.

It was nothing but a normal, non-extravagant deep blue cloak. Its only power is that it was absolutely impossible to sully or destroy, by any force ever tested against it.

>Woodie, is that you?

Spear +6 which automatically converted every hit into critical hit in 3.5.

A ring of visibility would actually be really useful for a party Face.

I once created a magic dagger from an otherwise ordinary mastercrafted dagger.

Basically, it was a running joke that every 10th attack (not counting misses) would be a Natural 20. Always. It happened 8 times in a row, and the last crit was against a powerful demon.

The DM upgraded it to a +2 dagger of preparation, where every 8th attack that hit, would automatically crit. It was pretty great, mostly because our DM kept magic items very rare, and I kinda like the concept of keeping a weapon, rather than replacing them all the time.

Bag of molding could be a lifesaver in low magic campaigns where wound infections were a thing. Any food in the bag wouldn't be edible, but could be used to prevent wound infections right after combat.

>Woodie
What the fuck. You don't translate names and nicknames, user.

>bag of molding
>place it over someone's head
>remove bag
>mold will have completely covered their head and killed them

Boots of levitation that only levitated you a couple of feet above the ground with no ability to move forward.

My gnomish wizard simply fashioned a rowing staff out of a tree branch and he boldly rowed forward, hovering only a few feet above the ground.

a blank magic ring
after our group fought through a demon labyrinth and lost our cleric we found a magic ring with no powers attached to it. So we spoke what we wanted it to do and it would gain that effect.
the problem was to reset it back to neutral we would have to go through the labyrinth again.
So we set it to resist dark magic and left

>only their hair got moldy
>they need a haircut

>put a bowl of milk in the bag of moulding
>get a bowl of cheese back

>user doesn't know how cheese is made

A pair of magnets possessed by a gay orc and a straight elf respectively. The elf seduced a maiden the wizard had a crush on and thus cursed him to an eternity getting ass pounded by an orc.

They're just two coin sized disks that behave as would be expected of small magnets. Entirely mundane.

But people, generally fascinated by magnetism, will invariably pull them apart and let them clink back together. Pass it to a friend and they'll generally do the same. Until the group gets quickly bored of the novelty and puts them in their pocket.

Eventually forgotten and lost on the side of a road somewhere for the cycle to repeat with a new group.

Shifting Tiger Spear.

A +2 Spear that can assume the shape of any monk weapon.

As an action I could swipe it around me and every creature within 5ft had to make a Dex saving throw or take 1d6+Dex(or Str) mod slashing damage.

The DM was really generous with this even if it was a lvl 12 campaign.
Played a Death Monk 11/Life cleric 1.

A shapeshifting sword.

It was a weapon that would respond to the will of the wielder and transform into near any object. While its base form was a sword, it could turn into any other weapon the wielder wanted. It could even turn into non-weapon objects for easy hiding, like clothing or other inconspicuous stuff.

The catch was that there was a chance of it getting "stuck" in a chosen form, leading to some embarrassing moments with the guy dramatically brandishing a hat or a necklace.

A gemstone containing the afterlife of my Religion.

Two shields of spell reflecting
Our wizard managed to fire his spells between them as a way for infinite storage, just turn both shields towards the enemy and see how they deal with three months of magic missiles at once

That's not how mirrors work but it's fucking magic so what do I know.

Are you sure?

The wages of sin. Thirty silver coins that become irresistible to anyone but the holder if twirled and displayed. The fascination fades but for a moment they'd risk their life to have it. Spending it or exchanging it for any personal gain curses you fatally.

Controlled molding?

You have to separate the curd from the whey.

Amulet of Water Breathing.

Instantly fills your lungs with water.

My character was a water genasi.

FLYING NIMBUS!!!!!

years later and this still irks me

So this is what being triggered feels like.

I'm not even complaining about the physics being fucked in this
but shouldn't the yellow chick be missing her feet now? the angles suggest she was in the way of one laser and they melted through fucking steel so why is she not on the floor unconscious from extreme pain and missing both feet?