You discover a sword that allows you to win any fight that you're in

Fight the sword

Gonna fight the GM nigga.

What if my character has multiple personalities and picks a fight with themself?

Be more specific. Are you talking about actual combat or an effort. Can I win the fight against evil? Or can I only win fights against evil people?

>sword is indestructible
>universe implodes

Become a god.

Fight reality and the non-existence of my waifu

Assuming I can't do something "clever XD" like declare war on poverty...

Get filthy rich fighting in tournaments.

That lich that slapped our shit three sessions ago and then fucked off? Yeah, that motherfucker's getting his shit pushed in. I don't care if he has a shit ton of phylacteries, I just want to pay him back for last time.

i pick a fight with death

strap on my scabbard and head for the next Freedom From Religion meeting at the local library to pick a fight

I destroy it. No good can come of something that powerful.

Does the sword scream out in angry outbursts like Randy savage?

Then I fight everything.

Guards attack me for approaching the king
>"I'm gonna snap you like a slim Jim Oooooh yeaaaaaah"

"Macho sword..I have cancer. Can you help me fight it"
>"I'm gonna give cancer an elbow drop from space ohhhh yeaaaah"

the sword isnt indestructible. it only just has an effect where if you fight with it, you're guaranteed to win

op here. actual combat

Win every fight he's in. Duh.

Do sneak attacks made against me count as a fight?

...Kill the Unholy, then chuck it into the Marianas Trench. Whats a fight without the risk of losing?

I decide to fight myself to see what happens.

>Whats a fight without the risk of losing?

Proper planning.

Hey, it just guarantees winning, not coming out of it without any injuries.

>Does this mean holding the sword while in a debate will help you win?

See, but that sounds boring.

I'm going to get injuries regardless. If I'm not winning on skill, then I'm not really learning anything. There's no trial or tribulation there.

Does the definition of "winning" include surviving a year and a day afterwards?

That depends. Is it just a really, really good sword, or is it some kind of magical effect?

If it's the former, it'd just replace his rapier.

If it's the latter, he'd start researching how it works.

Fight against myself.

I'm a dwarf in a city filled with humans and their petty feudal wars. I would probably take every noble house and then invite some dwarfs to my city.

>>Does this mean holding the sword while in a debate will help you win?
If you start swinging it around

Apparently win every fight he's in.

no, you only win the short term fight. nothing more, nothing less

I fight myself.

OP here. let me just make this CLEAR for all of you IN CASE YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND

the sword isnt indestructible. you can only win PHYSICAL fights with. thats all. these fights can only be temporary, no long, drawn out years long struggles

you cannot fight abstract concepts

kk? kk

also, you cannot fight yourself

It took too long for this answer to come

Fight evil, then when my time comes, use magic to seal the sword where a legendary hero destined for good can retrieve it in a mystic temple as prophesied. Repeat ad infinitum.

But can I fight the sword or not, faggot?

no

take the sword and carry it with me always. Never use it.

why?

because you fight with the sword

Challenge all the gods to fight him at once.

meant for this

You never said that nigger, you just said it lets me win fights, I can fight your mom with my dick and win without the sword's help.

you cant fight the thing thats helping you win the fight against it, retard

Prove it.

imagine taking the sword, now imaging using that sword to fight the sword

is that good enough for you?

I break him the fuck out of the game and let him run loss in the world. You've doomed yourselves.

Do I have to use the sword to win the fight though?
>Does it work if I attack people with the flat side of the blade?
>Does it work if I punch people with the pommel?
>Does it work if I punch people while holding the sword in my other hand?
>The same, but hanging from my belt?
>in my home, hanging from the wall?
>if I dropped it in a ditch?

you just need to use the sword to fight. thats all. doesnt work if its sheathed or not with you

If the metal of the sword is melt to produce rings or brass knuckles, will it work ?

What if someone attacks me before I can draw the sword though? Won't I lose the fight then? What about quickdraw duels?

Ask if they have any in dagger form

Start an argument on Veeky Forums.

I encase the sword in a stone, bind that in blessed silver, and cast the stone into the void between worlds where it will be carried by the aether to planes that always were and never will come to be.

I do this even before I bother to identify the sword.

>Do sneak attacks made against me count as a fight?
Interesting point. By definition a 'fight' must "the exchange of physical blows." If your opponent takes you down, without you ever knowing that they were there, before you have a chance to strike back, then it was not technically a fight.

Become the once and future king.

I fight the man who cannot be defeated.

He'll throw the sword in the sphere of annihalation because the DM just made the game super boring.

Just a theoretical

This
youtu.be/IzUT-1kX254

Did a sword touch you in a bad place?

I master the Art of Cutting, and seek the Throne Domain of Kings.

>allows you to win any fight
>by a given definition of "any" and "fight"
was this sword created by wizards or lawyers?

He beats his disorder.

In our party is a fighter who was a dick to me at low levels. So every time we come across a weapon that pings as magical, I cast it into the void rather than let him have it.

Everyone else in the party is some kind of caster, so we don't need them.

Reach heaven through violence.

op here. now i know what its like to be a GM

a menagerie of suffering

That was such a great series.

I love how in these images the reactions aren't just delight or disgust. They're implausibly weird sometimes, like that dude who looks like the Roman version of the party epiphany guy. What the fuck kind of women are these, cursed?

Can I fight the establishment? That's people as much as it is ideas. Or the law?

Take a really abstract definition of "fight" and become a professional gambler.

Honestly OP, I think you're just too boring for Veeky Forums. The outside the box answers are what makes this place.

Goes into a fight against saitama

I give the sword to a peasant kid and fight him until I beat him, then I will have transcended it's magics and be immune in the future.

Fight the ungodly hordes of Demons, Devils, and Daemons, find evil gods and smite them, and conquer the cursed lands so that good may once again flourish.

Or maybe just use it to get loads and loads of money, I dunno.

How are we defining fight?

I charge to the nearest news studio and make horribly racist/sexist/homophobic remarks on national television, thus picking a fight with the world.

Throw it away because a fight where I can't feel the threat of imminent death or the thrill of fighting a worthy opponent isn't a fight at all.

No, fuck off, you defined your blessed item poorly and now I'm going to fight evil and win.

Find that Magretor fuck and get back my thirty gold, plus whatever interest he owes me.

Oh. And stop him from destroying the world. No point in getting my money back if he obliterates existence.

fight against self until sword is no longer needed

We all know /pol/ would stand beside you.

I will fight your definition of how the sword works and then fight all abstract concepts until the world is a utopia.

I fight the concept of a sword that makes you invincible.

Kill all immortals/undead then kill the sword.
And if we are taking an abstract definiton of fight and win, he'd get the sword to do it for him.

...

KILL
SIX
BILLION
DEMONS

>Develop an eye twitch.
>I can't USE it because I don't trust myself to use it responsibly and not abuse its power.
>Also, it seriously might cause me to develop a Saitama complex.
>I can't LEAVE it because someone ELSE might find it, and I trust THAT even less.
>Sooo... I take it... and retire the character.
>Because this sucker is very clearly a great big red flag to the entire campaign.

>Itt: Retards who purposely misconstrue a very simple premise.

>Welcome to Veeky Forums