ITT: Bad fictional armor

Mined by dwarves, crafted by elves.

>doesn't provide any leg or head protection at all
Fun fact, protecting your squishy tummy bits is generally considered top priority.

Mithril is magic.

> It's the elves fault
Bilbo's maybe? And even then - he gave what he had.

Your brain is in your head and your only way of reproducing is between your legs.

How about well done and fitting the time period armor?

So it IS a non newtonian liquid.

What are the limits.

>platemail
You said platemail, your argument is invalid.

I think part of the point was it was meant to be concealed.

Torso armor and helmet are and always were top priority, m8. Too bad for your dick, but that'd be really bad luck to get it square in it.

Head is #2. You don't need your dong.

Ok, I'll wear a breastplate and you wear a helmet and a codpiece and we'll see how that goes.

You can apply real world physics to a fantasy movie/story as much as you'd like, but I don't see much of a point.

So, you wouldn't wear an armor unless it's full armor?

>ITT: OP spergs out over a fantasy book, turned into a movie. Neither of which were written with gritty realism in mind.

whats next, going to bring up the fact that platemail in arthurian legrnd is historically inaccurate?

I'm quite attached to mine.

I'm more attached to living than to my dick.

It's almost as if the armor was... fictional.

>magic in a fantasy setting needs to follow an explicit clear cut set of rules that the reader has to study before reading the book.

Why not both? I thought the point of this line of conversation was that you need your head, torso AND groin covered.

You're right, my bad. It's been awhile.

Welcome to Veeky Forums, where we bitch about everything and anything.

>platemail
You said it again!

Armor's expensive, gotta have priorities.

Head tends to be harder to hit and a strike to the genitals isn't anywhere near as fatal as a strike to the chest. There is a reason basic armour has always consisted of a breastplate and helmet, even modern soldier who wear body armour don't cover everything, they protect the most vital parts so they don't have to be weighed down.

Suspension of disbelief.

If physics aren't consistent in a movie/setting it throws me off. I don't care if they're unrealistic, but I'd prefer that they'd be consistent.

Id think we could accept the vague mythological fantastical nonsense of a book thats on the wrong side of being centennial and understand that most people dont care that much about the realities of armor.

nevermind which period LOTR or the Hobbit takes place in and what armor would look like

Okay, the physics are perfectly consistent. It's magic armor that responds the same to attacks every time. It responds because it's magic. That's how it works.

That's literally the only answer necessary.

They did say it was magic, but it is clearly shown to be supple. Might stop the blade, sure, but not impact force.

and what term should I be using? nevermind that the proper term for 'chainmail' is just 'mail' but we call it chainmail thanks to god knows how many years of crappy historical research

Maybe it hardens in response to excitement.

Well then maybe I need to give less of a shit about the internal physics of a movie then. Go figure.

Some things are just harder for me to keep my immersion unbroken I guess.

Please quell your autism.

Why would elves make extremely expensive baby sized armor for midgets?

Having new terms for armour in the present is useful for distinguishing armour types against other types.

Have you considered not talking about a subject if you don't know how to use the correct terminology involved in it?

Plate armor. Plates aren't chains bro.

how do you know? its magic. it protects ypu. are you literally so autistic that when magic armor does its job and protects its wearer you need to disect the entire sequence of events to see if it follows the physical laws of our universe?

its magic, it does what it needs to, and it didnt even act inconsistently

Well the movie kind of blew it, but in the book he didn't get stabbed by a giant troll up against a pillar, he got stabbed by a Goblin.

you're an idiot. Its called platemail because a proper suit of platemail is made of armor plates harnessed to a suit of mail. plates over chain. plates to guard against concussive force, chain against stabbing force.

if you dont have the chainmail then you have shitty salvaged armor.

Again, please control your autism over one word.

honestly the the movies are absurdly inferior to the books in every way possible.

I don't operate under the immediate assumption that magic solves everything in any given setting.
I think you're a little triggered.

To be certain, I love the setting, but I can't get through the books. The writing feels disjointed and it boggles my brain.

Then it is plate armour on top of chainmail generally just called plate armour.

Your daily reminder that plate armor doesn't exist in Tolkien's writing, and mail is the best that anyone has.

Plus, you know, everyone (besides Gimli) travels without armor, and only puts it on when they know they're heading for battle. This shit is travel-wear, not battle armor. And it's lightness and concealability is perfect for that.

What was the best armour in the films? I thought the Minas Tirith guards looked well protected.

no ots called platemail. you are wrong. you will always be wrong. please turn in your nerd card you're banned from nerdshit forever.

That's why it's silly to call some genuinely amazing armor "bad."

A mithril shirt is one of the best pieces of armor you could get. You could even wear it underneath your other armor if you wanted to.

>I can't read the books.
then stop talking about tolkiens works. Themovies exclude vital plot details and change events and characters.

you dont like the world youand you clearly wouldn't like it if you actually enjoyed reading books since you're clearly too autistic to accept basic concepts like magical armour

If mithrill so undestructable why sauron didnt made a net around mount Doom entry to keep occasional ring carrying hobbits away? Actually a brick wall will be enough. Why there is no brickwall on the entrance to the thing that can kill you?

The links of mythril mail are structured in such a way that the angle of their linkage to their neighbors can't exceed a certain degree without the entire shirt locking up. The only exception this is along the seams, which fold, allowing the shirt to lie flat. However, the seam connections are also structured such that if there is significant curvature in most of the shirt (i.e. it's being worn) the seams will not fold. Al combined the shirt functions like a solid object if struck from the front or behind.

he had no hands

He's just an eyeball.

Yeah, you're triggered.
> its magic, I aint gotta explain shit.
> muh tolkien is infallible, how dare you suggest anything in it is less than perfect.

I know the setting well enough, and I don't use the movies as a base. I just don't spend a lot of time on literature.

>breastplate and helm from renaissance plate
>roman-style shoulders and skirt
it's an odd mix but maybe it would work.

Because he liked to go to Mt Doom to do magic, and inconvienent obstructions would get in his way. Remember, Sauron never thought anyone would actually try to destroy the ring.

At least in the books, he wasn't impaled on the wall, just pushed against it. (Although pretty hard, he's badly bruised from the impact and is carried around for most of Moria, and is still hurting almost a day later when they're fleeing to Moria, badly enough that he's having trouble breathing.)

>Chainmail
It's chain armor or mail bitch. Chainmail translates to chainchain.

Think of it like a point blank force field. The spear basically just disintegrated when it hits it, with no energy conferred to Frodo.

It's also basically a shirt. I'm sure there was a full set of it at some point, but even then you'd wear it under something like indestructible underwear. Bilbo only found the one article though, so Frodo has to make do with only his center of mass being indestructible.

This is neat. What would happen then if he was thrown from a building and impacted only on the shirt?

So there IS a consistency, thank you.

Why didn't frodo just fly to mordor on an eagle?

Show me actual reviewed historical references that actually refer to platemail. You know textbooks, reviewed academic journals, respectable history books. Plate armour always had mail under it, calling it platemail would be like a suit a collared shirt, jacket, and tie ensemble. We don't call it that because it is intuitive that when someone says suit they mean the pants, tie, shirt, and jacket, not just a naked man wearing a jacket.

No it wasn't. It was forged in the Lonely Mountain by Thorin's people. It fits Bilbo because it was sized to fit an elvish child.

>It's another "If they're not wearing full plate they might as well be naked" thread

>single piece of armor doesn't protect whole body, thus it is bad.
I bet you think helmets are worthless because they only protect the head.

The eagles weren't thralls, didn't feel safe around Mordor to begin with, just as likely to eat him if they were in a bad mood, only helped gandalf at all because their king owed him a favor or something

Eagles dont actually happy with all that sauron and ring destruction. While ring is exist some magick still in this world and so are elves, treants, eagles and other paranormal shit. With ring destruction all that gonna fade away with time. Also elven rings keep elven kingdoms beatifull and ethernal, with one ring destroyed probably all elven kingdoms disolve into just wild forest and all dwarws just became poor.

Frodo had the best armor any fictional character can hope for - the plot armor. Everything else was just for the show.

Honestly the breastplate/tassets look closer to a lancer's cuirasse than anything. The spaulders are definitely medieval, not Roman, as well.

And he kinda became gay and died. Well not literary but still. Gay and died.

where's KM these days anyway?

>why didn't Earendil come on Vingilot, when he could take the ring from Frodo and drop it to Mount Doom from the orbit?

Would Mithril stop a large caliber bullet?

Why didn't Elrond just kill Isildur by pushing him into the lava?

He can just live ring on stable orbit so sauron can never reach it, and noone ever gonna find it like ever.

>For some retarded reason they were too cheap to trick him out in full platemail.

Plate doesn't exist in Middle-earth.
They hadn't invented it yet, mail was as good as it got.

I'd have to go digging through all of Tolkien's letters to find an exact quotation (and I'm too lazy atm), but I know Tolkien stated that if he tried, Isildur was stronger than he was, and would have probably won a fight between the two.

Plus, although he doesn't mention it, Isildur's got the One Ring at the moment, and Elrond's got Vilya. Having the Rings of Power makes you weaker, not stronger, when trying to deal with someone who has the One.

Sauron would recover his power even without the ring, eventually.

Your a retard he got it from bilbo who got it from dwarfs, who made it for a prince, who's daddy never paid his bill

>your a retard
>your

Why didn't he pay the bill?

Elrond isn't a warlike sort of guy, so I can believe it. Like many of the elves he COULD fight but it wasn't his preference.
Men were consistently more warlike.

What is the point of living without your dick?

>platemail in arthurian legrnd

All I've read is hauberks and helmets in the stories. I've only seen plate armor in illustrations.

Why did he take the ring to a battle against motherfucking Sauron?

obscene amount of petting

Stop making up such blatant lies user.

Unending well of knowledge to know and use it on Veeky Forums to prove your better then other guys.

He disliked empty slots and he wasnt a fucking minmaxer, thats why,

In the books it was a goblin chieftain, described a lot like a particularly vicious Uruk.

In the books this is actually true. No one is ever described wearing plate, and overall the tech level seems to be about 11th-12th century.

Couldn't the Nazgul just fly up and fuck their shit on their wyrm gimmicks and take the ring off their corpses?