So you want to tell me what [WARHAMMER 40K] is all about?

So you want to tell me what [WARHAMMER 40K] is all about?
(I'm going to be in a Rogue Trader game in a few days, and I need a summary of the WH40K universe.)

Other urls found in this thread:

1d4chan.org/wiki/Warhammer_40,000#Background
wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Galaxy
wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Imperium
galaxy40k.com/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

War and skulls

cool

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left
'Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that
Even my Apothecary thinks that my mind is gone

But I ain't never crossed a heretic that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a hero, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how ya talking and where ya walking
Or you and your cult might be lined in promethium

I really hate to trip but I gotta purge
As they croak, I see myself in the bolter smoke, fool
I'm the kind of marine' that little scouts wanna be like
On my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the church light

Been spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise
Keep spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise
Been spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise
Keep spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise

Look at the situation they got me facing
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the Angels
So I gotta be down with the hood team
Too much pict watching got me chasing relics

I'm an educated fool with purity on my mind
Got my sword in my hand and a gleam in my visor
I'm a purged out marine, set trippin' zealot
And my brothers is down, so don't arouse my anger, heretic


Death ain't nothing but 4 heartbeats away
I'm living my life do-or-die, uh, what can I say?
I'm two hundred twenty three now, but will I live to see two hundred twenty four?
The way things is going, I don't know

Tell me why are they so blind to see
That the ones we hurt are heretics and xenos

Been spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise
Keep spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise
Been spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise
Keep spending most our lives
Living in a Astartes paradise

Power and the relics, relics and the power
Decade after decade, month after month
Everybody's purging, but half of them ain't lookin'
What's going on in the chapter? But I don't know what's plottin'

Thats 40k

The glorious demigod Hero of humanity was crippled in a rebellion, and demonic and alien forces constantly seek humanity's demise.

Humanity worships this god-hero and feeds him psychic power to keep the manifold enemies of their race at bay, while remaining vigilant against witchcraft from within.

Zealotry and cruelty are common, but necessary to survive. You're basically an Imperially commissioned privateer/frontiersman/trader or a member of their entourage, so you're the least connected to the main themes of WH40k.

God was born into flesh and everyone knew he could do anything, but he didn't want to be known as God. He pulled invisible strings while humanity slowly expanded, and when he finally revealed himself it was to save us from the aliens that would threaten us. Now he's immortally sustained on the golden throne and looks over us all in the warp. When nature is brutal and cruel he guides the psykers with his Light.

Never lose sight of that Light, wherever you may be in the cold annals of space, and may the Emperor always be with you.

Catholic Space Nazis Fight Aliens.

Have you tried 1d4chan?

Who else heard Weird Al's voice while reading this?

Play a feral ork the pcs pick up so you play someone who knows exactly as much about 40k as you do.

Nigga, that's where I went to by default.

>assuming I haven't listened to the parody an order of magnitude more times than the actual song

PRE HISTORY
>bunch of psychics combine to become the emperor
>emperor is a human with the psychic power of a god
>guided humanity from the shadows
>was litteraly jesus.
>eventually, humanity is technologically advanced, but they enter the age of strife.
>age of strife is technological dark age; humans have technology, but don't know how to reproduce it.
>eventually, Emperor decides enough is enough and decides to come out and lead humanity

HISTORY
>Humanity's destiny is to conquer the galaxy
>Emperor makes the primarchs and the space marines to do htis.
>chaos gods scatter the primarchs
>Emperor says 'fuck it' and conquers the galaxy while looking for the lost primarchs.
>this goes well for a bit, until Horus - arguably the greatest of the primarchs - becomes seduced by the powers of evil.
>half the primarchs join horus, to conquer the galaxy for chaos
>after a civil war, the Imperium wins, but Emperor is fataly wounded.
>put on the golden throne, which sustains his life at the cost of 1000 sacrificed psychics every single day.
>oh, and without this, the emperor would die, leading to the complete distruction of earth and making warp travel literally impossible.

NOW
>imperium has basically entered another dark age like the age of strife.
>lots of technology that can't be reproduced, and inventing new technology is literally haram.
>as a rogue trader, you're basically a pirate/trade prince because once upon a time the emperor told your ancestors that you're allowed to have a trade monopoly on products on the fringe of galactic controlled space.
>being a rogue trader is like pic related

This should help you, OP.

screencapped for posterity

That's a tall order OP. You're going to need everything you can scrape up, and it'll still be just barely scratching the surface.

Like other anons have said, it's so far in the future that pretty much all the history you and I know has been forgotten. Humans expanded across the galaxy, and then everything went to shit and all progress was knocked back millennia. One hero, The Emperor, pulled everything back together, and right as he was on the brink of success, there was a civil war, half of his military deserted, and huge chunks of progress were again lost. Now everyone's trying to keep things together, the Emperor is a religious figure, and his Imperium is run by ignorant fanatics. Nobody knows how any of the technology works, they just follow instructions and say a prayer. Literally, they pray that their stuff will work. Humans are expressly forbidden from contacting any alien race, and people toil away their lives supporting wars that happen halfway across the galaxy on planets that they've never heard of. Rogue Traders get to be the exception to these rules, as they explore, travel, and make war on the Emperor's enemies pretty much however they choose. Only once you realize that nothing in Warhammer 40k makes any goddamn sense, will anything in Warhammer 40k start to make sense.
And the fanbase is worse than the fanatics in the game. Good luck!

>War and skulls
Also sometimes spikes

Here's an overview of the setting: 1d4chan.org/wiki/Warhammer_40,000#Background

A general overview of the galaxy: wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Galaxy

The Imperium of Man: wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Imperium

>Catholic Space Nazis Fight Aliens.
And demons at times

and other catholic space nazis who worship demons

Also, here's a site that lets you physically explore the universe, and also contains some good lore:
galaxy40k.com/

To put it succinctly.