ITT: we pretend to be boomers and old farts into trading

>"Dang, buying these bonds for $150 a piece guarantees me a 2% return in 5 years!"

ty just bought 100k bonds

I sure love investing in assets with slower growth than inflation.

did you here about these new fangled email bonds? I here that WWW bonds are being mined like coal. I watched a story about the world wide web money on a website called www dot youtube

tulips

damn I just got gold just in case we go bacm to using gold in 200 years then I can by myself a beach property

>Nice! 20% return from these oil shares I bought on the 90's

Listen here sonny. I'm about to give you some advice that will wipe that smart-alec smirk right off of your face. You think your cryptos are so hot? It's called a damn ponzi scheme. You're young and see these big green numbers and think oh I'm gonna be rich, well you're just getting suckered in by it. First they make you feel like a winner, then they raise the stakes and take it all... the classic run, suckers like you fallin for it for hundreds of years. Your little tulip-mania "bite coin" ain't different. So once you grow up and stop playing with your collectable arcade tokens, I'll help you set up some bonds that will see really good growth 4.5% yearly growth once they hit maturity in 15 years. Then you'll be making real money, not losing it all in this chuck-e-cheese ticket scam you seem so hot about.

>the fuck is an internet?!

ahyuck ahyuck I knew this land would be a good buy, I done got me some GOWWWLD

10/10

>"If you invest well and watch your spending, by the time you are 70 you'll have hundreds of thousands of dollars! Just think of what you could do with that."

>"I let my money manager handle everything. He's really good, beats the market by 1% every year! On track to retire by 85."

>tfw you are paying a bunch of money in fees to be invested in a bunch of things you can't name in order to not even beat inflation because everyone else is doing it.

>"Son put your money in a bank cd. Get a nice 1.5% return in a year."
>tfw you make this in crypto in seconds sometimes.

>"I accidentally withdrew 10 dollars from my retirement fund in my 30's which screwed up everything - now I'll never retire."

You only make that if you cash out.

keep em coming

this. Fucking young ags. Invest in bonds!

>because everyone else is doing it.
So much this

>tfw you are waiting for the interest to compound

>Nobody can beat the market son, you just have to keep buying index funds! 5% a year is really something one day!

Actual multi-millionaire here...this is all
I do. 60% VTSAX/40% VWIUX and re-balance when it gets out of whack. 2017 turned off $90k in dividends + an investment gain of almost $400k. And I have 5 bitcoins that I paid $550/each for.

2017 was the best year for markets in the history of markets and you barely made enough to support a upper middle class large family
what are you gonna do during downyears?

I want to fuck Alzheimerschan

I have a real job too and so does my wife. Dividends always get spent, gains always reinvested. I've had this going since 2003...if you think 2017 was good, you should've been around for 2009. Investing easy; have patience, re-balance at the highs & lows, never sell until you reach your number.

"This dang ol' bitcoin nonsense reminds me of tulip mania when I was a young noble"

>When i had your age i had 5 children and a house bought at my name
Of course you did i am living the economy you ruined with poor stupid decisions

I was mining BTC back in '09
iirc it was about the same time I was jizzing up inside your mummys dried up old twat with chad the neighbour...
your a bit too fucking late, you little cunt.

Post your dream Toyota Corolla when you finally make it

i got a pair of flip flops only lightly used..
did I make it?

>t. filipino