Player accidentally rolls dice onto pizza

Throw out the pizza. Throw away any contaminated dice. Politely ask everyone to leave. Stand in the corner facing the wall contemplating the transience of life until nightfall.

You're just jealous Bruce's penis is more feminine than yours.

What have you got against paradise fruit, user?

Clean the slice.
Eat the dice.

Sorry I can't hear you around all the cocks in your mouth Mr nofun lala lulu homo man.

Thousands dead?

Pineapple is the finest of fruits.
Fruit doesn't belong on pizza.

Weep, for another die has fallen to the Pizza Gods.

So why do they make pizza sauce from tomatoes and tomato paste?

Explain tomatoes.

>tomatoes
>literally Exception: The Fruit

For the same reason you don't put tomatoes in a fruit salad.

It may fit the definition of a fruit, but for all intents and purposes, it's a vegetable.

Because they're botanical fruits, but culinary vegetables.
We're talking about cooking, so we're going with culinary.

>botanical fruits, but culinary vegetables.
So it's a tranny of sorts?

> Not enjoying the salty/sweet tastes of pepperoni and pineapple.

The hell is wrong with you?

if tomato is fruit
and potato is vegetable
what is pomato?

Olives, then.

>Clean the dice.
>Eat that slice.

This user knows what's good.

Maybe he has never found the lifechanging combination of pineapple onion bacon pizza yet?

I prefer cherry or campari tomatoes. Still adds a bit of sweetness and contrast with savory and spicy flavors, but it's more of a 'sure thing' for texture.

You people need to be taken out back behind the chemical sheds and fucking shot.

I will smash your infant children against the killing tree myself and I'll make you fucking pick the milk teeth from the bark before you die.

The pomato fruit (the red bits) are still fruit & veg, the tubers (the potato bits) are just veg.

"Fun" fact: Eggplants and pumpkins are also both fruit and vegetable.
Pepper too, and those are obviously great on pizza.

>Pepper too
Derp--meant 'peppers'; that 's' makes a difference

user, when did the psychiatric ward get wifi? It's ok you can tell us. We won't let the doctors know you have access, promise.

A sin.

>implying pineapple on a pizza tastes like anything except pineapple
maybe i want to taste other elements of the food, user

Oh, they know.

They're just too scared to do anything about it.

Internet badass right here.
I,want to be just like you.
Teach me your ways.

You got a shit bucket?

Great, another modron lost to the protean wastes of limbo.

> I wont i wont, eat green eggs and ham!!

No food at the fucking game table.

eat the dice?
Yeah, eat the dice.

You think I'm rich or something? I paid for the pizza that fucker just dropped dice in.

Actually, peppercorns are also a fruit*. They're just fermented and dried.

*Except, I believe, pink peppercorns which are, if I remember correctly, something different. Or they might be a different species. I forget. Oh, and Sechzuan pepper is actually a flower bud.

Objectively wrong.

Just eat the splice.
The extra condiment is your penance.

>bell peppers, olives, banana peppers, chili flakes
>literally you fucked up

Disregard possible faux pas. Clean dice. Eat slice.

Apples go well in sausage.
Maple goes well with bacon.

The idea that fruit/sweet and savory shall ne'er mix is a blinkered delusion of little minds.

...

>Lift slice with corresponding dice
>Eat the slice and the dice
>Pause game for whatever length of time necessary before you shit out die
>Clean, dis-infect and roll to resume your session.

You motherfucker

...

He must eat the pizza slice.
DICE.
INCLUDE.

MY PENIS IS THE FEMINIST.

make a bad pizza roll pun and then roll again

>Maple goes well with bacon.
disagreed

as a LEAF I definitely like maple on many things, but I hate it on bacon. Bacon doesn't need extra flavoring. Bacon is better as a bachelor.

Impractical.

Those are greedy plants that require extremely rich soil to get any decent harvest to say nothing of the skill needed to graft something with such a watery stem.

Also it's two plants Frankensteind together so nothing changes. Tomato remains fruit. Potato remains vegetable.

>In all seriousness, what does proper decorum demand of a man here?

GET ON THE BIKE

TIME TO D-D-D-DUEL

But what if the player was rolling multiple dices and accidentally scattered them all over the pizza? Disregarding his stomach's potential capacity, he can't very well eat it all since it will make everyone angry.

Then his only polite option is to offer his fellow players his dice.

Hara Kiri

I take it you dont like peach and pear pizza with grape sauce and dried mint?

>absolute pleb

My group always orders a pineapple pizza and it is always the first to go. I dont understand all the hate it gets its pretty good :^)

This is how I Chaotic Evil.

It's a meme, user.
A witless line perpetuated by people looking for a lazy in-joke without application of personal or genuine shared experiences.

Not really, scientific and culinary classifications are completely different things. In scientific classification there's no such thing as "vegetable", it's purely culinary distinction.

Well, we know who's buying the next pizza.

...

I once rolled a die with conviction. The thing bounced and landed in the DMs wife's cleavage.

He declared it a nat 20

they're his dice so I don't care. he's not getting any other pieces til he eats that one, though, because I know for a fact that fucker doesn't wash his hands.

I've had pineapple pizza and it's revolting. I'd rather eat my own sick.

>onion
>with pineapple

Jesus christ, pick one, onions do not work with fruit, ever. pineapple and bacon yes, but not onion too. it's like you don't know what flavour is!

Okay man, but I'll hold you to that if you and me are ever trapped in a lift for 48 hours with nothing to eat but a pineapple pizza.

Because I'mma be on that shit like Donkey Kong.

Not that user, but Onion powder goes pretty well with fruit.
Onion also goes well with anything in sauces or broths.

>it's two plants Frankensteind together
But user, that's the best part.