In an effort to make the fantasy races more distinct, I've decided to assign new reproductive systems to them...

> Making dwarf child.
> Accidentally say fuck i forgot the name right at the end

and so the dwarvish lord of the mountain "Fuck" was born

Yes, elves are literally fruits.

Well, they do share ancestry with the Goblins.
Perhaps Troll reproduction takes longer and require more meat - which the Troll-parents provide, either by hunting and killing things, stealing livestock/babies, or, if they are desperate enough, their own flesh (as they regenerate). Mind that the parents who do it the desperate way might go all out and exhaust their own regenerative powers, and die as the first meal of the hungry Troll-baby. There are unconfirmed reports and hearsay about the resulting Troll - either they become the meanest, hungriest Troll around, or they become stunted, and eat less.

Ah yes, the hidden legend of King Fornica.
>Him, and his parents insist that Fornica is named after an ant, Formica, but that his parents misspoke the word
>Only they know that Fornica is not his real name
>His real name is Fuck
>Euphemised as Fornication

All elves are actually Golems.

Advice: Look to the animal kingdom for inspiration

>Dwarves spring up from holes in the ground.
>Goblins claw their way out of a giant puddle of muck and slime.
>Elves are pollinated by bees.

Elves are created by a small council. Each Elf in this council imbues a portion of their essence into an inanimate object, eventually this item will turn into a newly born elf, with a portion of the life essence and experiences of its numerous parents. Typically, the more people involved in the birthing of an Elf is better, as less essence is taken from each individual. Should a lone elf decide to birth a child, the procedure may well kill them and leave a withered husk. All Elves take on the properties of whatever item was their 'host', great warriors have been born after a weapon was used.

There are two big no-no's however. You don't use stone, because that makes runty little dwarfs. The other is a living host, because that makes goblinoids. Dwarves have managed to refine the process somewhat, and spawn new young into a ready made vessel. Those that wish to sire young submit applications to rent a birthing pod, which is in turn one of the pillars of the Dwarfish economy. Small statues are made from many different cuts of stone and gem, enforcing the strict caste system that the Dwarf empires have lived in since time immemorial. Miners and craftsmen will instil essence into stone statues and recieve a child as rough as the material they were hewn from. Aristocrats and Royalty will be born from statues of solid gold and silver, with a brain studded with gems that dictate the dwarfs destiny, or so craftsmen claim.

Bands of goblins will kidnap travellers, roadwardens and isolated farmers and use them as sacrifices in profaned rituals under misty moons. Any man unfortunate enough to undergo this ordeal will be wise to kill themselves beforehand, as their body serves as a conduit to a shadowy realm where malice takes form. These wicked thoughts invade the body and twist it, stunting its posture and poisoning its thoughts, with skin as green as envy and eyes that see the world in red, a newly formed Goblin howls at the moon.

>Dwarves
Dwarves are sexless creatures (albeit resembling and acting like short human males), a reproduce solely via fission.

Upon preparing to reproduce, a dwarf will enter into a deep meditative trance and find a flat piece of ground on which to lay, spread eagle.

Over the course of a week, the dwarf will split down the middle from head to groin, and the missing halves of their bodies will grow in, until the new brothers are fully formed and as fully grown adults.

As the dwarf's brain was split down the middle, one brother inherits the father's personality, and the other inherits his knowledge. The first year of every dwarf's life will be spent either developing their own personality and view of the world in deep retrospective meditation, or in unbridled curiosity learning all that they can about the world.

porn when?

>Elves
Elves reproduce similarly to humans, except for the fact that they can naturally bear chimeras. Elven mothers will assimilate and combine the genetic material of many fathers and store it within themselves; forming ovum out of not solely their own genetics, but instead out of there's and a single mate's. In essence, the "father" of an elven child is the chimera of many elven men, while their "mother" is the chimera of their mother and their "true father". This also has the effect of the ovum sometimes having XY chromosomes, and the successful sperm being YY, leading to three elven sexes; female (a quarter of the population), male (a half of the population), and the usually more physically imposing of their kind, greatmen (a quarter of their population)

A elven child's "true father" is almost never known, leading to communal childrearing. It is a rare occurrence that an elven child resembles their true-father so closely that there is no doubt, and in that case they are taken under their true-father's direct and sole guardianship.

>Goblins
Goblins are sexless like dwarves, but rather than splitting one into two, they will instead split many into many.

When winter comes, roughy half of a given goblin population will enter hibernation, forming a large pile while their waking sisters keep them safe. As winter progresses, a hardened cocoon will form around the hibernating goblins and they will melt away, much like a butterfly would. As genetic material freely flows and mixes, compartments form in the cocoon (usually 10 per mother goblin), and infant goblins will begin to grow within these. Depending on the position of the mother goblin in the pile, the brood formed from her may be comprised of dozens of other goblins, just one or two, or perhaps even be direct clones of herself.

In some Goblin societies the Chieftess will be separated from the rest of the mothers should she fall to hibernation, only for her daughters (perfect clones of her) to fight for the right to lead upon reaching adulthood.

Some Goblin societies have even taken to husbandry of themselves, secluding themselves by caste, strength, or role as winter approaches in order to refine their particular blood.

Ooo that's a really cool one

That's frankly a really stupid idea.

I guess a bard has an entirely new set of difficulties now.

Especially the gross shit like Fig wasps and Eyelash mites.

Just gonna toss out a little more cultural/societal ideas based on this.

>Dwarves
Due to their simple and obvious method of reproduction, lineage and heraldry are exceedingly important to dwarves. Many know their exact ancestry leading back nearly 20 generations, and will often know who exactly their cousins are to up to the 5th degree. Because of the way knowledge and personality propagates through dwarven generations, cities will often striate into clans and sub-clans based on a common ancestor, leading to ideological segregation.

It is not uncommon to find dwarven settlements and colonies populated solely by the descendents of but two or three dwarves, often with extreme tradition compared to the more cosmopolitan cities which were founded by hundreds, maybe even a thousand dwarves. Regardless, tradition and thought changes slowly.

There is a taboo tradition in most dwarven societies that is extremely shunned, where two newly formed brothers are locked in a room together and given no outside contact. By the end of their formative year, these two Dwarves will be extremely similar to each other, almost perfect copies in mind and body, and almost indistinguishable from their body. It is considered a disgusting form of immortality, and as such it is a highly ingrained tradition that two brothers must separate from each other immediately if they are without fellow dwarves.

>and almost indistinguishable from their body
from their father*

shamelessly stealing this, it's good.

I like it but would greatmen just be burlier dudes?
I like the idea of a third gender but supermen isn't that interesting or elvish.

Maybe not burlier, but definitely more "Elvish".

Normal elven males might be fairly tall, around 6 or 6 and a half feet or so, but also have somewhat (no more than normal elves) feminine features.
Greatelves, greatmen, Ent, or whatever you want to tall them could be proper giants; 8 foot tall, thin and lithe with whiplike muscles and an exceedingly masculine but angular face.

Spores and shit.
Babies get made in a big, dusty spore orgy (Sporgy?) and everybody leaves pregnant.

are you going with magical means of reproduction or do you just want to spice up their sex lives?

make them have a cloaca for example, let them lay eggs or throw in some alien ripoff. dwarfes bursting out of elven chests would be hilarious and it would explain their bad relationships.

underrated post

>if you swallow a dwarf's beard hair, a dwarf slowly grows inside your stomach, laying for months, even years as an uncomfortable but small mass of hair and flesh before suddenly expanding into a fully grown dwarf, bursting from your body. Screaming, hairy and naked

Tbh I prefer the idea of hyper females instead, and it could be the cause of Elves being seen as so feminine.
Perhaps YY is male, XY is female, and XX is super female. My guess is it'll work out that XX can't reproduce by themselves, maybe they can put their eggs into XY who can do the whole chimera thing.

>I prefer the idea of hyper females instead
Of course you do.

Maybe something like this instead.

>the ovum is formed by the combination of YY gametes and XX gametes, always resulting in an XY egg
>the sperm is formed from the combination of XY gametes, resulting in either XX sperm, XY sperm, or YY
>of all possible combinations, about 1/2 is XY, 1/4 is XX, and 1/4 is YY
>elven family is comprised of a few females (XX), a few greaters (YY), and many lessers (XY)

>elven family is comprised of a few females (XX), a few greaters (YY), and many lessers (XY)
Isn't that the exact same as ?

Close, but more refined. It also gives an explanation for the exact population distribution.

>Elves
You ever wondered why elves all look pretty similar? And you can't really tell the genders apart?
That's because there is only one gender of elf and in a sense only one elf.
You see elves have one of the oddest 'breeding' process of any creature. In times of plenty and peace all elves in a settlement will begin to gorge themselves and rapidly put on weight. Their normally svelte forms becoming grotesquely bloated.
Once sufficient biological mass has been reached they will all move to a central hidden area where they will form a collective fleshy cocoon around themselves.
Once the cocoon is complete it's occupants will liquefy into a biological slurry and mix together.
It is important to note that at this time all the memories and experiences of the elves that went into the cocoon also mix.
Over time the bioslurry will form back into elves the extra mass being utilized to form additional bodies so that about 40-70% more bodies emerge than went in. All of the freshly 'birthed' elves are mentally adults and in fact posses the memories of all that went in.
This is also where the myth of elvish immortality comes from. Their individual bodies are in fact not that long lived but their minds can persist indefinitely.

that's terrifying, tbqh

>all animals procreate by fucking or laying eggs
>except dwarves, goblins and elves
OP you are dumb

Then I have at succeeded in at least one of my goals.

...

...

...

...

Dwarves have the reproductive scheme of bees; the queen and her consorts customarily stay in their fortresses (hives) and the bearded "men" seen outside are actually the non-reproducing females.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

>Orcs,Goblins,Hobgoblins,Trolls and other greenskins

When a greenskin wants (or is forced) to reproduce, it screams it's head off until it's skin looks like the search results for trypophobia. The seeds then pop out, are planted in a special incubation farm, and grow into a form of what a 10 year old boy should look like for their race. They already know how to speak their common, their language, and what role they will fill for their entire life. Depending on the area of where they were planted, more of one type of greenskin will emerge. Sometimes Tieflings will pop out, and they are either banished, eaten, sacrificed, or just killed for shits and giggles. No horn heads allowed in our horde, dem's da rulez.

...

...

...

And that's it. I hope this helped a little.

And perhaps two or three of these actually have something different as far as reproduction goes. The rest are mating rituals and things-one-of-the-mates-do-afterwards.

I'm sure glad Bernie Sanders didn't win

Fucking Nature and it's magical realms, never playing with this DM again.

Having studied animal behavior and evolutionary biology I can say with absolute certainty that when it comes to reproduction there are no breaks on the weirdness train.

Then how would inferior males like you ever mate? :^)

He's probably a sneaky submale that mimics females in order to get to females within a dominant male's territory.

...

These don't even get into the weirder shit with insects that impregnate their unborn sisters and shit like that.

Elves are actually a weakened, non-contagious mutation of the Werewolf curse. Pointy ears, more pointed facial features, taller, and an affinity for the wilderness. It's not contagious, and would have died out, except that Humans find Elves very attractive and can't stop fucking them.

The afflicted are nearly sterile requiring an uncursed human to produce offspring, and the curse is passed to the unborn baby. The Elves being aggressive about "forbidden" territory is actually reverse-psychology scheme devised by the Elven High council to draw more humans in for one night stands to keep their birth rate up. The victims are then "allowed" to leave with their lives because of "true love" between them and warned to never return. Enforcement of that is real, by the High Council, to prevent any outsiders from staying long enough to figure anything out.

Inferior males don't have ANY problem breeding by those examples

bump

I once had the idea for a matriarchal orc society in which orc women had the ability to turn off their reproductive system, meaning more primal male orcs couldn't further their line if they didn't play nice. There was an elder orcess council and the society otherwise ran similarly to steppe nomads.

Sounds neat. You could also take some cues from elephants if you wanted to push that gender divide.