A wizard curses the kingdom so everyone becomes fat

>A wizard curses the kingdom so everyone becomes fat

Other urls found in this thread:

health.clevelandclinic.org/2016/02/sugar-vs-fat-which-is-worse-for-weight-gain/
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Yeah, right. It's a "curse". Whatever you say, fatty.

>263 grams of sugar
Jesus.

>(tomorrows paper)

"Wizard cured anorexia!"

>Wizard: "That permanent Good Publicity spell was the best investment I ever made. Now to burn down an orphange and fuck the Queen's ass."

But user, it is a curse. A terrible curse put upon them by the dark spirit of Jur-net-ikz so it couldn't possibly be there fault.

>mfw I actually worked at a Baskin Robins during my teens
>I actually fed people this
My god, what have I done

>wizard cursed people to switch heads with their pets

>a wizard blessed the kingdom so its shrubbery grows pizza

Considering the kingdom's peasants were starving by the hundreds of thousands for the last 3 years, this is truly a blessing. Thank you, glorious wizard!

May the gods bless the wizard!

Funny.. Couldn't they just break them by standing on them?

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WHY IS THERE THIS MUCH TABLE SALT IN A FUCKING ICE CREAM PRODUCT

Quadruple sixes?

Wizard saved thousands of people from starving. Becomes the loved Sorcerer King.

Ummmmmm, lowers...the...freezing...point...so it...doesn't melt as fast? I guess?

How does an Oreo Blender Blaster have 1/3rd of the Calories in this? Like it's not healthy either, but it's a far cry from this monstrosity.

Least it's a good source of calcium and iron r-right?

>2600 calories in 32 fluid ounces

Jesus fuck, I didn't think calorie density that high was even possible. Was this the result of some military experiment that got leaked to the civilian public? Like maybe they were trying to invent some new energy bar for special forces troops that could keep them fed for days despite only weighing a few ounces?

Solution:
>Don't eat stuff where the fat and sugar content is measured in hundreds of grams.

I don't think you can get a good cheeseburger without at least a few hundred grams of fat though

Could I eat this and nothing else over two days and still be fine?

Only if you're buying the ยข75/lb %25 fat stuff.

>A wizard curses the kingdom so everyone becomes fat
>Everyone gets +2 CON as a result
>Thinfags get BTFO by the Big Men kingdom in a war of attrition

Everyone would actually get -2 DEX and -2 CON due to being fat means you are also a lot heavier and more susceptible to diseases.

>Big Men kingdom

Serious guess: It's so they can cram more sugar in without people vomiting. More sugar means a stronger pleasure response. Again, pure fucking guessing, but fast food places do a similar thing with burgers.

>the players are tasked with finding the last vegetable so that the world may be saved before everyone dies of clogged arteries

>A dark wizard curses everyone to be an awful chef

I actually had one of these things and drank it in one go. Ended up vomiting it out due to stomach issues.

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What the FUCK is he doing? He's ruining the meat!

The queen loves getting fucked in the ass, she's a shameless butt-slut ever since her husband died.

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welcome to Veeky Forums

You know that making blatant expy of real people is bad sport, yes?

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That shit is fucking RAW

80/20 chuck makes the best burgers though. I only make them twice a year, but goddamn

Fat's not that much of a problem. We only think it's unhealthy because the sugar industry funded propaganda against it.

Don't like joosy burgers?

>t. blob of fat

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I made an expy of someone? I was just having fun with insinuating the fictional queen loves butt-stuff.

This thread is wildly un Veeky Forums so i'm posting everything I have until its gone or i'm done.

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t. retarded amerifat with HFCS-bloated brain

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>Another wizard comes along and converts the fat to muscle and bone, turning everyone in the kingdom into a Big Guy
>Peasant revolt because they can no longer fit in their homes

Heh. I'm the sort of guy that can eat basically whatever he wants and never gain weight.
In the defense of everyone else, what I want doesn't add up to too much food.

How do you know that's not just meat-and-dairy industry propaganda?

>HFCS

Sir, are you referring to CORN SUGAR? We've had numerous commercials airing over here in the States insisting we call it CORN SUGAR.

STOP

NO

Do the big guys have to wear masks now?

People who say this are not eating nearly as much as they think they are.

While fatties never realize their stress snacks count on those measurements.

That one by the way is a particular favorite.

How. How is he not dead yet.

That one is too actually now that I look at it.

>Max CON
>Minimum WIS

Jack's is awful salsa.

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I probably weigh less than you.

Well if you consider that the obesity epidemic coincides with the widespread availability of cheap HFCS, I think it should be pretty obvious. Modern people have access to "low fat" everything, but it doesn't help because we replace all that fat with extra sugar.

health.clevelandclinic.org/2016/02/sugar-vs-fat-which-is-worse-for-weight-gain/

The dairy industry /might/ be exaggerating the benefits of milk, and the paleo fags /might/ be going a bit overboard with their noble savage fantasies, but the corn industry is literally the devil.

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wtf I hate food now

>That fucking webm
I know someone who's going to be shot if he ever enters Texas.

Wow. This has to be illegal in some states, right?

Oh god, he looks as disgusting as his cooking does.

Or if he enters north carolina. We take bbq seriously out here as well.

>Was this the result of some military experiment that got leaked to the civilian public?
I'd play that game. Like Delta Green, just replace lovecraftian horrors with Fast Food.

Who the fuck is this guy, what is his deal, and where can I read more about him than you care to post?

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>HFCS is unhealthy

What did he mean by this?

Real talk though, the issue is NOT corn sugar, the issue is poor exercise and genetics. What we need is not to stop growing corn, but to encourage exercise and inform the public on the dangers of overeating.

Cooking with Jack show on youtube. A terrible chef who has strangled his joke into unconsciousness and made jokes about it.

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This is just so wrong.
Of course you can lose weight on a diet consisting solely of sugar. This does not make it healthy.
Sugar, if not in moderation, has adverse health effects.
This is not even up for debate anymore in any scientific debate.

So he cooks badly on purpose?

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I'M ENTERING THIS MAGIC REALM, SUPER SATAN.

No. Yes, sort of. he doesn't think it's bad cooking. But he is cooking badly.

Say goodbye to Jack, and after this a few one off food webms I have.

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>using "corn sugar" unironically

In any case, corn's fine. HFCS, on the other hand, is an abomination for many reasons, such as:
>It's less sweet than sugar, thus requiring a greater amount of HFCS to obtain the same flavor
>On its own, HFCS tastes fucking vile (at least in my experience) and thus more flavoring is required to cover it up, which may or may not be a bad thing
>HFCS is, as its name suggests, mostly FRUCTOSE, the type of sugar that the body is least able to process large amounts of, a fact which can be directly linked to some health issues

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That's just thin mayo and balsamico, r-right?

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>the oil is cold
I screamed

_No,

Because previous generations were so fucking conscious of proper diet.

Queen Victoria outlived her husband by some 40 years. She missed him dearly and later picked many bad habits and strange pastimes to distract herself from the loneliness.

After this one I promise the food is actually good.

I'm pretty sure it is at least

the part that gets me is the tonging of the doritos. Just dump em out, lady!

Okay the pizza one was bad but that's the last one.

wow dude, you don't know where her hands have been.

And after this I am spent. You all can discuss what the fuck ever.

>bread.webm
>three fourths of the webm is pastry

Why

Part of me should care, but it doesn't. And it won't. And i'll repost it as bread somewhere else.