What if, as IG, you brought 10 Chimeras of big cats into battle and upon targeting the enemy with lasguns...

What if, as IG, you brought 10 Chimeras of big cats into battle and upon targeting the enemy with lasguns, released the felids? Would they go after red dots?

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The results would be catastrophic.

It could result in a continent-wide cataclysm

They would most likely go catatonic.

youtube.com/watch?v=x3BHSt42L0Y

Fun historical fa/k/t: During the first Indochina war, the viet minh released 2000 cats doused in kerozene and set ablaze on a french fortified outpost.
Burnings felines ran everywhere until on of them jumped on a crate of explosives in the armory, leveling the outpost.

This is the only official weaponized use of cats that I know of.

holy shit carlos you fucking murdered my sides.

>This is the only official weaponized use of cats that I know of.

The CIA once sunk (I believe) over a year and $65,000 in training a cat to deliver explosives into an apartment complex through a fire escape. The mission failed when the cat ran out into the street and got hit by a car.

Cats are no longer considered working animals for law enforcement purposes.

Didn't the CIA also repeatedly fail killing Patrice Lumumba with poison until he was just murdered by rebels? CIA stories are funny

I believe so.

The thing about the CIA is that they are insanely well-equipped and well-trained, but they're still people, and as such have ridiculous mistakes sometimes.

We never hear about the stuff that works, because they keep that shit quiet and keep using it. We only hear about the failures because they do it once and then laugh about it/moan about it later on.

It kinda sucks to be the CIA when you really think about it - everybody hates you because they think you're this super-secret collective of hyper-intelligent, all-knowing killing machines with absolutely zero morals instead of actual people, but then get mad when it turns out you're just people and therefore make mistakes.

CIA tried to destroy the moon to prevent the soviet being the second country that landed on it.

Reminds me of a story I heard on /k/
>FBI set up a fake State Militia group and faked becoming more and more extremist until they eventually had plans to kill a local politician
>most of the people that had been in the State Militia had left by the time they had started planning to kill someone
>on the night of the planned assassination, FBI HRT bust into the building, arresting everyone except the undercover feds
>Wait a minute, this guy is an undercover cop from the local Sheriff
>Wait a minute, these guys are undercover from the local police department
>FBI's face when literally the entire group was undercover cops

>CIA tried to destroy the moon

They CONSIDERED destroying the moon, before NASA said, "Here's 1001 reasons why that's an absolutely fucking terrible idea."

Their job is to come up with the ridiculous, crazy shit, because that's the stuff that's the hardest to counter.

soooo it was a Paranoia larp?

>Their job is to come up with the ridiculous, crazy shit, because that's the stuff that's the hardest to counter.
I thought that was DARPA's job?

fpbp

They would probably run from the fires that would result from sustained lasfire. The plan would be a categorical failure.

Didn't they stick cats in bombs to try and steer them towards ships during WW2? the thought being that cats hated water.

...

FPBP

I can imagine
>"You know, sometimes I wonder if we're really the good guys in this war, after being out here so long I don't even know why I hold contempt for my enemy anymore, we're both just fighting because it's our job"
>"How about the fact they set fire to 2000 cats and used them to burn out and blow up one of our outposts"
>"I am suddenly a patriot again"

No. DARPA creates countermeasures for those.

Like their fucking molten rocket javelin.

Remind me again why America just hasn't conquered the world already? Is it because then we'd have nobody to test these crazy toys on?

Plus it'seems a shit ton of effort to control and maintain a massive fucking empire, especially when some of your populace would object based on "moral" considerations. After a few years (but long before our new dominion grew accustomed to U.S. law telling them that no it's not OK to kill people just because) we would have insurgencies worldwide murdering civilians and government officials alike in the streets (ala Afghanistan), this will be after the heavy resistance we receive from countries like China, Russia, etc.

Those were pigeons user.

Thy also considered putting bombs on bats and dropping them on enemy cities.

The Mongols under the leadership of Tamerlane stole 1000s of birds, cats and rats, then attached burning cloth to their tails so that they would instinctively run back to their home in fear, causing mass havoc.

can a lasguns be turned down so low that it can be used to point at a screen for a slideshow?

Got me five seconds to get it, goddamnit.