Alright Veeky Forums. I usually Lurk on here, make a few comments, take some advice...

Alright Veeky Forums. I usually Lurk on here, make a few comments, take some advice, and get a kick out of the stories posted. But this time around, I'm here to pay up with a story of my own. And oh boy, it is something else.

Let me tell you all the Tale of Gimble.

Now, a bit of background. I'm DMing a D&D 5e game for some friends, five of them actually. We've got a Monk, a Warlock, A Bard, A Barbarian... and Gimble.


See, from the Get go, Gimble was an interesting character. The player's a good guy irl, but he asked many times to make compounds that were a bit advanced for the setting, but I usually balanced out what he could make.

However, this incident is something I could never have Anticipated. I should have, given that he was Chaotic neutral, and played that part VERY well, but... well, let's just jump right in.

Cont.

Other urls found in this thread:

derpibooru.org/1114070
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It all started as a simple Sidequest: each player was doing their own little quest to earn some extra gold and XP before bigger adventures came along, and Gimble decided to look for an attempted assassin. Well, the clues led him to a hotel in the City where he stayed, so Gimble the Gnome, riding on his Mastiff, strolled in to see if he could find the assassin. Now, in a previous mission, he had incited a little racial tension between the elves and Humans in the hotel using his illusion magic. So, he used that to his advantage by claiming that the wanted man he was looking for had tricked them all into fighting. A few sucessful charisma rolls later, and he had about 35 commoners searching the hotel, until they found two men with crossbows. Now, he was supposed to interrogate, or figure out through investigation which of the two was the assassin, and which was innocent. But, after some initial failed rolls, he decided to try something different.

Something VERY different.

So, he had the two men tied up on chairs, facing back-to-back, and... he bought pitchforks and Torches for all the people in the Hotel lobby. He used his illusion and some persuasion to try and convince them to surround the room with these new armaments, and they did. This is the first indication something was wrong.

"Alright, what does Gimble do now?"

>Alright, if the real assassin doesn't Step forward, I'll burn this building and everyone in it to the ground, and then move on to the next hotel!

We all kind of stopped, and I asked him "You... you sure you want to say that?"

>Yep.

Well, the mob may have been persuaded, but this man had literally threatened arson and murder. And they all had the torches and pitchforks.

So, naturally, they tried to gang up on him. No, with Misty step, he warps outside and escapes down the street on his mastiff, heading towards the Guardian Station (basically the Police-soldiers of my world. Think Oblivion Guards). I was expecting him to maybe try to hide in the station until it was all sorted out. But I was mistaken. Very mistaken.

You see, He instead shouted to the Guardians and kept riding.

>Help! I'm being attacked!

The Guardians, doing their job, saw a mob of people chasing a gnome on a Mastiff, and five of them ran after the group. I had lost all abiloty to predict his next move, so, it didn't quite hit me immediately when he said

>I want to lead them out of the city gates.

Then things REALLY went haywire.

Die user's Pie Adventures fag
derpibooru.org/1114070

Your kind needs to die for being such stunted manchildren

He managed to sucessfully lead this group out of the City gates, and near the local giant-spider infested forest. So what does he do then? Why, he throws some fire into the trees of course! As a DM, I even asked "A-are you sure you want to do that...?" And he just insisted on doing so. Now, I could have made the commoners harder to lead on or something, but... I was morbidly curious where he was going with all of this, so they stayed. They stayed and kept chasing him after 15 giant spiders lept from the trees and trailed behind the ever growing mob.

Now he had a full small army chasing him, and I ask him what he wants to do.

>I want to lead them to the goblin caves.

The party just freezes. (For context: In this game, the main conflict is that the normally greedy and disorganized Goblin race have suddenly become Roman Empire-level of organized, and the players will eventually fond out why, but a mission they had recently done involved sneaking into a goblin cave fort.) And this madman wanted to bring a bunch of angry commoners there.

Maybe he got it from somewhere else, you autismo?

OP here.

I found that pic online, Looking for Blade Runner Memes, not many of those left man. Anyway, back to the story.

Yeah, fuck you, these faggots need to stop shilling their shitty fucking show

Do you really think I'm supposed to believe that petty ass bullshit?
Stop shilling your shitty fucking show. You have your own board for that shit.

So, ONE MORE TIME, I offer him grace by asking him: "Are you SURE you want to do this?"

>Definitely.

Well, he got his wish, and began leading this group to the nearby Goblin caves.

Now, at this point in the story, there were possibilities for what he would find. Wither the defeat would have made them clear out, or get reinforcements. Not wanting to be either handing this to the player, or be a dick, I let a coin decide. I asked Gimble to pick heads or tails, and he picked tails. If it had landed on tails, the site would have been abandoned.

Would have been.

Because it landed on heads.

There, standing before him, was a Hobgoblin legion, and a prototype battle wagon that I had designed a few sessions back (metal plated wagon, pushed by hobgoblins, with an X-bow for distance sticking out of the Front).

And he just charges right in there, like the whole world was on his side.

your talking about the original image triggeredfag, shut the fuck up and listen to the story you 12 year old shitlord

samefagging so hard

I'm just saying, they have their own board for this shit.

I don't know what OP image is from, and I don't give a fuck. Can we stop arguing about it and concentrate on chase scene?

Thank you

No fuck you, OP's image is from user's Pie Adventures, and they have their own place to shill that shit, the containment board.

Well, at first, it almost seemed like it was, because with a rather clever move with his familiar, he dropped a bomb into the vehicle, and it caught fire (now I know, familiars can't attack. However, they can carry and drop. Gimble figured this out).

Now, he was feeling pretty good because he had just burned down essentially the army's tank, but then he realized he was in the middle of a Hobgoblin Army.

"Roll initiative."

He was level 3 at this point. And was now up against 5 hobgoblins with ranged attacks and giant swords. Well, he played defensively, because after rolling a decently high initiative, he cast fog cloud and scattered spikes across the ground in a 5ft circle.

The hobgoblins were now reduced to flailing their swords in his general direction, and although a few hit, he was playing it smart.

And then he pulled a neat trick and thunderwaved all of them. Not a SINGLE HOBGOBLIN made the save, and that blast literally killed all 5 hobgobs.

And his Mastiff.

But it doesn't stop there.

Sheesh man, You know more about it than I do, and I'm the one who posted it. Maybe you should check out this containment board, sounds like you'd love it there.

Anyways, back to the story at hand...

The greatest part of this thread for me has been this autistic user being angry about ponyshit that I, a ponyfag, didn't know was ponyshit.

What's it like to be deeper down the rabbit hole than an actual ponyfag, you autismal fuckwit?

Except it's not the same image. It's clearly a fucking Blade Runner meme. You are actually so autistic it's physically painful.

user, why the fuck are you calling out things as pony when most of us don't even know where things like that come from?
Secondly, why do you even know about this stuff? You know an awful lot about pony stuff for someone that supposedly hates it.

It's like you are secretly OP looking for an excuse to shit up the thread and the board.

Samefag detected.

That's what happens when their shit's not allowed outside of containment.

>You know an awful lot about pony stuff for someone that supposedly hates it.
BECAUSE THEIR SHIT'S NOT ALLOWED OUTSIDE OF CONTAINMENT AND WE MUST DO WHAT WE CAN TO STOP THEM.

Reminder on how to deal with Barneyfag

Please OP, continue your story.

ok ponyfag/OP/whoever

get on with the story

So, Imagine you are a Hobgoblin commander. You see a horde of angry humans and some human soldiers charge at your forces, and your tank go down. You just aim for all of them for the most part. Archers stay in the rear, infantry begin an assault.

And then you see a thunderwave in the middle of a fog cloud kill 5 men. I don't care if you're a brilliant strategist or just a guy who knows how to hit things, but you'll know: "whatever that is, THAT is the biggest threat."

So, naturally, he sics the goblin mage after him, using a gust to blow away the cloud. Gimble decides to NOPE out of there, so he misty step's away, then sprints into the angry human mob. The goblin commander decides that this is the perfect opportunity for his archers, and signals them to angle to his in the crowd, then fire.

The arrows ripped down about 5 humans... and the heavily injured Gimble. He started trying to make death saves, and he suceeded one, but soon enough, the commander decided to end the threat once and for all. He chopped his head off.

Now, I felt a little bad for Gimble. It truly was his own fault, but to doe at level 3? Not a good feeling. So, I made his death something special.

"Due to all of the chemicals and contingencies you have worked with throughout life, the severibg of your head triggers one final, glorious explosion, blowing the commander back, and marking Gimble's end."

Now, I assumed that the schennanigans were over when Gimble ended, and his player took it like a champ. But he still had caused quite a mess with this army muck up, and that is not something a party misses out on.

They didn't make things any more sane for me.

Hi Barneyfag, it's been a while.

Do you like HOT WINGS?

Adding another voice in - OP, please continue. I wanna see where this shit goes. Ignore the dumbfuck whining about cartoons.

How in the fuck did you know that existed? Why the fuck did you post the name? Are you the shill, here?

>1. Pick something super esoteric that nobody really knows about
>2. Pretend to rage about it while posting all searchable information about it
>3. ?????
>4. Profit?

Regardless of your intentions, there are more people in the world that know of this now than before you used your keyboard to denounce it. YOU DID THIS.

People still don't know how to filter?

>schennanigans
wh

A little background, while this was happening, our Warlock was leading the party (minus the monk, he got dragged into a social obligation, which he clearly did not want to do, but I helped him catch up in XP with a sidequest later), and kept making religion checks. His player's background was one surrounded by religion, even led a small cult once, so he was doing pretty good (player is not edgy, but is a big Lovecraft fan, likely drew inspiration from that).

Now, since Gimble was dead, this army was approaching their area now. The Guardians had managed to rip down quite a few Hobgoblins, but their force (originally 50 Hobgobs) was still 38 strong. Suddenly, the Warlock decides to Throw up a giant illusion of the Goblin's Diety, the being of greed (Lord Crakkus is the name). And then he speaks in celestial while telepathically beaming the words to their head.

>You have done well, my many servants! Now, for your ultimate test! Throw yourselves onto your weapon, and through this act of devotion I shall grant you invincibility!"

I was stunned. Everyone was stunned. But I just calmly asked him to roll it. I never expected this.

He got a NATURAL 20. The group went nuts, I just, At that point I really gave up ever hoping for coherency, and so I set my digital dice roller to roll 38 d20s.

Only one of them nat 20'd to resist.

In that moment, a LEGION of Hobgiblins committed mass suicide. Along with 7 commoners who also failed.

I couldn't give a shit about hot wings tbqf

Well, that shows how they're degenerate.

Why would a shitload of goblins instantly believe something telling them to die just because they saw it? Why would it speak in celestial? Why don't you know what sense motive is? Why are you such a faggot?

>I'm autistic so that means their degenerates
Don't bother replying this is the last (you) you're getting from me

>illusions are mind control
>look at all the wild shit my PCs get up to when I'm too stupid to know how things work
>aren't I interesting?
fuck off

I think the guys throwing themselves on their clubs probably would've survived.

There was a mass of bodies bloody chunks of Gimble everywhere, and the party was left alone with the Guardians and one human, while the Goblin Wizard (who was never fooled by the illusion) and the one Nat 20 Hobgob (the Commander, I decided), both teleported the heck outa there to report this.

Ah, but the Spiders were still a threat! ...for about 5 seconds. The bard and Barbarian both managed to inflict the Frightened debuff on the remaining spiders, so that kept them at a distance. Our barbarian, a dragonborn, used his breath weapon, while the warlock chucked his fancy powdered poison jars to deal some damage. Then he pulled out the big one.

A few sessions back, I made a potion that a necromancer was using to make supersoldier undead zombies. The Warlock took the potion, spent time in the background getting it analyzed, and eventually made one powderized grenade of it.

He handed it to the barbarian, who threw it, and it caused everything undead within a 10ft radius to grow super strong. But there was no undead there, user. There were bodies and torn open spiders. And what this potion essentially does is repair and double damaged muculature. So, while bodies began to burst with a disgusting malformation, these opem wounded spiders half bloated to death as they breathed their last. The few who remained, the barbarian cut to pieces.


And with that... I didn't know what to say. My party had shown me a new side to gaming that day. I thought back to all the murderhobo stories from Veeky Forums and realized "wow... those guys aren't faking.

So that, my friends, is the tale of Gimble the "Wise," and the absolute mess he caused.
Sidenote. Literally all of this could have been avoided if he had just, like, actually tried interrogating the assassin suspects back at the hotel.

Well at least you aren't the biggest faggot in this thread.

Here's one in return.

Longswords.

>Frightened
Spiders are mindless you stupid cunt, they can't even be frightened.

>I thought back to all the murderhobo stories from Veeky Forums and realized "wow... those guys aren't faking.
>So that, my friends, is the tale of Gimble the "Wise," and the absolute mess he caused.

No, this is the story of a stupid DM failing to understand how things work and making a mess.

What the fuck are you on about?

go back to /v/ you fucking samefag

I enjoyed the storytime. I don't really play D&D so I'm not triggered like some of the people in the thread. And hey, if not knowing some of the rules let you and your friends have a funner time than if you'd known better, then that's cool too.

Well, Never said I was a great DM, But I try for these guys. I do suppose that me screwing up did seriously contribute to the events that unfolded, but I can't much change what I've done now.

Don't worry about it, man, if everyone had fun you did good. Every table has its houserules.

Nah don't listen to him, he's just being a jackass. You're the DM, you make the rules. If one of those rules happen to be that giant magical spiders run away when shit turns south... Well, that's your call.

Thanks for the story time!

I'm glad that some of you did enjoy it, I know I enjoy reading Stories on Veeky Forums whenever I come here.

As for my mistakes pointed out above, I am trying to learn more about 5e as I continue, and, hopefully, if I ever have another share-worthy story, I'll have much fewer mistakes in it.

Degenerates shilling a shitty show outside of their containment board.

Fuck you, these degenerates deserve death

Something the matter?

Thanks for the storytime, sorry your thread got shit on by a turboautist.

>hey user, I want to try to use one of my abilities to save our asses and prevent a TPK in a creative, unexpected way
>FUCK YOU IT'S NOT MIND CONTROL

And you. You're somehow an even bigger faggot than the guy sperging about Barney or whatever the fuck.

OP, you didn't screw up. You made their gaming lives way, way better. Good work :)

Get killed faggot

You seem upset, friend.

9/10 thread OP.

Why didn't a gnome with illusionist magic just go invisible?

Spiders also can' be gigantic. Their body structure simply can't get large enough to be 'giant'

Too bad this isn't fantasy, and magic isn't a thing, and it's not a fucking game.

Go play your own game, with your fearless, normal size spiders.

Why didn't this image get deleted?

Thanks OP, that was a fun read.

we hate ponies but not to the point that we search out every image we see to check if it happens to be pony related

If you were to post something easily recognizable as a pony, you get shat on

Because it isn't porn, you puritanical autist.

That picture, I know where it comes from.

Good for you.

What's that old saying...
Hater gonna hate?
Keep doing what you're doing!
It's more about the fun and the stories.

>mods are still trying to cuck me out of calling out degenerates
derpibooru.org/1114070

>Be me, 357lb 15th level athiest
>I see a hint of some PONY comic that I read in it's entirety when I was HATING IT, which I found on a PONY website that I was browsing out of HATE.
>I then wisely proceed to point out, in the calmest manner, That tgis poor gentleman is using an obscure reference to an obscure comic on an obscure website that's related to PONIES and in no way could be found in any other format.

Why won't the mods ban this man for his clearly pony image?

He's the kind of person that would start his autistic meltdown at a Star Trek convention because someone mentioned John de Lancie.

John DeLancie is still one of, if not my favorite Star Trek Actor (possibly outdone by Sir Patrick Stewart), Because his portrayal of Q as a wise and yet socially ignorant Diety-level being was such a memorable and timeless one.

Lol cool Story m8