My friend is creating a backstory...

my friend is creating a backstory, i told him to revise it to make it better but he's too lazy to do it so im wondering what you guys think of it, please help me revise it so i can resend it to him. this is pathfinder running the Way of the Wicked:

the mask is actually attached to his face. He doesn't remember how it got there, or very much of his past pre-mask. All he knows is he found out he's good at killing people, and he enjoys it, so he did that for money (and a bit of fun) to sustain himself and live in secret. He wasn't caught for awhile, ya know, the mask and all. eventually he was imprisoned for high treason when he tried to kill someone important. Whoever/whatever organization breaks us out will tell us about how they wanna take over talingarde he says "utlimate power sounds pretty sweet, and you broke me out so sure why not" so he's on board and devotes himself to the cause out of loyalty + self interest

Seems very run of the mill "Dickass thief."
If he wants the permanent mask, tell him to look up the Man in the Iron Mask, may give his character a motivation for the secrecy and murder.

To risk being a weeb, take a look at utawarerumono. It might not fit the setting, but could be interesting.

The mask is a curse. It twists the perception others have about the wearer, forcing the wearer to forever be a stranger to everyone, never being recognized for his deeds or actions. Sometimes, the mask projects foreign thoughts into the wearer's mind, such that the wearer may not even know himself. Perhaps it was a curse laid by an enemy of the wearer, relegating the wearer into eternal obscurity and eventually madness, should the wearer be too weak to overcome the mask's influence; perhaps the mask was designed to create the ultimate killer, one who could feel no empathy by way of eternal ostracization; or perhaps the mask was donned willingly by a man who came to hate the world that he wanted to feel nothing towards it.

Occasionally, the mask tells him to do things, things so extreme that the world would have to recognize it. It does this in the vain hope that it might be remembered.

seems like a decent enough starting point.

I prefer a 2-3 sentence vague backstory over a 28 page manuscript any day. you at least know he's engaged in his character more than just class + race + level, but hasn't gone full-on special snowflake all-about-me style

I say leave it be and allow him to add detail as the game goes on

>He doesn't remember how it got there, or very much of his past pre-mask.
What if the body isn't wearing the mask but the mask is wearing the body.

The man under the mask is just a random criminal one that is being promised as a test subject to a mage. The mage in an attempt to create the ultimate assassin bound the soul of a legendary assassin to the mask. When the criminal is made to put on the mask the resistance of both souls caused them to go crazy killing the mage and escaping. Ultimately the assassin's soul won "killing" the soul of the criminal however the struggle caused the assassin to loose his memory.

>mask is attached to face

How does this guy eat?

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