Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: A Gods Myth Edition

Listen up you pathetic excuses for human beings! We have just received word that a nearby world is under attack! We've got one hour before arrival, so let's load up and prepare for war!
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1d4Chan: 1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regiment_designation_Veeky Forums

Steam Group: steamcommunity.com/groups/40k_penal_regiment.

FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.

>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.

>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.

>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.

>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.

>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.

No can do baby, gotta finish fixing the tank, then we've got this thing goin' on.....

>Within minutes of receiving the order to muster. Malak would be fully equip with the standard Scion issue gear, along with a Gravchute. Ready to drop straight into whatever hell was waiting for them.

>The man would aggressively press his finger into the man's chest. A venomous look in his eyes.

I don't care if your fixing the God Emperor's most holy golden toilet, Sergeant! You have orders to muster, and you WILL FOLLOW THEM!

Can't muster with no tank, that's Archeotech Science.
>The man is his usual mellow self.

not Archeotech*

>Goes to the mustering place and finds a relatively unoccupied corner to wait at

>Kane would suddenly spawn out of nowhere
>his tits would be gone, but now he'd have a tail
"Oh, wow. Hey"

>stands silently at ease, watching the regiment. Anyone passing him by would be able to hear Argus' helmet comms going crazy, filled with screaming and gunfire.

Hey Kane. How're you do-
>"W-What's with the t-tail?"
>The Tankers stop their work for a moment to look over at Kane.

"Well...y'know,Slaanesh and her fetishes..."
>The tail would keep tickling him
>it would..."look?"...at the tankmen

If that thing starts trying to suck people's dicks, I'm going to put three holes in you, and bring what's left to Inquisitor Arnel Saerkaru.

Now that just ain't right man.
>"Kamerad, you must remove that thing."
>Da, it's just.....why does it look....sentient?"
>"I-I think it's 'staring' at m-me."
>"God Emperor man, burn the damned thing."
>"I'm with Churchy, burn that bloody thing, aye?"

>"I don't care if your fixing the God Emperor's most holy golden toilet"

I understand that's just a one off statement to get someone to do something, and shouldn't be taken too seriously in this context

But the subtle implication that you're above the Emperor is maximum heretical.

"What? This thing? It's more of a pup, really"
>the tail would motion up an down in an excited way

>C-Can you not do that?"

>turns his head towards Kane and the tank crew. Argus slowly begins reaching for his knife.

>A middle aged man, with a calming smile on his face, would step next to Kane.

Now, now everyone. Let's all calm down, and focus upon the coming battle, rather than the fight each other.

>He'd cast a friendly looking smile to Argus.

That includes you Major. We have no need for infighting

>Argus slowly removes his hand from his knife. But now he is staring at Arnel. Even though he wears his helmet, it is safe to assume he is very angry.

>The man continues to flash the man an ever friendly smile.

>He'd give the Inquisitor a firm nid and a salute.

Understood M'lord.

>Noticing the Inquisitor, Ragaa slowly moves further away

>Sadly for him. Before he even has a chance to do this. A pair of arms would wrap themselves around the Feral worlders neck.
>This is followed by the full weight of a body being pressed against it.

Gotcha Ferry!

Hey we're just trying to fix our tank and then all this happens.
>"Just make the t-tail stop......"

Wait, what?

>it would stop, pointing down in a sad demeanor
"Oh, well, how are you gentlemen? And...lady?"

>Argus' hand once again drifts over to his knife, but he stops himself.
Just who the fuck are you, anyways?

NAAAAME

>appears out of nowhere, hand in hand behind his back

Line up men, surprise inspection.

>She'd pull herself off of him before feigning a look of Injury.

I'm hurt that you don't remember who I M Ferry... I really am.

>She pouts for a moment before going back to smiling.

Just kidding of course! I just wanted to bug you a bit sweetie!

Fine mostly.
>"Okay on my end."
>"I am doing gud Kamerad."
>"Mostly okay Comrade, thank you for asking."
>"Doing good mate, you?"
>"D-Doing alright..."

We're a group of Tankers, and that's Kane.

>Major Argus turns, looks the Lord Commissar up and down, and laughs. He then walks away.
Throne, I... I gotta go report this.
>his laughter can be heard for quite some time after he leaves

I'm not sure if I follow... But it is good to see a familiar-
Yer gotta be kidding me...
>Does as ordered, trying to be as unnoticeable as he can... Albeit his ragged appearance makes it difficult

>He'd flash the man a pleasant looking smile.

Ah! My apologies Major Argus. I know you from my chats with Inquisitor Laroque as well as having read your file. But otherwise we have yet to be formally introduced.

>He'd thrust his hand out to Stormtrooper CO.

I am Inquisitor Arnel Saerkaru, of the Ordo Xenos. I, as well as my retinue aboard "The Storm of Sorrows" have decided to throw our lot in with yours. I just k is it will be a pleasure to work with you.

>sharply turns his head to the new face

You there. Step forward.

>Argus tilts his head and clears his throat
Mhm.
>he does not shake the man's hand
That attitude is going to change quick.
>he continues on his way

>Points at himself
Who, me?
>Steps forward despite his apparent discomfort

>She whispers to him.
Just relax Ferry. The Commissarat can smell your fear.

Who and what are you?

>the comissar's visage invades his personal space

>The man only continues to smile in response.

I very much doubt that Major.

I, err... Ragaa, a guide.

Welcome to the guard, put on your standard issue armor and las rifle
you earned the privilege to die for the emperor in glorious combat

>Meanwhile, in one of the ship's many morgues, a man awakes on a cold metal sheet.

"It's fuckin pitch black, and colder then balls... I swear to god if I'm in another fucking coffin."

>Feeling around his chilly metal surroundings, he groans dejectedly, and begins banging on the sides making as much noise as he can.

Thanks, I... Think?
>Looks very uncertain but manages to smile

>The Crew move the tank in line with the rest, then continue with the repairs.

>diverts his atention back to the rest of the regiment

>despite the familiarity he does not give them an easy pass, inspecting them thorougly before letting them go
>as before, Anya gets the longest look

>Kane would move in line, swinging his tail in a circular motion
"Ready for spanking, sir!"

>punches him in the dick when he is close enough

END ME

Well, that's a relief.
>He waits for the inspection to end, although still seems nervous of the Inquisitor's presence

>The baseline crewmembers are fairly unperturbed by the inspection, continuing their work as usual.
>Anya, as always, shrinks at the scrutiny, and almost drops back inside the tank, but not quite.

>notices her reaction

Guardsman, come here.

>Malak is simply waiting for the Judgement, and the Sorrow to drop out if the warp so that they can deploy.

>After a few moments, Anya does, fully climbing out of the tank and sliding down the hull to stand at attention at Leon's feet.
>She looks....suitably terrified.

>leans closer

You dont seem too well. What is bothering you?

>Upon entering the hanger, Jericho rolls his eyes for a moment at the sight before him walking towards the Commissar.

Sorry to interrupt you, M'lord. But I've just received word that we're about to drop out of Warp above the planet.

Apparently it's under a full on invasion.

Very good, finaly i can see the regiment in action properly.

>steps to the vox and announces to the regiment to prepare for deployment and throws in a short prayer

>"S-Scared I'll get a b-b-beating again sir. D-don't have to do anything wrong either, j-just being...what I am was usually enough f-for the others."
>She continues to look scared half to death, while the rest of the Crewmen stop their work to watch over the conversation.

Understood M'lord.

>He'd turn to face the men.

THIRD INFANTRY COMPANY! PREPARE TO MOVE OUT!

>The Leman Russ comes out of the woodworks
>Out of the hatch Jaemis stands to attention

Jaemis: "SIR YES SIR!"

>"Guess that means it's time to move out."

>He'd gather up his kit, before heading to his designated transport.

>he rubs his chin as he hears her out

>he looks up and laughs
No beating here, mutant. You are in the guard, and beating would only
hinder any progress, we need soldiers not punching bags
>pets her head
If i wanted to dish out punishmment it comes in bolter form,
now go back to the tank and continue being useful

Dismissed

>leaves to his transport along with his squad

>He'd glare at the russ boys commander.

I said THIRD INFANTRY COMPANY! WOULDNT YOU BE WITH ODDBALL IN THE SIXTH ARMORED COMPANY!?

>he'd be observing carefully, scared for Anya

>Checks his weapons and armor before going back to a secluded corner

>He'd smack the heretical former Discipline Master roughly on the back,b before shoving a flak vest, and a lasgun into his hands.

You're with me heretic. Inquisitor Arnel's orders.

>Anya flinches as Leon raises his hand, but just as quickly relaxes....slightly, at the aforementioned petting.
>"I....yes sir. At once sir!"
>She's still scared, as the other Crewmen are concerned as she mounts the tank, but there's hope there too.
How?
>"What?"
>"That was unusually kind for a Commissar."
>"Da."
>"Ja."
>"Aye."
>"Mhm."

You can ride with u-
Oh. Nevermind....

Jaemis: "Oh....SORRY SIR! I MISHEARD YOU! WONT DO SO AGAIN!"

>She'd smile at the Feral worlder after gathering her kit.

See you on the other side Ferry! If you find anything edible while down there, don't hesitate to bring me some to cook!

>She'd then board her awaiting transport with the rest of the fourth company.

>Looks at her go
>after she has left his line of sight, Ragaa starts eating his rations
>several day's worth of them

"Sir, tin man, yes,sir!"
>he'd sarcastically stand to attention

>He would squint his eyes at the heretic. His face hidden away by his helmet, but his aura still showing his anger.
... whatever Heretic. Just get suited and follow me.

Alright, pilot, takeoff

the enemy will not kill itself

Roger that, sir!
>Begins taking off
>Scared_of_having_commissar_on_board.jpeg

>The small Inquisitorial battleground would exit the warp around the world known as "Heratexia". A long barren world that was only recently rediscovered.
>Situated in orbit around the planet would be dozens upon dozens of ships. Some of which would bare the mark of the Ad Mechanicus, while the rest would bare the mark of... The Red Corsair's!
>All of which would be firing upon each other.
>The space around the planet would be filled with various kinds offighter craft, and weapon discharges would streak across the void.
>Whatever was happening above the planet, the regiment had just gotten thrown into the middle of it!

"Suited? Like what? A strap-on?"
>he'd follow him

>A second Valkyrie takes off and screams towards one of the Red Corsair's ships. Over the vox, Major Argus calls out
Don't wait up, I intend to take my time.

>voxes the admiral/captain

This is Comissar Lord Leon Guerre, open fire at the enemy vessles and advance at full speed ahead

in the meantime find their flagship, we are going to board it.

>The planet below would look no better. With this side of the planet covered in darkness, the scale of the conflict below can just be seen, as small dots of fiery red and oranges can occasionally be seen blooming upon its surface.

>voxes Cyril

Major, if you do not return to the main force this instance you will be declared a deserter and executed as one promptly.

>Ragaa enters the Valkyrie he's appointed to, and loads his lasgun

>A calm voice would be heard over the Commissars vox.

If you believe that to be the right choice Commissar, then I won't stop you. But I believe your orders are to deploy on the ground.

>the laughter of an entire squad of Stormtroopers almost drowns out Argus' response
Above your pay-grade, Guerre. Take it up with Inquisitor Laroque.
>quietly, Argus mumbles under his breath
Fucking idiot forgets who we are.

Being a veteran of many ground engagements i can assure you that airpower wins battles.
If our enemy is cut off from their air support they will be much less a nuisance

Throne not chaos pirates again...

Rolled 3, 7 = 10 (2d20)

>Upon seeing the sight of the newcomers, several Red Corsair's fighters would switch their targets to the troop transports being sent out. Their goal obvious to both sides pilots almost instantaneously.

>his face remains calm but his blood is boiling
>turns off his vox

I will remember this.

Pilot, fly us straight at their flagship, we must cut off their assault by beheading the snake

>holds on as the transport is rattled by grazing shots

Just keep us going straight towards the planet Wing Commander! And try to avoid any debris you come across. I'd rather it not be written that an entire squad of stormtroopers were killed before they set foot on the ground itself.

Rolled 7 (1d100)

You're serious are you not?

Yeah you are.

She turns on the intercom.

ALRIGHT EVERYONE STRAP TO YOUR SEATS AND GET READY... It's going to be a bumpy ride...

>She'd then proceed to drive towards the enemy flagship, trying to avoid enemy fire.
>Rollan to avoid fire

>the laughter stops. Argus' voice changes from smug asshole to rage-filled asshole
Oh, will you now? That's good. I was afraid I'd have to jump out of this Valkyrie and inbed it in your skull. Fucking Commissariat. Only reason they're around is because they're slightly less chicken-shit than grunts.

>he'd be petting his pistols, cigar burning
"When do I shoot people?"
>as Kane, excitedly shaking with a giant strap on
"And when do i penetrate people?"

>observes the incoming fire and takes a breath trough his nose
So be it.

>Cyril never heard the comissar's remark, as he turned off the vox before he spoke to himself.

I'M NOT PRECISELY SCARED OF THE DEBRIS!

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>Is strapped to his seat, mumbling continuously as the valkyrie continues its approach
rolling to avoid larger damage, the paintjob will be kill either way

>Doing her best to avoid the damage, the Valk takes hits. Many hits. Almost to the point of total disaster as the fighters covering it's flight are shot down one by one before Vic's driving out on the open.

>She nonetheless lands the vessel, crashing it on the enemy flagship.

Awww... my Valk... again...

Pilot, aim the valkyre at their bridge, if we fall we will not fall in vein.

Fucking cancer, all of you.

>Kane would go check on her
"Are you alright, darling?"
>meanhwile the stranger would bust out of the ship, taking the nearest cover

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>he picks himself from the ground of the transport
Well, alive enough.

i hope,
squad, report.
>roll for squad damage

>Not a quest
>Still redirected to /qst/