ITT: TV shows in the Imperium

>Clarkson, Hammond, or May
>Techpriests
They're too comically inept and emotive to be true cogboys. They're probably Guardsmen or Mechanicus factory grunts. And Hammond is a secret heretek.

Arbites

Follow a squad car in the heart of necromunda for one night. Watch the imperial police bring justice to heretics and cultists. Totally unscripted.

Generation Purge.
>Hey, remembrancer! If you lie with your dick on the ground when a Baneblade goes by, it feels fucking great!

>In 30M, a Space Marine legion was declared heretic for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from their own brother's onslaught to the Outer Reaches. Today, still wanted by the Imperium, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... the Alpha Legion.
[The sound of distant BLAM!]

>driver constantly on stimpacks and chewing tabac.
>spouts heretical shit.
>picslate of remembrancers gf passed around by guardsman.
>Guardsman Twomb wants to shoot heretics and traitor guardsman with his heavy bolter.
>seals of protection all over rhino.
>commissar constantly yelling at the men to police up their faith in the Emperor.

>It's Never Sunny On Krieg

Clarkson is a Schola washout ex-guardman turned presenter, May is a forgeworld citizen who isn't quite a cogboy but is definitely an AdMech and Hammond is... a ratling I guess.

>Rowanus Akinsonson as Commissar Bean in Commissar Bean goes to the Underhive

Robot Wars.
>It's... well, it's Robot Wars.

Time Team
>A team of archeologists from academic and AdMech sources spend three days in a foreign to uncover a piece of galactic history
>They inevitably unearth an unspeakable evil every week and have to reseal it away

The Great Imperial Takeoff
>Bizarrely popular on Terra. Hosted by a couple of non-military sororitas, with a retired commissar and a noble lady as judges

Miss Marple
>What you'd expect, but Marple used to be an Inquisitor
>She gives even less shits than normal when the villain manages to get themselves killed or arrested by their own incompetence before mkaing polite small talk over a delicate china tea cup

>Rowan Atkinson as a commissar
Ciaphas Cain Goes Forth?

Fund it you two.

I once played an Inquisitor in Dark Heresy who was basically Frank.

G.I Guardsman

It's a Saturday morning cartoon about a joint task force of all the IG regiments fighting the evil heretics and mutants

>Hey, I didn't go to catachan to see my imperial truth trampled like this
>Inquisitor Franklin, you were twelve during the wars on catachan, you went there later to set up a sweat shop
>And a lot of good acolytes died in that sweatshop!

Percusive Maintenance Ritual is kosher according to Cain novels. Also the hammer is the most sacred tool of the Omnissiah. It serves to crush the enemies of the Machine god, it destroys the techno-heresies and fixes the sacred machines of the Imperium.

And May is autist enough to make a Techpriest cringe.

>Takeoff
Only now do I catch that typo. I meant Bakeoff. Though I guess rockets make a sort of sense as well.

Imported Taukusatsu made Imperium friendly.

Such as "Mighty Noble Power Conscripts".

Heretic: A show about Redemptionist Knoxville and his crew of Acolytes punishing/executing blasphemers, traitors and criminal scum in funny ways.

>Hi, this is Reverend Steve-O and this is Human Grill

>Taukusatsu
Greater-Goodzilla...?

>Robot Wars.
>And now we wait for the sacred rites by the tech priests we'll see you in a few hours.

>Next time, on Catachan Idol...
>Simon and the crew are blown away by the beauty of North Catachanners ancient lullabyes,
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>The romance of Catachan love songs,
>KEEP RUNNIN' YOU SAUCY OLD CUNT, IT'S ONLY MAKIN' MY FLOPPY BIGGER
>And the proud battle-prayers that every man, woman, and child on Catachan have sung since time immemorial
>HOLY TITTY-SLAPPING EMPEROR WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING
>Catachan Idol, week-days on Vox-28

Every episode ends with a PSA teaching kids about fire safety, the dangers of drugs and how to report suspected heresy.
youtube.com/watch?v=ZiJpDUdGhUs

"And remember, the Chaos gods do not care about you. Hang on to that soul!"

Holy kek

>The Making of a Heretic
A controversial documentary that covers an Inquisitor's investigation of a heretic who was turned into a servitor. The documentary questions whether the Inquisitor was correct in his judgement. The final episode, of course, reveals that the Inquisitor was 100% right and that the Inquisition is never wrong.

Enlighten us

Breaking imperium

A plagued ordo xenos tech priest turns to crime as he reproduces banned slaaneshi drugs in the under hive. Watch the drama unfold as he is becomes the largest drug dealer in the entire hive, all the while have the arbites chase down him down, led his own brother in law.

>Ayo HERETIC

that's borderline heretical there m80

Warp Space Truckers

10/10, would watch

Terra today!

A current events and talk show about the latest things happening in hive cities around the world (but for the emperor's sake we don't talk about what's underneath the hives)

Forgeworld Challenge:

A bunch of cogboys are dropped on an abandoned forgeworld and are challenged to build various machines, they always fail miserably however, as they are so scared of accidentally committing techno heresy by accidentally inventing something new, that they spend the entire time sanctifying themselves.

Heresybusters

>Each week tech priests Adam Savageus and Jaus Hyneman [suspected of harboring mustache-shaped abhuman] test and disprove known and commonly accepted tech heresys.

>mainly by using explosives.

[note - series cancelled after loss of servators Belleci,Byron, Imahara during testing of "can you survive an exterminatus with just the emperors prayer and a correctly folded paperclip?"

...

>Monster bug wars
>Just a propaganda show about the Tyranids

>Real Sororitas of the Upper Hive

Follows a group of a half-dozen Sororitas as they venerate the Emperor, learn important lessons about the imperium, and contribute to the health and wellbeing of their hive. Generally considered a wholesome and quality show.

>Slow TV Presents: Once Around the Imperial Palace.

Follow a group of Custodes as they perform their scheduled patrol route, marching along the entire perimeter of the Imperial Palace on Holy Terra. The few cameras record, uninterrupted, as the group of Custodes continuously walk in their 10,000 mile patrol. The show is periodically interspersed with historians explaining important sites and key details of the life and service of Custodes.

Some say he drove a leman russ directly into the eye of terror, and that his blood is made of promethium. All we know is that he is called techpriest stig!

Some say he spent last weekend dominating the Comorragh Redline circuit, and that he once had a sordid love affair with Sammael's jetbike. All we know is he's called the Khan.

I'd watch both.

>captain imperium going crazy over the course of the campaign
>rants about eldar pussy economy
>complaining about whiteshield troopers and sisters of battle

Why only the best weekly program on the Vox, "Ragin' Johny Fuklaw".

The Increasingly Improbable Adventures of Lord Captain Olivares

and his faithful friend the Dread Magos Robertson

RETURN this Dornsday to screens across the Calixis Sector. Witness the Lord Captain evade certain death, win probable wealth, and bed dubious women. Stare in amazement as Magos Robertson stops traffic... with his fists!

Emperor Who?

A show about the Emperor being thrown through space and time, trying to find his way back to 40k, along the way he fights heresy and spreads his glorious light.

The Quest for Knowledge

A romantic comedy about a group of Tech Priests who are traveling the galaxy with a group of Sisters of Battles, who are utterly confused by the ways of the Cog boys

What about a Harry Potter Rip off?

Harrius Potter at Warthog's School for Psykers

The Wizarding World of Prospero, you mean?

Finding Primarchs

a very poorly made show about a group of Imperial Scholars looking for the missing loyal Primarchs.
They never really get anyway, but people keep watching.

>Let's go out there and purge some heretics!
>I want in on this action, I am BORED to DEATH sittin' here.
>No, that's a bad idea. Usually when you get involved somebody gets wrongfully accused.
>That's ridiculous! How are we sure YOU'RE NOT a heretic?
*It's Never Sunny on Krieg theme*
>Frank Purges Sacchadee With Promethium

You know it.

head founders are going to be Magnus, Khan, Sanguinius, and Kurze. Unless, you know, you guys got better ideas of who founded this stuff?

Do people really enjoy the "Real world TV show with nouns swapped for 40k nouns" idea?

It seems like it would get hella formulaic. It's also... kinda lazy.

Did Curze really care all that much about the concept of Librarians? Or is he just in there as the obligatory Snape figure?

Fuck off you no fun, no ideas cunt.

My name is Michael Westonius

I used to be a Culexus, until...

>We got a Heresy Notice on you. You're blacklisted.

well he was a psyker, so there was that.

But yeah, he'd be kind of antagonistic.

I.G. JOE

On a faraway sector of the Imperium lies a looming threat: XENOS, TRAITORS, and HERETICS hellbent on Galactic Domination!

In order to combat this threat, the Imperium of Man chose their best (and quirkiest) elite soldiers from the all the forces of the Imperial Guard. This ELITE UNIT is I.G. JOE, REAL IMPERIAL HEROES, dedicated to fighting all the threats of Man.

Saturday Mornings at 9am!

Edmond, Edart, and Aedon
>Three bumbling Inquisitorial acolytes are trapped in a bubble in the Warp they must escape by outwitting their fellow prisoners.

Assassin Kimball
>A master Death Cult Assassin battles the Chaos Sorcerer Draekan and his pet Daemon with the assistance of her bumbling handler and his servo-ferret while attempting to pass her classes in the Schola Progenum.

Secutor Cherubim PWR-PF
>A master Magos creates a trio of hyperpowerful Cherubim to defend his beleaguered Hive.

Bravo Johannes
>A retired Stormtrooper and rejected Marine applicant attempts to build a family after many years of loyal service.

Titan Legio Octus
>A refugee squad of Collegio Titanicus conducts guerilla warfare against a Chaos invasion.

Marbo of Catachan
>An amusing saturday morning cartoon (and live-action movie) chronicling Sly Marbo's childhood conquering the native fauna of Catachan before being adopted by the Catachan Guard.

Magos XLT
>A Magos and his experimental servitor discover a barely-functioning titan deep within their forge world and repair it just in time to repel an Ork invasion.

Dexter's Forge
>A young AdMech applicant attempts to perfect the technologies he needs to be accepted into the Priesthood while his sister repeatedly tempts him with the joys of sloth.

Inquisitor Jack
>Separated from his retinue, a lone Inquisitor wielding a sanctified relic from the Dark Age of Technology seeks to destroy a Daemon World by removing its dark master.

Valor the Fearful Canine
>This cartoon, made for the Cadian market, depicts an appealing caricature of a cyber-mastiff overcoming his cowardice to defend his keepers-one grateful, the other scornful-against the terrors of the Warp. It is extremely popular.

Hail, Arnald
>The day-to-day lives of a number of young Imperial citizens.

The Thornberry Expedition
>An Explorator and his family scout the galaxy, while the youngest discovers her budding psyker-power of universal translation.

Most of the ideas in this thread fit into a 40k where Inquisitor Obi-Wan Sherlock Clouseau is a canonical character.

They don't fit so well into other less lolrandom takes on the same material.

And sadly, while lolrandom is very easy to write, it's also very shallow.

>heretics being literally farted to death

Now this is some Smash TV shenanigans I'd like to see.

>Now what have them Angry Boys gotten themselves into this time?

Not everything has to be deep. Sometimes, it's enough to have fun imagining Statler and Waldorf as crotchety dreadnought muppets.

Some say that he has no understanding of the concept of Cheese
And that's hes the real reason the squats went extinct.

All we know is etc etc

This thread makes me sad just because I know I'll never get to see even a shitty Flash pilot of any of these shows.

Id say only Ciaphas Cain could get green lighted

I'm picturing youtube right now.
>It's the Emperor's Creed but every time they praise the Emperor it's the Catechism of the Autoculus of Mars instead
>top 10 crusades that went too far
>kroot hound sees shaper for first time in 5 years
>like this comment if you support No Lives Matter
>how to remove scrap-code from your machine spirit DOWNLOAD LINK BELOW

Both would be really damn interesting!

Captain Primarch
>Hes a hero!
>Gonna take heresy down to zero!

>Slannesh dick, dickgod baby!

kek
>This large, unexplained monolith discovered on Luna is *clearly* a creation of ancient humans. No deviant xeno has ever been shown to create objects with perfect right angles. Truly, our ancestors were glorious and pure!
I always felt Black Adder goes Forth was the perfect kind of humor for 40k.

Brother Erwinias, Xeno-Hunter
>Right kids! Today we're gonna be explorin' the space hulk Endless Well of Despair! Let's see what we find!
>Oh oh ohh! Look over there past that slagged bulkhead, you can just see him skulking about. I'm whispering so he doesn't hear us, let's go take a closer look!
>*muffled clanking and scrabbling*
>What we've got 'ere is a Genestealer! These sprightly little guys you can find all across the galaxy if you know where to look, but be careful! I'm keeping a hold of this one 'cause he's just a youngin', but notice how even at this age he's using his claws and teeth to try and eviscerate me. He's obviously not used to being petted, as are most of 'em. Don't try this at home!
>Alright, off you go little guy! See how fast he is! They say Genestealers can dodge bullets!
>*gunshot*
>Well, except those fired by the righteous servants of the Emperor, of course! Suffer not the Xenos to live, am I right?
>Now then, I noticed some Ork droppings back down that access corridor. Let's go find one and get a close look at him too!

>"See that Tau over there? Now what I'm gonna do is sneak up behind it, real quiet like, and jam my thumb up it's butthole."

Needs more Australian accent.

...

>Some say that he only knows two fact about Grox, and both are wrong. And that he keeps a signed picture of the Master of the Administratum under his pillow. All we know is, he's called The Scar.

>Stay tuned for a new episode of Holy Terran Father, followed by Servitor Robert's Grox Discs, and later an Imperium-wide broadcast of the new "The Jaundiced Kauravans", where Bartholomew falsely reports his father, Homero, to Inquisitor Wiggums, and must retrieve him before his mother finds out and sends him to sleep with no nutrient paste.

>Crikey mate!
>Look at the size of this Gargant!
>I'm gonna wrestle it!

HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS HERSY.

Given that Goes Forth was airing at the time 40k was in its infancy, I'd say there was not a little inspiration taken for the Imperial Guard.

"Shooter"

>The adventures of an alcoholic vindicare assassin/man-child and his deranged co-workers, including his callidus assassin ex, a sex-addicted administratum officer, a bisexual commissar and the main character's mother, a narcissistic ex-callidus assassin.

>"YOUR DISH IS SO DISGUSTING EVEN 'NIDS WOULDN'T EAT IT"

kek

Instead of a marine make him a rogue trader

>soccer saturday with jeff and the boys but replace the football with battle reports.

>the Imperial fists are defending like beavers. Unbelievable Jeff.

>"Looks like the Blood Angels are going to rely on drop pod assault here tonight."
>"It's a bold move, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off"

>but can they do it on a cold night in Commorragh?

Surely that should be Primarch Who?

>"Well we saw the Space Wolves give them trouble last week but it was only a narrow loss, Cotton."
>"The Blood Angels' star HQ is back in action now. He was out with a broken arm last week, but he's re-glued and we're just going to have to wait and see if he can pull out a win."

Magos Biologis makes more sense, with mechadendrites and tools capable of subduing beasts.

>WELCOME BACK LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND DAEMONS OF ALL MARKS
>This is gonna be one hell of a game, Tim, as the Fenris Full-Pack takes on the Medusa Munchers
>Yes Rob, the Corpse Worshipers will have to push hard if they want this win
>Well lets get right to it, LETS SEE SOME BLOODBOWL

In the grim-darkness of the 41st millennium there is only psuedo-rugby.

of course