Go up to give presentation on the history of conjurations in front of entire veilwind college

>go up to give presentation on the history of conjurations in front of entire veilwind college
>see qt 3.14 witch i like in the crowd
>magic ring falls out of my bag of holding
>worriedorc.jpg
>"a-as a school of magic, conjuration has long been a-"
>another ring falls out of bag, followed by an unforunately phallic fireball wand
>laughed off stage
>screaminggnome.webm

well, /wiz/, i'm pretty much done, already submitted the resignation papers for the school, probably just gonna summon succubi in mother's basement for the rest of my life

so, how's life?

Dude, all you need is to be yourself! You just have to find some confidence and the rest will be easy.

Also maybe look for some dried frog pills.

chicks dig evokers, you should went blast wizard

Man it feels good to be a sorcerer. That's what you get for being a shitty wizard.

Using my charm to drown in poon while experiencing the power of beings beyond your comprehension.

I think someone hit you with a dream spell of some form. Or maybe it was just you.

I know that feel.

Got laughed out of college when I mixed up my grimoires.
I was supposed to give the apprentice an introductory Transmutation rebind, but had inadvertantly handed him my personal grimoire for study.
He cast Gully's Gluteous Growth on three witches and when caught he handed the spellbook over to the Grandmaster.

Now the only female relations I get are when I polymorph my familiar.

Bags of holding can't release items unless you will it.

OP must have got it from the discount Uni store.

OP's subconscious spaghetti got too strong, bag of holding picks it up as 'open the gates!'

>he's never been to UnsUni
Lol you missed out dude

>polymorph my familiar
They're called man's best friend for a reason, user.

Just go be an adventurer, find a group, have some laughs, slay monsters have some fun. Sooner or later you will become famous, people will remember that toss up and laugh, but raise a glass in your name.

>have some laughs, slay monsters
I'm 5 foot seven and built like a twig.

>implying that matters when you are a wizard

>I'm 5 foot seven and built like a twig.
Will they ever learn?

>Hurr durr what is invisibility
>hurr durr what is hate
If you're going to ignore the most useful spells you can fuck off you eldritch knight mage wannabe

>be initiate chronomancer
>think I forgot one of my scrolls in the lecture hall
>walk in a few hours after the class has ended
>professor is there
>he congratulates me and invites me to see who else successfully passed the final exam
>wat
>wait there for an hour
>no one else shows up
>he crys about the sorry state of his class, gives me a pat on the back and sends me on my way
>leave with my scroll
Did this count as cheating? What are the chances he'll find out I didn't actually travel back in time?

Yeah, as if even the professors would actually understand time magic
You're safe, user

>humans thinking they can begin to master the intricacies of magic.

Let's be honest. You never really had a chance in the first place so don't be so hard on yourself. But think of it this way - I'm sure you have another 4 or 5 whole decades left to live and there are other things you might be able to learn during that time.

It's possible that if you dedicated your remaining lifespan to learning a trick you could become somewhat competent at at it before you died of old age. Consider studying how to hitting things with sword, or learning how to adequately prepare a particular style of cooking. Whatever choice you make noble human, I truly hope you find some meaning to your life within the few short years left to you.

But if anyone found out, I'd be a branded a sheepfucker. Us outside New Zealand have a problem with that.

I also doubt I could sell my scrolls if anyone found out I spin my scrolls from the same beast I bed with.