Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: Lost Toasters Edition

"Gentlemen! I am in requirement of urgent assistance! The *static are trying to take the *static* and we need your help IMMEDIATELY! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! Emperor be praised"
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1d4Chan:1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regimentdesignation/tg/

Steam Group:steamcommunity.com/groups/40k_penal_regiment.

FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.

>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.

>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.

>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.

>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.

>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.

>Malak would grumble upon hearing the transmission.
>What the hell did they think he was going right now?

>checks over her hand cannon and hums an old war song to herself.

>Is getting medical attention

>5 of the Crewmen are working on repairing the damage to the Hammerhead -again-.
>Those five being Oddball, Putin, Churchill, Irwin and Rommel. Anya is apparently still 'missing'.

>Malak would quickly fire off a few shots at the approaching red corsair pirates.
>Three shots, followed by three bodies later, he would once again take cover behind what he was deeming to be his temporary home behind the recently destoryed Leman russ chassis.

>Comes into the hanger with an emergency sanctioned Leman Russ
>Frisk sits atop of it, checking her medical supplies
>Inside the tank is Jaemis and someone the local munitorum managed to lend him to drive the tank
>Jaemis gets onto vox

Jaemis: "You heard the mechanicus transmission? Looks like were in for some action."

>About twelve miles north of the stormtroopers, in what would be the north-east quadrant command post, would be Jericho, as well as several hundred men belonging to the regiment's 3rd infantry company.
>They would be holding the line against all manner of pirate, and heretical scum.

>salutes inthe general direction of the tank and climbs aboard, slipping inside she sits next Jaemis and smiles.
ready to go? what do you want me to do?

>Jericho would be too busy giving the men and women of "The Hopeful 3rds" an inspiring speech, to actually have heard the tech priest's transmission.

>Jaemis smiles

Jaemis: "For now, all we gotta do is wait for the command to go down there and help."

>He notices the hand cannon

Jaemis: "You know, for a smuggler, you seem to be packing alot more heat than I would have thought. This will be perfect for when we start the assault! We can perch you at the hatch with that thing and some cover from the bolter turret attachment."

>smiles
like I said, we nicked em, I can do whatever you want and go wherever you put me.
>smiles again inspectig the hand cannon, tracing her finger tip slowly across the ornate decoration.
I-I-I'm a pretty good shot too.

>Making his way into the hanger where the rest of the regiment's "rejects" were preparing. His lips as usual, would be be formed into a smile.
>He makes his way towards Jaemis' Leman russ, before waiting outside of it.

Jaemis: "Heh, I bet you are."

>Fritz comes inside

Fritz: "Alright, I got resupplied."

Jaemis: "Stims?"

Fritz: "All eight of them. Also, some inquisitor is waiting outside of the tank."

>Jaemis gives a puzzled face before sighing and looking at Diane

Jaemis: "Ill be back."

>He looks at Fritz

Jaemis: "Take the wheel."

>They switch places, and Jaemis goes out of the tank. He gives a sharp salute

Jaemis: "Sergent Jaemis reporting, Sir."

>gives a small wave as he exits the tank and smiles sheepishly at Fritz.
so, a medic huh? I bet you find all sorts of weird things inside of people.

>He'd continue to smile, even as he talks.
Sergeant Jaemis, correct? I have news for you from Segmentum command.

>Fritz laughs
Fritz: "Oh yeah. You dont even know. This one time, I found a screaming grot inside this idiots ass. I dont know what he was thinking, but apparently him and some others were messing around with their downtime privileges. Poor bastard has to retire after that, because his ass hurt everytime he tried to squat or get down from enemy gun fire."

>Jaemis stands at attention, feeling confused on the inside

Jaemis: "I am all ears, Inquisitor."

r-r-right, that sounds... interesting.
>swivels on the chair to face away from the medic.

As of right now, you are to be promoted to the rank of 2nd Lieutenant, and put in charge of the regiment's sixth armoured company.
>He'd throw the man up a small, fist sized box. Inside of which, would be his new rank insignia's.

Congratulations Lieutenant.

>Notices
>Smiles diabolically
>Positions her head next to the chair

Fritz: "Oh yes. Yes it is indeed. This other time, I found a massive piece of metal just sticking out of this one chicks gut. She was fighting an orc warboss, that poor soul. There was this other time when I had to put a living man's face back together with the skin of another person because we didnt have any operational vats around. Just a week ago, I found this one chick who stabbed some dude she was hanging out with in the chest over some drama BS. Too bad she got beat up by his friends after that. They had to make up in the infirmary together."

>She goes back to her seat

Fritz: "Man, the stories ive got to tell, girl. By the way, do you drink?"

>Jaemis grans the box and opens it, seeing the new insignia.
>He feels....suprised
>He puts it on and gives a salute

Jaemis: "Sir I....Thank you. I will not let the regiment down."

>He remembers some of the transmissions

Jaemis: "Permission to assist the 3rd infantry, sir? They seem in need of support."

>Malak would let out a sigh of relief, at the sight before him.
>Numerous pirate bodies would be scattered around the area. Puffs of smoke raising up from various parts on their bodies.
>He'd store away the spent energy cell, before stuffing a fresh one into his Hellgun.
>What was his kill count at now? It must be well into the hundreds by now, just like the others.
>At this rate, he would estimate the next wave would arrive somewhere within the next fifteen minutes.
>And just like the scions with him. He was ready for them.

>"This is Formation Leader, our number three engine is out, we need to drop back."
>The stone faced man can only sigh as he watches the Formation's lead Marauder lower it's speed and fall back into the middle of the formation, as another goes down in flames while it's crew bails out.
>He sighs and slightly moves the throttle to move his own craft ahead.
"Might of Macharius is now Formation Lead, keep your eyes in a swivel boys, we're still twenty to target."

witnessed
>she looks as if she's turning green but turns around at word drink
oh boy do I drink,
>she's grinning now.

>He'd give a soft nod of his head. That smile still plastered upon his face.

You and the rest of the remaining forces are to be deployed to assist the 3rd and 7th infantry companies anyways.

>The 5 Tankers shrug and keep working on repairing their vehicle.

>The 3rd company commander would grimace at the reports.
>Half of 7th was down, or had gone rogue, and a sixth of 3rd was now offically out of the fight.
>He'd let out a loud huff at the news from 7th. Those fucking Penals weren't worth the trouble of outfitting and shipping them here. So good riddense to bad rubbish.
>... still... this news meant his company's left flank was dangerously unguarded. Anf the fact that two squads of scions were holding back the tide of heretics to the south wasn't exactly something he enjoyed hearing.

>a Red Corsaire Marine would be nervously waddling up and down his chambers
" THE FOOLS, THEY THINK THEY KNOW OUR THOUGHTS, OUR ACTIONS, THAT THEY ARE LEADING US ON A PATH BUT IT IS US WHOSE PATH THEY THREAD ON! UUUUS!"
>his advisor would listen to all of this
"Did you take your medicine, sire?"
"I DID NOT TAKE YOUR ONIONS, PURPLE BEAN! AND STOP LICKING THOSE TOENAILS, WE NEED A NEW PLAN OF ATTACK!"
>he'd look at the map of the planet
"SO MANY PLACES, YET NO RIGHT CHOICE"
"We could attack the imperial guard that-"
"NO RIGHT CHOICE! WE ASK THE PARROT!"
>he points to a sack of salt, before throwing some dice at it
"WHAT DOES IT SAY"
>The advisor would 'inspect' the dice
"We send the orks to the line"
"FINE...SEND IN THE SPAGGHETI SEAMEN"

>Fritz has a massive grin

Fritz: "We should get some drinks together when we get back."

>He nods

Jaemis: "Thank you, sir. I will deploy immediately!"

>He gives a final salute before getting into his tank, speaking into the vox to all of the 6th armored company.

Jaemis: "To all personnel of the 6th armored company. This is Lieutenant Jaemis, your new boss. We have orders to enter Heretexia and support the 3rd and 7th infantry companies..."

>He proceeds to give out orders to whom should go to which infantry company, placing himself and two chimeras to support the 3rd infantry company.

>They are deploying to their area now

>Still... The heretics had atleast pulled back for the moment. That was at least a slight comfort at this point.
>He'd rub the gunk and debris out of his bad eye. Flicking the gunk into the ground below him, as he continued to think.
>With the Red Corsair's controlling the skies, there was no way of bringing in allied air support from the Skiitarii or one of the other unlucky regiments to be put to work fighting the enemies of man on this barren rock of a planet.

>winks at Fritz
that's if we survive but you've got yourself a deal.

>Suddenly, three Sky talons come down from the sky
>A vox signal comes in

Jaemis: "I saw you needed some help. Thought I would lend a hand. By the way, your south is pretty open. How're you doing, Jericho?"

>As he says this, two of the sky talons go to the left to protect the exposed area while Jaemis goes to the south to support the Scions

>Still... atleast what they were dealing with currently was better than Orks.

>Is released from infirmary, barely recognizable from under bandages, stichwork and a crude mechanical exoskeleton

>Two of the sky talons go to the left to drop off the Chimeras to protect the exposed area

>The CO grunts into the vox.

As bout as well as it can be with no armour to support us down here.

Next time you idiots decide to.go.and attack a ship with a bunch of tanks. Let me know in advance, so I can shot myself in the head before hand.

Jaemis: "Yeah, you can thank Guerra for that ingenious planning. Then again, he was good as dead last I saw him."

>The Sky talon settles down and allows the Russ to exit
>The Russ hails the scions before joining them in the defense
>Jaemis looks to Diane

Jaemis: "Diane, I need you to man the turret for a bit. We'll switch places once you tire, ok?"

>looks up at him and nods
sure thing, where's the trigger?

>Upon hearing the engines of an aircraft above them. Malak and the other Scions would quickly hide amongst the rubble near them. Prepared to spring their ambush upon the enemy.
>When the Sky Talon deploys a tank however. That's when they start to worry.
>When they realise that the driver and crew are from their own regiment, that's when they show themselves.

Nice to see you boys in the 6th finally decided to show up. Even if it is only of you.

>The Formation is 10 minutes out from the objective now and things are going.....smoothly.

...

By the way...---
>He'd motion towards the some 600 enemy corpses, and half a dozen various tanks.
---Don't mind the bodies. They're just our neighbours looking to borrow a cup of sugar.

>5 large diggas would bust out of the ground, gray with green stripes
>"WE'Z BEEN REEZUREKTED N' SUCH" a voice screams
>out of 4 large groups of orks, covered in heavy armour, painted grey-green, would come out, led by a Boss with a giant nekkie smashin' stikk
>Some would be welded into an iron caste and carried around by gretchin to give the appearance of floating
>and out of one a squiggoth with triangles painted on the sides would come out
>no gauss cannon but next best thing: cannon powered by gretchin with explosives strapped on

Rolled 12 (1d20)

shit.
>opens fire on the squiggoth.

Rolled 13 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

Jaemis: "Well they aint baking no cake while we still stand, thats for sure."

>He chuckles

Jaemis: "When you open the hatch and get your upper body in position, you'll find it right under the main cl....."

>Hears all of this

Jaemis: "RIGHT UNDER THE MAIN CLIP! NOW GO QUICK WE NEED SOME FIRE POWER!"

>He targets the cannon powered by gretchin
>Rolling with bonus because reacting quickly

Rolled 1 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>Upon seeing the Ork horse before him. Jericho's one good eye would widen in shock and anger.

ORKS! WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ORKS!?!

>Hed let out a sigh before ordering the 3rd company to hold the line at all costs!
>He'd fire his bolt pistol into the lead orks. +1 for pure, unbridled fury against orks

>Joins the line and starts shooting at the greenskins

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>The young Corporal curses her luck upon seeing the horde of Greenskins before her.
>Using the Autocannon before her, she as well as a buddy of her's, begin firing into the crowd of orks.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

I could have sworn I rolled the dice...

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>The men and woman of third company open fire upon the Horde of orks.
>Various autocannon emplacements, grenade launchers, and plasma weaponry fireing at them.

Rolled 19, 16, 2, 16, 12 = 65 (5d20)

>the hit would permamently damage the cannon
>the mech running it would look sad, before going on and grabbing the gretchins by hand and throwing them at the tank
>the Squiggoth would yell angrily
"E'Z MILDLY UPSET AT YE"
>the hits would scratch off tge warboss' paint
"OI, DIS IZ NEW N' SHINY"
>he and the rest of the on-foot squads would charge at them, shooting
>rolling 1 for gretchin explosive impact, other for squads shooting at the guard

I really miss my steadholder...
>takes cover as he tries to figure out how to lasgun

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>the blast would rock and shake the tank, knocking Diane from her place and forcing her to the roll along the ground.
>drawing her hand cannon she would take aim at the WAAGH BOSS and fire.

>a hole in realspace opens and three ships emerge into the materium
>the ships match the profile of space marine strike cruisers, but display an eight pointed star as their heraldry
>they contact the bridge crew of
We are the Vermillion Claws, and we claim this world as our own. Bow down in reverence or die standing.

>The tank shakes furiously from the Gretchins explosive impact.
>Jaemis Swears under his breath before he gets to man the turret.
>Rolling first for the bolter turret, and second for the tanks missile, both aimed at the charging orks

Jaemis: "DIANE! YOU OK!?"

Rolled 13, 15, 3 = 31 (3d20)

>Jericho would curse loudly in a mixture of three different feralnworld languages at his luck. The damn gun is broken, so he soends this turn looking for a new one. -1 dice this turn.
>Melissa's hands are numb from firing the Autocannon, but nevertheless, she continues firing. 1st roll.
>The rest of the company begins firing their various grenade launchers, plasma guns/cannons, and other weaponry at the Ork horde. 2nd, 3rd rolls+ 2 due to sheer volume of fire power.

Rolled 12, 6 = 18 (2d20)

>looking up at him she gives him a quick thumbs up before punching a grot in the face.

>The Formation successfully delivers it's bombs, losing only a few more Marauders during the strike.
>The end result being: A Corsairs staging area disappearing from existence.


>Catching wind of the clusterfuck with the Squiggoth however, the Formation Leader breaks off, heading for the new target with a pair of Thunderbolts.

Rolled 6, 12 = 18 (2d20)

>Upon noticing the Strike cruiser from the Vermilion Claws join the fray. Several ships would disengage their cureent targets, and make their way towards them, firing everything they have, just as a message is sent to their lead vessel.

What you say is untrue heretic! This planet is a holy site of the great Omnissiah! And we shall protect it, and it's treasures with our lives!

Rolled 17, 12, 2 = 31 (3d20)

>some of the mechanicus fleet's shots ring true, but none make it through the Claws' shields
I was not speaking to you, corpse-worshipper. Launch boarding torpedoes.
Three dice for three salvoes.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>Does his best to lasgun

Rolled 7, 6, 2, 13, 14 = 42 (5d20)

>The lead mechanicum ships. Already damaged from the day long fleet battle. Would take a direct hit to its engines.
>A small chain of explosions rocket through some of the other ships, but the battle group ultimately holds together.

>The battle group would fire several Salvos at the approaching striker cruisers. All of which are aimed towards the lead ship. 5 dive coming at you with a +2 to all rolls due to sheer firepower being launched.

Boarding torps.

>as Corsaire captain
"WE CLAIMED IT FIRST! NO BACKSIES!"
>sticks his tongue out as they send battleships to deal with the mess
(First roll)
>meanhwile, the combined efforts of men and wo en would blow up a whole group of orks into an array of chunks and colours, mildly damaging another
>Ragaa would kill one by himself
>the Boss, enraged by paint scratching, would start bashing the IG all over (second roll)
>His troops would keep shooting maniacally, and Ragaa (3-5th roll)
>the Squiggoth, now properly enraged, would charge at the tank (6th roll)

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>The lead ships engines are not hit, (as I fucking misread it). But the boarding torpedos do reach their target.roling for crew to resist.

Rolled 4, 13, 4, 17, 17, 3 = 58 (6d20)

>Gets hit by some of the dakka
>Most of it is deflected by his armor, but several shots hit properly and hard
>He is knocked to the ground, wounded

Rolled 18, 2 + 5 = 25 (2d20 + 5)

>The squiggoth charges slowly
>The Tank starts to backpeddle
>It unleashes another barrage with the bolter turrent and cannon, targeting the squiggoth
>bonus because big target

>the initial attack is beaten back, but it takes more than combat servitors to defeat space marines
>the ships make a circle to better defend from all sides

Rolled 11, 13, 19, 7 = 50 (4d20)

>Several members of the company go down in a blaze of gunfire. But they do not suffer enough for their firing to diminish.

>Jericho, having found a dead man's lasguns, begins to finally fight back., Taking pot shots at random orks. 1st roll.
>Melissa decides to switch things up, and fires against the Ork warboss with her Autocannon. 2nd, +3 since it's a fucking Autocannon fucking you up.
>The rest of the company begins firing against the Squigoth, hopeing to take the monster down. 3rd, 4th roll at +5 for combined might of hundreds of soldiers.

>the bullets and explosives rip the squiggoth's side open as it begins tumbling down
>the mech riding it would leap atop the tank and start tearing in
"THAT WAS ME BESTEST FRIND!"(1 roll)
>the warboss would recieve a bullet straight through the chest
"AAAAAGH!"
>he'd dash at Melissa(2 rolls)
>one group of boyz would be nearly extinct, fightin 'arder than ever(5 rolls)

Rolled 2, 15, 9, 7, 11 = 44 (5d20)

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>Takes cover before taking another shot

Rolled 13, 16, 2, 15, 12 = 58 (5d20)

>With the red corsairs firing upon the claws strike crusiers, the battle group attempts to follow suite, and surround the lead ship. Firing upon it in hopes of freeing up the mechanicum vessel. 4 dice since the mechanicum vessel is attempting to beat back space marine hordes.
>The ship being boarded attempts to continue to hold back the space marine hordes. Last dice at +2 since it did pretty well last time.

Rolled 20 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>Jaemis aims the turret
>He silently pulls the trigger
>Bonus because he is right on the tank and point blank with the turret

>A ship comes out of warp-space.
>"Cap'n we reached destination."
Are you certain?
>"See for yourself, cap'n, the Red Corsairs are here."
Among many other ships... it truly must be a great treasure...
>"Shall we attack?"
No... we'll wait and lurk for now... when our prey becomes vulnerable... and when the treasure is uncovered... we will hunt.

I'll be lurking... soon I'l be able to post.

Rolled 9, 16, 3 = 28 (3d20)

>Melissa's gunner would be killed, forcing her to back step, and leave the autocannon. -1dice for this turn.
>The rest of the company is fine due to lack.of.orks firing upon them.

>Jericho, seeing the Ork warboss near him, and attacking an unarmed trooper, would chrge the Ork with his power fist in hand. 1st roll
>Melisa is unarmed right now, and will need a turn to deal with that.
>The rest of the company, seeing that the Ork warboss is so close, turns everything they have against him. Last two rolls, with +2 for sheer volume of guns, but for careful aiming.