ITT: If you were able to visit your 18 year old self, what advice would you give?

This

Don't smoke weed and drink dump atm gf keep coding get a job asap save 1/2 of salary keep it on account and invest in *something* in a year or two.

Crypto isn't a fad you fucking retard get out of the stock market

take the bullet for her

I'm 18 right now. I'm already telling my current self to buy more LINK.

Don't chase a bitch, chase a check.

and fuck other peoples opinions, do what you feel it the right thing and do it.

put all the wasted student loans when you pulled yourself out of the grave in grad school, quit instead and invest all your money in ether instead and become bench chemist

/g/ Was right bitcoin isint a meme!!! and just do whatever it is u were also going to do anyway

Don't tap the kid on the shin 3 years from now and get suspended for simple assault

Take Integral calc at community college and focus on your database class

Bust your ass on your first programming job because there was more to learn

Buy LTC, ETH, XMR etc etc at x dates

By buying food I mean eating out every day

Also if I gave myself actual instructions on btc I'd probably believe it and go all in. I'm 25 now. If 32 year old me came to me and said "Bro do this that and this and you'll be a millionaire." I'd do exactly as I told myself to do.

Seconding that following advice part. I've been committed to listening to future me ever since I watched Back to the Future 2

do whatever it takes to get money for plastic surgery and try to get good looking

It's literally the only thing that matters in life and the only metric that people judge you by. Everything else, money etc is compensation

Ignore anyone telling you anything about morality and society and all of that bullshit. Don't be a psychopathic prick as you sometimes have the urge to be when people piss you off, continue to just ghost on them when it reaches that stage, you will never regret that and it is a great way to limit your commitments.
Stop spending money on the hedonic treadmill.
Read more books, indulge your curiosity, ruthlessly purge anyone that suggests you are overdoing it.
Do not cater to ordinary people when it comes to business, they have no value to actually provide you with even if you meet all of their requests. They are just there to use you.
Disregard politics, it is toxic bullshit, focus on value above all else, accrue and control it. You'll see every opportunity that you can exploit immediately if this is your first lens for viewing the world.
Stop martyring yourself because other idiots think you can be exploited for their value, they'll pretend that agreements were made that meant something other than they actually were, or didn't mean what they actually did, everything will be retrospectively re-evaluated so that the social monkey manages to end up on the better side of the deal. Purge people as soon as they do this from your life, draw those that stick to the letter and spirit of the deal closer and work with them extensively, They're your natural team.
Don't think you can find the place you've been propagandised to believe the world should be like if only you look hard enough. The entire planet is to a lesser or greater extent the same. You only get around it by making yourself immune to it and operating under the radar.

Oh and last of all, as much as you hate men? Women are at the very least exactly as bad, probably worse. You *need* to get rid of the pedestal complex growing up with only a sister and mother instilled in you. The shit they told you about women was a complete fucking lie, and the scary shit your dad told you about them was pretty much on point. They're effectively pets. Make sure they don't piss on the carpet and remember their nature at all times, and you'll do fine.

Dont lend your brother the laptop for school.