Give me your best weird, obscure Judaic lore. If you can source it that'd be best, but it's not necessary

Give me your best weird, obscure Judaic lore. If you can source it that'd be best, but it's not necessary.

I'm running a game where the players are the leaders of a tribe of Israelites trying to find a new promised land. I want to flesh it out with proper lore to make it more immersive, but I also want to put in things that the players most likely wouldn't know about OOC.

Other urls found in this thread:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tefillin
jhom.com/topics/voice/magid.htm
unsongbook.com/
eteacherbiblical.com/articles/tzadikim-nistarim
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akdamut)
apocalypse-world.com/forums/index.php?topic=7624.0
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_angelic_hierarchy
crcweb.org/kosher_articles/kosher_sushi.php
come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_59.html
come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_57.html
come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_54.html
come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_55.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

The concept of Golems is Jewish.

Well huh. This is an odd thread for 2am.

I have always loved the story of the Oven of Akhnai.

>If a man made an oven out of separate coils of clay, placing one upon another, then put sand between each of the coils, such an oven, R. Eliezer declared, is not susceptible to defilement, while the sages declared it susceptible.

>It is taught: On that day R. Eliezer brought forward every imaginable argument, but the Sages did not accept any of them. Finally he said to them: "If the Halakhah is in accordance with me, let this carob tree prove it!" Sure enough the carob tree immediately uprooted itself and moved one hundred cubits, and some say 400 cubits, from its place.

>"No proof can be brought from a carob tree," they retorted.

>And again he said to them "If the Halakhah agrees with me, let the channel of water prove it!" Sure enough, the channel of water flowed backward.

>"No proof can be brought from a channel of water," they rejoined.

>Again he urged, "If the Halakhah agrees with me, let the walls of the house of study prove it!" Sure enough, the walls tilted as if to fall. But Rabbi Joshua rebuked the walls, saying, "When disciples of the wise are engaged in a halakhic dispute, what right have you to interfere?"

>Hence in deference to R. Joshua they did not fall and in deference to R. Eliezer they did not resume their upright position; they are still standing aslant.

>Again R. Eliezer then said to the Sages, "If the Halakhah agrees with me, let it be proved from heaven." Sure enough, a divine voice cried out, "Why do you dispute with R. Eliezer, with whom the Halakhah always agrees?"

>Rabbi Joshua stood up and protested, "The Torah is not in heaven! We pay no attention to a divine voice because long ago at Mount Sinai You wrote in your Torah, 'After the majority must one incline'."

Rabbi Nathan met the prophet Elijah and asked him, "What did the Holy One do at that moment?" Elijah said, "He laughed with joy, saying, 'My children have defeated Me, My children have defeated Me.' "

Is there any neat stuff about Golems aside from the instructions in their heads? And the fact that they're basically big stompy robots.

That's perfect! Got any more? Thanks user.

Look into Kabbalah, the Jewish school of mysticism. The sephiroth, the tree of life, a bunch of trippy descriptions of celestial beings. Really cool stuff.

Also phylacteries!

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tefillin

>That's perfect! Got any more? Thanks user.

Sorry, it's on the very fringe of my expertise. You might have better luck asking But this site, where I lifted+edited the story above, has some very interesting tidbits scattered about. jhom.com/topics/voice/magid.htm

And I'm sure your local university or independent bookstore has some commentaries and source texts you could add to your reading list.

Oy vey!

That'll be 50 shekels per tale, goy...

My bubby says if you recite the shema right before dying you'll wake up in the presence of G-d

Oh and never name a baby after an old person, the angel of death may get confused

Don't whistle indoors, you'll attract demons

In our best tradition, the bible quote is extremely out of context. It's a good story, though, even if a lot of people can't read the subtext about how best to manage the legal system in the Diaspora.

Soooo ashkenazi. I think older stuff (from the Talmudic period and earlier) makes better campaign material. But then again, I'm a semi-orthoprax Jew with a moderate grounding in Jewish history, and OP's players probably aren't.

Old school angels are always fun. Covered in a thousand eyes head to toe so they always see when someone dies in the world, 50 ft. tall and made entirely of burning chains.

There's a tonne of good/weird demons and mythological creatures you could use as well. A member of the tribe is possessed by a Dybbuk, accidentally walking over a sleeping Re'em thinking that it's a hill, and if you're feeling creative I'm sure you could figure out something to do with a Šulak (stroke/epilepsy causing shit demon).

unsongbook.com/

According to some kabbalistic traditions, golems start as clay but become flesh once animated, as the act of creation mimics God raising Adam from the earth. Further, they state that golems in shapes other than humans can be created. Since these animal golems are outside of the normal cycle of life they are inherently pure, meaning that their flesh is kosher no matter what they might resemble. So it's not treif to eat pork, so long as it's pork that you created through usurping god's domain as the creator of life.

>So it's not treif to eat pork, so long as it's pork that you created through usurping god's domain as the creator of life.

well that seems mildly unwholesome even so

Scott Alexander should stick to his day job(s).

It is from a pig homonculus (porcinculus??) I swear, it's bacon kosher!

There's a really fun part of SoS's lore where the cosmology is implied to be Judeo-Christian, and the "gods" of the setting are two Thrones (mid-tier angels) who got stuck with the task of watching over the place because nobody more important could be bothered.

Wait.

So would cloned or vat-grown pork be kosher, by the same logic?

Tell me stuff about the "36 just Jews" thing. Sounds like a juicy plot hook.

actually, the reason Pork is not kosher is because it lacks some of the three requirements for a mammal to be kosher: it must have split hooves, it must be Ruminant and it cannot be carnivorus. that's why a goat is kosher, but a horse is not

This cracks me up, because it reads like the oldest account of rules-lawyering in history. Or at least a very ancient account.
God is performing miracles right then and there to show that this guy is right, and the other guys just go "Well, a tree has no right to speak at this assembly, thus voiding any proof brought forth by it."
And then it ends with God shouting "HE'S RIGHT YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS, WHAT MORE DO YOU FUCKING WANT?"

I heard by this definition, giraffe is kosher.

But the important response to that is, "You gave us the RAW at Mount Sinai and no erratas or FAQs will be accepted as that would disprove God's perfection."

Also, I can't recall if this story is tied to why modern Judaism does not pray for nor accepts miracles.

who decided that though

why make it so arbitrary

King Solomon built a throne with eagle wings that could fly to any world, including heaven and the land of the dead.

Anyone not of G-D's chosen people is cattle, not worth even one yiddish fingernail, and can be swindled at leisure.

Oy vey!

Now I have the urge to travel back in time and give the jews a giraffe.

essentially they're old hygiene laws, it's no coincidence that many religion's forbidden foods are also the ones which you had a good chance of getting a disease from before proper treatments existed.

Also anyone that's not a Jew will try to kill you or banish you.

I'm very sensitive of your racial intolerance, my nigga

The Tzadikim Nistarim or the hidden reighteous ones are group of 36 people who are so just that for their sake G-d does not destroy the world, (much like like the 50 righteous that were subposed to be in Sodom and Gomorragh. Hey, that got me thinking, why 50 when even 40 was used as a shorthand for a whole lot, Why a specifed few too many over a whole lot? ) they justify humankind in His eyes. Nobody, not even temslves or another know they´re other and if somebody brags he is one, it is proof it can´t be so, because he isn´t humble and perfect enough. They can also reveal themselves in a time of crisis and one of them might be the next Messiah. And if one of the 36 realizes he is one of them, he dies and another,somewhere,replaces him and if there is no one righteous enough, the world ends.

The idea that there are 36 is because 18 gematrically spells out life (I tought 8 meant life, maybe it is something to do with Hebrew grammar, like it means "living" instead and the participle adds extra value) and they have two lives, one civil and the other sacred adn hidden their life becomes doubled.
Source eteacherbiblical.com/articles/tzadikim-nistarim Also Borges wrote abou them in his Book of imaginary being, Which is a fun little miscellany of of fatastical and mythlogical beings from all over the world, some actually mythological, others made up.

I think usurping the act of creation just to eat kosher pork can´t be worth it, G-d gotta be real angry. Also according the religious poem Akdamut Milin en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akdamut) the Leviahan is a kosher fith, and once the world ends the Mussiah returns and so on , the righteous will feat on a female levithan which was orginally the mate of the Leviathan described in Job, but G-d destroyed her, so they wouldn´t get to breed because their children´d cause havoc.

>God himself screams out to the elders
>The elders are just like "you stay out of this!"

I remember a joke going like that. Is this the origin?

Something about David, the one who slew the Giant Goliath also banishing ghosts with his Lyre.

18 is the gematric value of the letter combination Khet-Yod, pronounced "Khye" (rhymes with rye). It means "living". Hebrew grammar doesn't really correspond very well to English grammar when it comes to stuff like this, but that's basically it.

>once the world ends the Mussiah returns and so on , the righteous will feat on a female levithan which was orginally the mate of the Leviathan described in Job, but G-d destroyed her, so they wouldn´t get to breed because their children´d cause havoc.

Yup. According to Hebrew folklore, Leviathan (and possibly Ziz and Behemoth) was created with a mate, like all creatures, but someone pointed out to Him that if the leviathans were to breed their race would consume the world, so God killed the female. The male's hated God ever since and became a force of destruction in revenge.

You're in luck.

Sanhedrin 59a

To communicate anything to a Goy about our religious relations would be equal to the killing of all Jews, for if the Goyim knew what we teach about them, they would kill us openly.

Libbre David 37

A Jew should and must make a false oath when the Goyim asks if our books contain anything against them.

Szaaloth-Utszabot, The Book of Jore Dia 17

We beg Thee, O Lord, indict Thy wrath on the nations not believing in Thee, and not calling on Thy name. Let down Thy wrath on them and inflict them with Thy wrath. Drive them away in Thy wrath and crush them into pieces. Take away, O Lord, all bone from them. In a moment indict all disbelievers. Destroy in a moment all foes of Thy nation. Draw out with the root, disperse and ruin unworthy nations. Destroy them! Destroy them immediately, in this very moment!

When a Jew has a Gentile in his clutches, another Jew may go to the same Gentile, lend him money and in turn deceive him, so that the Gentile shall be ruined. For the property of a Gentile, according to our law, belongs to no one, and the first Jew that passes has full right to seize it.

Schulchan Aruch, Choszen Hamiszpat 156

If it can be proven that someone has given the money of Israelites to the Goyim, a way must be found after prudent consideration to wipe him off the face of the earth.

Choschen Hamm 388, 15

Happy will be the lost of Israel, whom the Holy One, blessed be He, has chosen from amongst the Goyim, of whom the Scriptures say: "Their work is but vanity, it is an illusion at which we must laugh; they will all perish when God visits them in His wrath." At the moment when the Holy One, blessed be He, will exterminate all the Goyim of the world, Israel alone will subsist, even as it is written: "The Lord alone will appear great on that day!...

Zohar, Vayshlah 177b

Has it not been taught: "With respect to robbery -- if one stole or robbed or [seized] a beautiful woman, or [committed] similar offences, if [these were perpetrated] by one Cuthean ["Cuthean" or "Samaritan" = goy/gentile/heathen/non-Jew] against another, [the theft, etc.] must not be kept, and likewise [the theft] of an Israelite by a Cuthean, but that of a Cuthean by an Israelite may be retained?" But if robbery is a capital offence, should not the Tanna have taught: He incurs a penalty? -- Because the second clause wishes to state, "but that of a Cuthean by an Israelite may be retained," therefore the former clause reads, "[theft of an Israelite by a Cuthean] must not be kept." But where a penalty is incurred, it is explicitly stated, for the commencing clause teaches: "For murder, whether of a Cuthean by a Cuthean, or of an Israelite by a Cuthean, punishment is incurred; but of a Cuthean by an Israelite, there is no death penalty?"

Sanhedrin 57a
[Translation: A Jew may rob a Goy, but a Goy may not rob a Jew. If a Goy murders another Goy or a Jew, he should be killed, but a Jew will not be incur the death penalty for killing a non-Jew.]

Kill the Goyim by any means possible.

Choshen Ha'mishpat 425:50

I would unironically play that. Are there rules somewhere?

Extermination of the Christians is a necessary sacrifice.

Zohar, Shemoth

Tob shebbe goyyim harog - Even the best of the Goyim (Gentiles) should be killed.

Soferim 15, Rule 10
[NB: Hoffman says, "This passage is not from the Soncino edition but is from the original Hebrew of the Babylonian Talmud as quoted by the 1907 Jewish Encyclopedia, published by Funk and Wagnalls and compiled by Isidore Singer, under the entry, 'Gentile,' (p. 617)." Another source says this passage is at Avodah Zara 26b. We have not been able to verify any of these references. It does not seem to be at Avodah Zara 26b of the Soncino edition.]

What is [the meaning of] Mount Sinai? The mountain whereon there descended hostility [sin'ah ] toward idolaters [non-Jews].

Shabbath 89a

Jehovah created the non-Jew in human form so that the Jew would not have to be served by beasts. The non-Jew is consequently an animal in human form, and condemned to serve the Jew day and night.

Midrasch Talpioth, p. 225-L

Everything a Jew needs for his church ritual no goy is permitted to manufacture, but only a Jew, because this must be manufactured by human beings and the Jew is not permitted to consider the goyim as human beings.

Schulchan Oruch, Orach Chaim 14, 20, 32, 33, 39

A Jew may do to a non-Jewess what he can do. He may treat her as he treats a piece of meat.

Hadarine, 20, B; Schulchan Aruch, Choszen Hamiszpat 348

A Jew may violate but not marry a non-Jewish girl.

Gad. Shas. 2:2

A boy-goy after nine years and one day old, and a girl after three years and one day old, are considered filthy.

Pereferkowicz, Talmud t.v., p. 11

R. Joseph said: Come and hear! A maiden aged three years and a day may be acquired in marriage by coition [intercourse], and if her deceased husband's brother cohabits with her, she becomes his. The penalty of adultery may be incurred through her; [if a niddah] she defiles him who has connection with her, so that he in turn defiles that upon which he lies, as a garment which has lain upon [a person afflicted with gonorrhoea].

Sanhedrin 55b

Rab said: Pederasty with a child below nine years of age is not deemed as pederasty with a child above that. Samuel said: Pederasty with a child below three years is not treated as with a child above that.24 (24) I.e., Rab makes nine years the minimum; but if one committed sodomy with a child of lesser age, no guilt is incurred. Samuel makes three the minimum.

Sanhedrin 54b

If not, then someone needs to write them.

I mean, God did kill his waifu.

You don't fuck with a man's wife. You especially don't fuck with a man by killing his wife.

I just realized this: ,if the female was killed in the times of Job (I think she was, it is not mentioned in the Bible itself but in some rabbinial comnetary) and will be eaten only at the end of days, does that mean it now is a piece of meat stuck somewhere in a heavenly freezer?
What a plot hook for a legendary heist.

Shtetl World is a Powered by the Apocaplypse game set in a 19th cent. shtetel (jewish community) in Poland, based on trading tokens that reprent the kinds of action you make, for example you need a strong token to make a "strong"action that significantly afects the situation, which you can get be letting yourself be affected by another´s strong action or by giving into your character´s flaws for the sake of drama.
I don´t know I haven´t actually played it, but have a link: apocalypse-world.com/forums/index.php?topic=7624.0

It could be stuck on an earthly freezer.

I mean, there's something solid on the antarctic. Could be a dead giant squid.

I do wonder who woke up one day and decided to make that game

has god ever claimed to be perfect?

Jew here.

My Grandfather has been studying Kabbalah for 50 years, and I've been studying under him unofficially for almost 5.

AMA

Yes, but the assumption is that since humans aren't perfect they can't always understand why he'd appear not to be.

Are the Jews really supposed to kill all the gentiles like that guy above is saying?

No, that's all bullshit. I'm actually half-way through a post refuting much of it.
Closest you ever see to that is in the actual bible, when Joshua tells the Israelites that they must destroy the nation of Amalek. You know, because they were actually at war with them.
Chances are tho that the nation of Amalek never existed in the first place, and if they did, they don't exist anymore.

See though, now we don't know who's right. One of those quotes was also "Lie if they ask" so if he says yes, is he being ironic or breaking religious law, and if he says no, is he lying or being truthful?

Food for thought

which is your favorite archangel?
could the flesh of a golem be used as a sacrifice if the Temple was regained?
I know sephirot are gendered; why and how- and does this imply anything about G-d being gendered/dualistic?
which sephirot makes the cutest anime waifu?
do people constantly ask you for your opinion on the modern state of Israel?
why did you get into kabbalah?

the thing is jews get killed pretty much all the time by pretty much everyone. even christians are allowed to lie about their religion in times of danger (end of story of Namaan iirc), and jews are pretty much always in danger historically.

I was always taught to tell it to their faces, because what are they gonna do? Kill me? Congrats, you've done me a favor by killing me, now i can go to Jesus with a clean heart because my last words weren't a lie. Also recall Peter did the same and it was considered a massive failing of his.

>And then it ends with God shouting "HE'S RIGHT YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS, WHAT MORE DO YOU FUCKING WANT?"
Valid arguments.

How does one go about studying Kabbalah.

What's your spellcaster level progression like?

Anyone have the sauce on jewish ritual murder of goy infants?

Raphael is a pretty cool angel. He oversees healing, and is invoked often in Kabbalistic meditation.

Possibly, but mostly just to err on the side of caution. We know for certain that cows and chickens are kosher. We're not entirely sure if golems are kosher, since they didn't exist during the temple period.

The three Sephirot on the right are considered male/masculine, and the three on the left are considered female/femenine. The rest are genderless. This implies nothing on God's gender or lack thereof

That depends entirely on what you look for in a waifu. Interestingly enough, there's an archangel for each sephira, so I'd imagine that judging the archangels on waifu-tier would be a good way to find out their associated sephira. you can find these 10 angels here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_angelic_hierarchy
Haniel and Jophiel seem like good choices

Not often, but I do get asked about it a lot. This may be surprising, but I have quite a few nat-soc/alt-right friends, and we see eye to eye on a lot. I think that every nation should have at least one ethnostate, where they don't need to be afraid of their culture and heritage being subsumed by any other.

I got into Kabbalah mostly because of my Grandfather. He's wise, kind, and funny like no man I've ever met. As an example, even though he's diabettic and has a notorious love for sweet food, he doesn't use insulin: he controls his diet through sheer force of will alone. I sincerely love that man, and I hope I can be even half the man he is when I grow up.


I'm not 100% sure, since I was lucky enough to have my Grandfather. I'm pretty sure you can take courses/go to Kabbalistic groups, although I'd strongly avoid Madonna-esque Age of Aquarius bullshit. You can also read some Kabbalistic texts online on your own, but a lot of those works are dense AF;studying it on your own without prior knowledge is a difficult.

Book of Vile Darkness page 26 :^)

Thanks for the advice.

I have a theory
Every major religion, including natives of the americas, have one big hoohah god, and many smaller servants, be it angels, or lesser gods. So perhaps every religion has seen one single god and his followers, but we have different ways of portraying him, as filtered through our cultures.

What should I do if I want to study jewish scripture?

Whats the difference between the Kabbalah, the Torah and the Talmud?

Maybe you think like this because we're not shown many eastern or pagan politheistic religions.

Closest we "western dudes" can get are the ancient Greeks (that kinda had Zeus running the show) and Egyptians (that had Ra). Personal example, Orthodox Christianity has many saints and you usually pray to saints (which specialize within their small niches/domains, like Farming/Travel/War) and angels alongside God, because slavs used to be pagans and Christianity had to be modified.

I don't know Indian and other religions well enough; do they have multiple major gods, or all equal gods? Though it makes a lot of sense that humans would put a highest god on a totem pole, simplifies hierarchy.

Torah=5 first books of the bible, Jews attribute them special importance
Talmud=a vast body of Jewish lore composed throughout the ages, including legal precedents and advice, philosophical debates, theological treatises and folklore
Kabbalah=Jewish mysticism, a so called "secret" body of lore which really focuses mostly on attaining oneness with God and other mystical bullshit but little kids will get all crazy over because IT'S TOTALLY ABOUT CONTROLLING ANGELS AND DEMONS, MAN

I want to study the Talmud and explore Kabbalah.
Where do I start with the Talmud?
Can you study Kabbalah from a book?

OK, /pol/tards aside here. And let's face it, this topic is a b8 fiesta.

A good source is a 25 year old article in White Wolf magazine called "golems and gematria" which actually does a decent job of describing general jewish belief and practice as applied to an RPG setting.

If you want a level of autism that Veeky Forums aspires to but will never achieve, then try this. It's a discussion by the Chicago Rabbinical Council on whether or not sushi is kosher. That should give you some ideas. crcweb.org/kosher_articles/kosher_sushi.php

As for your game concept... the key problem is the phrase "new promised land". Jews are simply never going to accept that. No matter how desolate, dangerous, and surrounded by enemies, the Jewish homeland will always be Israel. Jewish belief is that the contract made at Mount Sinai is "eternal and unbreakable". So while several groups have tried to sell the Jews on contract re-negotiation, it never works.

To some extent, that's why you get stories like this: which illustrates that the Sourcebook, so to speak, has been published and is not final and cannot be errata'd. In reality, Judaism has changed considerably over the millennia, but mighty empires like the Babylonians, Egyptians, Assyrians, Persians, Greeks, Romans, two waves of Turks and several waves of Christians, (not to mention fascism and communism) have made fun of that stubbornness... and then vanished while the Jews endure.

Look up the Nazarite Oath if you want a "strange/obscure" practice.

>Where do I start with the Talmud?

Orthodox Jews study it from a very young age, it literally comprises MOST OF WHAT THEY DO IN LIFE. It's like asking "where do I start with science?". You either need a more specific question, or you're gonna have to sign up for a Jewish school because that's way above my level of knowledge.

>Can you study Kabbalah from a book?

Well, it's "secret knowledge". Supposedly, if you find a book about it, it's clearly either false or it ain't got the whole story. You got to be taught it by a Jewish mystic. I mean, there are books OF knowledge recognized as Kabbalaic (Sepher Raziel, for example) but they read like magical grimoires filled with arcane symbols. Completely incomprehensible to someone without the tools to decipher them.

As an animist I can't help be fascinated by monotheism and its origins. My religion seems so simple, yours seems so complex.

I mean, i thought christianity was complicated, with its many sects and parables, but the Talmud is vast.

Is Judaism the only religious outlet for rational thinkers?

Closest thing to magic I know are a couple "spells" (more accurate to call them prayers) for good luck, good health, good dreams, and protection from curses, demons, and evil spirits.
Since these tend to be "spells" that you don't notice even when they work as intended, I can't accurately say how good I am at them. Suffice to say, I haven't been possessed by an evil spirit, so it's all going well.

Also, if anyone sees occult spells or rituals on /x/ or something, and you feel like trying it out, make sure its not dark magic. If it's a curse for misfortune or destruction on another, the effects will often be reflected back at you. Don't do it.


I've heard this theory before. I like it quite a bit.

The torah are the 5 main books of the Old Testament: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy. Then there are the Nevi-im and Ketubim, which are the other books in the Old Testament.

The Talmud is a written account of the Jewish Oral Law. the Oral Law is very important to Judasim: you can't understand the commands of the Torah without it. However, since it was Oral, it started to get forgotten over time, so it was written down into the Talmud. Problem is, there were inconsistencies between the rabbis and their accounts on the oral law. So, the Talmud is mostly debates between the various versions of the Oral Law, rather than the concrete understanding of it. The talmud is divided into two parts: the Mishnah (mainstream interpretations) and the Gemmarah (less-common interpretations).

Kabbalah is Jewish Mysticism, and focuses on knowledge rather the laws. In this way, its not actually that religious.

Don't study the Talmud. It's dense, boring, and the only people who will find it meaningful only dress in suits and black hats, and have sidelocks. Instead, look for certain Halacha (stories with morals)
The most famous book of the Kabbalah is the Zohar. It's a good place to start, although it is also itself dense.

The three pillars of Judaism: arguing with your contemporaries, arguing with your superiors, and arguing with God.

We're a religion of argumentative shitters, even our texts inevitably turn into arguments in the footnotes.

Sell me on animist; prayers, duties, churches/places of worship, rituals and so on.
Never heard of it, read up the wiki a bit, and it doesn't sound like a real, big, organized religion.

Guess monotheistic ones that survived till today have to be big and scary because they're so widespread and shit; and they had to guard their view of the faith and laws (and even then failed, see how many different kinds of christianity and muslims exist).

>no Veeky Forums, the jew was inside you all along

In science, you always start with astronomy. It not only captures the essence of what science is about, but it was also the first and possibly the most practical discipline ever studied.

I would actually start with Socratic argumentation and logic, if only because all the rest is founded on it. After that, mathematics.

Either God or somebody else. Why not be arbitrary? In Jewish thought, we have two kinds of mitzvot (commandments): mishpatim (lit. judgements), which are rules we understand the rationale for, and chukkim (statutes?) which are ones we don't. There's a whole lot in the latter category, kashrut being only one of them
Oh, fuck off. That's nonsense. "Goy" means nation or people, and is used for Jews and gentiles both in varying contexts. As for swimdling people, yeah, no. The only thing Jews are allowed to do to non-Jews but not to Jews that comes anywhere close is charge interest.
It is kosher but not generally eaten. There's a popular misconception that we don't know how to slaughter one (because kosher slaughter requires cutting between particular vertebrae), but that's wrong, we know where (since they have the same number of neck vertebrae as any other ruminant, just larger) there's just no real tradition of eating them, so why start now?

>Sell me on animist; prayers, duties, churches/places of worship, rituals and so on.

There aren't any.

Animism was practiced mostly by hunter-gatherer societies, it predates written history. As such, its mostly reconstructed from our interpretations of how those people lived and perceived the world.

If I were going to write down the "rules" or "tenets" of animism, it would basically boil down to 3 things.

1) Everything is alive. Not just people, plants and animals, but rocks, air, water, and even ideas.
2) Everything has a spirit. A spirit is a reflection of a things essential nature, it exists in parallel with the material world in the spirit world. A spirit can affect the material world in very real ways, and vice versa.
3) There aren't many "parables" as such, most native american teachings focus on animal spirits as archetypes, (You wouldn't say "a bear spirit, you would say, "The bear spirit", "Brother Bear" (christian mythos) or simply refer to the spirit as "Bear". they are taught through oral tradition and interactive storytelling. The myths themselves are subject to change and reinterpretation over time.

Personally, i find animism is mostly just about being aware of the world around you.

>Sanhedrin 59a
The Talmud is in the form of debates/discussions of various rabbis over the years. What you are quoting is one side of an argument, and it's the side that loses. It's stated at the top of the page, then the rest of the paragraph goes to disproving it
Proof: come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_59.html

>Sanhedrin 57a
This passage is confusing as hell. Even the Rabbis in it mention that they're not sure how to interpret it.
In the end, the law is finagled so that, while Jews don't get the death penalty for stealing from a gentile, this is only for very minor thefts that nobody would deserve death for (eating a grape from the field of the man you work for) and that there is still a punishment.
Proof: come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_57.html

>Shabbat 89a
This isn't anti-gentile and it isn't poetic: it's a historical account. The Idolaters that they're talking about are the isrealites who worshiped the Golden Calf, and refused to repent when Moses came down from Sinai. It's said that the earth swallowed them up and they were all slain; Sinai was literally the place where there descended hostility towards the idolaters.

>Sanhedrin 55b
Immediately after your quote, it says "If any of the forbidden decrees had intercourse with her, they are executed on her account. but she is exempt."
They're talking about betrothal, you numbskull.

>sanhedrin 54b
Pederasty with a child is banned. "Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with the lyings of a woman" an all that jazz.
What they're talking about here is whether a 3-year old or a 9-year old are physically able to consent, and therefore, if they are also punished (assuming that it's not obvious rape)


All other passages you mentioned...
>do not exist
>do not say that
>are taken out of context
>are not religiously binding
>any of the above
I have no desire or need to comment on them.

Forgot proofs
come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_54.html
come-and-hear.com/sanhedrin/sanhedrin_55.html

Philosophy isn't science.

I know a lot of people like to think it is, but it isn't. Western Philosophy is really just an endless wank, its meaningless garbage written by self important, pompous hacks.

Its a complete waste of time.

Sacrifices don't happen any more with the destruction of the temple.

Also, human sacrifice in Abrahamic religions traditionally only occurred with the purest and most treasured of people. See the almost sacrifice of Isaac, that guy who sacrificed his daughter and the Christian sacrifice of Jesus. Why would Jews sacrifice a cow with bad fur?

Jews were supposed to kill and conquer everybody (in Israel.) Since the diaspora the religion has a bunch of wankery in it that is inconclusive in what it means but generally just means that Jews do what they want.

Animism is also very literal.

When I say, "Everything is alive," or "Everything has a spirit," i do not mean that as metaphore, i mean it as literal fact.

Of course, if you DON'T study Niche, Locke, Socrates and all the rest, educated people will look down on you.

I call it the self congratulatory society

Yes :^)

Philosophy isn't science. So?

The study of and rumination on logic/information, even logic/information that is severely disconnected from the physical world, is still worthy of study.

Tell me, did I just describe Philosophy or Mathematics?


There are no human sacrifices in Judaism.
Fun fact, Abraham failed God's test when he almost sacrificed Isaac. He was supposed to refuse to God, just as he refused when God said he would destroy Sodom and Gemorah.
This is why God doesn't speak to Abraham in the bible after the 'sacrifice,' but speaks to Isaac instead.

The "wankery" is not inconclusive. Dina d'malkhuta dina: the law of the land is the law. If the Talmud says that people can marry at 13, and the country says they can only marry at 18, you marry at 18. There are no loopholes. Anything who acts otherwise should be ovened.

thank you for this.

I always knew you jews weren't so bad, but out of context some of these things sound pretty damning. Thanks for clearing that up.

>all of philosophy is postmodern wankery
See, this is how you know you don't actually know what you're talking about.

>the players are the leaders of a tribe of Israelites trying to find a new promised land.

This would be awesome if it was set in space!

There is some debate over whether or not Moses had horns growing out of his head. Michelangelo's statue of Moses has horns. It depends on the interpretation of a couple of verses in Exodus.

Explain Jephthah

Check out the game Homeworld; it's not about Jews but it's the same idea.

Only among Christians. Basically the word for "horns" is also the word for "rays", and not far in pronunciation from the word for "crowns". The generally accepted understanding is "rays of light" from his face, i.e. he had a halo.

Dude fucked up big-time, and there's disagreement as to whether his daughter was killed or basically became a nun.

Look bro.

I've read more philosophical works than I can count. Its always the same old shit. Some pompous windbag butchers the language for a solid couple of hours and arrives at a conclusion an 8th grader would find shallow.

Complex ideas are always conveyed better through metaphore and storytelling than they are through hamfisted attempts at redefining every aspect of existence as though you were the first one who ever thought of it.

As for math, philosophy and math are polar oppisites. I know trig, algebra and a little bit of calc, and 90% of what so called "pure math" people teach is bogus psuedo science.

Imaginary numbers have no place in science and engineering. And for the record, you can divide by zero.