ITT : signs your group is no fun allowed

We need to know this to properly judge you, user.

What was the memeword?

Doesn't take away from the point that the GM and the rest of the group shit all over a fun concept by straight up telling him
>no you can't

Even when fighting outside against other giants.

"Desu" and it was literally the only thing I said to even signal muhboardculture. Thing is I think the real reason he got all uptight was he just didn't want anymore players but he didn't know how to say "fuckoff we're full". That kind of womanly backhanded behavior steams my buns.

Shit. "Desu" isn't just a meme word, it's a weeb word. I can't blame him for getting gunshy.

Wolverine woman made me think of the Mutant, not the animal.

> he'll have to leave it outside when going into buildings since it'll be too long to even carry inside of buildings

That's the best part. Apparently this thing is going to weight like 160 pounds according to the DM, and if he can lift and use it then hell yes. Imagine it.

>Bad part of town
>Bunch of thugs laughing, weapons ready
>Head to a bar to rough the place up and threaten them into giving them drinks for free
>Fucking 15 foot sword sitting outside by the horses

Yeah I'd turn around.

no it was just faggotry considering I'd been going back and forth with him without issue being perfectly polite and nonmeemin

also Veeky Forums, arguably the biggest bedwetter board looking down on weebs, lel

Sometimes you have to put your foot down and say "No, you can't throw a house at them. I don't care if you have an 18 Strength. This isn't a superhero game. You can't jump across that river outside of town with an 18 dex, either. It's a hundred yards wide. And stop reading those fanfics about crawling into bodily orifices just because you have a high Escape Artist skill."

Damning someone with the "No fun allowed" tag just because they are running the game the way they want to is a bit much. The DM has probably put a lot of effort into running the game and if he isn't going to let you get high at the table and do outright stupid stuff for internal game consistency you should either live with it or leave.

In some settings, magic weapons can resize to their owner.

Fight fire with fire, fetish with fetish. would never work for me though. Nothing I like that my GM doesn't also like.

What edition are you playing.

Because in 3.5 you just take a -2 for fighting for inappropriately sized weapon and the effort increases.

Example You can't use a large greatsword at all

You CAN fight with a large longsword.

The monkey grip feat means you still eat the penalty but can still treat a large greatsword like a greatsword otherwise.

Except swinging a big, straight chunk of metal is very different than throwing a big object, which you can't grab a hold of correctly.

>tfw the caster is allowed to throw houses with telekinesis but you aren't allowed to lift a straight metal beam and hit someone with it
>tfw the caster is allowed to cast levitate and gust of wind to go over a river but you can't jump across it because you're a martial and fuck martials in the ass with a cactus right?

If you wanted balance, you shouldn't have played 3.5.

Martials should suck, they're just jocks and dudes with sticks. If you don't want to suck, don't play a martial.

I don't play 3.5

Doesn't mean that I can't get pissed off when GMs think they are oh so fucking good when they actually suck big hairy nutsacks on a regular

It may irk you that magic characters behave differently than martial characters. It doesn't bother me. Mages were kept under control with limited spell selection and magic resistant monsters in my day. Sometimes they were downright ineffectual. In return fighters couldn't behave like anime characters and swing swords bigger than they were.

>meme recipes

At least it's not "Tasty" which adds cheese to goddamn everything and always has about 5 too many ingredients.

Right because we all know how useless Gilgamesh was.

Man, I fucking love Gilgamesh.

this makes mustard gas

Gilgamesh was dope, he was also 3/4s god, not a common sword-swinging human. A dude who's just good at using weapons and wears armor should logically be inferior to someone who summons meteors from the sky, can kill with a word and transport himself across the world in the blink of an eye.

I don't think martial should suck, though. I believe the solution is to make warriors who channel ki/mana/whatever into non-gish shit. I'm talking hammer strokes with the force of battering rams, chopping meteors in two, the strength to suplex a t-rex. I wouldn't recommend that anybody play Exalted, but I think it did a good job of making martial types interesting and relevant, letting you be as good at hitting things with your sword as a sorcerer is at bending reality.

Also Gilgamesh is just a badass fucking name.

He's 2/3 god. I remember that very distinctly from school because that fraction makes no sense and the teacher was not able to explain how that was possible.

>not a common sword-swinging human
Neither is a level 5+ fighter. That's the point.

Above average man can carry a log twice his size on his shoulder. Try imagining that man strong enough to carry that log with ease. Now add 10ft of metal on one end and a weight to the other. Now grab that log in one hand. Can't do? Now try to wield it like a normal two-handed sword. Not able to do that either? Now hug that tree and swing it around. It would be cumbersome, unwieldy and generally would just leave you open if the opponent isn't a brain dead slug. That's why you can't fight with weapons that are over sized even if you had the strength to carry them.

Merlin and Circe were half-demons and they get held up as Paragons of the Wizard class.

E A T S H I T
A
T
S
H
I
T

Not to mention Gandalf was a fucking angel.

The 'martial archetypes are demigods so pc's can't be like that is' argument is horseshit.

>sees cool shit
>asks GM for cool shit
>Gm says No
>Offers to pay for coolshit with exp and sub optimization
>GM still says No, no good answer

yeah you're not getting anywhere with that one

The culture he's from believed that more than one man could impregnate a woman simultaneously, basically.

The TL;DR is that Gilgamesh's mom boned more than one guy that night.

Oh. Thank you. That settles a long-standing problem for me.

>thinking that a human being can conjure a 40 foot wide fireball using nothing but a tiny ball of bat shit and sulfur along with some magic words and fancy gestures.

Wizards ass fuck logical reality all the time, let the fighters have their "rule of cool" stuff.

An awesome sword that shoots lightning is cool. Swinging a massive sword with a grip thicker than the fighter's thigh is just silly.

Bag of holding.

Just dedicate a single type 1 bag to the job of holding your sword when not in use so it is immediately retrievable.

Imagine the faces of the random thugs that come to rob a guy because he looks unarmed, only for him to reach into the sack at his waist and pull out a sword bigger than two of them on top of each other.

Fuckers would be turning to run before you finish drawing it from the bag.

>cougar
>it's almost a cheeta

That's an arbitrary distinction borne from your preconceptions of how things should be. It's no more ridiculous than any 1st-level spell, or the concept of magical healing.

You can grip a human thigh, can't you? Quite firmly, in fact? Then if you're a superhuman adventurer, you can swing a sword that size. Maybe not easily, but you can do it.

I remind you that wizards are carrying around balls of bat shit for their magic.

The silly is already baked in, and Berserk has the main character using a sword that is supposed to be like 500lbs.

Maybe you get the sword worked a little so the grip fits better, or you just work something out with your advanced sword fighting knowledge.

Is there a vegetarian variant?

That could be a homebrew feat.
>Your Strength score increases by 1.
>A Small creature with this feat ignores the Heavy characteristic on weapons and can wield Versatile weapons in one hand.
>A Medium creature with this feat can wield weapons made for Large creatures without penalty. A weapon made for a Large creature deals 1d6 extra damage compared to a Medium version of the same weapon when wielded by a Medium creature.
(since just carrying over the double damage thing would likely be a mite broken)

Though I think the core rules let you wield weapons meant for larger creatures with disadvantage as it is. I might be imagining that.

It depends on the setting and the DM. The DM is the final arbiter of what is and is not allowed. If he says no 500 pound sword and you don't like it, go find another DM. If the setting on the other hand allows stick-thin lolis to swing giant axes then you are set.

Cheetah are more like really tall, skinny dogs with cat heads
This is born out by the fact that they are very fast

i try to make jok

I always handwaved it away by saying that once you reach level 5+, you are instinctually tapping into ki/mana/whatever because level 5 is where you stop being a regular dude swinging a sword and start being a heroic warrior figure, same as the wizard stops being some chucklefuck who can sling around a molotov's worth of fire or put three goblins to sleep for ten seconds and starts being the heroic wizard figure.

Applies to other systems where caster supremacy is an issue as well, but let's be honest, this issue is mostly restricted to the D&D balance shitshow.

Beowulf then

How fucking big are your hands if they can grasp a giant's sword/bow/fuckstick?

Pretty big, thanks for asking.

Nowadays we could argue for chimerism. To save people from having to look that up, although it is very interesting, it's when an animal is made up of cells from different zygotes, that is, multiple egg cells growing together after each is fertilised. Apparently it's not that uncommon in twins.

There's a good chance your mother was a chimera and so were you. Cells originating from her own egg fertilised by your dad were shed inside her and continued to reproduce. Similarly, you could have had some cells that are genetically your mother's. They might even still be there once the child is an adult. This means women could be tri-generational chimeras of their own mothers and all their children.

For every ingredient that isn't a vegetable, place "vegetarian" in front of it.

> Fast = dog, slow = cat

In 5e, if you have a giant magical sword you probably won't have a bag of holding since magical treasure is more scarce.

Have you seen a cheetahs paws? They're dogs. Also cheetahs are super skinny, not fucking ripped like Chad Cactuscock over there

Instead of +1d6 I would just add +2, and give a third benefit where the user can gain reach if he takes disadvantage in the attack, or some other utillity benefit based on using a big fucking sword.

By dumb luck your joke was kind of right. Cougars and cheetahs are actually more closely related to each other, and to domestic cats, than to other large cats.

What's your point? Both cats and dogs have pretty similar paws anyway, and the cheetah still has retractable claws.

The cheetah has “semi non-retractable” claws (almost like dog claws) that work like the cleats on a football shoe to give the cheetah a lot of traction when running. The pads of most cats' paws are soft, but the cheetah's pads are hard kind of like the rubber on a tire.

Enkidu was just a normal human that happened to be a wildman and also a badass. And the crux of the story is that Enkidu is the only individual that ever equaled Gilgamesh.

if your DM hates fun. Magic items are fun.

>WESTERN FANTASY IS EQUIVALENT TO ANIME

Found the spectrum candidate

>good cheese
>cheddar
my french sould just seppuku'd

Despite your digits, Mr. Trip-dub-dub, what you're looking at are nothing more than biological adaptations to their environment. For something that hunts on the open Savannah, there are only two ways to do so: you either hunt as part of a group(lions), or you hunt very, very quickly(cheetahs).

"Physically similar to," does not equate to, "being closer related to." Look at the hyena, for example; it looks like a big dog, but it's more closely related to cats.

Now imagine a man who was preternaturally gifted with the mystic art of 'log swinging' as well as ALL weapons in general. And has practiced swinging that piece of crap as well as anything that might pass as a weapon until he can fight with an ease mortal men cannot hope to replicate. He's going to swing harder and be less open to counters than some Strongman.

This is your problem. You think 'strong man' when you should think 'one who may rival Achilles, Perseus, or Diomedes'.

>"I've been reading up on my 40k fluff. Anyone interested in playing dark heresy?"

>retarded games aren't real games 'cause I find them retarded !

>all biological classifications are made on basis of paw morphology

Fuck yeah. Fuck the treasure economy, the action economy is the real limit on players in 5e.

I hand out all sorts of treasure. Unique magic items customized for each character. The occasional overpowered random roll item. Potions galore, more potions than you'll ever drink, damnit. Magic items that are broke but you can fix by giving them to a time dragon and paying him treasure to "rewind". Magic items that let you catch magic rabbits so you can pull them out of your hat later.

At least when I'm running D&D. I actually prefer very grounded scifi on my own, but have a soft spot for running games in the post-fantasy loot-in-a-tornado-booth bonanza that is D&D.

>cheetah paws are dogs

Don't we all remember how King Arthur saved nobody?

Biological classifications are determined by phylogeny. The same reason bats aren't considered birds but birds are considered dinosuars.

If cheetahs have dog-like features, it's due to convergent evolution. They're descended from Smilodon; they are cats.

>I like retarded games so that means they're not retarded

Not him, but why would you go into a thread complaining about nofun allowed to complain about fun being allowed ?
That's /pol/ level retardation

>weredoyouthinkyouare.jpg

>quality of cheese is determined by the variety and not by the individual batch
Are the French really this bad at food?

Sperit?

kek, you wrote digits in discussion about paws. Only you meant numbers not parts of foot. Is funny because not the same thing but looks and sounds the same.

They are that bad at everything.

... I honestly didn't even notice my own pun. I guess that's when you know you've mastered the art of punmanship? You make them without realizing you've done anything?

>Only anime has gaint swords.

Beowulf and the giant's sword he used to kill Grendel's Mother look at you with disdane

>In return fighters couldn't behave like anime characters and swing swords bigger than they were.
>what is weapon size categories

Yes I know but they look and act like dogs with cat heads
Also they are v. fast

>if it's fun for me it must be objectively good
>pls no bully

kys :^)

Ok chimp

Yeah, we gotcha ESL-kun.

I actually plan on letting a player wield a fuckhuge weapon from an enemy drop. Then again, I'm playing Mutants and Masterminds so fun is actually allowed in the system.

>muties and masterminds
>fun
kek, have fun with equipment being irrelevant at high levels

So... pretty much like comic books? Because if it's equipment, it's probably shit that is going to break anyway; as opposed to Devices.

Jokes on you, it's a Device.

Specifically, a metal Macuahuitl the size of a truck with blades made out of several dozen hooked greatswords that can shoot out and extend from chains.

What. The. Fuck.

You cannot GRIP an adult human thigh. Grip refers to the ability to wrap your hand around it and use the muscles in your forearm to apply pressure/force, which you can then do something with (lift yourself up, move the tip of a sword around in an arc, open a car door). This is NOT what happens when you slap both of your hands on either side of an adult human thigh, use your TRICEPS to apply pressure to keep it from slipping, and pretend you can wield just as well as gripping a huge sword designed with a perfectly fitting HILT.

No, you cannot grip a human thigh quite firmly. Sperg pls go and stay go.

>That whole post
>Calls someone else a sperg

Not that guy, but dude.

Implying guts wasn't a PC

Homonyms.

...

How fa/tg/uy are you that you think adult thighs are impossible to grip...