SAURONman

>SAURONman

BRAVO, Tolkien

>yfw you realize ARAgorn is the son of ARAthorn

>LEGOlas
How did he know??

It's CurunĂ­r you Westron degenerate. Also

>he's called GOLLUM because it's the noise he makes when he coughs

>SAM stand for "Strong-armed man"
>Sam carries Frodo to Mt Doom in the ending

>ISEN GUARD
>it guards the River Isen

Holy fuck!!!!

>SAM
>Surface to Air Missle
>Sam starts on the surface of the Shire and ends up in high altitude of Mt Doom.
No freakin way.

>ORCrist
>it actually does rist Orcs!

:O

>Middle-Earth
>It's in the middle of the earth

BASED TOLKIEN

>Lord of the RINGS
>There's a fucking ring in it
what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

>MOREdor
>because there's MORE of it in the other two books

WOW
O
W

>Bilbo's sword is called Sting
>Because it STINGS when you get hurt by it

DUDE

>FROdo
>Actually just has normal hair

Merry is a MERRY person

>Witch king
>king of witches

>shadowfax
>shadowFAST

>Gim Li
>not chinese

>it's called Hobbiton because Hobbits live there...

>Bree
>Not cheese.

He also carried a payload

>chinese dorfs

EASTERLINGS are named that because they are from the EAST.

i want to launch each and every last /tv/ poster directly into the sun

>Middle Earth
>It's Europe
Whoa

Leggo, lass.

>ARA
>ARA

Is that why he liked elven MILFs?

This thread is so Veeky Forums, I love it.

>This thread is so /tv/, I hate it

FUCK
OFF
/tv/

>return of the king
>the king is already there from the start
i want my money back

>Bilbo
>Nobody ever calls him by his full name, William Bow
>Tolkien's English was terrible

>/tv/ shitposters are invading my board

someone get this hothead outta here

Chinese dorfs would be awesome. Especially when they're all over the place and sell trinkets in their shops.
>HERRO, WELCOME TO MY STO'. BUY OR GET OUT, BIGFOLK!

Isn't that a line from Batman

this thread is so dumb, I love it

>"Dorf" cuisine restaurants start popping up everywhere
>it's actually mostly ork food

mfw this thread

>Gandelf
>"G" and elf

WHAT

>"Never by the hand of Man shall he fall"
>he falls to a hobbit and a WOman

Could Mozart still be alive?!?!?

>BORROWmir
>Just wants to BORROW the ring

>Gondor
>gone door
>gate is broken
>it's doors are gone

>FARamir
>He's FAR away from his brother

>the One Ring
>there are twenty of them

>DENethor
>Spends all day sitting in his DEN

Archive this thread!

>Bard
>The Bowman
>not The Singer
i want my money back

It's also an anagram for Is Garden

Why would potatoes exist in pre-Columbian Europe?

Because an era long long ago in a land far away is actually hell.

>RADagast
>He's a RAD guy

Eru-illuvatar did it

>why you eat so much? You so biiiig
>eat vegatabr
>eat brocorri
>you scare my wife!
>YOU GO NOW!

>Treebeard
>He's a tree with a beard
HOLY FUCKING SHIT

>SOURon
>is a sour loser

>Morgoth
>He's a morbid goth

LIKE
POTTERY

Wheels within wheels!

>Wheels within wheels

And Orthanc was a tower, a spoke of the wheel!

>el rond
>not mexican

>halfbreed
>mexican
whoa.

bumping gud thread

half right; he shared the load

>uruk-hi
>their symbol is a hand

>uruk-high
>look like a bunch of stoners

Alot of people don't realize because it's a dated reference, but "Shadowfax" is actually refering to the fax machine and the relative speed with which it could deliver messages.

>urk-high
>they are just taller orcs

we had to migrate somewhere after the /co/ invasion
sorry lad

>Rohan
>Horselords
>Riding song
>Rollin' Rollin' Rollin', ROHAN.

>Ringwraiths
>They're WRAITHS who want the ring

>Smaug
>A dragon who can makes fire and smoke AKA FOG

>Fanghorn Forest
>It's a forest with FANGS AND HORNS

>The River Running
>RIVERS RUN

>The Lonely Mountain
>it's involuntarily celibate

He calls Gandalf "young". The Istari and Sauron are the only things in Middle Earth older than he is.

>Based Radagast sends the eagles to save Gandalf and presumably helps the forces of Good concurrently with our heroes
>Skilled in nature magic, making him powerful as fuck in a world dominated by bizarre flora and fauna
>Made into a kooky stoner hippie in the movie for a few cheap gags
Out of all the things they altered or added in the films, nothing has been so disappointing to me.

Brought over by elves making the trip across the Atlantic from pre-Columbian Valinor, otherwise known as America. Duh.

Hobbits ate all the potatoes and smoked all the tobacco until there wasn't any. Duh.

>Thorin Oakenshield
>likes shields made out of oak
MADMAN

I didnt even know the writing went this deep. How does he do it??

>GALadriel
>she's female
Is there a Guyadriel?

WE COULD ACTUALLY USE MORE HOTHEADS AROUND HERE

[Spoiler] but /tv/posters please leave[/spoiler]

>Tom Bombadil
>Tom bomb da hill

what does it mean

>fire and smoke

>fog
dumb dogposter.

he's irish.

He's a radical Trump supporter.

well yeah
Fro DO
he was going to do it

>SMaUG
>has a smug personality

>The Misty Mountains
>MOUNTAINS that are MISTY

Saruman*

Fixed that for you you dick.

Surface to Air Manlet

>dwarfs
>they are small

>SOURon
>because he has a sour personality

Author of the millennium.

Kek

This is a high quality Veeky Forums thread.

>MORgoth
>he made MORe monsters
Literary genius.

kek

He also mostly wore black
>More GOTH

>ElWINGa
>she turns into a bird
WOW

>el rond
>not a Scientologist

This thread is precious and you people are beautiful.

>Pippin
>Because he smokes pipe

But user.
A Fax machine
Is literally
A speed machine

Curse you language heritage

>This thread is precious
>Precious

What did he mean by this?

Exchush me, Pippin refers to his PIP personality.

>HalDAD
>dad of Haleth

>HaLETh
>nobody let her lead her people, but she did it anyway

Can Tolkien top the greatest poet in history?

It took me a long time before I could remember which was which.