The most evil faction of your last setting tempts you to join in exchange for cookies

>She's probably going to try and use her adorableness and the fact that she's hiding behind enough magic firepower to level cities
what's that got to do with cookies? I mean LITERAL ACTUAL COOKIES. it's serious stuff, okay?

The last setting I made was for a Black Crusade game. If the protagonists are considered as good, then the most "evil" faction (as in, most strongly opposed to the protagonists) was a heretical corporation which was enslaving warp creatures to fight demons and Chaos. If it's a traditional understanding of evil as "the most bad", then the PCs fit the bill.

I would join either if offered cookies, anything is better than this muck.

yes, yes you can.

No, but I'm going to have to stop some of my fellow party members from accepting

I mean, she may be the spawn of a murderous psycho and an actual mad cannibal, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have the decency of providing basic hospitality towards people she threatens.
Plus the smell of genuinely delicious chocolate chip cookies sitting across the negotiation table is likely to disorient someone who's been doing a lot of fighting recently.

Okay, there were quite a few so
>Space Orwellian Commies
I suppose they offer their government happy drugs in cookie form now. NOT worth.
>Space New York City combined with the British Empire
I think they would wave a plate of gingersnaps or something in my face until I agreed and then swap it for oatmeal raisin. Fuck them.
>Moon-sized dragons
Cozy sweets with the bonus that I don't have to fight a dragon. I'll take it.
>Angels and Demons committing genocide in order to prevent the collapse of the plane
Uh
I suppose they give me cookies after I die? I don't think I would take it, but I also don't think I have a choice.

Given my last setting, I don't even know how would I decide which is the most evil faction. Regardless, the group are contracted mercs, wouldn't be so unprofessional as to change sides for a few cookies.

Chaos cookies?
H E R E S Y

Transhumanist MegaCorp who wish to make mankind the best it can be and abhor underhanded, sleazy tactics.
Brought peace to the world through wellfare schemes and helping develop economic stability for the worst effected nations. Albeit at gunpoint.

If they were talent scouting me, I'd gladly join up.

I eat the cookies but refuse to join.

>at gunpoint
Doesn't count as underhanded or sleazy?

that's most heinous thing I've ever heard
people like you are the reason we're not getting tempted with cookies anymore IRL

An Alien Queen of one of the galactic super powers wishes to buy my loyalty with biscuits and take me to her homeworld where I'll be free to live a dream life among alien super-tech. Under the unspoken proviso that I'll be ready to fight and even die if need be, in her and her people's defence.

Fuck yeah! Where do I sign up?

Not my fault these people are bad at bribery.

>Not assuming the cookies are poisoned
Idiot.

They were 'protecting their vested interests'.
They're a megacorp. You have to expect a degree of two-faced behaviour from them.
Mind you, that was really the hight of it. In almost every other way they tried to play the moral highground.

Nah, I'm on a diet.

Why would they poison me if they want me to join their dumb group?

They give you the antidote while toasting your joining in. It's slow-acting so you don't drop dead during negotiations.

you monster

Rolled 12 (1d20)

Rolling sense motive (roll result +7)

>implying I am gonna fall for such suspicious offers
Nah, thankfully I should be able to get party wizard to make us some cookies through MAGIC!

So they offer everyone else 72 virgins and all I get is cookies?
Fuck them.

And what if I said I needed to think about it/consult my legal team/any number of things that could take time?

I just feel like there are a lot of holes in the plan of poisoning the cookies is all.

I was sort of under the impression it was a 'join us or die' situation under the false pretense of an actual negotiation, so since you take too long to come to a conclusion and die, you were hesitant enough to be turned back at a critical moment and they've eliminated a future traitor. I would assume they wouldn't let you die in front of your allies to preserve the illusion, or give you some sort of parting gift that would nullify the poison (since you were hungry enough to eat the cookies).

Why are space Austo-Hungarian death cultists in offering me cookies?

Is there a catch?

dice+1d100 to detect whether it is raisin or chocolate chips

Muh grey morality

I accept the cookies because I must be contrary and deny that the faction is 'actually' evil. It is in my nature.

If somebody points a gigantic gun at you, tells you exactly what the gun does, and tells you that what they are doing is for your own best interest and that they will not shoot the gun if you don't get in the way, they aren't being underhanded, or sleazy, by definition. They're being incredibly overhanded, actually.

I'm not sure who the most evil faction would be. Or even if there was an evil faction in the setting.

But the only spell my character ever managed to pull off was to create cookies, so this offer wouldn't tempt him at all.

Primetime Adventures games can get strange with the right group of people.

If it's last game I played, it's drow, fuck no. If it's last game I ran, given that never got properly fleshed out, the only evil organization is a cult that worships the 5 dead dragons killed in the wars that led to the age of mortals who were in turn created as Tamar's last act after being struck a mortal blow by Bahamut, whose corpses are enough to twist the surrounding lands into wild, broken places where only twisted, magical life can grow.

Well, except for the blue and red dragons, who are trapped but very much alive.

Might side with hem if I believed for a second them succeeding wouldn't be immediately followed by the red or blue dragon, whichever they free, killing and eating them all.

Are they real?
Are they edible?
Are they tasty?
How many cookies do I get?

>Lovecraftian crab monster uses the moon as it's shell.
>First it turns everyone wearing a scary Halloween costume into monsters and generates really scary monsters with the power that wasn't used on people who came as a Giraffe or some shit.
>Big scary monsters start to fuck shit up. Costumed people also cause problems.
>Now it's offering us fucking cookies.

I don't know what to think. Is it trying to bath the world in fear and terror or just fuck with us?

Hell no

Their minor cultists are chumps that are just dudes in funny robes and carrying knives and pistols. Even if I managed to become an elite, all it means is im either a kung fu guy, a mage or a guy with a bigger gun

And then when you lose in a fight, they're expected to kill themselves, use their blood to draw a seal to allow their body to be possessed by the cults deities

Only 5% of the worlds population could achieve this, as usually, the donor body cannot handle the power of the gods

And most successful attempts lead to the summoned deity being a relatively unknown chump, who gets stomped by the party

So no, i'd much rather join the Rangers, which are the Queens special forces unit who use wormholes to chase criminals

Why would my group bake cookies for strangers