Why do you serve a gilded corpse when you could serve the Greater Good? Don't you want to serve the Greater Good...

>Betraying the Emperor
>For a filthy Xeno "Greater Good"
>Not drowning xenos in heavy ordinance
>Not dying for the Emperor

I swear, every time we hit the snooze button, the galaxy gets even more undesirable.

Maybe you should get the fuck out of the bed then and actually do some spring cleaning, you lazy bucket of bolts.

Our glorious Necrontyr beds contain comfort far beyond your mortal understanding.
Like Hell I'm giving that up for a shitty mug of liquid souls and the sounds of petulant children pracing about my yard.

There's no qt Krieger waifu's over on the Greater Good's side.

>Kreiger waifus
user, Love and Kreig was a shitty romance novel written by some lonely paradise world NEET who's never served a day in his life. Kreigers are not shy, introverted, qts who fight with endless devotion. They are monstrous abominations and perversions of the human mind. Take it from someone who had to serve with 'em.

Kriegers are what happen when you take a child, and beat all the joy and life out of him, and break them into a husk of a soul. Then they take those fractured shards that was once a person's mind, and put them together into what they see as the ultimate soldier. Whatever personality they had in that broken mess, was obliterated long ago.

They are soulless, unfeeling creatures with no remorse whatsoever. They don't have thoughts or feelings in their head, just orders. During one of my battles I served with a krieger, our commissar had died 4 hours ago, and some of our greener recruits panicked and broke line. They didn't get more than 5 feet before the kreigers shots put them down. Then afterwards, the fucker starts looting them, and tries to hand out their supplies to us. The worst part about it was that what he was doing wasn't even wrong in his eyes, it was just what he was trained to do.

They don't charge into death because they're brave, they don't hold the line because they care about what will happen to the planet if the fail, they don't cover your back because of a sense of Camaraderie or loyalty, they do it because they were told, nay Programed to. They live to fight and die, any other thoughts are irrelevant to their minds.

Emprah forgive me for sayin this but, Kriegers then Kreigers have less in comman with humanity than the techpriest's bloody servitors.

>"Kriegers are what happen when you take a child, and beat all the joy and life out of him, and break them into a husk of a soul. Then they take those fractured shards that was once a person's mind, and put them together into what they see as the ultimate soldier. Whatever personality they had in that broken mess, was obliterated long ago. They are soulless, unfeeling creatures with no remorse whatsoever."
I know right? Pretty sexy if you ask me.

One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind those masks.

What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty...

Do you believe in magic?

Hey man, there's no denying that Kriegers got it going on. Besides, I'm sure I can humanize her a bit with enough cuddles and sex. If not, oh well, dating a psychotic emotionless husk is still pretty hot.

Yeah, it has its ups and downs

Your sex life would have more feeling and passion if you just bought a fleshlight instead.

>live in ultramar
>everyone is cool
>network television shows aliens getting massacred in gory detail
feels good

Just because she is emotionless doesn't mean she doesn't respond to and enjoy physical stimuli.

>Responding to any stimulus that's not "Contact" or another one of their basic orders
>Krieger
Pick one

Just let the guy bang his weird space-Prussian.

Now you've got me thinking about who I'd pick for a waifu in 40k... I have trouble being turned on by insane zealots though.

Maybe I'll find one of those Lathe world priests I keep hearing about, or a Magos Biologis.

Why ya servin' tha "Greata' Gud" wen yaz cud be avin' a roight gud punch up?

Don't ya wanna av a WAAAGH! tg?

>Live in Ultramar
>Aesthetic statues and marble columns everywhere

Feels good man.

There's always Catachan waifu's. Then again, their sex is probably quick and cautious, cause every moment your doing it is an opportunity for a predator to eat you.

I'll stick to the space-Prussians though.

Pic related

Yeah I find myself also being drawn to the Kriegers on account of being attracted to dark girls.

Eh, I'll stick with a tech-waifu. I'll try to find one who's only a little bit crazy. Or at least will help me get down with some light tech-heresy.

I said this in the other DKOK thread, but Kriegers kind of remind me of Rei from Evangelion. Emotionless, obedient clones with a tendency to die. Maybe that's why people pick them as waifus?

have you considered moving? the galaxy is getting a serious bug problem anyway

I'm in Fuck Everyone Else.

Personally I'd want to bed a Sorta.

If the Emperor approves, of course.

Really puts things into context. I'd be utterly livid if I popped over to my second-favorite paradise world and found it had been eaten by extragalactic vermin. That shit will not do.

B/C the greater good is not all that good for humans. I'll stick with my regiment, filthy xeno freak.

That being said, I'd still take the poster and masturbate to it in an alley somewhere.

Grampa! What are you still doing up? I thought I got you a warm glass of CLEANSING BOLTER FIRE already!

Go back to sleep. I want to see how low we can go.

>all Kreigers are incapable of speech and must communicate through a mix of pantomime, grunts and wheezes.
>Give all Kreigers a flamer to charge with
>Their violent and unfriendly tendencies are mistakten for true insanity, rather than enthusiasm and pragmatism

I can see this being a thing.

Jeez, as if they weren't already creepy enough...

Creepy? What are you telling me pic-related is lent just the sweentes little guy you've ever seen?

Flamer Kreiger: Mmmphhff...mmphff...mmphf

Local Commissar: Yes guardsman, keep on torching the houses...carry on.

You don't want to serve a false corpse god either?
While we may not understand this whole "Greater Good" horseshit, we like the way you think, friend.

Let's do lunch, and talk a bit more about this.

No because your art is shit

It's actually pretty good to be honest famalamadingdong

>Let's do lunch, and talk a bit more about this.

I hope early next year will be ok, because we've got them booked for a cultural exchange program until then.

Why do you serve a greater good that does less good to the most people while venerating a small amount of individuals with all the wealth and sanctity?

>chicks with issues
>posts a 12,000 year old man

It's really not. It's a bad imitation of a decent piece of art.

...

your private parts do not decide what gender you are. If she calls herself a female, then she is one.

I mean valhallans seem pretty cool, but that might just be because of the cain books.

Praetorians as well. But yea I can get off to a lot of things, insane zealots are not one of them.

>Slaanesh worshipers
>Limiting themselves to one gender at a time
Their sexuality is "More, Faster" they're girls, guys, herms, and everything else.

Okay, Rembrandt.

So they seek to be belial tier freaks that are more dong, tit and pussy then functional life form?

Why die for the emperor when you can live for greater good?

>Don't you want to serve the Greater Good, Veeky Forums?
NO

THE "GREATER GOOD" IS COMING TO YOU FROM MY BOLTER, ALIEN.

>So they seek to be belial tier freaks that are more dong, tit and pussy then functional life form?
Wait are you implying you don't user I thought this was Veeky Forums

This is Veeky Forums.

Not /d/.

Stop getting smut in my grimdark.

YOU'RE CRIMES ARE PUNISHABLE BY DEATH HERETIC! *BLAHM

YOU INSPIRE YOUR MEN TO STUDY SUCH SMUT, COMMISSAR!? YOU HERETIC! *BLAM*

Because life ends and paradise is eternal.

HOW DARE YOU STAND SO CLOSE TO A TRAITOR & XENOS!

Thats a lot of heresy down there.... lets just make sure that shit doesn't spread.
*BEEP*

Why would I willingly serve your Greater Good, when you're already doing a spectacular job as a screen against the Tyranids for us?

Have fun being eaten, we'll make sure to put the time you give us to good use.

...because we have blueberries?

Why does all the fanart of the Tau have them with normal human hair, instead of that weird ponytail thing they have in the official art?

Ay Magos, I'm back from earlier in the thread, do you know of any tech-priestesses who're avail-I mean... need to get more experience? I'm doing an... uh, outreach program, for tech priestesses.

Because the weird ponytail thing is called a queue and it's GW's visual shorthand for making the tau look extra oriental because, in their hearts, the British are still fighting the Boxer Rebellion. Fan artists just give tau anime gaur because it's a more relevant and contemporary cultural affectation.

Why not loyalty to yourself?

If you're going to serve a corpse and/or the greater good, why not choose the undying benevolent master of all? I'll help you forge your own destiny in exchange for your obedience. Even the Ruinous Powers can't pry anyone from my grasp.

Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong.

Pick your flavor, Veeky Forums

Because if the Emperor loses, the entirety of the Galaxy is fucking dead anyway and Tau are fucking retarded and can barely get into a slow-ass version of FTL travel and will never be of comparable speed to that of a drive a Tech-worshiping sodomite can build in his backyard? Don't really see them ever being able to go for Extra-galactic anyway.

Hell, the Tau as a species almost completely wiped themselves out when they were in the blackpowder age of technology, only saved by a Mysterious Warpstorm and the arrival of the Ethereals.

Honestly, you xeno-loving retards can't do simple math.

Leechposters please go and stay go. The undying should not meddle in mortal affairs.

Ethereal.
Not even joking.

>Implying 40k has a winning scenario
>Implying anything in the 40k setting is even worth saving

Live for yourself, user.
Or jump into random portals into the Warp and hope you wind up somehkw falling into the 40k version of Blood Bowl, the only Warhammer setting that's a decent place to live and worth fighting for

I CONCUR!

youtube.com/watch?v=yUpbOliTHJY

Let's be honest. As they are, they really couldn't be more creepy and unnerving. If anything this would probably make them more approachable.

explain their differences

I don't study Xenos

I believe it's, in order from left to right, earth, fire, water, and air caste. Earth are builders and engineers etc, fire are warriors and commanders, water are diplomats and beurocrats, air are starship pilots and other void personnel IIRC.

Eugenics

>Xenoposting

What, you don't like xenos?

What do you think, shit-for-brains?

Cause you should really reconsider that position...

Cause they're pretty great for dying in horrible ways.

Does the Militarum even allow shit like that? I know Lho Sticks are allowed obviously but whores, alcohol and gambling sound like a recipe for a blamming through lack of discipline.

Yes user, the soldiers bang hookers.

Aren't Lho sticks just another name for cigarettes?

>but whores, alcohol and gambling sound like a recipe for a blamming through lack of discipline.
Not even the commissars are THAT strict

space shore leave isn't going to be much different than regular shore leave. You just won't hear about it often because it doesn't show everyone dying in Hell War 666-Alpha.

also with regiments numbering in the million billions, there are going to be a few sets of cards and dice coming with, regardless of the attentions of the commissariat.

The universe is a massive place and I have no idea why some of the races with FTL shit don't just bugger off to Andromeda or something.

The Necrons can literally just colonize a few other galaxies from the innumerable others there are. Why stay and fight over a lost cause of a clusterfuck galaxy? Besides "There's nothing to do there and these upstarts are pissing me off".

Lefty be THICC

Yup
I dunno, just some of the Commissariat strike me as being that unwavering
I guess you have a point. You can be strict as you want but you can't be everywhere at once eh

>thigh gap visible
not thicc enough tbqh; water caste a qt tho

...

If you have no concept of kindness or pleasure, and the only time anyone had laid hands on you was when they were trying to grapple with you when they lost their weapon, why would sex be enjoyable?

Toss-up between Earth and Water Caste.

Earth is thiccness supreme and big titties but water caste is a mix of slender and legs which is a +++ modifier for the thigh gap. I can't fucking choose.

>be krieger
>get comfy gas mask and coat
>set up in your comfy tench with your m8s and your heavy bolter
>sit back and relax
>gun down xenos by the dozens
Objectively best existence in 40k