ITT We Trigger DMs, Part 4 - Special Snowflake Character Edition

To be quite honest, I'd allow it after that last line.

she turns evil.

>Dammit Josh, we can't understand a word you're saying
>STOP MAKING ME CHANGE MY CHARACTER

In 5e you can only dual-wield small weapons unless you get the feat for it. Even in 3e, using two large weapons would've carried a penalty unless you also got the Wield Oversized Weapons feat.

Forgot pic related

>Player: So I've got a character idea.
>Me: Cool, what'cha got?
>Player: Well I've been watching this anime recently and I really like the main character!
>Me: *Blood pressure rising*
>Player: I even found a class on the SRD that's perfect for what I had in mind.
>Me: *Veins visibly appear on my neck and forehead*
>Player: The best part is that it starts off with a magic weapons!
>Me: *Blood begins to pour from my eyes* D-Does it work in the setting document I sent you?
>Player: Oh ya that uh, didn't read it it was too long.
>Me: *Audible pop as blood begins pooling from my ears*

>Can my character be the former dethroned king of a neighboring country?
Not me, but my buddy let his GF pull some shit like this. He was whipped hard, and it showed in-game that he would bend over backwards to her every whim or she'd get pissed. I have more stories if anyone cares to listen

As long as they're DM-triggering, go right ahead.

>D&D is basically anime, right?

I mean, I was just saying it's possible. And that the players handbook says it's possible.

hit me up fampai
inject me your stories

>*Begins to throttle*

Funny thing. You can get Wikipedia converted into thick Scottish dialect if you want your character to be able to do incomprehensible exposition. Not too many articles, though.

sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

Wasn't there also a feat in 3.5 called monkey grip or something that allowed you to wield two handed weapons as one handed, or allowed you to wield large-sized weapons as a normal-sized character without penalty?

"Someone pull the gear shift on the GM or I'm not getting you another replacement."

Accurate
evilchili.com/videos/6339/Monkey_Dust__The_Diary_Of_Ann_Frank

I'm a NE tiefling sorceror with the godhater trait.

That's pretty dope. You want a REALLY sick read, check out the Anglish wiki: anglish.wikia.com/wiki/Main_leaf
Anglish = English as it would have been without any Latin influence.

It allowed you to do it, but you still took a penalty. Although I misstated the feat I was thinking about - what you'd want is Oversized Two-Weapon Fighting. But if you want that + Two-Weapon Fighting + exotic weapons, you have to be a human fighter.

>"I rolled my stats at home"

Britain conquered France and much of Europe after WW3 in Star Trek's timeline.

We are waaaay behind schedule

>You said I can use any race in the books, and the Monster Manual has stats for Githzerai

This triggered me like you wouldn't believe

(Important: she and a few others played through Roll20, and chatted through skype, while a few others got together in person)

It was actually both DM and whole party triggering, and no one could do anything because she was the campaign's special snowflake.

So the whole plot is that we are in a neighboring country, attempting to bring order to political instability caused by the dethroning. DMGF basically takes this as "make me rise to power in this country because I am a natural ruler, then we go and invade former country"
>Whatevs, we just wanna play.
We progress through the campaign, making dumb choice after dumb choice because "hurr durr we gotta save DMGF" or she loses her shit which means DM loses his shit.
>pic related, mfw we sacrificed two different characters in order to save her sorry ass
We finally get to BBEG's lair, and we are expecting a huge Lion King-esque, Scar vs> Simba showdown.
>cool as fuck, our bodies are ready
Instead, she tells BBEG/DM that she wishes to negotiate. She rolls for diplomacy, and "Guys, you won't believe this but I got a nat 20"
>you are right, we don't, especially since the DM said you could roll on dice and not on roll20's built in dice
Her and DM then spend four hours negotiating the terms of their new joint regime, right down to the economic imports/exports and welfare programs that they will set up to help the common folks. The rest of the party just kinda stood there while all this happened.
>It was all very frustrating and not fun.
Couldn't help but feel bad for the DM though. She was the type to take her in-game frustrations (bad rolls, negative consequences, etc.) back with her IRL, and DM had to deal with it. he obviously spent a lot of time setting up the world, the sessions, and it just fell to shit because of her. And worst part is, he couldn't just kick her out of the party. He was definitely triggered.

Obi Wan doesn't turn eveil.

Bravo sir, I've coiled in my seat and hissing like a mad snake.

You win.

Obi Wan is currently a net negative, all skywalkers considered.

This is only kind of triggering. I always review them, but if a character has every score above 14, including 3 18's (see DMGF ), then I tell them to reroll it, or dial shit back hard.

>Nonforce Sensitive Player 1: Hey user, can I do [insert action that's tangentialy involves the force or Jedi shit. Ex: Turning on a lightsaber, pick up somesort of force artifact, etc.]
>Me: I don't see why not, but you'll have to roll for it because you kinda don't know what you're doing.
>Player 1: Cool. No problem [Succeeds roll]
>Jedi Player 2: BUT ONLY JEDI CAN [insert action here] ! LOOK AT THIS WOOKIEPEDIA ARTICLE ABOUT SOME OBSCURE BULLSHIT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

If I wasn't a huge starwars fan I'd stop running anything in established settings.

Just ban that shit, and make players reroll at the table.
People get attached to their stats to a degree. You should only need to put them through the pain of changing them once and the problem will go away.
Unless you don't GM faggot.

I've lost interest and motivation in several games before without it necessarily being the fault of the GM or other players', leaving a few sessions in. I've caused games to die by doing this.

>this
>but when playing point-buy

From a certain point of view.

I've never had dick players like that. For the most part, all the people I have played with they keep it honest.

>>Anglish wiki
>They're serious about de-Latinizing and purifying our kleptomaniac whore of a language.
I'm not sure whether to laugh my ass off or scream.

>only Force sensitives can turn on lightsabers

Han Solo disproved this thirty-six years ago. I'm glad the EU is dead.

Playing high-level 3.5 campaign, ten minutes into session.
>DM: You enter the dragon's lair. It looks at you guys, menacing but with a slight curiosity. being fond of games, it wants to have a little fun be-
>Cleric: I cast implosion
>DM You realize it gets a +22 to fort saves right? your save DC is like, 24.
>Cleric: I. Cast. Implosion.
*Rolls a 1 on dragon's fort save. Dragon is kill*
>DM: Well fuck, the dragon fight was all I had planned for this week.

>rolling stats
triggered

...

Honestly, I just really enjoy reading it. It FEELS like English and I can usually tell what's going on.

That's honestly more unprepared DMing than douchey Playering, but I can understand why it would be triggering.

i actually kinda like rolling stats, but you need to do it in a group at the table.

and in order

They didn't even listen to my spiel :(

>I actually kinda like rolling stats, but you need to do it in a group at the table
Seems reasonable
>And in order
TRIGGERED

>allowing a single spell to derail a session so easily

Really demonstrating that DMs can trigger players, too

It only works if you have an unruly group that is trying to make characters that don't fit the game, anime for example. Other than that it just turns into fantasy Vietnam

It's pretty much the reason I have 3 sessions mapped out ahead of time.

We were young, it was our first game

>Player comes in with character sheet
>22 in every stat
>"It's okay my mom watched me roll"
>Speed is listed as one word
>"Fast"

This shit is why in D&D 5e, powerful enemies often have Legendary Resistance, which allows it to choose to succeed on a save a few times per rest.

On one hand, I agree that there's a reason it's there; on the other, when you use your last spell in a last-ditch effort to immobilize a boss and he gets to both roll AND decide not to take the roll and automatically succeed, it can be super-frustrating. I try to avoid using it as a DM because it's not fun for the players; I'd rather design an encounter where save-or-suck wouldn't ruin the whole fight.

Even though king sounds a bit strong, the idea doesn't seem too bad. I'd ask him to bump it down to exiled prince, disgraced nobility is common enough.

I'm with you there. When I DM, I restrict my use of Legendary Resistance to the first few rounds of combat.

I planned this encounter out in painstaking detail and hell if I'm going to let it go to waste! Now you sit the fuck down and fight this goddamn thing, and you had better get excited when the boss transforms into its second form!

What triggers me more is DMs that don't immediately make them reroll in front of them. I've heard a lot of stories of DMs just not calling them out and them having 18s in every stat.

Once you got past like 6th level in 3.5, you were going to hit most of the time even with penalties.

Hitting was never the problem. Hitting enough times to overcome hp and dr bloat was.

> I always review them, but if a character has every score above 14, including 3 18's (see DMGF ), then I tell them to reroll it, or dial shit back hard.

Bunch of retards. You need to do either of these:
> Roll in front of the DM, then the DM has to "roll with it", pun intended.
> Buy stats.

In some of our games, we get the option of rolling or not. Not saying one is superior to the other (except I am unlucky as fuck), but if someone TAKES THE RISK, and rolls 18,16,18,14,15,18, he should be allowed to keep it, and play it.

And best way to do so is to have everyone witness everyone's rolls.

Please tell me she at least made a semi convincing speech along with the 'nat 20' diplomacy roll. It triggers me when players act like a good persuasion roll will do something without them saying anything.

It's also why the DM rolls behind the screen.

Or just says ok, the dragon is bloodied.

> Please tell me he at least made a semi convincing sword along with the 'nat 20' craft roll. It triggers me when players act like a good craft roll will do something without them doing anything.

> Please tell me he at least made a semi convincing magical theory along with the 'nat 20' knowledge (arcana) roll. It triggers me when players act like a good Knowledge (Arcana) roll will do something without them understanding anything.

I thought the concept of roleplaying was to try to do things you're not in real life.

You don't need to actually give a convincing speech, but you do at least need a good point.
You can't persuade the guard chasing after you to jump off a bridge just because you rolled well.
I've seen players roll for persuasion, and then have no idea what their character said to convince the other guy.

>dm running game with 9th level cleric spells and not preparing
>throwing a monster with CR lower than that level party at them
>dragon SR around this point probably close to 25

Neat story bra

I usually have it such that how convincing their words are sets the DC for the roll.
If they make an elaborate, eloquent speech that makes a superb argument, that DC is going to be relatively low.
On the other hand, you can give a shitty speech or just say a few words, but you better get a lucky-ass roll and hope you're innate charisma or other mental stats are high enough to carry the weight of your words.

I don't go that far. I might give them a bonus if they go really in-depth with their details or their speech, but as long as someone says something as simple as 'I explain to the guard that this was all a mistake and the dwarf didn't know the law', that'll be enough for them to try and persuade a guard to let them off with a warning.

The player doesn't need to be convincing, but they at least need to declare what angle they're going for.

Not derail so much as prematurely end it. They were going to fight it anyway I suppose

Yeah, I try to plan ahead more than that usually but sometimes you get lazy or you have no time. This particular session was supposed to take at least two hours, with the bulk of it being fighting that dragon. They were then supposed to leave the dungeon, and find ways to revive party members that had died.

>"Fast"

>Can my character have a Scottish accent?
>Is he from Scotland?
>No, he's Egyptian. Ancient Egyptian.
>And he was in Japan for a few centuries.
>And he won't go back to Scotland until it's Independent or something
>I also think he was a Ukrainian U-Boat Commander? I dunno, he's lived a colourful life.

If I remember correctly in 3.5 Bastard Swords could be wielded one or two-handed, and I'm pretty sure there were rules for wielding a Katana/Washizaki or whatever the short sword is called.

u avin a giggle m8

I mean... You're kind of a bad person for that user, but I can't exactly hate you for it... Maybe only apply if you really really think you can stay interested?

I shoulda used a screen. Oh well
might have been a hydra or some similar shit. All I remember is rage.

Bastard swords are two handed martial weapons that can be wielded with one hand with the exotic weapon proficiency feat.

>make a sandbox game
>players make PCs who all have wildly different objectives and motivations
>any time I throw a plot hook their way, half the party bitches because their characters don't give a shit about so-and-such goal, only their own goals
>none of them want to compromise on goals for the sake of maintaining the party/game

Poli Sci major, so she was like 'Think of the benefit to being able to rule BOTH countries" sorta meme

I have a friend who does little thing like this whenever he gets to be a player. Or like picking up an item he probably shouldn't, or using a splat he probably shouldn't. It's always very minor, like a feat/talent, or a piece of gear, nothing huge and it never goes past that point.

I become keenly aware that he's doing it, and I always brooch the subject that maybe he shouldn't, or that he might be interpreting something wrong and it often ends the same way. I'll state that I think he's wrong, and he'll state that the information provided could go either way, and then the topic is dropped and he'll either stick with his choice, or change it.

It's never a big enough deal to try and force my position, or bring it up again after the fact though. So I'm always at a bit of a loss about what to do after. I mean, I'm not going to bring it up again in the middle of the group or "naively" ask the GM the exact same question to get his ruling on it in front of him, because he'd know what I'd be doing, and I think it's really only a big deal to me because any of the other players wouldn't even care.

I find it weird, and I felt I needed to vent a little, sorry.

>anglish.wikia.com/wiki/What_is_Anglish?
>Mongrel English
They're so fucking butthurt about modern English, holy shit. How can anyone be this autistic?

I used to do this, but I'd only re-roll if I got over half my stats under 13.
That might seem a bit extreme, but I was just starting out and had lost a few characters because I was so fucking bad at everything.
Now I tend to go roll my character with the DM before the first session, and help him play test the system he's learning.

>DM has a big combat session planned with an insane Bugbear Skyship Captain and his crew of mutated Lovecraft Goblins
>We open up his cabin
>he sees us, starts to gibber
>Our Sorcerer throws a Quickened, Maximized Fireball
>One-shots the Captain, blows out the back of the ship
>Rest of the session is us frantically attempting to escape the burning, crashing ship while mutant goblins try to kill us and whatever Tentacle abomination they had in the hold starts tearing the ship apart
Worked out pretty good.

That sounds more exciting than the original

It was pretty great, shame t was our last session
>I get tossed overboard for crit failing a balance check, luckily have a parachute my character joined as a Sky Pirate two sessions earlier after my last character got used as a battering ram by a giant crab, RIP
>Goliath Paladin and Dwarf Monk make it to escape craft, basically a flying Hovercraft, and scoop me out of the air because they have no idea how to pilot it
>Sorcerer Casts Fly, starts strafing the Ship with Scorching Ray like a goddamn X-Wing
>Cleric Summons a Spirit Bear, casts Air-Walk on it and rides it to the ground

...

Honestly as a long time DM this stuff doesn't bother me as much anymore. I can enjoy when the players do something i don't expect at all and fuck shit up purely on luck. You just have to laugh it off and move on to the next thing

It's an acquired skill

Our DM had a tendency to make any enemy that survived combat with us a potential villain, because we had a tendency to kill off the really obvious ones, like the female assassin that lead a pirate ship to attack us, then dove overboard when she thought she had an opening.
We put 4 arrows in her before she hit the water.

>Player rolls up a character using a Splatbook the DM is unfamiliar with
Probably not a major problem, but I was one of those players that used to read sourcebooks when I got bored, so there were a few instances where I'd take a feat or a spell or whatever and the DM would ask "wait, it does what? Where the fuck did you get that from?" and then he'd be forced to dig through the pdf and grumble about it.

>Hitting enough times
Right, so you'd need your secondary (-5) attacks to also hit. Problematic when you're taking a -2 for dual-wielding and a further -2 for oversized weapons.
Especially considering damage in 3.5 came almost entirely from crits and modifiers, a larger weapon (while cool) just doesn't make any sense. All it adds is a couple of damage points, but accuracy is more important.

>can I just kill my character and make a new one? Im kinda bored

If you ever say the words "I'm rolling knowledge (arcana)," then you're doing that wrong, too. A player should never declare a skill roll. A player should say what his character is attempting to do, and the DM should decide whether it succeeds automatically or whether it requires a roll, and if it does, what kind.

Examples of good skill use:
Aracana
Player: Do I know anything about this creature?
DM: I dunno, roll me a knowledge (arcana) check.

Diplomacy
Player: I ask the guy next to me "hey, can I burrow a pen, please?"
DM: well, he's an asshole, so you're going to have to roll diplomacy.

Examples of bad skills use:
Player: do I know anything about this winter wolf with a 23 knowledge (arcana) check?
DM: no, that would require a nature check.
Player: okay, is a 17 knowledge (nature) roll enough to know whether it's carnivorous?
DM: ...

Diplomacy
Player: I want to get in this woman's pants. I roll diplomacy.
DM: awesome.
Player: so do we have sex?
DM: I dunno, are you gonna ask her?

Diplomacy seems to require a bit more of the player, but only if he's metagaming. At the average table, most social situations are roleplayed out naturally. If a request seems unreasonable, or a lie particularly egregious, the DM might call for a check. Other than that, just talk to the person.
Yes, D&D is all about doing things you couldn't do in real life. In real life, most people here probably can't seduce a barmaid. In D&D, you absolutely can, and if your charisma is high enough or your muscles are big enough, the DM might not even call for diplomacy. But if he does, you can nail that shit and then nail that shit.

>3.5
>new guy joins group
>friend of one of our other players
>I wasn't DM, but I was there to witness the madness
>his character was a goliath warblade
>wielded a heavy goliath greathammer
>multiclassed into wizard and abjurant champion
>through a series of spells and feats he was able to increase the size of his weapon thus dealing more damage
>eventually saved up enough money to get it gold magic enchanted (increases size of weapon greatly)
>by the end of it, his weapon was 3x larger than colossal
>he could wield it
>party came across ancient black dragon who started to monologue about us foolish mortals being in his territory
>goliath smacks him for 144d6 damage
>dragon goes flying into oblivion

>sometimes you get lazy or you have no time
I DM'd the last half of our two-year campaign like this. I actually feel really guilty about it, because while the players had fun I could tell the quality suffered. I went really all-out for the last few sessions, though.

The Hunt for Red Highlander is my favorite Indiana Jones movie.

Yes, you could wield a katana or a bastard sword in one hand (provided you had the proper exotic weapon feat) and a wakizashi (short sword) in the other. You could not, without MASSIVE penalties, wield a katana or a bastard sword in your off-hand, without taking even more pointless feats you could have been spending on Weapon Specialization (Kukri) and Two-Weapon Defense.

Are you really asking how someone can be autistic about medieval shit on Veeky Forums?

I'm not even triggered, I'm inspired.

I do like when one player sits on enough min/maxed bullshit until the opportune moment to just fuck everyone.
Our party Sorcerer spent most of his time being a Chaotic Neutral asshole, but when he stopped fucking around he could clear encounters out QUICK.
Also, one of my friends campaigns had a session where they faced off against a fucking army of Pirates that went tits-up pretty fast. The Cleric, upon seeing that everyone was thoroughly fucked, stopped being a Heal-Bot and killed everyone with a single Empowered Quickened Lightning.

>I found this really cool alternate rule in Unearthed Arcana, it said it's for high powered games but I chose it anyways XD

t. the cleric with spell recharge who was in my campaign last year

Last game I DM'd my friend's boyfriend completely derailed the game by punching a high ranking politician in the face in the first 15 minutes, refusing to apologize, and then taking his pants off and peeing everywhere. It was baffling, I had no fucking clue what to do. After like 20 seconds of thinking I just turned it into a "save your party member from the executioner's block" because I had no other ideas.