You discover that all elves are secretly shapeshifting rats

Is this a cat in a hat?

Why elves, though?

Please tell me more.

I've just started making it into a comic.
agrestthethief.tumblr.com/

This thread is an excellent excuse for me to post some best rat.

How do I know Ratfolk aren't just shapeshifting Elves?

What is the advantage of shapeshifting into ratfolks?

Mace-Tails.

Sex appeal.

Superior sense of smell.
Fur in winter.

I am now conflicted between my urge to kill all elves and the need to cuddle all ratfolk.

This could be an interesting concept in the right setting. Perhaps not ALL elves are secretly shape-shifting rats, but that all the elves visiting a certain Human city are. Due to centuries of people pouring old potions down their drains, the city's rats have Awakened, many among them acquiring or learning the ability to shape-shift. In order to better their lives down in the sewers, the rats take the shape of elves and interact with the Humans above, establishing alliances, making money, buying and selling food and trinkets and occasionally going on adventures.

The ruse has been working pretty well, as elves are supposed to be secretive and strange, but the arrival of REAL elves to the city threatens to ruin everything.

Eating warpstone without going boom.

You discover that all rats are secretly shapeshifting elves.

Let me get this straight.
Elves:
>long ass life-span, eternally young and good looking
>live in forests or magical places that are really nice to live in
>one of the best at magic
>long history and a glorious past, now on the decline or even considered a dying race

Rats:
>ugly, short lives
>live in dirty places
>breed like rabbits
>spread diseases
Is there some kind of elaborate joke I'm not getting?

This is actually a noble elven lady, she uses the opportunity presented by shapeshifting to let her hair do- out and be a slutty ratfolk ninja.

Improved agility and survivability?

The elven version of slumming.

what the fuck tg

My god, they've had armies hidden in all our major cities for centuries.

Veeky Forums is actually super furry. Where have you been, under a rock?

>go in the cellar
>naked elf completely squished by a mousetrap in the middle of the room
>again

>"dying race" lore was a lie meant to make you drop your guard

You act like this is the first time something like this has happened.

> Rats
> Ugly
Nothing but slander!

>discover

>they only breed excessively in ratfolk form

As long as they bully me and use me I dont care what they are.

Superior breeding capabilities

Rats are cute and intelligent, make much better pets than mice

Who is this rodent waifu?

>High elves are secretly skaven
Makes total sense, all things considered.

That's probably the joke. Although rats are generally adorable.

Shame they get so mis-represented, though. Not only do those little guys help drive way too many scientific studies, but they're incredibly intelligent and kind. Hell, they showed rats can have true altruism.

The big shame is just how short their lifespans are.

Looks like Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni

Ink-eyes, a nezumi from MtG kamigawa setting. Got a couple other pics.
Beware, the artist makes a lot of nsfw furry art, so searches can be dangerous.

>furry porn
>Veeky Forums
>'dangerous'

...

...

>That's probably the joke
So dwarfs are shapeshifting flamingos? Orcs shapeshifting sloths? Goblins shapeshifting whales? Am I doing this right? Just taking what seems to be the opposite and now I have my epic joke thread?

>beware
Yeah. Sure. I'll be reeeeal careful.

This is literally an image of the character presenting herself for sex, while topless, is that not NSFW enough in your mind?

I see nothing lewd, just a rat lady looking in a window.

Not him, but I sense a nipple.

Hopefully it means skaven ditch those ugly broodmothers and go grab some rats by the tail. Maybe if the vermin got some decent pussy now and again they wouldn't be such murderous, backstabbing dicks and they could concentrate on science for something besides murder.

OH GOD A NIPPLE JESUS CHRIST

TFW American and this is the normal reaction in your country

Don't look at me, I just think that rats are wonderful animals.

The lewd is only in your mind, user

jesus christ, burn everything

>presenting herself for sex
I'm not sure. Do rats have tail language like dogs or cats?

Nope. Just a window. No one will jerk it to this. There are only three lights.

So the elves have concocted a plan to counter their whole "slow reproduction/dying race" schtick and it's to polymorph themselves en masse into cute ratfolk who can breed accordingly?

To be fair this isn't /a/ or a porn board, its not a good idea to post nipples.

Sad, but true.
We're a surprisingly prudish country, considering that we have Las Vegas.

>Furry is to be burned
>Loli anime avatar

You're right. Burn EVERYTHING. But finish it off with you.

I don't know about those particulars, but I like the idea of a race permanently transforming itself to avoid extinction.

Maybe something with golems...

It's just fucking weird to me. I've been to Europe (and honestly, alaska has some spots that take that 'lol idgaf' stance because alaskans don't give a fuck about anything, we're a hardy people) and it's just not a big deal over there and what is and isn't acceptable is well defined.

You come to the states and it's like "Okay you can't say fuck or show a nipple but that character in a kids show has bondage gear covering their nipples so I guess that's fine, also they get shot in the face but eh whatever just put it on TV it's not like there's a nipple or anything."

...

Good, it gives me an excuse to massacre them as much as I feel like.

What happens to the babies if the mother shapeshift into an elf during pregnancy? Litter of skavens? Litter of elves? Miscarriage?
And would the be babies be regular ratfolks or be able to shapeshift too?

There must be an answer in some dragon magazine FAQ, I've seen strangest questions there.

Rules are rules user. I didn't report it, but you should be self-aware about what you post. At least put a spoiler behind it.

It's not like europe hasn't its own weird things.

Well it's moot cause I didn't post it, I'm just bitching about the prudes in my country. IDGAF if someone else gets banned for rat titties, not my website.

Oh good lord it does. But they're usually...I dunno...way more private and guarded? I assume that's just because you have so much goddamned 'gentleman culture' built up over hundreds of years that the REALLY sick shit is generally either kept outside the regulated public view or at the very least used in that 'OH YOU SO CRAZY EUROPE' way that they've been borrowing form japan lately

I don't think so, but I can only argue from my personal experience. My country gets assblusted constantly about political shit.

Can't we all only argue from personal experience, in the end?

>golems

That's just boring transhumanism transfered to a fantasy setting.

In America, it's a normal reaction to see topless adolescent girls as "sexual" and "dirty" in need of covering up.

Litter of elves

Being from there, I know this. I'm saying it's fucking weird, because a good portion of the rest of the world doesn't follow our batshit censorship rules where a nipple's evil, but someone getting blown to shreds wearing fetish gear is on network TV.

apparently in america it's also normal to interpret any topless women as being adolescent

>Rat-Elves play up commonly held Elven stereotypes in an attempt to disguise their lack of genuine cultural knowledge.

>Rat-Elves' clothes and gear are noticeably mismatched and out of style, and are rarely of real Elven make or quality.

>Rat-Elves usually claim to be travelers or adventurers as a way to explain their oftentimes dirty and disheveled appearances.

>Rat-Elves sometimes cannot maintain the levels of poise, self-assuredness or otherworldly charm needed to pass as a real Elf.

>Rat-Elves possess the ability to swivel their ears and will do so st signs of danger, something that real Elves are incapable of.

>"See, we call the ratties 'stabbers', cause the knife-ears on em move. Oh, and they're rats, they'll fuckin tab ya in the back."

Oh? I suppose you might be right, but it could still be a fun culture to throw into a fantasy setting. It would have to be about execution if not originality.

>There are folk that claim that the Rat-Elves are more friendly than the real thing though, because they actually need us Humes.

>There are even stories of Rats doing good turns by people and helping out in ways those arrogant True-Elves never have.

>>There are even stories of Rats doing good turns by people and helping out in ways those arrogant True-Elves never have
Where do you get that from? Usually elves are the allies of humans.

>elves are realizing their society is becoming stale and dull
>mages come up with a plan
>polymorphing into ratfolk becomes a fad
>soon everyone is doing it
>they set up fake "ratfolk" communities
>create a fake "ratfolk" culture and language
>elves get really into creating their ratfolk persona
>never break character or reveal it to outsiders
>essentially elves are extreme LARPing in the setting

Just for the purposes of this thread, I was playing up the occasional personification of Elves as being arrogant and aristocratic.

>Several different fantastical races in this setting were actually created by this ancient, stagnating elven empire, as different subcultures gave themselves to various "polymorph LARPs" permanently. This is the reason why the elven empire is now in decline, and why they hate orcs so much.

>"This is Vermy, my ratsona"

>The Rat-Elves keep up this elf appearance because they are afraid of being killed otherwise
>Humans have actually figured out that they aren't real elves a while ago
>They just either don't want to burst the Rat-Elves bubbles, or they think that Rat-Elves really want to be Elves

>centaurs, bird-people, lizardmen and minotaurs don't actually exist
>they're all fake races created for bored elves to play

>oh I can't wait to show you my new minotaur, he's the butchest slab of monster beef ever

>While they started off as fake LARP polymorph personas meant for bored elves, enough LARPers decided that they preferred these alternate lifestyles that they never ended the charade.

>Eventually they began having children in these polymorphed forms, raising them as if the cultures and histories they'd constructed for their LARP races were genuine.

>In the modern era, these races are now legitimate and know nothing of their frivolous and artificial creations, leaving the original elven civilization much in decline.

>Only the elves know the truth, and resent their former kinfolk for leaving them, especially the orcs who have since made war against their ancestors several times over the centuries.

>Elf scientists give polymorph potions to elf larpers, in order to create an experiment about nomadic tribal structures
>300 years later, the elf empire is pillaged by the descendants of those larpers, that know nothing but orc life.
>"What experiment? I never did any experiment. Leave me alone or I'll call the guards!"

>occasionally a minotaur gets hit by a dispel magic or wanders into an antimagic zone and turns into a very confused elf
>sometimes these races give birth to throwback elf children who either get killed or have to struggle really hard to fit in
>your character is a female elf born to some minotaurs whose struggling really hard to complete her hunter test of strength

>implying that you won't end up with a beef slab with pointy ears instead of a minotaur

Dammit Veeky Forums, refined, civilized beings turning into feral creatures by their own volition is such a fucking turnon for me.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS

>At the end of the adventure, finally comes across an Alter Race scroll.
>Beautiful elf maiden becomes a massive minotaur.
>Enters the legend as Lola Heartbreaker.

>Elves are rats
So nothing changes?

>turns into a male minotaur

Wtf I love elves now