Which ship's basketball team would win in a tournament against the others if they all play an equal number of matches?

But what if they have to re-learn Basketball, the game having been lost or diluted into new iterations over the thousands of years that have passed since the Federation era?

Not sure about the Empire, they probably have basketball but call it something else.

Starship might get fucked because they're just cool with xenos, and I don't think the Imperium would like that.

>Allowing non-humans to play Human sports

I think it's fair to assume everyone gets a little rulebook to brief them beforehand

Imagine an Eldar Wraithlord playing basketball.

What sports? What books?
Yeah, the Imperial team might report to their coach (commissar) that someone on the Fed team has green skin, then he'd break out the BLAMs at half-time.
Surely a wraithlord could just slamdunk without the need to jump. It'd be like Squats VS Harlem Globetrotters

The Enterprise is the only ship with any blacks on the crew, so it wins any sporting activity (excluding hockey) easily.

Don't forget swimming as well.

But what if they were going up against the Salamanders? :^)

Sometimes, I forget just how poorly the 40k writers understand concepts like scale.

Then again, they have ships that use physical ammunition and cathedrals on the exterior, so "stupid" doesn't even begin to describe how awful the designs are.

Nearest Culture GSV

The Imperium has the best odds purely because they have a larger number of potentials to choose from, many in fairly good physical shape.

I'd rate the Federation about as highly, though. Instead of brute forcing a good team out of an enormous crew, they could just practice in the holodeck.

Most likely, the feddies already have a team ready to go. Sports and similar electives are part of the star fleet academy and they spend a lot of time wandering through deep space with nothing better to do.

...

>"I have reviewed a number of various NBA games and notable players across the history of the sport. I believe I am able to compete with optimum level of skill Captain. Now, if you'll excuse me, as they say "I'm going to have to style on some fools.""

Can we squeeze in the Ishumura? As they legitimately have a Zero-G basketball team.

Y'know, we know it's gonna happen sooner or later, so I'm just going to skip to the end.

>Lazy as fuck Culture people who have drones do everything while they spend all their time in orgies and simulations.
>Winning a physical sport against the heroes of the Imperium

Team T4 - IZ12110717B of the Galactic Empire has no aim and shitty mass-produced equipment since they waste all the funding on big fleets and massive projects that constantly get destroyed

The Emperor's Finest are all eager to bring glory to their coach, too eager, so they end up destroying the court, literally beating the shit out of the enemy team with their bear hands while their followers keep yelling horrible slurs against the xenos present at the game, so they always get kicked out because of really REALLY bad sportsmanship.

The Feds always follow the rules to the letter, they study and train constantly and are the only ones who act like a normal team should so they win by default

This is nonsense.

Even without the Astartes (doping), an Imperium cruiser could probably assemble a team of 7+ foot tall dudes from the IG on board and Ogryns. Techpriests would be dunking from the ground with mechadendrites. And of course, Tactical Genius.

I wish this meme about Orks would die.

If it's the Legends Galactic Empire, the ImpStar Deuce has this in the bag. The Empire knows all about SLAM and Jam.

Well that's just silly.

It's only fair. If space marines can not believe bullets out of existence, why can't orks believe bullets into existence?

Does the Imperium have support from the Salamander chapter?

This is very important.

Well Cain shouts Harriers for the Cup at a bezerker at some point, but I forget what sport that was for.

>If space marines can not believe bullets out of existence, why can't orks believe bullets into existence?

Jaden! Get the fuck off the internet and get a job!

Trek ships are small as fuck wheras 40k ships have untold thousands for crew.

The Empire loses as they don't have anywhere aboard ship for the team to practise.

As for Federation vs Imperium:
- Training: There is bound to be some Imperium ship where basketball is still a thing for that ships culture. So that crew will know how to play well because their officers would have trained from when they learned to walk. That ship can pick its best team. The Federation throwing whoever volunteers into the holodeck won't make up for that.
- Physical capability: Ogryns aren't going to understand the rules, so they won't be on the team. Vulcans, or whatever other stronger than human species the Federation puts on the team, do understand the rules. So the Federation has the edge. Augmentations are a question though. The Imperium might agree that they aren't honourable. Or the ship might not have enough augmented crew to build a team as the Ad-Mech are likely to sit out the match*, leaving the only augmented competitors being crew members who have needed augmentations to deal with battle injuries.

*Unless the prize is something they really want.

The Mars engineering team decides to have a mechanical giggle and shows up with basketball-calibrated autotargeters featuring built in ballistic curve computation hardwirings feeding the results directly into their limb-actuators.
They proceed to chain together 3s from the center of the field until the game ends.

The only thing it fails to take into account is Void Shields, but ultimately those only draw out the conflict, they don't change the result, since the Imperium cannot overcome its three basic weaknesses:
1) The worst FTL of the three, including a total lack of FTL sensors;
2) The vast lack of knowledge on how their own technology works;
3) Rampant xenophobia making it impossible for them to work with another faction for any protracted length of time.

the hangar alone could fit ten courts

Star Destroyer. Team formed from dark troopers trained by Thrawn.

>Captain, I recomend three-point field goal, full spread.

Untold thousands of malnourished half deaf highly radiated twice maimed crew.

>implying Thrawn's trainees will be any match for guys who learned from CREEEEEEEEED

>Imperial navy
>CREEEED

That's wrong.

>implying Guard never travels on Navy vessels

And? It's a mars class battlecruiser. Guard rides transports. Also Creed is the Lord Castellan of Cadia. I'm not sure how much does he travel through the galaxy.

Trek ships have hundreds running up to thousands of crewmen, and there's a very high officer to enlisted ratio.
40k crews are a handful of officers, a pile of enforcers, and everyone else are labor slaves who need to be threatened by thugs or wretches living in the bilge equivalent area that only count as crew when the slaves start running low and the enforcers go down to grab more slaves.

Point conceded about the battlecruiser/transport thing.

>CREEEEEEEEED
Astra Millitarum are separate from Imperial Navy.

They also shove guard units in ships other than escorts. There's a lot of room in Imperium ships.