Things that happen when the warrior slot is a paladin instead of a fighter

Things that happen when the warrior slot is a paladin instead of a fighter.

"It's a good thing I can cast divine magic as well as just waving a sword around or that might have been dangerous!"

They contribute out of combat

>warrior sloth

>Things that happen when the warrior slut is a paladin instead of a fighter.

>whole entire main quest gets constantly derailed as the paladin bullies the rest of the party into doing things the lawful good way

>paladins can't into dexterity
>aren't good with ranged weapons

And what is he going to do when we have a flying enemy? Shout bible quotes at him?

Yes

The entire party is driven into prostitution because the paladin insists it's not lewd as long as their earnings go to a good cause (like buying better weapons to fulfill their quest with).

Sure, the sin is diminished if it's collective. It's far more pure to all get into it together.

>Party is crossing deadly Badlands canyon
>Party Is attacked a troop of hungry Harpies
>Paladin starts preaching to them about the grace of his chosen god and how they should repent their wicked ways and convert
>Sermon goes on about how the Harpies are condemned to a life to of squalor and starvation if they do not cease their sinful raider ways,
>Continues on about his god will protect and provide salvation and sustenance to all those who follow him and repent.
>Harpies stop attacking and calm down to ask questions about this God, to which Preacher-Paladin happily obliges
>Harpy leader asks that since he is a servant of that god, would he not be obligated to offer supplies and food to hungry converts.
>Preacher-din of course, agrees as it would be the will and decree of his God.
>Harpies all "convert" and follow the Party around to bum free food off of them and pretend to listen to the Preacher-din's Sermon, as well as help kill the occasional monster.
>Stretches the Parties supplies thin, but through scavenging, magics, and rationing, they get by
>The more they hang around, The more the see Miracles and feats of strength from the now malnourished Preacher-din, who is giving up his own supplies so that his "flock" may eat
>"Man this guy's no joke, he's serious about all those divine decrees."
>"If these are the kinds of followers he has, he must be a powerful and wise god"
>By the time the party reaches town, The harpies have become as Evangelical and righteous as the Preacher-din.
>Settle down and offer protection to town and Expouse the glory of the god.
>Town becomes the first place ever to have a Convent of that God run by Harpy Priestesses/Holy Warriors
>Nature God is shocked that his control over his creations has been usurped by a dumb, bible-thumping, yokel, missionary of some minor god.

An abnormally high number of cliffs and pitfall traps placed in a misguided attempt to make people fall.

Aww gee now somebody needs to draw harpies in a nun outfit.

Is not in perma-fear/domination/sleep whatever

So how do you make a Fighter fall anyway?

I find that a rope stretched between two sticks works wonders.

he picks up a spellbook and becomes useful

I like the cut of your jib. Please tell me more about your Lord and Savior?

Lightning spears! praise the sun!

PUSSIES

That's seriously adorable.

You need to have a GM that is willing and open to non-violent solutions, though. Mine always tried to tell me creatures that are trying to kill me wouldn't stop to listen to my oration. Can't solve problems with words if the guy in charge of who listens says no one does.

Alright, and now its time for a good 'ol fashion hoedown!

First off, we're going to need a topic.

Rivers!

Undead

Long may the Sun shine.

Sounds good to me! The Undead Veeky Forums Hoedown.

Whenever you're ready Anons!

My cleric did this with the goblin tribe in the beginning of storm kings thunder. Alo when we found them raiding the town, one of them had a pumpkin stuck on its head. Instead of getting the pumpkin off of its head, I decided to cast light on it, causing it to glow bright blue, as I am storm domain. After several days of casting light on the pumpkin whenever the spell ran out, it exploded, and the goblin was given the blessing of Krisbay, who my cleric worships. That goblin has now fully convinced the tribe to convert to Krisbay, after we helped them overthrow their current ruler.

>when your bard is a deaf mute

My husband died, he fell into a ditch
Couldn't raise him as a vamp, instead he's a lich
Even though I love him, it's getting really tough
It's hard to fuck your husband when his dick keeps falling off

I wanted a zombie waifu, so I became a necromancer
Decided to go a'grave robbing to find parts to enhance her
It wasn't till I was about to animate my rotting bride.
My new "in-laws" were upon me to devour my insides!

Man, that first book was seriously awesome. I remember really liking the second book two. Were the other ones any good?

I animate skeletons, but it's an uphill battle,
Because I find that all they do is rattle rattle rattle.
I won't be so unhappy about it if they would
Stop making puns about how bones are just as good as wood.

>Undead hoedown
>Most people still manage to make dick jokes
Never change, Veeky Forums

...

After about 4 or 5 the series goes downhill. The characters stayed okay, but the stories of each book just plummets. On the bright side, they're still a good read.

Is this loss?

We need hoedown verse #4! C'mon people! I don't want to write another one!

I was eating brains one day, it tasted pretty yummy
But then I felt a gurgle, oh a rumbling in my tummy!
I tried my best with no success, I couldn't keep it in
I guess that's what I get for trying to eat a paladin.

Eeeeeat aaaaa paaaaalaaaaadiiiiiiiin!

Or the DM just says Fucking No and harpies scratch out paladins eyes out.

The it sounds like you've got a boring DM who thinks it's badwrongfun. But then again, considering that this is Veeky Forums, that's par for the course.

sauce?

>>paladins can't into dexterity

You know, whatever floats your boats, but aren't harpies obligate cannibals?

Also, I'm not gonna let the party just do their stupid missionary work on monsters all the time. Everyone can have fun in the way they want to, but my games of fighting ever larger threats leaves little room for making your weird harpy nuns.

>this fucking guy

...and then 20 years down the line you get adorable halfling harpy children!

Yeah, a loss of self-respect because you decided to do a dex-build and be a pussy.

>Not wanting a campaign revolving around converting monsters, bandits, and outcasts to the light and create an army of holy scrusaders in the name of your lord
>Not wanting to run a campaign where your goal is to raise your chosen God from a minor regional deity, to an important contender in the pantheon.

Paganicus detected.

Also P. S. Harpies being only cannibals would be pretty stupid. If you can eat human, you can eat other meat too.

we did it tg!

>You know, whatever floats your boats, but aren't harpies obligate cannibals?
No.

>Also, I'm not gonna let the party just do their stupid missionary work on monsters all the time.
I don't think anyone is saying that it should work ALL the time. But if the players try to come up with creative(or even less than creative) solutions to random encounters, I think it should work at least some of the time.