What are the most endearingly naive things you've seen characters do?

What are the most endearingly naive things you've seen characters do?

not endearing but naive
>negotiate with Goblins

Climb up onto another party member's shoulders to stick a torch into what turned out to be a flame-thrower trap.

Our party was sent to find a specific gemstone. We found it in a chest among 'coloured baubles and exquisite marbles' which we promptly left behind because we thought it was literally just glass balls in the chest rather then the DM just being flowery in describing countless gemstones.

Granted we should have asked for clarification but I hate it when the DM inadequately explains things or uses purple prose. Leads to everyone doing stupid shit.

>character gets locked in a room with a bowl that says "fill me"
>places bowl on his head
>DM says fuck it since the bowl was technically looking for fresh living matter

What was it originally looking for semen?

>Me playing dwarf fighter
>Friend playing gnome bard
>Need to sneak into noble's mansion for some reason or another
>Best combatant in the party is me
>If infiltrating the mansion goes sour, the gnome won't survive
>Place gnome on shoulders
>Cover self up with blanket wrapped around gnome's shoulders
>Manage to convince guards on backdoor that collectively we are a single tired, homeless human caught outside in the cold and desperate for a fire
>Get inside, ushered to the fire by concerned servants, struggling to move around as dark vision doesn't mean shit trying to see through a thick woolen blanket
>Given hot drink, gnome pats 'belly' in satisfaction, hitting me on the face
>One guard questions why we're sitting down strangely
>From their perspective it looks as if our hips are at the knee of the 'person'
>Tear away blanket
>Reveal angry dwarf pointing a crossbow at them

I don't know why we thought it would work.

"My mother's name was Butcher, my daughter's name will be Butcher," this enormous woman introduced herself to our party. So I had my druid put a hand on her belly and ask her when she was due.

>Party captures enemies

>party interrogates enemies

>ok, you all can go now. Don't let us catch you being evil again!

Well, the word 'baubles' does imply a high degree of worthlessness, but the marbles were described as exquisite!

For a while, my party had a habit of interrogation. it was against cultists that were essentially completely nuts, but one time i waterboarded a dude until the paladin NPC started giving exposition. I'd have probably kept going until he died, if they hadn't. Instead he's now in a prison cell because we took him into the city guard.

Blood or meat, I guess.

We did this all the time in one of my longest-running campaigns. It only bit us in the ass a few times, and we got some allies out of it. It was nice not going full murderhobo for a change.

>not taking the marbles anyway.
Its still a chest full of glass thats sure to be worth something.

Hell its at least free marbles you should always keep a supply of marbles

Fuck, you could sell them to kids as toys. Where's the entrepreneurial spirit in the group.

underrated post

Not me but a player of mine. As a Chaos Champion in the northern wastes he trusted a Dark Elf commander to return for him and his men after they shield the Elves' from the Orc horde, so they can get to their ships.

I assume I don't have to tell you how it ended.

That's not so much "using purple prose" as it is "trying to use purple prose and failing because you don't know what words mean".

As says, "baubles" are not how you'd describe anything of substantial value. "Marbles" is a pretty misleading term to use for describing gems too.

>party (just two people right now, bard and wizard) approaches a cliff inside a dark cave with a ramp leading down to the bottom.
>Wizard casts light on a rock and drops it down.
>suddenly loud screaming from down below. They see nothing there but mushrooms.
>Let's try throwing light somewhere else! Wizard casts light on a new rock beside him.
>screaming stops
>drops the glowstone down the pit.
>screaming resumes.
>rinse and repeat
>well, we can't see the enemy... let's just cast firebolt into the darkness
>(b/c fire light) screaming resumes.
>Unable to find the threat after half an hour, they descend into the field of fungus, careful to stjmble through it in the dark so that the spooky monster won't get them.
>it was just some wild shriekers the whole time...

I would have pissed in it.

One time, the first thing a character did after seeing a wild fox is try to feed it like it was a domesticated pet. My character advised against doing that and he got bitten for his trouble.

Yeah.
Anons party was silly for not just looting everything they come across anyway but the dm did fuck up.

in a shadowrun game i played a female mage who was probably best described as an adorable ball of naivety and social obliviousness. dm asked us not to make hardcore runners so i went 180 with the mentality for kicks while still building a solid summoner/sniper so i didn't get geeked game one.

as i said she had no memories save a month of backstory where she pretty much hid in the sewers with a bunch of other SURGE's (read freaks and furrys) she had a childlike mindset and was super literal unless someone explained double meanings.
some of my favorite moments were

selling looted weapons to a contact
him: "and are these weapons hot?"
me: "oh no they haven't been fired in a while"
him: blank stare "i mean are they stolen?"
me: cheerfully "ohh. most definitely we got them from the yakuza!"
him: weary sigh, pinching the bridge on his nose.

casually walking up and reading a dwarves mind in a bar after he got done telling a tall tale to see if it was true, crazy as it sounded he'd only miscounted the height of the building he'd crashed the stolen helicopter into by a few floors, a fact she promptly corrected to anyone who could hear. (unregistered mages are a big no no in SR and even registered ones are greatly feared by most folks for the exact reason she'd just displayed.)

summoning and manifesting a powerful air spirit in a movie theater cause the movie monster scared her, so much free popcorn after that snafu.

thinking a simple illusion was enough to fool her runner friends when she still did all her usual things at the ice cream shop they met at before a run. they all just greeted her by name and she got all huffy thinking they saw through her spell.

trying to provide first aid to a werewolf mid transformation, thinking he was just a wolf looking SURGE who was in a lot of pain.

asking a Johnson "whats a renraku?" while the face was trying to negotiate the details of a job.(one of the big 10 AAA corps)

Lost Mine of Phandelver

The party made a deal with Yeemik, the Goblin leader just under Klarg, the bugbear leader.

The fighter was the one who made the rolls to convince Yeemik to both release sildar, and help them go find and kill Klarg, so he was really proud and thought for sure that Yeemik and him were going to become pals

I should say that they had managed to capture one of the goblins from the very first encounter, and through magical manipulation over the course of the next day (poor gobbo had at least three charm spells on him) the already weak-willed goblin had become friends with the party, so I think the fighter player thought the same could be done with Yeemik.

Anyway, they kill Klarg and leave Yeemik in charge of the Cragmaw clan, Yeemik having agreed to pay the party 60% of what the Cragmaws in that area brought in to him whenever the party stopped by.

Fast forward to Phandalin, the party is trying to figure out how they could take out the redbrands and liberate the town. It was 3 level 3 PCs vs. about 30 redbrands + glastaff, so they didn't have a chance solo.

Then the fighter realizes in a flash of jubilation that they totally have a clan of Goblins who are totally allied with the party! He himself volunteers to ride out back to the hideout and to get Yeemik and his goblins to come help them fight.

Anyway the Fighter gets to the hideout and low and behold, no fucking goblins. The player got butthurt but I threw him a bone and he picked up gobbo tracks,

flash forward and he finds Yeemik and about a dozen gobbos a while away, holding several Dwarves hostage. Fighter player yells bloody murder and murders the fuck out of yeemik, goblins flee in terror, he recruits the drunk dwarves (they were just lumberjacks but hey) to fight the redbrands.

The fighter rolls into town right when the redbrands found the pc's hideout (Edermath's place), drunk on dwarven ale and with a compliment of drunk dwarf lumberjacks at his side

That's hilarious and a bit cute.

That sounds awful to play with.
Chaotic stupid to the next level.

>stuck in a foreign country far, far away from home
>one of the party members is sent to buy food for the whole team
>that fucker spends most of the party's money on a fuckton of tangerines because he remembers from his childhood that "they are really tasty"
>tangerines quickly go bad because of the warm climate
>everyone tries to keep their rage under control
>that one fucker still doesn't understand why everyone is angry at him

Beautiful

A goblin leader named Klarg? DM must be a fan of The Adventure Zone.

The party's healslut healed a monster that was dying and unconscious while other party members were still fighting other monsters.

>Pirate captain to crew: "Alright, I'm entitled to 50% off all the loot you've found, so pony up!"
>Alien crew member looks at the ugly painting he found, snaps off a half and hands it to the captain.
>Captain: "...You can keep that, big guy"

Its little moments like these that really make a party feel like a party