/5eg/ D&D Fifth Edition General: Sheila's knickers edition part 2

Most people consider picking any spells you want to be stronger since it lets you customize your spell list a lot more. A bard can be just as good of a debuffer as a wizard while ALSO throwing out incredible heals, and being a super strong skill monkey. Take aura of life and your team's healing is taken care of, ditto with aura of vitality. The only thing I don't think Lore bards can do very well is blasting but that's not really a big deal.

>Or is being able to pick a few spells from any spell list better than having a huge spell list and changing spells between rests?
Yes.

You fail to understand just how impactful this really is. They don't have a limit here, and they can convert spells that would have required a different casting stat, to count as a bard spell for all intents and purposes.

That is already insane, but also getting full access to ALL SPELLS in the game is completely absurd, disregarding how flexible their spell pool is before magical secrets even becomes relevant.

Throw in everything else bards have (Skilled in literally everything, and being able to throw out inspiration dice like candy) means they can both rival a Wizard in raw casting power potential, while ALSO being far better supporters.

Is your mount able to attack while you ride it? Most of beastmaster's damage comes from the animal now that their extra attack goes to the beast.

Stop being a little bitch.

Truly bards do not know right from wrong.

So one of my players is constanty trying to seduce every female NPC he encounters.
How do I properly fuck him over? It's getting really annoying.

you could blast if you could, but it's usually not worth it.

aren't also valor bards the best gishes?

One of them is an succubus and drains him

magic herpes? let his reputation for a womanizer spread and get succubied, or robbed or honeypotted

>Fade to black
>Make a dex roll
>make a strength roll
>make two con rolls
>Your character returns to the party, walking awkwardly.
>You're at a -4 to all dex rolls and need to pass a DC 20 fortitude check to move above half speed.
Then keep correcting the party member whenever they refer to the NPC as "her"

Tell him you are uncomfortable having to RP all these women who don't want to fuck him. Maybe just start having all the women in the campaign be hideous and man-voiced. Throw a passing tranny at him and don't reveal it until he's in. Succubus. STDs. Anal circumference. Traps. Women who agree but only as a ruse to trap you. Women who shout RAAAAAAAAAPE and cause the guards to come in.

Can't see why not?

What's the best dex-heavy two sword guy: two weapon Battlemaster or Swashbuckler rogue?

reposting from last thread but
vgtm question
I dm for my group and was wondering if letting kolbolds have either a resistance, the kolbold inventor's trait, or a pool of 3 sorcery points and 1 or 2 metamagic options be too much? I feel like sunlight sensitivity and pack tactics cancel out so the strength loss needs something else to balance it, and it fits the monster statblocks.
Would letting orcs gain 1 or both of the half orc options be too strong?

Incubus disguised as a woman with a massive horsecock and magic herpes it is then.

One great thing about volo's is with the long reaching arms, double speed, magical resistance and other bullshit now in play you can basically use any third party and homebrewed race and be confident you're probably not any more broken than official options.

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Forgot to thank you guys. Manners are important, dont forget that.

Kek

Have the magical herpes be a curse from the incubus's jealous hag wife. Also have her prank the PC by appearing a nubile maiden then revealing herself, warts and all, just as they get back to a room.

No need to thank us, we should thank you for letting us give your player magical herpes from an incubus.

One of them is actually a giant spider.

Everything turns out to be spiders.

You could always dual wield lances while mounted

Dude, see oglaf.com 8 legs of love.

Ways to make players feel "cold" in 5e? The DMG isn't helping very much and just letting my players roll con to get exhausted on a fail is pretty boring.

How do I transfer the freezing climate the characters experience walking through snowy forests for hours, days or weeks into rolls or anything like that?

is this legal, RAW? i know it's munchkin-y and cheese as fuck but, has any of the devs talk about it.

Yes. If you're mounted, you can use a lance one-handed (see the special rules for the lance).

You'll need the dual wielding feat to actually use TWF with lances, though.

Serve Ice cream and lower your thermostat

4e was pretty good.

When they're settling in for a rest ask them how their characters are trying to keep warm. Let their imaginations do your work.

Currently using a 6th level sorcerer with a "Sorcery point" Varient spellcasting. Instead of spell slots I just have a large number of Sorcery points based off the "Spellpoint varient" casting from DMG, and boy is it so versatile and fun. Plays entirely different to the party wizard, who packs more tactful and tailored choices, its fun just being more than the poor mans wizard.

Want to spam high level spells and pretend to be a warlock? Super fun. Want to spam low level spells all day? Can do. Points to burn and enemies to also burn? Go nova and really let loose with Quicken Cantrip every turn. It's so fun and easy to use although the only concern is that it can be a little too easy to spend your points too quickly and be left without much power remaining, but hell that is perfect for a sorcerer. Plus nothing was quite as fun as the encounter where we knew we were taking a long-rest after and I still had a large amount of points to spend so I went full nova dropping a 3rd level spell and a quickened cantrip each turn, although I suppose this would have still been possible and viable as a standard caster.

Anyone else played with the spell point rules or similar?

Do armors include helmets and other stuff? I want to say that my breastplate is supplemented by a mail hauberk, a helmet, bracers and faulds. No AC impact, just descriptive stuff. Or do I actually have to switch to another armor to have those things?

Tell everyone next session is Funny T-shirt Night. Fill a Windex bottle with water, crank the A/C, set up some oscillating fans, and spritz them all night.

Probably swashbuckler. Two weapon fighting scales very badly on a fighter, because eventually the extra damage from the bonus action attack won't measure up to the potential damage lost by not using a heavier weapon, nor will it be as useful as a shield. On a swashbuckler, the bonus action attack is much more useful, because it increases your chance of landing an attack and then doing sneak attack damage. The rogues damage potential is kind of all or nothing, 2 attacks increases your chance of getting all instead of nothing.

I enjoy using the spell point rules for sorcerers in particular. It fits them very well to sort of have a more generic well of energy.

A fun bonus as well is that Sorcery points line up almost perfectly with Spell points in terms value.

I played a regular sorc to level 6 and it was fucking miserable, I'm gelatinous

Unless your dm has a 10 foot pole up his ass there's no reason you couldn't flavour your armour up like that. Might double check with the DM about a helmet, but the rest should be fine for most people.

>What is your favorite monster, and how are you going to buff it up to CR 30? Then, how is your party going to beat it?

A random basic boar who has a 1000ft aura of death that people need to CON or CHA save 30 or die, thrown once for every 5ft moved.

They just need to find a way to drop a boar at 1000ft in a single hit inside a dense forest without stepping once into the area of it's aura.

>Unless your dm has a 10 foot pole up his ass
Most DMs are like this unfortunately.

>breastplate is supplemented by a mail hauberk, a helmet, bracers and faulds
Is it not just half-plate at this point? I'm not sure any DM would really care

burn it all down.

If a spell was cast using a higher level slot, you will need a higher level Dispel Magic to automatically snuff it out, right?

Burn the fucking forest to the ground. Surround it with hireling archers. Shoot all the fucking boars that come out of the forest. Don't aim, fire in large volleys.

You hear a cowardly squeal that is rapidly closing in. The boar moves at a brisk pace of 80ft a turn in your direction, despite the flames. Some of the archers have died. What do you do now as the boar closes towards you?

Any chance people can post their hexographer maps. Im trying to make one and im not sure my land masses are right. Looking to gain some inspiration please and thank you.

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The archers clearly didn't do what they were told to do.

>thanks for letting us give your player herpes
Kek

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>aura of death

So is my undead army okay?

Both the GM's I play with are using a current rule with Volo's guides.

Stats are -1 instead of -2, because that way at least you can still start with a servicable 14. No wizard can get away with only a +1 to start, but a +2 is passable.

Want to play a Kobold Barbarian? 14 strength goes a long way compared to 13.

Wish it to die.

WIZARD, GOT BETTER THINGs TO DO THEN HUNT BOARS

>Woman the player has bedded screams rape as he's entering her, the sound is loud enough to be heard hundreds of yards away.
>Guards immediately rush the tavern, kicking the bedroom door down, swords and shields at the ready.
>They proceed to drag the woman out of the tavern and into the busy street outside.
>Woman is then stoned by the jeering towns people for allowing herself to be raped.

New party has a kenku. Would a typical wood elf have a problem with kenku? Not looking to start any shit, just a lore question.

What're the best ways to take down Tiamat? Goddamn.

Create a helmed horror immune to the aura. Send it to kill it.

>Cast goodberry
>Suddenly the woman is protected by a giant pumpkin appearing around her

What level are you/your group, why are you trying to fight tiamat, and are you on the material plane or fighting her in the planes of hell to kill her for good?

They are normally gang members/dickass thieves but outside of that there shouldn't be anything

Can Lore Bard be a gish? Maybe start with fighter or paladin level?

The effective range of a longbow is just shy of 1000ft. They die before they can let loose if they are prepared and as they loose the arrows, the boar has ran past most of them.

You cannot estimate where the boar is broadly speaking. You just ruined 360ft radius of forest for nothing.

Your undead army cannot catch the boar.

The arcane forces of the universe form a massive hand of force and slap you for wasting it's time to channel the might of Wish to kill a single boar. You lose your 9th level spell slot until you succeed a CHA 24 check to appease the forces of the universe.

I don't know what that is, so therefore it does not exist until I see a statblock.

The boar is closing in on a small village at a rapid pace. The farms outside are already lost. What do you do now?

Why not just go valor?

It depends how Raven-like your Kenku is and how wood elf your wood elf is.

.....um...what?

>Varient Human, Level 2 Warlock, Level 3 Sorcerer.
Spell Sniper, Eldrich Spear, Far-Metamagic.
>360noscope then drop it from 1200ft away.

If you were my GM, I'd fucking punch you in the face for that bullshit.

At level 5 you get 2 bolts dealing 1d10+4 damage each.

Just add Deal-with-it-Shades (Applied by Familiar) and Fingerguns.

The arcane force of the GM call the police and report you for assault and battery.

Because cutting word is better than combat inspiration.

My fist connects with his ugly smug face and applies arcane force to his teeth once again.

Hold up. Are you playing FATAL or something?

Playing the last dregs of Rise, everything went to shit, players are all 20th with customized magic items, we're fighting her on the material plane.

>You cannot estimate where the boar is broadly speaking. You just ruined 360ft radius of forest for nothing.
>Forest with a 1000ft aura of death running around in it
It's already fucked, I'll keep going till its dead

Police (Variant Human Paladin 1/Fighter 14) imprisons you. Judge (Variant Human 18 Cleric) casts Judgement on you. Roll a diplomacy 50 save or be paralyzed for 2d4 years

Leave for shit immature DM who keep moving his goal and doesn't understand the main why TTRPG was create in the first placd.

It's to win the game against the players, right?

So I want to run a wartime game in 5th ed set in the past of my setting sort of modeled off of the mtg Fallen Empires story line.
Player races would be Human, Elf (wood and high), Dwarf, and Triton.
It takes place after a war between the churches of Tourach (god of death) and Illutivan (dead god of life) and both the climates are changing and populations suffering as there are more and more still-born babies.
It'll be confined to one continent and be most a losing war though the players can achieve victories and might be able to change the tide of the war if they do well enough.
Thoughts?
Concerns?

I cast white privilege, get let go with a slap on the wrist and "boys will be boys"

Don't make them regular rank-and-file grunts. Give them some freedom.

The judge has racial Immunity to White Privilege from his variant human (non-american) and casts "Sir Calm Down". Roll DC 15 WIS save or be enraged and confused for 1d3 rounds.

Thank god you're not my DM, you have way too many asspulls to actually have fun with

Rolled 16 (1d20)

I've got a +2 mod but no proficiency in WIS.

What the fuck has this thread descended to?

You assume that I didn't think of all of this before hand.

You succeed. Following this you may reduce your paralyze by 1d6 years, but take 1d4 years of entangled, make DC10 INT or WIS save each week or be paralyzed 2d4 years, no save to reduce.

Let's just kill this faggot and feed him to the pigs.

Guys, my character just died and I wanted to roll out a total meme character.

Kobold Entertainer Lore Bard, wears the brightly coloured clothes and bells of a clown or jester. Tumbles around the battlefield and literally does clown-things. Story is his master and kin were destroyed by adventurers and he survived by doing the one thing he knows how, begging and pledging his undying servitude.

Ends up getting brought into a travelling circus troupe which is a cover for an undercover monster hunter named Rictavio. He fufilled his duties both as a performer and as an accomplice, usually serving as a painfully obvious distraction. Like, the only reason a kobold in bright red and yellow clothes would suddenly start a juggling and tumbling routine infront of you in the middle of the night is to dsitract you from something shady going on but you just can't look away.

Does this sound fun enough to do despite being such an obvious meme.

Anybody get the impression they made the kobold deliberately shit so people wouldn't be able to enact Pun-pun shenanigans?

>not a satire bard

I implore you to reconsider.

It will ruin your game and your group. Don't do it.

No. Despite what you've read you could never enact Pun-pun shenanigans in a real game.

The Police imprison you. Make DC 50 Diplomacy save or be paralyzed for 4d4 years. After paralyze ends, take -8 on all CHA saves.
, but gain a +2 on all STR, DEX and CON saves.

Rolled 1, 9 + 49 = 59 (2d20 + 49)

Rolling with advantage due to my stunning looks.