The king requests the party deal with a strange new cult. Its followers are all healthy, beautiful, extremely polite...

Because they're heretics.

Are they hurting anyone?
Are they advocating a dangerous, destructive ideology?
Are they failing to contribute their fair share to society?

Definitely 3, pretty much 2, and 1 by virtue of 2.

On what grounds do you make this accusation?

Mormon here. He's afraid we might force our beliefs and traditions on others. Most notoriously that of green jello.

Aw naw you one of them uppity Provo gits what thinks you know better then the rest of us aren't you? Everybody knows orange jello is the truth, stop trying to make your own doctrine.

What, are you from Spanish Fork? I bet you've got matching braces with your kids, and you haven't updated the stickers on the back of your pickup truck by at least one child.

Induct them into the Fantasy Bureau of Investigation otherwise known as the FBI. Due to their strong ties to the community, aversion to leverage from addictions such as gambling, alcohol, and powdered pixie dust, and their strong belief in a centralized civil authority separate from their religious authority they make perfect allies for the ruling class.

One might even consider inducting them into the higher ranks of nobility, as they are exemplary models for the lower classes to follow.

Indeed, their private tithing of 10% of their income towards educational centres and charities through their religion on top of their taxes make them stabilizing influences that result in greater prosperity for whatever town they happen to have a significant presence in.

South Jordan son, up in the superior valley.

Calgary, Alberta.

Alberta has a shit ton of Mormons it turns out. Most of us Jack.

Ah, too far north to be truly called Mormonville, but too far south to be anywhere actually nice. Me, I'm smack in the middle of Mormonville USA: Lehi, border of Highland.

My buddy was just in Canada Mandarin speaking you think we any better down here?

>and believe in easily disproven nonsense
I convince them to stop using disease halting potions because they cause brain retardation to their children. There wont be a second generation.

Just far enough north to be out of the madness. You are smack dab in the middle of the Eye of Tie over the shoulder Heresy

Well, you do have BYU. Meh, I feel like 90% of all Mormons would leave if it weren't for Churchball and Potlucks.

For those wondering why he hell Mormons are on Veeky Forums, well... what else are we supposed to do but obsess over supremely nerdy stuff. I've got three FLGS within a 5 minutes drive, and 5e was a godsend in the way of popular entertainment. Eventually we make our way to the various internet communities. Mostly Reddit, some to Giant in the Playground, and us precious few to here, where people know how to think.

That's a little bleak, i'd say like 40 maybe, and you would not believe the crap that happens at the Y

It's true. I mean we don't drink or smoke or go to clubs and look for a one night stand , so we sublimate that into other things like games and sports and music and stuff.

Oh, hell yeah shit happens at the Y. Not Mormon, but Utah resident... nowhere else do you have a community so sexually repressed that someone was crazy enough to create the BYU Sex Club.

No really? Your kidding? I have got to troll my buddy down at the Y with that, he never shuts up about the U.

What's so bleak about it? Churchball and Potlucks are awesome.

Just, you know, don't question the faith too closely and enjoy the healthy and happy lifestyle.

It's not like we're Jehovahs. Those are some miserable bastards, always going on about the world ending.

> precious few to here, where people know how to think.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Eh, it was years ago in the club registry, basically a bunch of Jack Mormons who were just crazy enough to decide to hook up and complained enough to get themselves a club. It was a thing.

Now, that notwithstanding, the Fetlife community is where the real crazy is at. EVERY kink imaginable is practised here. Every. Single. One. Polyamory is basically the underground norm, and I don't even want to begin to tell you about the Littles community.

Think freely when they do so, is what I mean. Reddit is a Hive mind. Gitp is... meh, tumblr is tumblr, and Wizards shut down their forums about a year ago.

Time Magazine voted us the Nerdiest state in the US, basing it on the vast quantity of nerdy topics favorited on Facebook profiles, The sheer number of conventions we run, and other criteria.

Alaska had us beat for Tabletop though, but that's understandable considering their environment.

And yet I still can't find a girl who shares my interests. I mean I can get a date, that's not a problem, I just can't seem to find someone I can connect with.

/tips fedora.

OkCupid. I'm gonna say it straight up, that's probably your best bet. Though you have to be looking for Long-term, if not straight up marriage. and be reasonably Veeky Forums. Match.com is also an option, as is POF, but neither really seemed as nice.

Alright, might as well make it official. Ask a Veeky Forums Mormon thread. Ask a Mormon anything.

To start, we're actually pretty level-headed when it comes to church and state. We vaccinate *all* of our kids, we let them play vidya, and those of us who've heard of Jack T. Chick recognize him for the insane fanatic he is.

You sound nicer than I can ever imagine and I've never even met you.

Right, question time. Does the Mormon Church still control Las Vegas or is that just a myth?

Also, How seriously does the church tithe it's members?

Alright, how anti-gay are most Mormons really?

What's the deal with black people being evil?

Also, if you've read it, what are your thoughts on Steel Ball Run?

>spain
>non catholic
The

>Right, question time. Does the Mormon Church still control Las Vegas or is that just a myth?

I've... I've never even heard of this. It is true that Utah is the US Capital for Pyramid schemes though. You'll see a ton of adds for learning how to flip houses and get rich quick.

>Also, How seriously does the church tithe it's members?

10% of your total income straight up, usually paid in monthly installments, or however you prefer. We're not strict on it though, but we do have a yearly meeting where our bishop asks us if we're a full tithe payer, and most of us will feel guilty if the answer is no. That, plus monthly fast offerings, which assumed to be the average cost of one meal per household. The idea behind a monthly fast is the first Sunday of the month where we skip two meals and pay the difference to the church.

Ah, the big one. Theoretically, According to our doctrine, we shouldn't be. Doctrine is ironclad on Marriage being between a man and a woman, but our doctrine also preaches tolerance and acceptance, even to those who do wrong. According to both scripture and teachings of the prophets we should be kind and accepting.

That's unfortunately not the case due to us living in such a bubble community. The Bible belt is straight up intolerant of gays, but Mormonville is worse.

Mormonville is passive-aggressive.

Every here is fake. Everyone here puts on masks and acts oh-so perfect. Go to any Mormon community outside of Utah, and you'll find Mormons who are *actually* nice. Honestly I hate the people here for that reason only.

If you make lots of kids, can you please stop making so many?
Either that or work on developing space colonization?
Either or, really.
I guess ocean colonization works too, but that's a real half measure.

>mormons in space
Fund it.

Do Mormons generally harbor as much animosity towards Catholics as they do Protestants? Coming from a Catholic background most Catholics I knew regarded Mormons as "weird, but harmless".

Black people aren't evil. I was actually on first name terms with every black guy back in high school, all both of them.

In all seriousness though, that's really the only problem. It's not that we're racist, it's that lack of black culture in Utah means that we have absolutely no clue how to deal with them until we actually have that first encounter. This is only made worse by the fact that public education still covers the subject of civil rights extensively, essentially drilling into our heads on why racism is bad, but never actually giving us real world experience. Outside of Utah, hell, even the US, non-white Mormons make a substantial part of the churches numbers.

Oh, and I just barely started Stone Ocean Arc, so I have no idea about Steel Ball Run.

I see. I vaguely recalled something about mormon scripture having choice words about black people, that's what I was asking about.

The question about SBR wasn't a joke, I'm really interested in the answer to that.

The missionaries of this "new cult" are, at worst, a little over-eager and a mite overbearing. Otherwise they've proven to be the very soul of erudite courtesy. The older ones simply seem happy and polite, and even enjoy a spirited philosophical debate as they walk.

They pose no threat. Indeed, the core values of their cult are self-sacrifice, humility, generosity, mercy and forgiveness. The trappings of their faith are strange to us, but so long as all are consenting and none are harmed, this is, again, no threat.

Are they paying their taxes on time? Yes? Than no laws are being broken, either. Simply inform them to steer clear of construction areas and make way for any guard patrols they encounter.

Oh, sorry. If I gave you my steam or something could we chat when you get there?

Then send in the Sabine Sisters.
It's kind've their job.

That literally does not exist. I mean, the closest thing I can imagine you're talking about is that Cain, the first Murderer, was marked and passed that mark down to his children, which some interpreted it to be the pigmentation of the skin, but I've no clue to the specifics.

Besides, we have a line drilled into our heads that "Man will be punished for his own sins, and not for Adam's transgressions." Basically advocating personal responsibility for one's actions, not that of his ancestors.

Apparently, their faith has inspired a former blackguard to rise up to the light and start bringing the hammer down on the demon-worshiping cannibal tribes out in the desert. I've been told he's softspoken, rampaging engine of holy rage.

How do Mormons view John Browning?

Spanish Fork was named after the Spanish Fork River, which itself comes from some Spanish explorers that traveled through there. Then Mormons settled it and kept the name.

Culture wise it's pretty much the start of the backwoods area of Utah, and is widely regarded by more Northern Utahns as the locale for hillbillies. Everyone has a sort of accent, pronouncing Mountains as "Moutains" and a drawl that leads most people to call it "Spanish Fark" in a derogatory manner

Honestly, we're on pretty good terms with most religions, unless they're outspoken against us. Protestants are really the ones that hate us. Large church displays, like the Nauvoo Pageant(A kind of play detailing the history of the Book of Mormon) will have protesters and devout anti-mormons. Again, the worst I've seen people treat non-mormons is that Passive Aggressive thing, which is bad in its own right, but nowhere near as outward.

I'm on Discord if you've got that.

Sure. What's your name on that? Sorry for getting the black people thing so wrong. I don't know what I was thinking of, then.

if you don't ask the question, you ain't gunna find out

How long were blacks banned from holding positions in the Church again?

Man, those zealous types are always such double edged swords. One minute saving you from cannibals or savages. The next burning you for being a vampire witch.
Im not sure how much i like it.

I'm planning on having maybe two, tops. Personally, I think it's because Mormons are lewd. Heterosexual sex in the missionary position between a married man and a women for the purpose of procreation is literally all we get. So... we tend to do it a lot. I mean, there's even a stigma against Birth Control.

Sign me up! I'll colonize the moon any day of the week.

Elijah Abel. First black man ordained to the priesthood in the church way back in 1836. But other than that yes, your information is correct, there was a period of time black men were not ordained to the priesthood. Can't recall exact years off the top of my head.

Don't know what ward meeting house your hanging out it, but i've never heard of any stigma towards birth control. Abortion yes, but last i checked we had no problem with condoms or the pill. Or maybe that's just me, honestly sex doesn't come up that much at church.

SwivelDiscourse#9013

Personally, I'm on here for Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums only, but a majority of Utahns, Especially those in Spanish Fark, would feel right at home at /k/, so I'd assume rather proud of their local firearms history.

Until 1978. Now, you have to understand that this was an extremely delicate period of time for both African Americans and Mormons. There was a lot of segregation on both sides at the time, even for Mormons. We don't know why it wasn't decided sooner, in fact there were many black LDS converts as well as people within the church hierarchy that pushed for it, but for whatever reason, the leaders of the church did not receive any revelation for African Americans to receive the priesthood until then. Personally, I believe it was to keep both parties safe, but I can really only speak for myself on that.

The red is Mormon controlled and the black have large Mormon populations. many people do not realize how much land the church controls, to put it another way if the US government ever collapsed the Mormons without missing a beat would have complete control over a large part of the country and would be able to feed/house there 15+mil people without assistance from the outside.

Not taking into account the theoretical temporary self sufficiency of each Mormon household based on prior preparations.

Each household the many many stashes all over the country and the huge amounts of farm land they currently run. Huge population centers in south america as well and many small islands all over the globe.

>a million kids each
So we're teaching doctrine to dire rats?

Obviously OP wants to read some edgy posts. Let's give him one.

New cult? Beautiful people? It smells like sulfur and witchcraft. Let's get the Malleus Maleficarum out of the library, take the dirty laundry from the torture rack, start chopping wood for the bonfires, heat the irons, oil the thumb wrench, clear the bones from the cages, get the whips back from the brothel! It's hammer time! Hexenhammer time!

Jews sailing to the Americas and becoming the American Indians. You know that's just not what happened, right? I feel like you could get plenty of enrichment out of the moral teachings and sense of community out of Mormonism, but you kind of just have to know that Jews didn't sail across the ocean thousands of years ago.

Not the guy you're asking the question to, but I've been living in Mormonville for these last couple months and feel that I can respond to this. It's pretty much the core issue of Mormonism, aside from its overall repressive nature and its general tendency of stunting the growth of its members. The LDS Church likes to compound faith upon itself. I've heard from missionaries and regular members alike that if a single core belief of their's is wrong, then the whole religion is wrong and pointless. Basically, you have to believe that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America or believe in nothing at all. This means that when a Mormon is faced with evidence that the Book of Mormon is not a true historical record, for instance, they have two options: reject what they've been taught, at which point the whole house of cards comes tumbling down and (especially if they are a native Utahan who was raised Mormon) are faced with their entire life being a lie, (as indeed a great portion of these people's lives revolves around or is done in reference to the church) at which point many choose to reject the religion and the lifestyle; or they can reject whatever evidence contradicts their beliefs such that they might go about their day without their world being flipped upside down, which leaves you with either stubborn belief or just plain doublethink.

I have no problem with Mormons as people, most of them are really as nice as everyone says that they are, which is why it is so sad when their church takes such wonderful individuals and conditions them into strict conformity and sometimes utter detachment from reality.

>I have no problem with Mormons as people, most of them are really as nice as everyone says that they are, which is why it is so sad when their church takes such wonderful individuals and conditions them into strict conformity and sometimes utter detachment from reality.

Sums up my opinion on the subject pretty well. Why couldn't they have had a saner religion?

What the fuck is happening in this thread? I come on Veeky Forums procrastinating on British History paper and I find ALMOST civil discussion about religion.

What is happening??? Don't make it uncivil or anything I just... I need to make sure this is actually happening and I just haven't finally lost it from Uni stress

WAKE UP NEO
IT'S A DREAM
WAKE UP, YOUR POTATOES ARE BURNING UP, I WON'T BE EATING CHARCOAL, NEO

Truly Veeky Forums is the best board there is.

Nigger cracka nigger nigger euphoric jews tippidy tip tip fedora triggered cuck cuck cuck britshit americunt retard /b/tard WE WUZ KANGZ AN SHIEET hurka durka mudslime your waifu a shit. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!

Feel better now?

...

We're talking about Mormonism, a religion that hasn't done much terrible things other than being really friendly and the occasional attempt at conversion
It's hard to be harsh and uncivil about such a religion

If we weren't socialized by our religion we'd be right cunts, or at least i know I would, religion helped me deal with my anger management issues.

Really stimulates the neurons

I'd point out if your willing to believe that God smote the Egyptians, flooded the world, and that his son came back to life after three days dead, I really don't see why thinking some Jews went to America is such a stretch. I don't think there was nobody there before them, I do believe they went, and after that they did pretty well for themselves, and that yes over generations of breedong with and influencing the natives their descendants eventually became the Indians. I mean that's just my head cannon, it's not a difinative church doctrine, but it makes sense to me at least.

I don't want to start shit, but Mountain Meadows was a dick move.
That said it was pretty minor all things considered

Don't worry your not gonna start nothing. We know we aren't perfect. Yeah, that was messed up, and wrong. So far as I know those involved later faced censure but I admit I'm not sure about that. I don't want to make excuses, but these were people who had been driven from their homes several times, and eventually forced onto an area considered at the time to be worthless. They were pretty wary of outsiders, and unfortunately this xenophobia lead to a completely unwarranted tradgedy for which we are entirely culpable.

That's fair enough, and it is pretty understandable all things considered.
Also ,if it's the worst thing you guys have done you're smelling of roses comparatively. Even us fedoras have shit like Stalin

>ts followers are all healthy, beautiful, extremely polite

I guess that's why the Anglos in North America tried to genocide them?

They tried to genecide for reasons that I actually admit make sense, to a degree. See the thing is we'd all flood in, more coming everyday. Sure we are nice, industrious, and don't cause trouble, but we are different. We are different, we immigrated from somewhere else, and suddenly there are enough of us in one area to have significant influence on elections. The reasons were politial more than anything, they were afraid of us dominating them politically and this fear was compounded by propaganda from individuals who thought we were heretical. I don't really blame them for not liking us, i do think it was messed up though. There were probably better ways they could have dealt with it.

I'm pretty sure "we're better organized politically" isn't a reason to genocide anyone, because if that were the case, Washington would've burnt more than once and the poor would be targeting the rich for culling regularily.

Alright lemme give you a theoretical scenario. Muslims are pouring into your state. There are so many coming they are beginning to outnumber you, you know even more are comming, and they are very different from you. Let's say these Muslims can all vote, and you think they all vote together. They vote for people who aren't part of your in-group. You feel like they are taking over and you'll be marginalized. Pastor Dan says they are evil devil worshippers and blasphemers. Tell me people wouldn't be freaking out.

>Meanwhile, in Europe

Thanks Merkel, truly the greatest allies for the Brexit Out campaign were those supporting the In campaign.

Oh Jesus, I think I know/knew the faggot on the left.

Veeky Forums has a remarkable ability to talk about controversial topics with a level head. Largely, I think, because RPGs teach us to consider multiple viewpoints. Learning to RP as people who are totally different than you is sort sugar pill version of empathy, and GMs have to do that in spades.

Most people, when they get asked "what if your entire ideology was wrong?" get defensive. Veeky Forums has a higher than normal population of people who legitimately reply with "yes, what if?" and then start imagining.

This doesn't mean we don't have anons with extreme views. I'm sure we have our ultraconservatives just as much as our bleeding heart liberals. But we tend not to get all assholy about it.

It almost feels like the few times we do get shitposting of that flavor, its a crossboard poster or a newfag that hasn't learned to chill out yet.

It can definitely be, fear of the unknown is a powerful tool. And when that unknwon is closing in fast on your house and home you can damn well say I'd be fearful enough to be roused into taking up arms and kicking them out.

Imagine the European Muslim scare, times 2. On the current scale there's already people doing hate crimes, and vica versa. Never you mind what happens when Muslims would be an actual threat to 'Western life."

They also stayed out of the civil war, and won the few battles against the northern and southern forces that went over to try and drag them into it.

A lot of people don't know about the time that the mormons fought the US government and won.

Yep. Stranger Danger is a powerful card to play. It only takes a couple of genuinely scared people (or hateful assholes) to whip up a community into a frenzy against the scary other people and their satanic ways.

Its harder these days. We have so much communication and information now that convincing people that another group is literally subhuman made more difficult by the fact that you can play video games with them on xbox and visit their instagram pages.

It still happens, though, because people scare easy. And because there are groups out there that profit from convincing scared people to be more scared. You can make a lot of reliable money on selling fear.

That's because Hollywood gets Armybux for making the US government look invincible. Michael Bay has saved a fortune with this.

They did the same shit to the Quakers, and I've never heard anyone with a poor word to say about them.

True. Though today's American military machine probably is as close to invincible as anything history has ever seen. It damn well better be, given how much we have paid for it.

We have planes and weapons right now that we can't even really put a face to, because there hasn't been an enemy in decades worth sending them against. By the time world war three happens, the last moments before the bombs drop will be the USA thinking to itself "Finally, a chance to use our laser battleships!"

The story with the Quakers is hilarious. They got persecuted for being so goddamn nice and forgiving and freedom loving that it made all of their neighbors look bad.

What? Do Mormons actually donate ten percent of their income to charity and shieeeet?

That's pretty...selfless.