Are there any more stories with Chris Orksen in it? If so please post them, but until then... Dis iz an ork thread boyz

I know I am going to look like a dumbass, but could someone explain this one to me

A chapter is a part of a book. The table of contents is part of a book. The Ork assumes he is asking what chapter like a book chapter (eg. chapter 1, chapter 2, etc.) and says he is from the table of contents instead.

So i take it sisters of battle may or may not fiddle around with young boyS?

I still feel ashamed for wishing that the original plot had continued.

I'd like ye t' haz a seat ovah der

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

Posting a better and non-Chris Orksen and not-pedo version of the story associating with that image of eldar and the boy.

GET DA HUMIE BOYZ! HES EZKAPING!

'Ere, boss? Why's dis umie got pointy ears?

Dat's one of dem Panzies, ya git.

I have the temptation of write Chris Orksen zogging the end of "Whips, Oil & Lofn" and krumpin' some Bolter Bitches. Then again, I don't know where to start, so posting if anyone is interested.

Just the though of that in the far future, Chris Orksen is looking out for kids, bring a smile to my face.

Again Macha? What maked this, the 83629369th time already?

Do it

The Emperor demands it.

>Ok, I'm posting this from my laptop sice writing in the phone is a bit tedious. So, 'ere we go.

The plan was flawless, everything was set up, the Xeno hybrid would come to the human-made Webway Gate (The Cannoness still couldn't believe those existed) the Callidus would pose as her wretched mother and thus, destroy any good memory of her the child still had in her mind, and then she would arrive, "save" the child of the "witch" and bring her once again to her chapel and satisfe her predatory urges... all for the Emperor, of course.

"M-mommy?" Ah, there it was, the Callidus was now telling at the young verminspeaker about how "the Eldar used the souls of humans to satisfe their Dark God, Slaanesh". It wasn't entirely true, but the Emperor blessed the minds too small to doubt.
"Your idiot father is already dead. Killed before the sisters ever arrived to save you." The Cannoness couldn't hold any longer, ignoring a small red light coming from the human Webgate. "One more day, and you would have be mine."

"DIS. IZ. A LIE!" A strong voice interrupted the tense moment. Everyone looked at the source. It was a Ork in a bussiness suit who came out of the Webway.

Lofn could not believe it, her mother was showing herself as the monster the sisters called her, and now a greenskin in a funny costume was contradicting the witch. And he was looking at her

"Yer daddy iz fine, he leg it when da burnagirlz and da beakie magpies were muckin' about who was da Boss"
"But-but...mommy?" Lofn couldn't know who was telling the truth, so the greenskin punched the "Farseer" in the face knocking her out. Clearly the Callidus did not reacted in time.
"If dere'z somefing poncy eldar hate more dan 'umies, iz da chaoz boyz. Even da spikey panzees would neva accept them as a boss:" Two gretching came out of the panzee-humie Gate carring a large well with green subtance and bathed the fallen "xeno" with it. "Even da squig 'new dis git was nah eldar."

Whatever the liquid was made off, it did wonders to reveal the lies of the Polymorphine. Lofn no longer did see the fallen woman as her mother, but as a woman in tight black suit similar as the one sometimes her father used when things went wrong. Then the greensking raised his choppa and decapitated the assassin.

"Dis 'umie iz not yer mommy." The Ork said with bile in his voice. "Yer mommy iz-"
"DIE XENOS SCUM!" The Cannoness jumped with flamer in hand, her face with hatred, not the righterous hatred one should have to the enemies of the Imperium, but the hatred of seeing all your plans being thrown out the airlock. It was all perfect, there was no way it would go wrong, yet an Ork, of all xenos, came out of a webway gate that wasn't supposed to be connected to any other place that wasn't Holy Terra, and ruined her convertion of the xenos-human child! She jumped with the conviction he would sent that pair screaming to the Warp.
"NOW, YA GITS!" Shouted the Ork, and two Nobs dressed with Arbites armor jumped at the Cannoness, resisted her flames and whacked her with their crude batons. While the predatory Sororitas boss was reduced, the greenskin grabbed a cellphone of his pockets and made a call.
"Oi! Rona' ya grot!...Ye, da girl iz wit' me...w'ere?...Roight." He hanged up the phone. "Oi! Lofn, roight?" The alluded nodded. "Yer boyz iz waitin' for ya."
"Y-you are not lying?" She was still doubting.
"Release da bug!" The ork screamed at the pair of grots who were looting the bitz of the dead humie. They gulped and went to the webgate, then one of them came back with a ripper biting his nose.
"Ripper-chan?!" She saw her long lost mascot, and the lil' nid once it hear her voice, jumped from biting the gretchin to lick the hybrid child.
"Oi, you lot" He went to the Nobs. "Ya goin' to send da girl to we'z came from."
"Wot?" They were confused for this a bit unorky orden.
"Den' ya call all da boyz 'coz we'z gonna krump all da burna'umie ova 'ere!"

"Aye aye, boss!" The arbites nobz became more motivated and called Lofn to follow them. She was smiling, for the first time in that hellish week that wasn't a effect of the lies of the predatory Sisters of Battle. Before passing the Webgate, she turned around and looked at her savior.
"Goodbye, mister ork."
"Bye, lil' wun." He said as the Nobz and Lofn finally crossed the Webgate. Then he turned around to see the beaten Canoness.

The boyz krumped her real good, but she wasnt dead yet. At this point, the boyz already knew when the boss wanted keep alive the gits he faced without asking.
"W-what y-you want, x-xeno?" She muttered at the ork who destroyed her moment of glory.
"All ya 'umies sayz ye want to be 'pur'" The greenskin said with pure hatred in his voice. "Yet yer lot iz nah betta dan da pinky chaos crazies." He spat at the sororita boss. "I'z me duty to brin' da WAAGH! at all da gitz who fink dey can predate all da llil' wuns in da galaxy and krump dem roight and proppa" Then from the Webway Gate came a large mob of orks chanting, singing, ready for battle against her convent.
"Who a-are you?" She said with her force leaving her body.
"MAH NAME IS CHRIS ORKSEN, YA TWIGGY. WOULD YA LIKES TA HAZ A SEAT?" And the Canonnes knew she was totally 'zogged'.

>GOOD (ORKY) END.
>It would be nice if you leave some review.

Well I like it.

It's the Veeky Forums head cannon/memery of a few sexually repressed (or possible overly free) neckbeards.

I have a question. I occasionally see storyteller threads dedicated to singular bits of large and ongoing write faggotry. If one had a large ongoing piece of write faggotry they were considering sharing with the board, should one start a story time thread for it? Or just go to the genreal story thread? I'm a bit new and I don't know what is considered appropriate behavior on the board.

But, that being said I feel like maybe Chris had a little to much dialogue. Some of his exposition turned me off.

What the FUCK is this? My high school sweetheart could write better and her writing was the most disgusting thing about her apart from her vore fetish.

If you iz lookin fo a writin gallery youz come to da wrong place, pansy

I love the Idea of Imperial Orks Period.

The idea of "The Emperah's Waaaaagh" rushing through a system clearing out all of the Chaos and Enemy Xenos and leaving a confused Imperal Citizenry behind with only a few broken buildings after each Celebratory parady/Riot

The Storythread general is for people who want to practice their writing and worldbuilding skills. So I recommend you to go there and post some stuff. Be warned, feedback might take a while to arrive.
Once you became good enough and feel your stuff is worth its own thread, then you can start to write you own. Beware, you probably will not be popular like say...Shoggy of the All Guardsmen Party.
Also, only use nametags and tribs when you write your stuff. Otherwise you will called an attention whore (and probably it will be the case)

>GOOD (ORKY) END
Best end. Thank you for this.

Never figured on getting as popular as shoggy, and I'm not really interested in being a namefag. Just wanna do my part so Veeky Forums can get shit done.

Well that was exactly the cringy garbage I expected it to be

Grimdark isn't worth it if you don't have a light out of the tunnel.

As the author of OP's pics and the adoption one. I know I fucked lore up on that., I can say it's alright, but honestly, it'd have worked a bit better by having the Orks play mindgames. Have him come up as the surprise punch rather than the outright hero.

Pic related: One op where Chris Orksen didn't need to foil anything.

Not bad.

An interesting and more developed take from the basic lewd concept of the chatlog prompt that started Chris Orksen. Hope someone's gathered the stories.

1d4chan.org/wiki/Chris_Orksen

>Depraved heretical planetary governor uses children for chaos rituals
>Gets krumped by Chris Orksen
I NEED IT

I agree. From a fluff standpoint it's definitely possible - Orks will literally fight for any reason you can give them - eventually some might hear about the Emperor and decide that he's a boss worth krumpin' gitz for.

>and the adoption one. I know I fucked lore up on that

What "adoption" one you talking about?

I'm guessing this one:

...

How is this a thing? I mean, I love it, but who looks at Dateline NBC, and then looks at Warhammer, and thinks 'yeah, these two things should go together'?

The OP of the content prolly saw the 'business ork' and had a chuckle, then connected some dots and wanted to go from there

It's really the expression and the comically tiny cellphone that makes the piece.

thank you for your contribution, but I think you might be more comfortable here:

bump

speaking of shoggy, has he done anything new recently?

He threw up 1/3 of a chapter two weeks ago. Some autiststs kept it bumped for an entire week before it fell off the board.

I believe he set the date for the full chapter as "after thanksgiving"

When he says; WOULD YA LIKE TA 'AVE A SEAT, I like to imagine he then immediately smashes a chair over their head.
He doesn't really get the whole, 'interrogation' thing. But he knows there's a chair involved, and the git needs krumpin'.. so he krumps them with a chair.

In Rise of Tau, the Tau learn to cultivate Ork spores and grow their own strain of subservient orkoids.

It would be easy to generate a fluff explanation for such a procedure going wrong or exceeding expectations.

>Exceeding expectations.
They convice their new orkoid allies the Gork and Mork are okay with the Greater Good and thus following it isn't unorky
>Things gone wrong.
We got the Tau version of Octavius.

>a tau interstellar mining vessel and its cryo-stasis picks up a strange signal from an apparently uninhabitable
>Ethereals have the onboard computer programmed to wake up the crew and tell them to go investigate the planet
>some of them go down
>they find some great wrecked unidentifiable alien ship
>investigate through a hole in the side of the ship
>find a vast chamber full of strange green egg-like sacs
>one member of the party looks too closely to one of them
>a squig leaps out, punches through the investigating tau's helmet and lodges in the tau's throat
>rest of the crew get him back to the main ship and examine him medically
>all attempts to remove the squig threaten to kill the crewmember with the squig in his mouth
>eventually the squig seems to die and fall out of his mouth
>crewmember seems fine afterward
>everyone's having a celebratory dinner
>suddenly a gretchin bursts out of the crewmember's stomach, quickly runs away into the ship's vent system

Ridley Scott's ORK

>a tau interstellar mining vessel
well now I'm thinking about a Red Dwarf parody.

>it's cold outside
>no more ethereals
>greater good
>more or less
>water caste girls
>nibbling on my toes
>fun fun fun
>in the sun sun sun

I honestly like this one and find it very heartwarming, goes to show: #notallxenosarethatbad

Bump?

better yet, this seems like the perfect song for an Imperial Navigator

>It's void outside
>No more reality
>I'm all alone
>More or less
>Cruising free
>through the unreal sea
>fun, fun, fun
>where's the sun, sun, sun?

>I want to lie
>shipwrecked and comatose
>Drinking fresh
>mango juice
>Daemon-kind
>nibbling at my mind
>fun, fun, fun
>where's the sun, sun, sun?

mango juice is always important.

>for an entire week
lightweights

...

Alternatively, it's a reference to the movie "It", which is a two part four hour long film they mostly aired on tv in the states. I only recently saw it and only now got the reference.

Its both

kek

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