Kobold purists BTFO

Need no Alchemy, Arcane magic better, Drinking make traps worse, maybe if Drink less Goblins suck less!

>feathers
>not gorganposis faced kobolds that are both lizard and dog

ARCANE MAGIC hah you will summon DEMONS fool! For not drinking, your people WEAK, they would throw up haha maybe they will throw up the ROTTEN BONES they eat haha

We have guns, argument invalid

Hai guys what's happening in this thread?

REMOVE!

Ha you have PUNY GUNS

Kobolds are nothing but dragon onaholes!

But user, they have at least 2 different uses.
Something something repressed gag reflex.jpg

I always just consider kobolds to be like those prehistoric lizard-like mammal ancestors. scaley skin but also fur and warm blooded.

So, anons, which bit of WoTC kobold lore is creepier? The whole "being eaten by a dragon is an honor" thing from 4e's Dungeon Survival Guide? Or the "they can change genders" thing from 5e's Volo's Guide to Monsters?

Actually... has anyone ever had their kobolds have gender oddities - hermaphroditic, gender shifting, whatever - in their games?

Anons? I really want to make a kobold Life Cleric in 5e, but I can't think of any deities a kobold could believably worship to justify that class.

Anyone got any suggestions? Homebrew (draconic?) deity, kobold aspect to Tiamat, a "dark mother" deity like Lamashtu or Shub-Niggurath?

Guoh's Kobolds are supreme.

What about Tucker's kobolds?

Kobolds should be a goblin subrace

Do you have an example? I'm unfamiliar with this Tucker.

Really they could all be sub-races of fae.
Just have your fantasy world have only three types of creatures, humans, fae, and ghosts

1d4chan.org/wiki/Tucker's_Kobolds

All dragonkin believe their creator god was hermaphroditic and created them in it's image. They believe the division of gender, along with the rest of variety they display, was a curse placed on them by other gods envious of their perfection. They generally pursue shapeshifting magic in an attempt to return themselves to that perfection.

So...what type of creature is a bear?

>fae
never trust the fae
never trust a bear

These are fantastic. I was speaking in terms of visual design.

I know, I was mostly teasing you, assumed you were in on the fun of these guys.

DIRTY KOBOLD will never be MIGHTY GOBLIN

both are just slap-fighting over sempai's attention.
It's a fruitless struggle though, since they'll never compete with gelatinous cube

Tuckers Kobolds, the best and most awesome story of a group of players who forgot they were in a turn-based game and decided that blind terror is the best plan.

>kobold purist
What do you mean by that? Do you mean those that see kobolds as tiny lizard-guys? Because that's not a purist. A kobold purist would be someone who sees a kobold as it's written in that wikipedia link. So why would they be BTFO?

Don't think too hard about it. OP is a faggot, post kobolds.

>wikipedia
Now that intelligent men are in charge of the country, can we pass a law about how the millenials and antipatriots keep making up things and acting like they're real? Global warming, microaggressions, transgenderism, none of its real.

CUBE hah i am LAUGHING cube is ingredient for ALCHEMY not threat haha YOU ARE JOKE CUBE, WHY NOT BE ROUND HAHA

you mean like

I think OP was talking about the constant bitching between lizard kobolds and Dogbolds

OP's a massive faggot and best ignored. He probably prefers that stupid anime girl "kobold."

ALL KOBOLD ARE MASSIVE FAGGOT

HAVE BOTH MAN AND LADY PARTS HAHA

>WHY NOT BE ROUND

Then there'd be dirt in all the corners of the place.

>Not being versatile
whut r u gey?

why would cube care cube is DIRTY PEOPLE LIKE DIRTY KOBOLD

They may be faggots, but at least they're not lazy like squishy goblin things.
Both make good food, though

>those teeth
>that tail
Obvious kobold/goblin half breed detected

lazy HAHA dirty kobold rely on TRAPS FOR WORK no hunting no fishing can't work! name a thing dirty kobold invented OH WAIT YOU CANT kobold never invent anything, sit around all day playing with man and lady parts haha

WRONG no reason kobold women are UGLY, can't even DRINKING. no one wants BAD LIZARD DICK LADIES if they get GORGEOUS GOBLIN WOMEN

>needing to be some hourglass bimbo
Kobolds not need stupid bimbo curves, have refined beauty in scales and form

not even BOOBS
kobold 'girl' is GROSS, would rather fuck CUBE haha

>Doesn't know kobolds can have tits
is a kobold for every taste!

she still has UGLY LIZARD FACE and BROKEN LEGS haha come to goblin dungeon we will bend legs back for you haha

Dogbolds are best... but this is my favourite half way between the two design

when will KOBOLD decide if it is UGLY LIZARD or DIRTY FLEA-DOG haha why choose? both will not have CLASSY like NOBLE GOBLINS

I like the idea of kobolds being as diverse as dragons themselves running from dog, to Raptor to reptomammal Pangaloon etc.

>tfw you recognize the artist and feel ashamed for it

nothing noble about monoform Goblins, kobolds have shape for all occasions!

UGLY shape for UGLY occasion haha so DIFFERENT because kobold cannot stop putting MAN PARTS IN LIZARDS haha maybe it is they cannot tell apart from LADY kobold haha

can the goblin shit poster actually leave?

GOBLIN will never leave, goblin come to your FORTRESS, goblin come to your DUNGEON, goblin come to your CAVE AND DIRT HOLE until KOBOLD REMOVE

the joke isn't funny anymore

no joke, only remove

Why are you ashamed? Could be worse.

>could be worse
Could be better.

...

Okay, so it is ROCK OFF now!

WE Have Full band!

d-dirty kobold should not make feelings like this...

noble goblin will DRUM SOLO UNTIL REMOVE!

TRAITOR to goblin cause, no inviting to ROCK OFF for you now

GOOD! Goblins bring Vocals too!

so much SING you wish you had EARS

Look at all kobold prizes and weep!

such PUNY prizes worthy of dirty kobold! GOBLINS get prizes, GOBLINS know how to USE prizes haha!

[OOC thats actually pretty damn cool]
Kobold know how use prizes tooo!

Thanks. DESU I fucking loved the kobard.

why TAKE prizes when you can MAKE PRIZES? haha OH WAIT kobold live in mud and dirt, cannot SMART enough to make prizes haha!

Goblin so scared and weak to TAKE prizes they have to make own cruddy prizes.
Kobold bet Goblin not even have smarts to space

am slightly hampered by lack of good kobold art to find
>IM
>FUCKING
>PLYING

For real I'm not actually curious about the result of some goofy Goblio and Kobliette pairing and what such an offspring would look like

we space ALL the time, take prizes make prizes WE CAN BOTH, have MANY MORE PRIZES and BEAUTIFUL women than dirty kobold!

MOST FAMOUS GOBLIN OF ALL SPACE, I GIVE DARES TO NAME ONE FAMOUS SPACE KOBOLD

...

What good is famous goblin if dead goblin?
None that is what!

You never hearing of famous Kobold because Kobold is secret space kobolds. Never see, never hear, until to late and kobolds strike

dead is HERO, dead is HISTORY BOOK

coward kobold only in secret space because cannot into COURAGE

Pictured: it is COURAGE

...

>that snoot booping claw

looks PUNY

we can sell DELICIOUS TREATS better than kobold, what do you make cookies from hah I bet MUD AND DIRT!

Courage just pretty word for to stupid to alive.
Goblin hero to stupid to not die. Kobold smart to knowing that sneaking and planning ambush can kill stupid creatures and keep kobold alive. Traps let stupid creatures kill themselves because they are to stupid to see traps

this is why kobold never wins war. all the time HIDE and never the time FIGHT. also your babies are eggs haha goblin babies BITE A KOBOLD IN THE LIZARD FACE. we come to your dirtcave and make omelette while you hide haha

Kobold is favorite of FUKKEN DRAGONS! What do Goblins have? HobGoblins? Orcs? the occasional Nilbog posession?!

FAVORITE? OH HAHA YOU ARE MAKING THE DAY OF MINE!

whycome do you think they are have you around? dragons have NO RESPECT for dirt kobold, keep them in lairs to protect DRAGON PRIZES. kobold TOO PUNY to take prizes and dragon knows, so they give TINY PRIZES and PATS ON HEAD to good little STUPID KOBOLD

dragons made you from DRAGONS THEY HATE. breed them into PUNY dragon, not fire breathing, not wing flapping. kobold are SLAVES and too STUPID to see, think they are FAVORITE haha stupid kobold, yes enjoy your LITTLE PRIZES, get them from BEGGING haha

Kobold no need to go and fight. Fight comes to Kobold where Kobold wants fight. Stupid goblins come into warrens and find ambush. To stupid to find traps. Goblin never make it to eggs because clever traps and leave run scared

GOBLIN LIES! GOBLIN KNOW NOTHING! GOBLIN FAIL TO SEE TRUTH! GOBLIN WILL BE NOTHING FOR ALL TIME!

And Kobold make better pirates too!

HAHA we send more goblins, kobold take so long to have child, many months eating DIRT AND ROCKS to make egg babies. many goblins come, not afraid of death! we EXPLODE warrens with powderfire, make rocks fall on KOBOLDS who hide in sneaking holes haha then go back to your DRAGON and beg for more traps because too STUPID to make prizes haha

Alright stop that, this thread has gotten entirely too silly!

FALSE LIES from LIAR KOBOLD, goblins are BEST PIRATES, many sailings, get all the boats, make BIG CANNONS to STEAL PRIZES. kobold throw rocks at boats because cannot LEARN POWDERFIRE haha think they are CROCODILES but no breathing when water haha you will DROWN and boats ON FIRE from LOUD GOBLIN CANNONS