I have no image and I must post

I have no image and I must post

Alright, Veeky Forums... tell me about the things you learned to never do in your games.

But not just that, the things you learned the hard way never to do.

Never tell novice players that they have agency over the overall plot, unless you're willing to brave the shitstorm.

Never have more NPCs than PCS participate in combat at any one time

Don't be a dick

Have the total number of non-PC combatants never exceed 3 if you're not using a board. If you're using a board never exceed a dozen.

Always tell Players that they're not the only heroes.

>Never accept anyone in your games that does not follow your advice on chargen.
>Never accept anyone that fucks up chargen five times even when you are overseeing them.
>Never keep in your game anyone that feels the need to interupt the game to say something unrelated every 15 minutes.
>Never revert a decision because a player bitched and moaned and wouldn't stop.
>Never allow a player to rules-lawyer for more than 20 seconds.

And I had to learn the hard way
>Never refrain from having stupid actions lead to their proper consequences.
>Never accept a character with an unpronouncable name bigger than ten syllables.

Never allow players to double-question you.

Selfish edgelord chaotic neutral character. Never again.

Always allow some kind of save against effects even if it requires a nat20 and is only nullified for that turn.

If someone has thrown a fit during a game once they'll do it again regardless of what they tell you.

Also don't add beastfolk to your setting because players will always try to fuck them or just be weird about them. Unless that's what you want.

Have you tried not playing with furries?

Are you me?

Paint the torso and arms/gun of a marine holding his gun with both hands BEFORE you fully assemble him. Absolutely fuck getting you brush in all those little crannies.

>Never accept a character with an unpronouncable name bigger than ten syllables.
Not a Dragonlance fan, huh

Never don't make a perception test if the GM suggests taking one.
It may result in stumbling into an ork stikk bomb and retiring a character idea you've had for ages after three sessions.

>Never Mind Control one of the PCs to turn them against the rest of the party.
>When the rest of the PCs tie up the MC'd PC, don't let them shove dirty Half-Orcish panties into the tied-up PC's mouth.
>Always assume that players will take what is done to their PC's in-game personally, even though it's "just a game."

Nearly lost one of my best players that way. Fortunately I got the other players to apologize before the next session.

And yes, my players are men-children.

I learned that it's sometime better to just play your power level down if there's a discrepancy in groups.

Don't get sentimentally attached to things that will try to harm the PCs.

Never use an accent.

This. Also if you're technical proficiency with the system is greater than the DM, you play stupid. Or leave.

1. Even if you'd rather be a player than the GM, and even if there aren't enough players to feel like a group, do not make a GMPC

2. If you disobey rule 1, Even if it's uncertain if your group will never have another session again, do not GM yourself through the campaign while you're bored or crave a chance to play - even if you are using randomisation tables. This goes double if you use the players characters as your personal NPC teammates.

3. If you disobey rule 2, Do not insert cute waifu characters into the game.

4. If you have disobeyed all of the above, at the very least, keep track of where you left off and what the stats and XP were of all the characters prior to the players having left for the school year, so that you can cover your tracks.

Needless to say, my first exposure to gaming being as a gm lead to some awkward situations.

-Don't assume players want to make their own characters. Especially if they're not invested in your story, they might just want to use some premades.

-Never let players use another players' character if they can't show up for a session

-Don't play movies in the background

-Don't listen to music in the background

-Don't let players bring phones or hacked handheld games to the table.

-Don't plan anything more than you absolutely need to - it just hurts more when the players disband or go off in a new direction

-If there's anything that doesn't explicitly say in the rulebook how it's used, make sure the GM and Player have an understanding of what an ability or trait means before play begins.

-Paint your minis. Bare plastic/pewter is the lazy mans' way out.

-If someone doesn't sound immediately interested in playing, never under any circumstances bend over backwards to accommodate them.

No out of setting PCs. for example a dragontaur mongrelman in a crime-on-the-bay to spelljammer adventure.

No mind altering substance use unless everyone is. Alcohol included. We're not your babysitters.

Hard way: kids are ok in the room. Furries are usually worse.

30 seconds, and then you get to quote Pirates of the Caribbean.

The one I learned the hard way eh?

Don't Backseat GM. I've made so many damn mistakes when I was learning to GM, and now that I am in many ways a Forever GM, it's all too hard for me to keep the GM hat off, especially when I feel like I can help someone from making a mistake I've made.

It's better to let them make the mistakes, and then speak about what happened after the game with the GM. If the GM is worth their salt, they'll listen.

1) Never kill a character outside of combat and/or with little evidence his or her course of action may result to death, no matter how much sense it would make.

2) Never plan on PCs being captured or routed. IF it happens, it's a gift from the gods, accept graciously.

3) Your plot is NEVER as important as you think. Shape it to fit the game, not the other way around.

4) Always state aloud the players' objective in case it might sound too "Magic Realmy".

1), 2) and 3), I wanted an NPC (assassin/spy disguised as bard) to hire the PCs as an armed escort, then "get captured". Level 1 PCs actually managed to win that CR 5 encounter, and just wouldn't let their goddamn guard down. Had to assassinate one on his guard duty. 3 hard lessons learned at once.

4) Came from very neat fluff. Yuan-Ti God is an evil god of nature. Cult decide to pray to god of undeath instead, and blessed with ghoulification. Yuan-ti emissary wants ex-members cured and kill, with seeds that, when swallowed, grow, drain undeath then suffocate and kill the recipient.

> So you want us to gang them up, force them on the ground, and force our seed (french word also an innuendo for cock") down their throats?

Still being mocked for both, once in a while.