Space Marines

Space Wolves drink a lot. Probably go hunting too.

Salamanders spend a lot of time fixing and maintaining their armor.

Those are the two chapters I know best. Not sure about others.

more

Oh, here's a question. What about fleet-based chapters like the Lamenters? I imagine they have to stop planetside every now and then to refuel and resupply. That must require dealing with the general populace to some extent, how do you imagine that goes? Do they just get their shit and get off? Do they give the marines some sort of leave while they're on the planet to go do whatever? What would a marine do during that time if they actually did get leave?

>Do neophytes remember their old families and friends after they become fully-fledged space marines?
>Typically yes.
Actually, no they don't. Loki talks about this in a short story. Most marines lose 99% of their pre-marine memory due to psycho-indoctrination methods. Loki's wasn't as effective because he was unusually recruited when he was older.

Very little leave is given. Usually they have ancient pacts with a set of worlds that they visit on a rotating basis. The actual dealings are primarily done through chapter serf intermediaries, or a chaplain.

Not Loki, Lukas.

Alright.

>++Journal Entry #47,682++
>Our company declared an emergency meeting to discuss morale within the Imperial Guard regiment. It appears that in the long wait between battles, the guardsmen have become more worried about us than the enemy
>A decision was made to repair relations for the sake of a coherent fighting force.
>Our brother-captain declared his plan to increase morale, based on information he gathered concerning how morale is handled within the Imperial Guard.
>It seems the guardsmen have a unique rank known as a Commisar, whose duty is to inspire the guardsmen and keep morale high.
>Our captain thus requisitioned a red-and-black cap like the ones the commissars wear as part of their uniform.
>The next day our captain mingled among the guardsmen with his cap on top of his power armor's helmet. Having read and memorized a dataslate of a typical commissar's handbook the night before, he was able to fulfill the temporary role without issue.
>The captain ordered men that were idly speaking amongst themselves to reinforce the fortifications. The handbook apparently states to be as loud and commanding as possible, so the captain turned his helmet's vox-projector up as far as it would go.
>The guardsmen immediately ran to obey his commands. The captain soon rounded up more to assist in reinforcing the fortifications.
>One guardsman stopped working to voice a complaint, a deed which the book described as heresy. The captain immediately shot the man trough his cranium with a bolt-pistol, just as the commissar's are issued.
>With the heretic dead, the guardsmen were inspired to work at twice the normal pace. A good sign.
>By nightfall the job was complete, and we returned to our barracks on the ships.
>Reports state that somehow morale has gone down, though no one is certain how this can be.
>Our squad has been assigned to a new research role, to survey the guardsmen and find new ways of integrating ourselves with them.

Must make it awkward for Salamanders.

this did not go the way I was expecting.

Yesss, that's amazing. The chapter's newly founded HR "Human Research" division

>++Journal Entry #47,682++
>Our surveillance missions have revealed that the guardsmen like to go to a local establishment called a "bar". Apparently, normal humans go there to drink alchohol, since their lack of a Preomnar implant allows them to become intoxicated. We recognize it from the Space Wolves and their traditions, although the drink used in this "bar" are far less potent.
>We reported our findings to our brother-captain, who decided that the best way to build trust in the guardmen would be join them in their off-duty activities.
>Leaving our power armor behind, we requisitioned clothes that would fit us and left for the bar shortly after the men off duty.
>Our arrival caught the guardsmens attention, along with the local patrons. We predict this was because of our larger stature and bulkier musculatory systems.
>Our brothers filed into the establishment and ordered drinks. The gene-seed prevented intoxication, but we felt it would be a token sign of fraternity with our allies.
>The guardsmen seemed wary of us at first, but began to settle down eventually. The operation appeared to be working.
>Finally, one of the guardsmen who was already intoxicated began speaking to a local woman not from the guard. We paid no mind to this until the woman struck his cheek.
>Now was our time to prove our loyalty

(1/2)

>Drawing our weapons, we fired upon the heretic who would attack the Emperor's soldiers and the civilians began to run. Some of them began to draw their weapons
>By the Emperor, it was an ambush. The heretics must have been plotting to ambush the guardsmen while they were inebriated and unarmed.
>Acting quickly, we made a defensive circle and herded the guardsmen behind us, where they would be safe. The heretics were armed with laser weaponry, but even without our armor we were more than a match for the traitorous filth.
>When the last heretic lied dead, we ordered the guardsmen to follow us and made a tactical retreat back to the base
>The guardsmen have been actively avoiding us since. We believe that our show of prowess has made them fearful of us; After all, as the Emperor's chosen we are fear incarnate.
>Further research will be conducted on how to reassure the guardsmen. In the meantime, our brother-captain has contacted a nearby inquisitor and informed him of the potential heresy on this planet.

I think this'll be the last post I'll make for the night. I might post more sometime tomorrow if the thread's still alive and people want more.

>Do space marines still have individual personalities

More or less, it may not be as pronounced but each marine is a distinct individual

>Do they have hobbies?

As a general rule, no. A couple chapters do prize more then the ability to wage war, but outside of say, ultrasmurfs/blood angels and space yiffs I don't believe it's common

>How do they interact with normal humans when they actually encounter them?

Down to the marine/chapter. Some chapters still understand they protect humanity and exist for them, others see the common man as an annoyance infesting the emperor's realm. This also goes for individuals, some are aware of their effect on mortal men and consider themselves protectors- others have no comprehension of the human scale, they don't understand what it's like to weak, afraid and so much less. So they are more easily angered. Or just don't give a fuck, loyal to the chapter and duty before humanity.

>Do neophytes remember their old families and friends after they become fully-fledged space marines?

Generally not, that life is over.

>How do they interact with the other military factions, like the Imperial Guard or the Sisters of Battle?

As others have said, it depends on the chapter. Some will offer a little aid to the IG, others -might- mention they're coming through or casually browbeat everyone into compliance. SoB is more dependent on chapter faith, emperor worshipping chapters are more prone to a degree of reverance

>Do they ever have holidays, where they just settled down for a bit and relax a little before going back to their strict training regimes?

No. There's no space marine Christmas, no weekends, vacation time. the closest you will get is maybe a few weeks/months laid up if you're injured badly enough. Aside from the "vikings, but in space yiff" it just doesn't happen.

They're not exactly human so a lot of the things we do or need just dont exist for them

>Now was our time to prove our loyalty
Kek.

The best Marine characters was the cast of Dawn of War 2. Each did a job, had an outlook on life, a personality, interactions... even griping about their bosses or dumb shit the Chapter's done. And getting on each other's nerves at time too, or making marine-themed jokes referencing the Codex.

Really well written for what it was.

Salamanders are pretty atypical anyways, they might remember their old tribe/city.

I want more of this.
Much more.

>Now was our time to prove our loyalty

Everyone except for Cyrus. I especially started dislaking him after : "Yes, we won now, save this victory happiness for later, when we will lose. Because we are space marines, we will 100% die at some point". What a party pooper.

Got a question relating to space marines.

Some marines get recruited from deathworlds and are badass warriors even before they become Astartes.

So wouldn't, say, Space Wolves be better at fighting than Ultramarines, who come from a comfortable civilized set of worlds? Or White Scars, who don't have any major issues on their planet other than warring tribes?

It is as relevant as comparing two co-workers: one had shitty marks during school, other had very good ones. Its not very relevant though, since so much time has passed and tasks that they are doing right now could be very different from those that they had to do at school.

...

Please sir could I have some more?

I'm another user, so be warned - story quality might be different.

>++Journal Entry #47,682.b++
>Current guardsmen morale status : unacceptable.
>Luckily next morning our position is beeing reinforced by a fresh catachan squad.
>Their veterans seem to get in good touch with the rest of men and try to cheer them up, but it does not help that much.
>Catachan veterans don't seem to trust us after they talked about us with guardsmen.
>Despite our best efforts during past week catachans are still avoiding us.
>They seem to have smuggled some alcohol with themselves: we agreed not confiscate it not to push distrust even further.
>We are finally beeing attacked by the first wave of orks.
>They are nothing but a scouting force, which quickly gets overhelmed.
>Right after the skirmish catachan sergeant loudly announces "The only thing that makes me more happy than a cup of amasek is ork's guts spilled across the floor!"
>Some of the catachan and guardsmen smile and laugh.
>After the smoke settles down we demand guardsmen to collect all ork corpses and leave them next to our tent.
>Emperor be praised: at long last we found a solution to the mistrust problem.

White Scars write poetry, if I remember rightly part of their initiation is for them to write one about their first battle.

According to the BL book Fall of Damnos, the Ultramarines debate in their senate about stuff for part of it.

The Blood Angels make the there armour look fabulous and peruse arts.

I'm not sure about the Iron Hands, but it's probably dull.

>This evening veteran squad was having a feast backed up by their toxic drinks. They barely make it to their tent and fall asleep.
>At night we brought ork corpses next to the catachan's tent.
>There are a whole lot of dead orks and a long night of work ahead of us.
>Carefully we cut corpses open and pull out their veiscera.
>It is not the most dignified job for astartes, but for the sake of improving mortals' fighting effectiveness we will do it.
>Without a sound we cover the entire floor inside catachan's tent with ork guts and smear tent's walls with blood. Also we put ork heads on their beds as tropheys.
>They are still sleeping, intoxicated by their amasec supplies.
>Absolutely intolerable: this poisonous drink, while rising their morale, greatly hampers their combat effectiveness.
>Since we provided Catachans with the source of greater happiness, they do need their amasec anymore.
>We are at their kitchen now.
>Their amasec chest is booby trapped against thieves, but it is a child's play for Brother Veino.
>We pour out all the amasec all over the tent and leave empty bottles in the corner.
>In the early morning catachan's screams wake up the entire camp.

Salamanders and Blood Angels are known for their artistic skills, they improve the way their weapons looks as a hobby.
The Blood Angels are also know as artists, maybe they paint and sculpt stuff in their free time.
The Raven Guard has many poets if i remember correctly.
The spacewolfs are known do drink spacealcohol, so i guess they party hard as a hobby

Imperial Fists practice scrimshaw between battles, usually using the bones of dead IF, both to practice attention to detail/discipline and to honor the fallen.

The fact that the OG outer space operations chapter does nautical art is pretty neat since it helps remind people that the IF have more to them than "all walls, all the time".

Every time I learn something about the IF culture I like them a little more.

Imperial Fists are best chapter

I remember reading some old fluff from ages ago and the majority of the day is spent training, in prayer and weapon maintenance and armour repair. They do not need to sleep as they can have one half of the brain sleep while the other half is awake and then alternate.

The old fluff said they have 1 hr spare in a 24hr period. That could be used for anything such as, sparring, writing, carving, rest, honing an art, etc. Some chapters are given leave to go and spend time planetside, namely salamanders and space wolves. They may socialise with their relatives though they may be the great great great uncle or somesuch due to the way warp travel works.

Funniest shit I've read on Veeky Forums in a while.
More, please.

>I always like thinking about what Space Marines do when they aren't out fighting the enemies of man. Helps kinda flesh them out a little, which is especially handy for games like Deathwatch where you want your character to be more than just a murder-machine.

have you considered black crusade/chaos? CSM pretty much do whatever they want when they want, all the time.

Easier to "flesh them out" without fluff conflict concerns since they are significantly less 'regimented'

>Imperial Fists are a dead chapter
fixed

Alright, I'm back now. I'll type some more up in a sec when I have time.

>++Journal Entry #47,683++
>In our ongoing surveillance of the local Guardsmen, we have discovered a book the Guardsmen all carry for (as the Commissar explained) morale purposes. The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer.
>A dataslate of this primer was requisitioned for our research.
>Upon investigation, the primer contains various litanies and passages intended to boost the reader's morale. However, the primer also contains erroneous information on the various enemies of the Imperium. These passages make wildly illogical claims, such as one passage that claims orks are small, weak, and can be frightened off with loud noises.
>Our squad had to reconfirmed with the regiment's Commissar that we received the correct primer. I have never in my years seen so much false data in one place. The primer likely functions as a propaganda tool rather than a true field manual.
>However, it gave us an idea.
>After discussing it with our brothers, it was decided that we would educate the Guardsmen on proper Combat tactics against Orks. This would serve the double purpose of educating their inexperienced soldiers and show them that we are their allies and wish to assist them.
>We approached the Guardsmen during their designated mealtime, since that was when the majority gathered in one place.
>Turning the vox-projectors in our helmets up so they all could hear us, we proceeded to inform them that their primer has erroneous information concerning the Orks, and that we were here to teach them how to really combat Orks.

>First we explained that Orks are not as small as the primer states. Only gretchin are small, the rest range in size from human-sized to roughly three times the size of a space marine.
>Loud noises do not scare Orks, only Gretchin. It will attract the larger Orks, who will believe a battle is underfoot.
>Their machines, while seemingly forged from scrap, are indeed functional despite what the primer says.
>Their aim is below average, but they make up for this by firing fully-automatic weapons en masse, to create a wall of bullets and shrapnel.
>They are significantly stronger in melee combat, where they can easily overpower most adult humans.
>They reproduce via fungal spores, which are spread upon death. Therefore laser, flame, melta, and plasma weapons are preferable weapons as they will kill the Orks and kill the spores. Furthermore, we taught them to identify the blackish-green spores which Orks grow from.
>With the basics explained, we proceeded to show them how to combat an Ork.
>Orks are berserkers, and will shrug off non-fatal wounds. Aim for their vitals if possible.
>Do not simply stab an ork unless you manage to pierce it's heart. Stab it in the gut, then rend upwards to disembowel the foul xeno.
>Kill the larger ones first. Those are their leaders. Killing a warboss may even cause the Orks to turn against each other.
>If you are caught in melee combat without a knife or other weapon, attempt to blind it by shoving your thumb into its eyes. Do not stop until it oozes green fluids, that is an Ork's blood.
>In desperate circumstances, an Ork's brain can be consumed for sustenance, even by normal humans. Brother Calcedus gave a very in-depth explanation of how one can remove an Ork's cranium and cook the brain inside, using the skull as a cooking vessel if better tools are not available. He also informed them which parts of an Ork's digestive tract are safe for consumption, after squeezing out remnant feces and boiling it to sterilize the innards.

>The Guardsmen seemed intrigued by our lecture, as they all stopped eating. A few began to vomit after Brother Calcedus described the edible parts of an Ork, we later filed a report that the guardsmen's rations may be tainted
>The next day, we received an irate report from the regiment Commissar that our lecture somehow reduced morale within the regiment. At first I questioned his competence, as we had done nothing wrong. However, we have since heard whispers that many of the guardsmen are now fearful of the impending Ork attack. The Commissar has been forced to execute more of these cowards than usual as a result, in an attempt to preserve morale.
>Our research continues, now with more fervor than ever.
>However, we have been politely asked by regimental command not to engage the Guardsmen during designated mealtimes anymore. We are not yet sure why this request was made.

do space marines still wear earrings that show their rank?

You do good work. Holy hell.

Do you mind if I save these texts?

Sure, go ahead.

ho ho ho

>++Journal Entry #47,684++
>Still no sign of the Orks. We have sent scouts out to search for them, we expect a report after they find them. It has been too quiet for too long, they must be plotting something.
>In other news, a contingent of Sororitas have arrived on the planet by order of the Inquisition. It seems they have come to investigate the planet in response to our report after the bar ambush.
>The Guardsmen appeared wary of the Sisters at first, but have recently become more accepting of the Sororitas. Our squad moved in to investigate the reason for this.
>Our surveillance revealed that the sister's Hospitallers have been treating the Guardsmen's ills, from physical injuries sustained in accidents to illnesses gained while waiting for the Ork attack.
>Upon reporting to our Brother-Captain, it was agreed that we should offer our aid as well, to gain their trust.
>Our Apothecary was accepting of the idea, although he was not as familiar with mundane human biology. To familiarize himself, we received permission from the regimental command to take the bodies of executed guardsmen for an autopsy.
>When our Apothecary was satisfied he understood the mundane human biology enough to operate, we took action.
>That day, a Guardsman had suffered a near-fatal injury during a live grenade drill, and was in need of surgery
>We were quick to act, carrying the injured Guardsman to a tent and laying him on a table for the apothecary to operate.

>The apothecary powered up the surgical laser on his narthecium, and began to cut a hole in the guardsman's chest to extract the shrapnel embedded there. Suddenly the Guardsman began to scream.
>We had forgotten that Guardsmen are not as resistant to pain. We also forgot that they had no implants to stop bleeding.
>With the hole already made, I found something for the Guardsman to bite down on while the Apothecary worked.
>The Guardsman's muffled screams continued for a while, but eventually grew silent.
>When the last shard of shrapnel was removed, the Apothecary began to place skin grafts over the wound when he noticed the Guardsman was dead.
>Cause of death unknown: Not enough blood was lost for that to have been the cause.
>Out of sheer habit, the Apothecary began to extract the Guardsman's Gene Seed, only to realize there was no Gene Seed after he had already extracted the Guardsman's kidneys.
>At that moment, another Guardsman entered the tent to investigate the screaming. We were thus seen in a rather compromising situation with a dead Guardsman on the table and his kidneys extracted by our Apothecary.
>The Guardsman ran away in terror, at which point I tried to run after him to clarify what really happened. However, the Apothecary caught me before I could run, stating it would only be worse if I started chasing him.

>The next morning, rumors began to circulate that our company likes to devour human innards, much like how we instructed them about the edible parts of an Ork.
>Our squad was quick to clarify, however, that we would never eat humans. Except for the brain, if we found ourselves in an emergency where we needed a dead Guardsman's knowledge, since our implants allow us to do so.
>This explanation appears to have been unsatisfactory for the Guardsmen, who now actively move to avoid us.
>Our relations with the new Sororitas regiment have likewise taken a negative impact, due to this misunderstanding between the company and our mundane allies.
>Our squad's focus has been expanded to include the Sororitas as well, in response to this incident.

Oh my god these are hilarious please keep writing them.

>Our squad was quick to clarify, however, that we would never eat humans. Except for the brain
lol

We all know what that lead to

0400 Morning Prayer
Day is begun with morning prayer and contemplation within the Company Chapel, led by the Company Chaplain. The Company standard and relics are displayed and the brethren repeat their oaths of loyalty to the Chapter and the Emperor. At this juncture the Captain may choose to address the brethren, issue orders, make any appropriate announcements (such as awards and promotions) and dispense summary punishments as deemed necessary.

0500 Morning Firing Rites
After prayer is complete the brethren undertake the first firing rites of the day. A variety of weaponry is used but the emphasis is placed on practice with the Space Marine's personal weaponry. Awards are made for consistently good marksmanship and punishments are inflicted for poor weapon discipline and accuracy. The firing rites may be undertaken in the ranges located in the armoury or outside the fortress.

0700 Battle Practice
The first battle practice of the day is generally geared towards hand-to-hand combat and close quarter fighting. The exact procedures followed vary immensely but often include numerous live-firing exercises and simulated battle conditions in a number of lethal or non-lethal environments. For this reason (and for reasons of defence) most of the Space Marine fortress monasteries are often situated in extremely inhospitable areas be they arctic, volcanic, corrosive, swamp, carnivorous jungle or a combination thereof.

1200 Midday Prayer
The brethren are gathered once more to give praise to the Emperor and their Primarch. During extended battle practice such prayer may be undertaken in the field, potentially while live-firing exercises continue. At this time any brethren severely injured in the morning battle practice are transported to the Apothacarion.

1300 Midday Meal
The Space Marines partake of their first sustenance of the day at this juncture. Frequently this will be a substance inedible to ordinary humans or a local lifeform which is hunted and slain during the morning battle practice.

1315 Tactical Indoctrination
Hypnotherapy and psychoconditioning are used to rapidly assimilate the Chapter tactical doctrines on a number of subjects. New battle languages are learned, alien weaponry, troops and vehicles are studied. Squad and company tactics are reviewed and lessons learned from the morning battle practice are examined.

1500 Battle Practice
Afternoon battle practice usually revolves around squad and company level tactics and reinforcement of the tactical indoctrination segment. Specialist squads such as devastors and assault troops will often use this opportunity to hone their particular skills while the tactical brethren practice close support with Dreadnoughts, armour and personnel carriers.

2000 Evening prayer
Evening prayer is viewed as a time for contemplation and giving thanks for the day's lessons learned. Once more praise is rendered to the Emperor and the Chapter's Primarch for the inception and existence of the Chapter. Gene-seed sampling may be undertaken at this time as it has by now been stimulated by the day's activities.

2100 Evening Meal
The evening meal is a more sedate affair than that at midday, with a substantial repast provided by the Chapter's serfs under the watchful eye of the Lord of the Household. Substantial quantities of protein rich food are made available, particularly to the younger brethren. Indulgent Chapter Masters may even permit the brethren to partake of alcoholic beverages at this time if the day's activities have been expertly done.

2130 Night Fighting Exercises
Chapters based on worlds where there is no perceptible night segment, or on ships in the void use this opportunity to practice combat underwater, in zero gravity, through dense fog or smoke or in other exotic conditions.

2315 Maintenance Rituals
Each Space Marine is expected to maintain and repair his own armour and weaponry according to standard rituals. Seriously damaged or defective gear is surrendered to the Master of the Forge for inspection and repair. Every effort is made to ensure that a Space Marine keeps the same set of equipment after their investiture so that they develop a close bond and understanding of the machine spirits they will rely on in battle.

2345 Free Time
Some Chapter Masters view this period of free time as an unwarranted luxury at best and a dangerous distraction at worst. It is maintained in most Chapters out of reverence for the Codex Astartes and Roboute Guilliman's words. "Consider (the) magnitude of your duty at your leisure, but act without hesitation when (action) is required." In honour of this Space Marines are permitted a short period of leisure each day to consider the magnitude of their duty to the Emperor.

0000 Rest Period Begins
Space Marines do not truly need sleep thanks to the Catalepscan Node -- an implant in their brain that enables them to rest half of their brain at a time whilst still maintaining awareness with the other half. However extended interference with the circadian rhythms of sleep has been shown to impair efficiency and induce personality disorders. To prevent this Space Marines enter a dreamless fugue state for four hours per day when not on campaign. The longest recorded incident of a Space Marine unit going without sleep was during the Ryan's World incident (Ref. 061.24/A) when the Crimson Fists remnants led by master Kantor remained operational for a period of 328.7 standard hours.

Complied from information supplied by the Black Consuls, Salamanders, Fleshtearers, Ultramarines and Silver Skulls Chapters. Additional notes are culled from the Codex Astartes (M38.transcription) and personal commentary by Captain Alhaus of the Black Templars.

Notes:
Many Chapter Masters and Company Captains favour changing times and details of the daily ritual to keep their brethren alert and able to quickly assimilate new orders or situations. Interruption of the rest period is frequent and the elimination of meals and the shortening of prayer times commonplace.

All Chapters have high days or feast days which usually celebrate the ascendance of the Emperor to the Golden Throne and the birth and death of their own Primarch (the actual dates observed for these practices vary immensely). On such special days all members of the Chapter who are present at the fortress will gather in the Assimularum for prayers led by the Chapter Master followed by a day long celebration which traditionally includes contests of skill and strength. This is also the traditional time for the acceptance of Neophytes, the elevation of Neophytes to Initiates, and the elevation of Initiates to Full Brethren. When there are worthy candidates, brethren may also be accepted into the Veteran company on a feast day. In all cases trials by ordeal are common, and in some cases fatal.

Typically brethren with special skills are permitted to work in the forges or the Apothacarion between the evening meal and rest period at the discretion of the Company Captain. There they are taught by the Techmarines or Apothecaries in their arcane crafts. Exceptional artisans and chirurgeons will be elevated to apprentice Techmarines or Apothecaries after a suitable period spent in vigil within the Solitorium.

The honour of guarding the Chapter Fortress is generally rotated between the 1st through 5th Companies according to which are present at the time. The 6th through 9th (reserve) companies train more regularly as they bear the majority of the Chapters most recently inducted brethren.

Brethren undertake penitence and purgation if they fail in their duties. This is usually self-imposed as a mark of dedication to the Emperor. Gross breaches of Chapter law may be met with death or exile of permanent or temporary nature (temporary exile is usually linked to the achievement of a specified goal).

No user - all marines are equally tough. No chapter is better than any other. Grow up.

I want a drawfriend to do a big picture of a Space Marine festival where they're all arm wrestling and cheering and singing songs in praise of the Emperor and eating steak taken from some massive beast they hunted and all that stuff.

>++Journal Entry #47,685++
>No reports from our scouts yet. Either the Orks have gone far, or our brothers have run into trouble. I pray for their safety and expedient return.
>Here on base, it is nearly time for a holiday the local Guardsmen celebrate on their home planet. A feast which celebrates the day the Emperor unified mankind on Terra.
>Though the holiday supposedly takes place on the same day of the unification, we have politely chosen not to point out that he real unification was 12 Terran days ago, accounting for rotational differences between this planet and Terra.
>Apparently, part of the holiday involves a hunt where those participating bring back what they find for a feast. The regimental command has allowed for a certain amount of squads to leave base and engage in this hunt each day.
>After reporting this to the company, it was decided that a few of our squads would engage in the hunt as well, as a show of camaraderie. Furthermore, we would leave early morning on the day of the feast, to catch them with a pleasant surprise.
>Our squad left long before the sun rose, armed with our weapons and armor, as well as an auspex to aid in finding some of the local wildlife
>However, we were hunting no ordinary beasts. According to our research, this planet was home to a very rare species of indigenous beast called the Krasnix, a species of giant worm-like creatures with acidic spit and the strength to crush boulders.
>We were able to locate one such specimen, and after a long battle were able to kill it. We then contacted our ships to bring the company to our location.
>With the Krasnix slain, we now asked ourselves how to prepare it for consumption.
>Thankfully, Brother Calcedus was present. Being a veteran of long crusades at the very edge of civilization, he was more than capable of devising a plan.

>We then removed the beast's innards, saving what Brother Calcedus deemed edible and taking care not to rupture its acidic sac. We then boiled the meat and roasted it over a low flame, lit with wood doused in Promethium.
>The final product was deemed safe for consumption, and extracted back to base.
>We arrived at the feast to nervous stares and worried whispers.however, we brough our large bounty with us, enough that each of us had to carry some over both shoulders.
>The Guardsmen and participating Sororitas seemed very skeptical of what we brought, but a few brave souls decided to test the meat. The result was highly positive, and soon the rest joined in.
>Morale was high that night, as some claimed it was the best meat any of them had ever consumed. Brother Calcedus stood with humble stoicness, but we could detect an ever-subtle glimmer of pride in his posture upon hearing such compliments.
>The mission complete, we joined them for the feast proceeded as planned.
>The problems began the following morning.

>The next morning, we awoke to the sounds of pained screams
>Drawing our weapons, we marched out of our ships and surveyed the area, believing that the Orks had launched a surprise attack.
>Instead we found the majority of the camp holding onto their posteriors and waiting in front of the latrines. Some could not wait, and defecated on the spot.
>Though we were not there, we have been told that a similar problem occurred in the Sister's barracks amongst those who participated in the feast.
>Confused, we retrieved a sample of the Guardsmens' feces and had our Apothecary examine it.
>In his examination, we discovered that Krasnix meat, while edible, is not entirely digestible. Furthermore, it contains certain unique toxins which can aggravate the human digestive system, causing stomach aches, light nausea, and diarrhea.
>We were unharmed due to our implants detoxifying the meat, but the Guardsmen were not so lucky.
>The Guardsmen have returned to their usual wariness as a result, and will not accept food offered by us on principle. The Sisters who were at the feast have been especially irate with us ever since, and we have discovered that questioning them on the incident only upsets them further.

Typically they have rank-studs worn above the right eyebrow do denote time served with the chapter, typically one every 50 years. As for general rank identifiers, sometime armour is painted differently to denote Rank, EG the ultraurfs paint the seargant's helmets red.

>The Sisters who were at the feast have been especially irate with us ever since, and we have discovered that questioning them on the incident only upsets them further.

I want you to be my GM
these adventures are comfy

Socially inept Space Marines is officially one of my favorite things to come out of Veeky Forums. Thank you, based writefaggot.

These stories make me VERY happy.
Thank both of you Anons.

How to explain to my coworkers why I'm laughing.
"Socially Inept Space Marines"
LOL
goddamn

This is all I have to offer in return.

We also know that a few Chapters, like the Salamanders, will spend time with the citizens/ their family when they can.

Glad you guys enjoy reading it. I might write more later, but for now I'm out of ideas

I've seen reference made to Marines getting "free time" because the Codex instructs them to "contemplate the Emperor at their leisure", meaning they need leisure time by "RAW", but that might have been made up.

I'd write some, I have some ideas, but I'm at work RN. Maybe in five hours when I'm off shift.

Ideas:
Sees guardsmen arm-wrestling, tries to bond by setting up displays of strength, scares the bajeesus out of them, reminding the humans just how powerful an Astartes can be but benching their tanks

After a battle they notice the guardsmen collect ork teeth for souvenirs. They think if they bring them teeth the guards might like them. Close on a million teeth later the Guardsmen are horrified at the difference in ability between themselves and the Astartes

They notice a particularly strong guardsman who kills an Ork Nob in melee, they proceed to investgate him and discover he has a son back on his home-world. They try to win him over by 'recruiting' his child for the chapter. This comes off as "good job killing that ork. We've taken your son. You will not see him again, it is a great honour."

Sees guardsmen fist-bumping, (let us not shatter their arms, only with other marine) tries to replicate such a thing with each other, ends up being a crashing thunderous smashing noise whenever the marines see a human to display 'the fistbump" in front of

Guardsman dies trying to give a marine cover fire, Marines have him turned into servo skull "now he will serve with us, FOREVER"

>"good job killing that ork. We've taken your son. You will not see him again, it is a great honour."

My sides, please have mercy

Moar socially inept Marines.
PLZ

Read the big man's big book of virtue of course

Shit. Space Marines? Really?
Thats the only fucking faction that actually HAS 'what do they do in free time' fluff established and you asking for them?

I have better question... what do typical chaos world civvies do? What do ORK's do? Do even common deldar's really spend the whole day just riding cock in latex and torturing people?

But let keep it simple... what do people in shrine, forge, agrarian or hive planets do in their spare time?

I know its basically life in NOT!north korea for closest reference and i know it really depends with sheer amount of fucking people in the galaxy but give me the best shoot.

What a young but adult twerp in shrine world for example would do after all that prayers, cleaning and polishing all that gold statues, prayers, duty in nearest shrine, prayers and eating daily rations in the evening so he can have more energy to clean even more statues?

Best thread on Veeky Forums in a while

>recent transracial convert
RIP sides

Fucking god almighty im fucking crying...
One of best threads and OC in age's.

I love you user's.

Yeah this really needs to be archived

>what do typical chaos world civvies do?
Pray to chaos!

>What do ORK's do?
More fighting.

>Do even common deldar's really spend the whole day just riding cock in latex and torturing people?
Yes.

threw this together thank you anons for making this possible and giving me many giggles

But I have a question now...

What chapter are these Marines from?

What the actual fuck do Iron Hands do when they're not purging?

Before or after Kardan Stronos' reforms?

Shitposting on the net about new patches.

Pray, eat, sleep and work on their augs mane.

Thank you so much user, Socially inept Marines is the best thing I've read on Veeky Forums in a while.
>"now he will serve with us, FOREVER"
my fucking sides

I'll try my best to imitate author's style again.

>++Journal Entry #47,685.b++
>Few days after the worm incident brother Osbert and I were participating in night watch duty.
>There are few guardsmen standing next to us.
>They are not a part of the evening overwatch.
>In fact, it is their free time, so they are smoking, chatting and looking at us with concern.
>Judging by the look on their faces, they'd rather be smoking somewhere else. However it seems that this is the only allowed smoking spot in this part of the camp.
>Brother Osbert silently asks my permission to engage in social activity with guardsmen. There is no sign of orks, so I allow him to go.
>After a small pause, brother Osbert comes closer and offers a few cans of grox meat for a pack of cigarettes.
>We have no need for these rations, since for the last few days we have been eating worm's meat. Osbert obviously does not tell guardsmen about this.
>At first guardsmen are suspicious, but the offer is too tempting since our canned grox meat is of higher quality compared to their rations.
>I'll give him credit for creativity, it seems the very act of barter had a positive effect on guardsmen.
>Brother Osbert lights up a cigarette and joins the idle company.
>He obviously can barely feel the taste of a cigarette, but it does not matter.
>Guardsmen are shocked at first. Looking at smoking marine seems to give them illusion that we are not so different after all.
>I keep standing on watch, occasionally checking on Brother Osbert.
>He seems to be doing pretty well. After a while he shares story of our previous campaigns and tells guardsmen tales of a glory and honour.
>Guardsmen are listening with cautious interest, occasionally letting out a cloud of smoke.

>Our local area is inhabitted by small rodents who live in tiny borrows.
>They are not dangerous, but are very curious creatures.
>Occasionally they climb out of a burrow next to a smoking group and try to smell the air.
>I've seen some guardsmen feeding these, so bravest ones tend to come closer to see if we will give them any food.
>Guardsmen scare them away with occasional well-aimed spit. They run back to their burrow with amusing squeaks. Everyone chuckle whenever it happens.
>Brother Osbert keeps following his strategy of imitating guardsmen.
>When one gets too close to him, Brother Osbert immideately spits on a creature.
>Sadly, out of habbit, he forgets to deactivate his Betcher's Gland.
>Suddenly cute little rodent lets out a surprised squeak of pain and falls to the ground.
>It desperately tries to crawl away, but it is already too late.
>Guardsmen are looking at it's demise in horror, cigarettes are falling out of their open mouths.
>The acid of astartes spit is eating into rodent's flesh, violently melting through fur, meat and bone.
>Creature emits horrible howls of agony as it is desperately trying to claw the spit of of it's muzzle.
>It is rocking back and forth on the ground in death throes.
>After a while it finally stops.
>There is a small cloud of smoke coming from melting rodent's corpse. The smell is horrible.
>Guardsmen run away, dropping canned meat in panic.
>Something tells me that I'm going to receive yet another report of lowered morale tomorrow.

>"BROTHERS! BEHOLD! I HAVE ATTACHED A DRILL, TO MY GROIN!"

I feel kinda bad about laughing.

best ones ITT

These dudes are the Marine malevolent, they don't hate people, nor do they intend to scare the shit out of them.

They're just especially socially inept.

Alright fuck it, I'll see about writing some more of these sometime after I wake up, not like I was gonna listen to my professors lecture anyways. It's 4:17 AM right now though, so I'm gonna get to sleep. If the thread's alive I'll do more.

I might try to join in, maybe.