You're in the club and this guy slaps your Emperor's ass What do you do?

You're in the club and this guy slaps your Emperor's ass What do you do?

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This meme needs to be euthanized.

You mean the Emperor? He pretty much is.

miniwargaming.com/deathwatch_itemgenerator

I pull out my:
>A Necron Warscythe with S +2, AP 2, Armourbane, Two-handed along with it being a Specialist Weapon and, Master-crafted

...

continue laying on the floor making sure my wings don't flap

I help out with my:

> Xenophase Blade

> S User, AP 3, Melee, Molecular Realignment Field (reroll successful invulnerables)

Fight him and die so hard my chapter feels it years later

Have at thee traitor!

>Power Sword

>Additional Traits: Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8"))

>Horus Lupercal
>I6
>3++ save
>6 attacks
>Super bolter and relic lightning claws
Good luck m8

">Your emperor's ass

Do you even Greater Good?

Hold the line

>Necron Voidblade

>S User, AP 4, Entropic Strike, Rending

>Additional Traits: Concussive

>Power Fist
>with instant death

bit overkill, but I think Horus has EW anyway doesn't he?

Grav-pistol

Additional Traits: Scoped (+1 BS), Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range)

I might just hurt him just a lil bit

>tau heavy rail rifle
>range:60 S:8 AP1 heavy 1
>additional traits:refined (+1S)

think I could do some damage with that

I know this is not a serious thread, but have you seen Horus' stats and rules? He wins against every primarch and can even solo Warhounds. Without similar statline AND equipment, the only thing you could use such gun for is to shoot yourself in the head to avoid being analy penetrated by the Talon of Horus.

underrated post

I'm not helping. The first time I used that generator I got a neutron blaster with Instant Death and Gets Hot. Killed myself the first time I pulled the trigger.

I warn him by exploding out of the subway station.

Leap in front of my Emperor in for him loyalty. I then d ok my duty and hold the line against this demi-god of madness and destruction, empowered by incomprehensible extra-dimensional beings, pissing him off to the point where he obliterates my body and soul, leaving behind only my legacy and balls that were so dense they were forged from the heart of a dying star.

Scoop up what's left and put it on the golden throne.

I pull out my trusty
>Ork Choppa

>S User, AP -

>Additional Traits: Shred

TIME TA CHOP DAT PUNY 'ORUS
WEZ DA EMPAHRAH'Z GREENEST
AINT NO KAYOSS GROT GONNA MESS WIT DA GOD-BOSS

Apparently I call up all my cousins so we can stomp the crap out of him in the car park.

>Eldar Webway Portal. Gain Deep Strike. Will not scatter when arriving. Can bring up to two other models with him and arrive as a "unit"

Watch it Horus

>Necron Tesseract Labyrinth

One use only. Instead of close combat attacks use this. Choose model in base contact. Target must take a Wound Test or Remove From Play.

Still requires I6 or a rare ability to survive Horus for a whole turn to be able to strike back.

>implying I'm not I8

kikkili

>your emperor's ass
Does he turn the emperor over just to slap his ass? I'm trying to picture how this plays out.

Pull a Sliscus and deep strike a dozen Ravagers on his ass

>Conversion Beamer

>Additional Traits: Quickened (+1 A), Poisoned


SUUUUUCK IT HORUS!

Nothing. Let his guards handle it.

>Pick the winning side

Pre-Heresy Horus vs Guilliman
Large scale war
Both sides are given an equal number of Imperial assets to start off with
They must use their own skills to amass greater forces and infrastructure/resources

Who wins?

Slap the emperors ass even harder, eventually devolving the situation into an ass slapping competition until one of us slaps his ass so hard we physically disable him, confining him to a golden wheelchair for the rest of his life......

Probably Horus? Roboute would really take off if you gave him time to take his assets and grow them. If the two get to fight right away Horus would take the day - being best in attack and all.

Horus easily.

How much time would Guilliman need to catch up, if he can catch up at all?

Without any Chaos stuff to aid Horus (since this is pre-heresy horus), I feel like Guilliman could pull ahead on sheer resources and infrastructure if he is given a thousand years or so. Horus would probably beat him before that time, though.

I raise my boy some HYPE

I charge up my:

>Lascannon

>Additional Traits: Lance, Fleshbane

Let's fuckin do it.

Well if Chaotic powers were present and they were assisting Girlyman, Horus would still win.

Horus's thing, apart from being better then everyone, is blitzkrieg styled domination. Guilliman was a good tactician and good with logistics but Horus was on another level. Horus would run him over before Guilliman could pull ahead on recruitment and supplies.

Horus tactics seem to play into Alpharius'/Omegon's tactical style.

Who do you think would win between Horus, Luna Wolves and Alpharius/Omegon, Alpha Legion?
If their forces were relatively equivalent.

Slowly turn into a Custode, apparently.

Well A&O seemed to be ahead of the game in space when they first met Horus so perhaps they could win that way.

>Tyranid Bonesword
>S User, AP 3, Lifedrain (Instant Death on To Wound of 6)
>Additional Traits: Unrefined (-1 S), Quickened (+1 A)
I'd prefer it more if I got something ranged. F-for the Emperor.

This. While Gulliman would be awaiting the projected figures for logistical line movements of sectors VI to XXIII, Horus and the Juesterain would drop through the ceiling to rip and tear.

Horus

Guilliman starts hoarding resources, starts stacking stuff and begins preparing for turtle-strategy.

Horus builds an army, gets some experience, trains his forces to become an unstoppable speartip and strikes at Girlyman while Rowboat is still gathering resources for his empire-building adventure game.

Horus is the Field Marshal
Roboto is the Stewardo

heck, had there been no HH and the primarchs would have employment in the Imperium, Roboute would probably have made it for Financial Ministry or who ever is in charge of economy.