Your current party comes into possession of a vial filled with Ice-9. What do you do?

Planeshift to the elemental plane of water and open in.

Cast some frickin sweet spells.

Congrats. There's now a new elemental plane of ice-9.

I will admit, I thought this is what OP was referencing. I was befuddled why he said "a vial of" but the other thing makes way more sense.

Oh. So that's where 8-BIT theatre got their things from.

Melt it. Then make it undergo electrolysis. Burn the resulting gas in sealed container. Bombard with proton radiation until all detected substance is at least lead. Attempt to remove it from Earth & orbit. If possible, throw into a star or other similar fusion reactor.

Oh, also test for remnants at various points by adding pure water while inside hermetically sealed room.

Die. Even if they knew what it was, which none of the illiterate fucks would, they'd still instantly open it just because "lol".

you're fine once you melt it

fucking newfags...

Use it to chill a glass of polywater.

Combine it with Ice XVI and create the all-new Ice XXIV

Recreate the world and humankind with it.

Dude, you've never seen Final Fantasy before?

There's very little water in my setting. Does Ice-9 detect as evil? Because if not one of the dumb fucks would probably drink it.

Which one? They just came out with final fantasy XV.

Then that dumb fuck dies instantly and turns into a warm ice statue.

>not being familiar with kurt vonnegut's work
user if you're not fucking with us you're in for a good bit of enjoyment

Can't be sure all of it is melted. Just making sure.

>Knowledge of ice-9 or in-setting equivalent is present/available
Seal it, double seal it, triple seal it, put it in a pocket dimension, and then anchor that pocket dimension to an adamantium sphere you then throw into an active volcano.
>Without knowledge
One of us is gonna touch the stuff and die instantly. Then the next time it rains in the area the entire planet is going to die (coastal location, planet is covered in 85% water and 60% of the land is islands).

You. I don't like you.

wonder how the fuck Galath broke out of Saranthia the proceed to get locked away with Ausar

Pass it off to their patron. He'll probably have more of a use for it than them, and if it fails it'll be his problem.

>tfw I thought ice-9 originated in 999
Oh god I'm a pleb.

Is there any useful purpose ever given for this shit? Or is it just a really strange accidental doomsday device?

The original, Final Fantasy for the NES.

Wonder how the hell the vial is maintaining -133 Celsius and 1974 atmospheres of pressure.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_IX

Use whatever means I have available to disassociate it at a molecular level.

>One of us is gonna touch the stuff and die instantly. Then the next time it rains in the area the entire planet is going to die (coastal location, planet is covered in 85% water and 60% of the land is islands).
Well if you're lucky, the characters IC may decide that it's just some super-ice-trap and that warming up the victim may help. Of course, he's going to be still dead after melting (and also partially boiled) but the rest of the world is going to survive.

>American
>author
>American
>culture (other than McDonalds tier)

See, there is your problem.

...

No, that whete the OP should go, if he wants to discuss about obscure writers.

That vial could be useful.

Maaagic.

The trick is figuring out how to use it as a weapon without endangering yourself or destroying the vial.

Half the party dies and we don't have the tools to bring all the ice-9 with us nor a bag of holding to put everything away.

>obscure

If you've ever read a book in your life, you know who Kurt Vonnegut is.

The fuck I'd ice 9

>Kurt Vonnegut
Never heard of him, and I've read tons of books.

>t. I wrote an essay of him in burger high school, so naturalöy everyone knows him

>Take the ice crystals
>Make a little more
>Crush them to dust
>Fill 7 small vials full of the dust
>Burn the rest
>Make each vial an ornate necklace
>Enchant it with a minor compulsion to not break. Completely unnoticeable.
>Sell them off
>In about fifty years one breaks for whatever reason and now another group of adventurers now has to track down the other 6 necklaces and destroy them before any aspiring villian wants to take the world's water supply hostage.

>freezes at 45 degrees Celsius
>ice at all normal climates on earth
is there some obscure bit of Veeky Forums i am missing here because that does not sound right

113 degrees Fahrenheit is above normal climate temperatures almost everywhere on earth, except in some bumfuck nowhere desert.

oh fuck i am retarded for some reason i was thinking freezing at that temperature and higher.
disregard my faggotry

still not as embarrassing as the time i totally miscalculated the time from earth to sun at 1/4 light speed.

I'm Canadian, so that's basically burgerland, but I found out about him through my parents when I was a kid. I always assumed he was a classic English language writer until recently because I too had to write essays about him in high-school.

Yeah, we all had to write essays in high school too user. That doesn't mean we all wrote them about the same books.

16.143 minutes?

something like that
i somehow came out at about 33 hours to this day i still do not know how i reached that number

if i was gming i would have the plane adapt itself to be mostly above the new melting point
it will still be a far harsher environment of course but it wont be completely useless

shame most of the things living there would die from the temperature change

>melt it and everything is fine
This is not how it works.

>Take it and show the world it's power
>Then transmute a few thousand tons of the stuff, powdered.
>Hide all of it in a demi-plane set to collapse upon my death.
>Basically hold the world hostage.
>Die horribly shortly after because it was a stupid plan to begin with.

go read some books dumbass

so what you want about the gelatinous lardhive that makes up America, but some of those shits can fucking write

I'm aware of the Vonnegut connection but when I saw the thread I came here to spam some 999 memes.

Instead of doing that I'll just say that if I find a vial I'm probably wired with explosives and solving programming puzzles like my life depends on it.

Optimally we get on NASA's ass for the first launch of something into the sun, but I really don't trust our superiors enough to bring this problem to them.

Said the man on the American website using the American invention to access the American invention.

You sure showed them Americans.

Modern game so it's really simple.
>Put it in a fancier vial
>Carefully make a mold for a briefcase shell
>Make it out of ice-9
>Disguise it as an armored briefcase
>Put the ice-9 bottle in the briefcase
>Sell it to terrorists.
>Sit in my multi-million dollar bunker (EBay) and laugh out the apocaypse

More like 32 minutes, I thought 1 AU was about 8 light minutes?

8.2 light minutes

Try to make a new ice-9-powered generator, fail horribly, and end up killing everyone I've ever known and loved and everyone else.

It was intended to be useful for turning swamps and mudflats into walkable terrain but it turned out to be impractical and too dangerous.

And that's how we know you're a liar.

Besides Goosebumps and Boxcar Children?

>there are people who don't know who Kurt is
For fuck's sake, I'm from a third-world Slavic shithole, I rarely read books, but even I know what Cat's Cradle or Breakfast of Champions is.

Probably because you have less authors to remember than a guy who read thousands books by thousands authors.

Keep digging that hole, no one's buying it.

That was my first post in that thread, but, thanks. Maybe I'll find oil.

Why would ANYONE with a half sane mind would invent something like iceIX, let alone a scientist that gets state funding. Like things that not only instantly kill people upon touch but easily destroy all life an Earth just by a minor accident with absolutely no way to stop it.

Seriously this is like MN9:Trinity level stupid, and the "genius scientist" people who invent these with clear good intentions for solving a mundane problem or prove a point are seriously worse than all the evil mad scientists combined that actively want to damage humanity but they are not THIS stupid.

Internet invented by british

[source missing]

The internet is so massive and diverse that no one man can be acertained as the sole inventor. Dozens of people have contributed greatly to the creation of the Internet.

Dude,
just
wow
wow
dude.

it is a metaphor

t. literate