How come we cant ever invade a cool country like chicks in bikinis

>How come we cant ever invade a cool country like chicks in bikinis

Alright Veeky Forums grant him his wish what happens when American marines invade a country full of chicks in bikinis

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Make the country full of amazons and I might be sold

Why is America invading this island?

Fertile ovaries are a natural resource worth plundering

Uncle Sam gives the soldiers hormone pills to prevent erections.

Knowing the US government midway though the shipment it somehow gets mixed with a Viagra order

Marines get stationed in Australia all the time.

>Why is America invading an island full of chicks in bikinis
The official story? It is believed that the government possesses WMDs, also known as Weapons of Mass Distraction.

The leading cause of death for Americans in chicks-in-bikinis-land is IEDs: Improvised Erotic Distractions. Most often, a driver will be going down the road, his eyes are caught by a woman in a bikini making a suggestive pose, then WHAM! Crashes right into a telephone pole. Medical examiners often remark that the deceased appear to have been quite happy at the time of death.

The military has elected to create a new "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy, wherein military personnel are not required to disclose the numerous fulfilling sexual relations they invariably have with the stunningly attractive locals.

Soldiers who served there often suffer from PTSD (Post Tantalizing Stress Disorder), where veterans and others involved worry constantly that they might never again see so many hot scantily clad babes in one place. Some married men are emotionally unable to return to their comparatively plain wives after their adventures in this steamy warzone.

How would gay soldiers perform against an amazon society that employ seduction tactics?

As a Marine vet user, I can safely say that if this was to happen, the medical and judicial systems of the target country would be overloaded with pregnancies, rapes, and various sexual assault/harassment cases.

There is a reason we spend 95% of our Safety Standown training on above things.

youtube.com/watch?v=twQlpFrm5iM

Only one team can answer the call

>There is a reason we spend 95% of our Safety Standown training on above things
You get training on how to rape?

>The US Bear Force has recently intensified bear-strikes on key targets across a country full of dudes in speedos.

Might as well be without the "prevention" part... because I'm pretty sure it's annual training if not semi-annual and you probably get it pounded into your head more often than that.

The cases where the shit happens just tend to be high profile and more often than not make it to the mainstream news sphere and evoke some amount of outcry and call for oversight.

It has also created the atmosphere where false accusations can be thrown around willy-nilly and get people into high levels of professional trouble, even if found not guilty.

And the only answer is:

>MOAR TRAINING!

>U.S Bearforce already managed to infiltrate the amazon island using only multi color polos and speedos
>they were reported to all be taking showers in the center of the main amazon village

>Alright Veeky Forums grant him his wish what happens when American marines invade a country full of chicks in bikinis
A gate (roll credits) has been opened between [insert US military base here] and an alternate dimension where a matriarchal society of elves of varying delicious colors* rules the world. Due to some weird magical realm evolutionary defect, only 1 in 20 children born among elves are male, making them a very precious commodity. The elves also happen to be constantly at war with agressive monstergirls, most of which are practically unable to give birth to men of their own and rely on humanoid men's seed for the propagation of their species.

Are you bad enough dudes to save the elves? Or fuck the monstergirls. Or maybe both, whatever. Fight 'em, fuck 'em, nobody cares.

*there's no real difference, it's purely aesthetic

...

>Being THIS shit at lying back and doing nothing
Prostitutes really are worthless.

Going to a proper brothel isn't the same as trading your cousin $10 for a quickie in the bathroom while your parents get the dinner table ready.

user, if you fucked someone for three hours straight, your cock would chafe and you'd be exhausted. Same thing happens to women, except it's their fuckholes and not cocks that chafe up.

There's only so much dicking any given individual can take and/or receive in one day, plus how much energy you have devoted to doing it, and there's an aircraft carrier worth of seamen versus a single brothel worth of whores. Even with three holes to use for fucking, you're going to end up with a lot of exhausted whores and a lot of disappointed seamen who are going to be told that the brothel is closing and they're just going to have to drink the local bars dry instead.

Maybe the amazons are sitting on oil or an experimental aircraft crash landed on the island

I like this idea

I think it would be more entertaining if a single Amphibious Assault Ship ran around on an island.

>oh you know, just Marine things

>Marines
>not all flaming homos

This speaks more on the australian sex industry than anything. I mean, a city of 25000 people and one brothel, and a fucking carrier group, any sane capitalistic industry would smell the opportunity

Drying can be prevented by proper diet or countered by artificial lubrication.
Chafing and soreness will go away with practice. It's like jogging, if you're slob office drone you'll be out of breath in 10 minutes, but somebody with enough training can keep going for hours. Obviously you still need short breaks for food and hygiene and some time for sleep once a day, but that's what working with a shift plan is for.

>Don't stop the boats
>Force the women into prostitution
>Force the men to crossdress and then prostitute themselves

>implying there's even a single marine who knows that they're a department of the Navy

You mean
>take the women
>send boats and men back
:^)

...

Somehow this seems counterproductive.

The people preparing the presentation hates it almost as much as the people that have to watch it.

> CTRL-F chicken
> CTRL-F poultry
Veeky Forums I am disappoint

We already did, you retard.

>19 American servicemen died assaulting a Caribbean party college.