Welcome to the Slaaneshi Spittoon, how heretical are you?

>I don't use coasters

You sick fuck

Slow down, Satan.

That's not heretical, that's just being a dick.

I once told a Blood Angel to have a nice day.

I also think that VirtualOptim is the best thing that ever happened to this board and that he needs to come back.

Tzeench, please go.

At night.

I drink damnation.

I gave a gift to the Blood Ravens.

He's already around. That's nothing. I've got his email.

I once came in the bleeding butthole of a drunk girl in the back of my violet 1998 Ford Taurus while blasting Motley Crue so loud it cracked the speakers.

So.... you live in a trailer park.

Oh yeah? I do it consensually. I also don't seed my torrents.

oh yeah I did the same thing but I was blasting Jouney and
It was in the back of a Volkswagen

I have a fetlife account, a Futanari fetish, and a very loose definition of the term "female."

MODS MODS MODS

no. At the time I lived an area of the city, literally called "The Gayborhood."

I helped design FATAL.
It's actually somewhat true.

he told the story about how he came in mac and cheese he brought for some players here right?
literally the only entertaining thing to come out of that faggot's mind. if only for how sick it was
that faggot is cancerous.
worse than cancer boring.

Story. NOW.

Everyone else shut the fuck up.

I ripped the tags off my mattress.

I drink beer and milk at room temperature.

Remember the old saying:
>IF THIS VAN'S A-ROCKIN, I'M DOIN' COKE TO DOKKEN

...

C-Come right in sir!!

There is not much to tell.
The guy in question was a buddy of mine at this bumfuck forum I frequented at the time.

I was a college student at the time, and when he asked to help me with designing his game and balance the numbers in his character creation equations, I happily obliged, despite knowing that "math equations + average RPG players = unplayable".

Those ridiculous numbers you have in the character creation to calculate the anal circumference and what not? Probably my fault.

How the fuck do you sleep at night?

Interesting, if true.

Soundly.

A fucking greater daemon of slannesh right here

Or a changer of ways if he's lying to us

Well, I'm pretty sure it was the FATAL guy.
I mean, he never explicitly told me the name of the game, but I can recognize my handiwork, especially when I see the same exact equations, and there aren't a lot of RPGs that use equations in them, especially for "body part measurements" (sic) as he told me.

I did not expect this. Let the man through.

Nah, I'm talking about whether or not you actually did it, not if it was the real FATAL guy.

I enjoyed more instalments of dranon's delight than I was disgusted by

I played John Cena as a black squid person who shot white ink in an attempt to derail the campaign into something better, rather than for pure shittery.

How terrible was the game that you had to do that to make it BETTER?

theoretical genital algebra is probably exactly where the blessings of slaanesh and tzeench meet

I fap to kobold porn every now and then.

I once noticed the most desired girl in my high school wasn't with her prom date at an after prom

The after prom took place at a bonfire night party in the absolute abyssal void of the Quebec forest, it's not unusual for people to get lost for days if they fuck up. That's unrelated but anyway.

She was absolutely fucking gorgeous. I talked with her date (we had this weird fucking rivalry or something? Not sure why, he was really straight edge and i was the exact opposite, he saw me as some sort of antithesis) hr gave me a six pack as a friendly deal, great guy.
She ditched him for an even more entitled rich kid. He was a light stoner but pulled off the straight edge fuckboi well.

Cutting through most of the events, I was very drunk, traded a bear for a bowl of weed, everyone was just passing away shit for free. I eventually stumbled over to her and her parasitic friends who thought because they were with an exceptionally attractive girl the guys who try and ask her out will have to talk to them to get to her or some shit

Fuck it, I'll cut the story further. I was in some weird arm huddle with her new date and her and like a few other people, but my hand slid down and grabbed her ass. I wasn't even feinting it, I grabbed it, then since she had yoga pants on I started fingering her a bit. It was pretty great desu.

She gasped, said "why would you do that user?" And I said "idk, I'm a bad guy, you should slap me for this" and she did, and that's when I popped a boner. The dude she was with disappeared in my mind.

Continued the night and almost fucked this absolutely horrid goblin woman, she looked so God damn hot at that moment but god looking at her unsober was painful.

When I went to school the next week the ex prom date guy told me she called like 6 guys to take me out. But they apparently didn't? I thought it was funny.

Was ostracised the rest of the year which is fine with me. I didn't like talking with the fags at my school, aka everyone.

>Basically mfw

your story was gay

I once planned to run a game set in a goofy version of the Star Wars universe featuring John Cena as Mandalore under the title Mandalore the Usurper.

Ye I know but I took this thread to vent. And to be an edgy cunt

>Vaginal Spider Capacity.

>Implying John Cena isn't already a Mandalorian

I use to indulge in my foot fetish by tricking a tomboy into letting me touch her feet every once in a while

You have to be 18 years or older to visit Veeky Forums.

You're like if Nurgle was an asshole

this board, and perhaps website might not be for you

Don't worry. I'll fuck off to /r9k/
This thread is ded anyway

that's good.
sleep well robot faggot

Why so salty guy?

>traded a bear for a bowl of weed
How was this not the crux of your shitty story?

I practice BDSM.

Wait. It gets better.

In BDSM terms, there are two types of excercizes. Dicipline, and Punishment.

Punishment is the fun stuff. The foot play, the spanking, the tying up, the teasing.

Dicipline is actual punishment. Used to create or change behavioral patterns.

So, my girl, when I need to punish her gets complete sensory deprivation, and a pair of quality noise cancelling headphones.

I have a playlist for this excersize which consists exclusively of two genres of music.

Techno-Polka, and Country-Rap.

But I like Techno-Polka...

Then you're wrong. Horribly wrong indeed.

>salty
nigga what?

>Used to create or change behavioral patterns
this will only create a techno-polka and/or cournty-rap fetish you fool

Right this way sir

I know.

...

>nobody has posted the story of user fucking his girlfriend's infected, mid-period vag yet.

>The GM was genuinely autistic. Nice guy, very enthusiastic and cheerful but tended to be extremely loud and inflexible in terms of his views.
>Wanted to do a homebrew that wasn't very well thought out for mechanics
>We couldn't really veto a GM choice, so we were stuck with him
>None of the stats other than attack and speed really meant anything
>Concept was something about squid people shooting octopus people, I think it was from some franchise
>Make John Cena:Back in Black and Ready with Bukkake
>Weapon was literally a gun that took "a while to charge, but fir[ed] powerful shots" (gm's words, he was briefing us on classes)
>Most of the others were playing joke characters as well (Leatherface the Satanic Ass Eater really sticks out in my mind)
>GM fuckups incoming:
>deathly allergic to player-NPC interaction
>"I'm going to ask the shopkeeper how he managed to get inside this hostile-infested maze, and if he can tell us about any traps or suspicious movements by the enemies."
>You can't, he ran out of the maze back to town.
>"Straight out of the maze? Whose entrance had a cave in that we couldn't get past?"
>GM smugly smiles and says yes
>"Let's run him down then. We should be able to catch him."
>Can't do that, he's out of the maze.
>BTW, shopkeeper gave us weapons for free because the GM forgot his self-insert descended from the heavens to give us money before we entered the maze

You know, why do you want me out, why do you dislike me man?

Infected is another thing. But I fucked a girl on her period. It's decent lube

Just remember that gravity is your friend.

>imma leave
>bye
>why do you want me to leave?
>why do you dislike me

...

Yo.
You monster.

you ought to have learned from the feck micks yeh fegget
youtube.com/watch?v=9-95uLna-P0

seems like it was an attempt to do an splatoon themed setting, such a waste of potential.
agree with this user, decent lube and least chance of pregnancy. win-win

Please don't leave me user

I don't really have any issue with it, when I'm horny and I have a girl (who is also horny because of said period) why would I let it get to me?

The only issue I have that makes me gag is the crusty congealed blood that sort of scabs inside and wraps around your member. But otherwise Y'know

YO, IT'S STARTING TO BORE ME HOW MUCH YOU SUCK

>crusty congealed blood that sort of scabs inside and wraps around your member.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

...

I'm neither of these fucks... if I masturbate furiously to their exchange does that get me in?

>Weapons that we didn't need much since we already shredded enemies with no challenge
>Blatant railroading
>Bragged out of game he "loved designing cross roads" with "one wrong way, /one right way/, and a dead end"
>Okay we were in a maze but still
>Bragged out of game how his friend, who joined mid-way, was the party leader because he said so and wanted to talk sense into the final boss
>"But I'm not gonna let him be spared."
>Separating OOC and IC was tenuous at best
>Had a Sans (undertale skeleton) statue in one of the rooms
>Loved the fuck out of Sans, compared himself to him all the time
>GM's friend decides to shoot the statue because fuck it
>GM's friend's character gets blasted to death immediately, no saves

i'm one of those dudes
yes
but at least one of us has to watch

If I write shitty fanfic about them fucking, can I get in?

Only if you include same-size Vore and MPreg/ Male-menstruation.

I jerked it to worse. So get
Involved and you're officially a slaaneshi

...

I'm so heretical that I go in dressed as an Inquisitor to scare people.

I pronounce it "suck-you-bee" instead of "suck-you-by"

Not even in my deepest, darkest nightmares could I conceive of something so horrible. I always wondered what it is that the cenobites do to their victims when they "enlighten" them, I now know what it is.

suck-you-bae
:^)

Easy

>Not pronouncing it sue-coo-bous

I discuss hentai and other unsavory topics with my fourteen year old niece quite often.
I'm her favorite uncle.

You better not be letting her grow up to have shit taste.