ITT we say the turning point where everything went wrong in one greentext

>Can the elves be, like, persecuted Jews?

>What do you mean I don't know the ancient language yet? I wrote down twelve letters so far!

>An ETK anti material rifle huh? What's the penalty for headshots?

>"Let's play some PF/3.5"

>"Who the fuck is Strahd?"

>I start moving the bodies

>"I'm gonna charge 'em."

>let's fight the green dragon!

>"Screw it, I'm gonna kill her."

Guess how many fertility spells I have.

>"I'm gonna try animal handling on the six-tailed panther monster."

>"I definitely maintain eye contact with the lich."

>"I shoot the kid."

Ok, I swear to god I had a good reason for doing the last one, but that doesn't fucking stop the DM from ripping me about it every FUCKING chance he gets. This happened five years ago. I still hear about it.

...

it was 90, stored in a wand. But halfway though I snapped it in half and 40-ish of them burst outward and condensed on about 10 random women.

Came to say this.

>"I loot the bodies"

Our Jedi is not a moral man.

Do not shoot children, Steven. Even if you thought it was the best solution.

>She was a tiefling trickster bard, who had been raped, repeatedly, in her backstory

>i mean, what's the worst that could happen?

>Nah, it's cool. I'm sure they can calibrate the intradimensional power relay inducer without me.

>I say on behalf of my people "How prepared are you for an invasion?" during this diplomatic meeting with the leader of this settlement that doesn't trust me.
He'll never live that down. Things were going so well too. The war that followed became a massacre.

>space brownies

>"I have nightmares beginning with those words..."

"I'm just taking a few steps out of the tank to pee dude, chill. What's the worst that could happend?"

>No worries, I can hande it.

Quads of storytime

>No wait, let me try this new spell on him!

>I'm going to touch it

That's horseshit.
Killing children can be a very effective tactic, when executed properly or via Mozambique Drill on national television don't let a bunch of naysayers stop you from operating operationally.

>Let's press on through the night.
[spoilers] Actually turned out okay, but it was tough on us. [/spoilers]

>What do you mean you lost the lich?!

He's not flame retardant. It should work.

>we can summon him if we have his true name, right? we could make him do whatever we want!

>Who's Hastur?

>We know it's a trap, but we want to spring it.

>so the woman is wearing nothing but a hospital gown, shows signs of restraint on her arms and legs, has visible surgical scars on her head, and is begging for help
Yes
>Okay I shoot her with my shotgun when she is not looking
He was right to do so in the end, she was a sleeper agent, but as a Keeper it hurts when they blow the head off your plot hooks

But he is a practical one.

>Tiefling Girl
>Raped
>Probably Chaotic Neutral

I swear to fucking god every group has ONE.

>I need to cancel this week too.

>Are you sure?
>Yes

>What if we just light all the entrances to this room on fire so the guards can't come stop us?

I never thought I'd be in a situation where I'd have to explains how fire works to a table full of adults before.

when will this gun stop being vaporware ;__;

...

>"What? No, I mean, I didn't mean to rape my older adopted brother, my mother possessed me."

>suddenly realize that the new person playing the innocent seeming asexual teen girl character was much smarter and the character much scarier than the rest of the evil party's edgelords, and slowly start making sure she's on ~my~ side

That ended well, but not for the other party members.

>Wait, was that there before?

>I tell her to shove it.

>I don't care. I follow the noise upstairs.

>"What's the worst thing that could happen"

>How many corpses can I raise a round again?

This gif is three different jokes all dumped into one

"I can get us Astrolite"

this is a double one
In character
>There's no need to run away, we got this!
same player, OOC
>I'm sure the God-Slaying Blade isn't actually that powerful

1d4chan.org/wiki/Sociopathic_diplomancer_gets_shut_the_fuck_down

Preserved for all time

Magnificent

>Let's try a peaceful approach

The CE demigod was surprisingly receptive and now half the party worships him.

my long standing gm loved that adventure and he tried to run it 3 times with out group

each time it turned out to be a horrible disaster as he went too far with the ravenloft shit

>So what are you going to do Mollari? Blow up the island?

>All those hard to locate objects we need to destroy are probably somewhere on Earth, so how about plunging the entire planet into the Sun? Later we actually did it. It didn't work

>Maybe we should kill ourselves

>How about we petition Satan for aid?

>Sure, let's check out whatever it is that pings as the greatest evil in the universe.

>The fabric of space and time is getting torn apart? I grow a bunch of tentacles and push them through the seams

>"Jokes on you! I'm strapped!" Five second was all it took for that to go south for everyone involved.

"I loot the volcanic god's favorite ruby"

It was a fun game.

Are these all the same game?

what exactly is it doing that's different from all other point and click solutions to human life.

I'm legit curious just cause that previous pic looks cool and I might like to use the visual design for stuff.

Yes. We were super-heroes.

"I'm going to use Force Persuasion on him."

This never ends well.

kek

source?

No idea, I got it from some Veeky Forums thread.

>we behead the hostage and throw his head to the police, that will show them we don't fucking play

According to Google Image search (great tool by the way, takes less than thirty seconds) it's from a comic called Irredeemable.

>I dunk the hallucinogenic toad in the barbarians communal ale.

>I roll to shoot the king as a distraction.

I remember wanting to read that on some point. But I've never seen it make the rounds on /co/. Basically a Superman esque superhero cracks under the pressure and basically fucks everything up.

It has a companion piece called Incorruptable about a supervillain trying to go straight after the whole aforementioned super hero gone evil thing.

And I don't get any of them!

It's pretty good, I should finish the series sometime.

>The scrawny guy throws the dancing AR47 into the air. It's tracking all of you.

>We sacrifice the orphan to the Mouth of Beyond.

>"I smile and wave"

>"Fuck it, let's just run down the mountain. He'd be an idiot to follow us"

>"I mean, it's not lying technically. It was omission. They are reasonable people too, it shouldn't be a problem"

make it only grant powers for a single element of the players choice

>Fuck it bullrush exists for a reason

>I go to knock on the door *rolls sunder*

>I can save that noble!

>I walk outside my house door

>I cast smite on the sewer monster!

> I roll to seduce

shotgun shells don't fall everywhere i guess.

>GM
"Are you sure?"

>Me
"Did I stutter?"

And that's how I began the kidnapping of a major crime boss.

did it pay off?

Kind of? My personal goal was achieved, in spades.

So basically there was this Grand Witch that we were negotiating with to get her army to fight some Undead. My Frankenstein wanted to be magically reinforced by her because it would be awesome; plus then I could act as an Arc Node to bounce her spells off of.

Heard she hated this Crime Lord, who as it turns out ran most of the London Underground. So I went off to kidnap this fucker, and in the process kidnapped a group member as well who I happened to be carrying.

Dragging the Crime Lord out of his flat at like three in the morning wasn't that hard. Then the police showed up. Then the Crime Lord's minions. Which was a little harder.

I delivered the package unharmed to the Grand Witch. She then proceeded to torture the Crime Lord for about a day. Afterwards, I was her best friend.

>is it eyeballing me?

Turns the thing we thought was a crocodile was a basilisk

Me
>"Oh my god JC, A bomb!"

Rogue
>Running in fast. "A bomb!"

[x]noone went to actually diffuse the thing[/x]

>shit I Wasn't expecting them to be competent. fuck it, just run
>what the fuck do you mean just run