I've developed a bit of a nasty reputation in my hometown as being kind of a hardass DM. I guess it's true to an extent...

I've developed a bit of a nasty reputation in my hometown as being kind of a hardass DM. I guess it's true to an extent. My campaigns rule and I spent a lot of time working on them. I shouldn't have to put up with shitty applications and bad roleplayers. You can practice your improv on a module, sod off.

But now a few of the people who handed me said shitty applications are causing shit for me. It's becoming a bit tough to handle. They're scalping players off me and taking things I've said out of context. I've had one guy straight up rescind his application and tell me it's because he didn't wanna get cussed out. I ain't ever cussed nobody out. What the hell?

I need a PR makeover. How do I put a positive spin on demanding perfection?

>sod off.
>I ain't ever cussed nobody out.
Maybe a bit more self awareness would help?

You are socially kill
There's no cure for being a cunt

You sound like an asshole, fuck you

Why do you have an application process for people to play games with you? Why are you not playing the game with friends? Have you tried removing the stick from your ass? Just go to your FLGS and put a flyer up about running a lighthearted game at the place if you lack friends.

sod off is a cuss? Huh.

It's hard to do a PR spin if the first place you come is to Veeky Forums instead of taking it to the local TTRPG hub matey. I mean, let's be real here for a minute, you really wanna come here for social standing assistance?

I hope

>My campaigns rule
>According to ((((((you))))))

Maybe you're the asshole?

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume they're just drama queens. They've sowed the seed maliciously. You seem like a social sperg so the only way to clear some of the air is with a grand gesture. Call them out publicly in front of a group of gamers. Don't pose it in question form, just tell them to stop making shit up because they suck but do it subtley. Word it something like:

>I heard a rumor from some people that I'm a jerk DM. I also heard it was coming from you. I'm not here to argue or play he said/she said, I just want to make sure you're not still upset I didn't want to DM for you. I know you don't like games with heavier themes and grim gameplay. So yeah, have a good one.

>turn 360 degrees and walk away

Don't sperg while saying this. Don't let them interrupt you until you're finished. People will see you as calm and reasonable, personable, and familiar with said people spreading rumors. This will run in complete contrast to the rumor their spreading, even if it's true and you're an asshole.

Godspeed.

>you really wanna come here for social standing assistance?
Maybe I'm just in the mood for a bit of anonymity after the week I've had, I dunno. I'll take any advice at this point.

>Why are you not playing the game with friends?
My friends don't play tabletop RPGs, generally. The few that do I am in a game with.

Sure, but one of those nice bleached assholes.

I don't need a cure. I just need to distract people from it.

I notice you're trying to do that thing where you compare and contrast two contradictory statements in order to make a point. The prerequisite there is that your examples actually do contradict each other. Keep practicing, you'll get it. I believe in you.

>My campaigns rule
>According to ((((((you))))))
Partially. But before this shit went down they were in pretty high demand just by word of mouth so, I dunno. They might be terrible though, no way for me to know for sure. Call it a gut feeling that I think they're pretty good.

Thank you for actually giving advice, though. And, hey, I got there in less than ten replies! This is not the Veeky Forums I remember at all. I will take it into consideration.

>You can practice your improv on a module, sod off
out of curiosity what part of roleplaying isn't improv, unless you're working off of a script that is

Such is the price one pays for being a cunt.

>not pre-writing the entire session and mailing the script out to your players a week in advance

>i have an application to play with me

Yeah man i think you're a bit of a tight ass.

What game do you GM for?

Bait.

On a related note, am I that DM Veeky Forums?

>Players fighting to restore rightful heir to kingdom in a high intrigue setting
>Trying to gather support from neighboring lords
>Priest offers support if the players absolve their sins through baptism
>No sense motive checks, no questions
>they agree, go unarmed with the heir to the church
>Priest absolves them, but says they still have to atone for breaking mortal law of treason
>They are all captured
>Execution impending
>Offer players deal for freedom
>They say no

They all have no idea what the fuck to do, even though I've given them multiple options. Am I a railroading DM, or are they dumb?

"You don't record and grade them too?"

You should have considered the option that they would choose 'honorable death'.

It's a problem when GMs presume their players will act a certain way.

I mean, they're obviously dumb for not checking for a trap.

But at the same time, you should try to avoid absolute backed-into-a-corner plays, unless it's a meatgrinder campaign.

What options did you give them?

Sod refers to sodomy, which is essentially anal sex.
You're basically telling people to fuck off. What did you think it was?

Once they were taken I had them play as a group of loyal NPCs they work with, and gave them the opportunity to break their characters out of prison, but they couldn't decide what to do. They just sat around in the castle in silence.

Two of the characters even were outside when the PCs got captured, and decided to run inside and surrender along with them .

Simple, start doing ERP campaigns. Add some cow-titted futa angels, and some pretty traps and people will line up out the door.

>but they couldn't decide what to do
You're the GM. You know what has a reasonable chance of success, right?

Do all the options have an entertaining chance of success?

It's up to the players to come to a decision, so basically just describe the environment as you know it to them. Leave them to discuss a decision. But keep them to some kind of time frame like "you've got ten minutes to plan it out".

I tried to lay out a few different courses of action for them, but they just kept saying they didn't know what to do. Maybe I handled it poorly, but I couldn't believe how slack-jawed they were at the whole situation.

>but they just kept saying they didn't know what to do
So. Are you sure that's what happened?
I mean, use your GM sense-motive, were they upset? bewildered?

'Party captured, you're now temporarily playing the rescue team' is pretty common.

"The heroes are counting on you, faithful allies."

You can have it so that if the allies fail, they die and/or party gets injured, but still escapes.

But other than that, all there's for you to do is probably answer environmental questions and let them get started on the rescue.

If they're scaredy-kitten players, you can always tell them "you characters will make it through this, but with how many scars is up to you" or similar.

Players are sometimes super lazy. My shadowrun group took 45 minutes to decide what to do to escape some firemen.
There were three firemen armed with axes and the garage door was open that all three of the players could just have run for and escaped.

>Players are sometimes super lazy. My shadowrun group took 45 minutes to decide what to do to escape some firemen.

It's a GMing skill to keep things rolling. You don't want to interrupt playful banter. But at the same time "you got ten minutes before the axes land" can be useful.

I was more familiar with the current age definition of sod as a noun rather than the etymology linking it back to sodomy. Good to learn something at least.

It's funny, because the expression "sod off" I believe has almost always meant the equivalent of "go fuck yourself", only with an ass component.

I like to slow-mo the game world for stuff like that. Such as 1 minute game time is 10 minutes real time, or whatever is appropriate for the setting and scene.
So then I can be like "the door know turns slowly" "it finally clicks into place" "the door is opening".

I also enjoy goading the players on while they're deciding. "What're ya gonna do . The garage is open. You gonna run? Turn tail? Ya gonna shoot em? I can smell the fear..."
Pretend you're a cackling chaos deity, it helps.

Good pasta

Dear GM, you forgot rule number 1.
Everyone sit and play for a reason: fun.

I thought they had overturned the fun rule.