Why are hobgoblins objectively better than goblins in every extent of the matter?

They are basically Goblins on National Socialism.

Because they are Lawful, and thus a far more serious threat than goblins will ever be. Take the ferocity of goblins and add cunning, determination and the ability to get their shit together. Oh, and they can emulate several tropes much better than most other evil races - it's one thing to face a horde of savages, and another thing to face a horde of nazi mongols or roman samurai.

In my setting, it is because the goblinoid race was cursed by the brother of the goblin god, so that all goblins would either be savages (Bugbears) or cowards (goblins). The only ones unaffected were those with the goblinoid god's divine blood, so only the tribe that his demigod child started up remained as hobgoblins. Goblins can be courageous and bugbears can be civilised, but it is like how Half-Orcs are portrayed in the PHB- a constant struggle. Those that succeed are given a lot of respect by other goblinoids.
For other settings, it seems so mostly that we can have goblins sorta be a problem at mid levels.

Only if the want to buy crack

Because they have their shit together

Why are Hobgoblins objectively awesome barbarians, wizards and monks in every edition of D&D?

Because your setting is shit and you haven't found a niche for goblins to fill that Hobgoblins don't do better. Outside of being stepping stones for the PCs from Level 1 to Level 2.

So? Still on topic given that the thread is discussing goblins. Nerd.

They're pretty shitty barbarians usually

...because if they weren't, they'd just be goblins.

well they are always MADE to be better, but probably lack the goblin ability to procreate in every nook and crevice in the world in large numbers quickly.

IE, making essentially a human copy from goblins makes them lose the one thing they are better than other species at

Magic Goblins are better than every other race in their respective game and there are no Hobgoblins so you are wrong

They're bigger, faster and stronger too, thry are the new goblinoid crew!
Huh!

D&D hobgoblins are totally shit though, losing everything that makes gobbos interesting. I have it that hobgoblins are domesticated goblins who must be rewarded with punishment lest they get complacent and revert to their goblin ways.

The military crap hobgoblin is now something unrelated to goblins.

Chaos Dwarfs keep em safe and fat, thats why.

What is it that's interesting about goblins in your opinion?

Because they are meant as higher CR encounters.

Duh.

WRONG

What exactly *is* a hobgoblin, in comparison to the modern, standard version of the "goblin".

No one knows.

Gobos are fun. My buddy got niknamed "Furt" afther one of those crazy bastards.
You remember that lad?

They're inherently mischevious, and some say they're born from the idle bad thoughts of fey lords. They're terrible things that are manifest bad ideas. They do things because it's not a good idea to do them. Raiding a big human city openly? Bad idea. Building a village on a cliff side over rocking waters? Bad idea. Filling a pig up with gas so it can fly? Bad idea. Strapping a pair of wings to yourself and using a catapult to fly? Also a bad idea.

Hobgoblin breeding has become lucrative, much like dog breeding, except for goblins. You can get goblins for all sorts of styles and purposes, for labour or luxury. They key to keeping the hobgoblins complacent is to trick them into thinking being obedient and behaving well is a bad idea, with scolding and even beatings. Never reward a hobgoblin with treats, goods, or gold. It will seed into their mind that they're doing good things, and that would be good, which would be bad, so they need to do bad. Improperly rewards hobgoblins is the leading cause of stray goblin infestations in cities, which tend to live in sewers, because that's also a bad idea.

In myth, hobgoblin is either a specific goblin named Hob or some kind of house spirit-- a goblin of the hob/hearth

In D&D they're fantasy Klingons

If a goblin is the equivalent of a green 8 years old kid, a hobgoblin is a green 16 years old kid, more or less.
Basically a thing that is more of a threat, that can still be killed in big numbers, and that you won't feel bad about killing.

Hobgoblins are teenagers? Oh god...

youtube.com/watch?v=tVKzigyz-bI&t=2m10s

2:10.

Valeria Golino. Muh dick.

>They key to keeping the hobgoblins complacent is to trick them into thinking being obedient and behaving well is a bad idea, with scolding and even beatings
You know mythologically hobgoblins were the pleasant goblins who loved to serve and make things for people, but became dangerously malevolent if they were mistreated

I like the inversion because I like my goblins like fucked up evil children.

They're better 'os. The inferior breed has long since been bred out of existence.

That's retarded, hoes are WAY more likely to be able to get you crack, the hobo will take your money and smoke all the crack. Do you even live in a city, bro?