The merchant lord asks your character to prove their worth

>the merchant lord asks your character to prove their worth

>the merchant lord hands over a sword

>"Sell me this sword."

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youtube.com/watch?v=OWFBqiUgspg
youtube.com/watch?v=ftFAbPnNYrg
youtu.be/FpL6Fwu0wkw?t=47s
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point sword toward throat of merchant
>give me your money or i ll slit your throat
he complies
leave the premesi and drop the sword

Challenge him to a duel

>Press the sword against his throat.
>"See? You could use a sword. Lucky for you, I have one to sell."
>Take few steps back with a smirk.

>walk out with sword
>enjoy free sword

>"well the book says it's 15gp. Do I have to make a persuasion roll or something?"

Try and tell me your players wouldn't say this.

I play a song.

I always was wondering - where is this image from?

Steve Lichman, a comic/webcomic

>This sword can make you fabulously wealthy.
>Torture him using the sword until he gives me a lot of money
>See?

I shouldn't have to tell you how to do your job.

Fucking lazy nobility, no work ethic. Peasants might smell bad, but at least they know the value of honest work. This knigger over here, Lord Moneybags, trying to get me to work his shop. Bitch, I'm level 3, I don't have to put up with this shit.

Good thing you have a sword cause that's a whole lotta edge.

>implying that s the not the first cheeky thing you thought of
>implying OP wasnt expecting those answer

The response would probably fail the test because sustaining a commodity-based business by threat of force is more trouble than it's worth.

It's an old joke, but it still checks out.
Well, I'm the DM, but there's one NPC who, based on his history, could probably give you a college-level course on the methods and materials for making swords.
So he would probably analyze the sword, explain its properties and current market value, and then draw from his equipment a much better sword of greater expense and offer to sell the noble THAT sword. Being LE, he would overcharge considerably as payment for the lesson, and as something for the noble to figure out on his own. Caveat emptor.
The character I played last (in a game that's probably dead) would try to dredge up whatever knowledge she could on metalworking (not very much).

Its not nearly the first thing I thought of, but then I actually like playing merchant characters and would have gone about it legitimately.

'Here's a sword for 1 silver'

> I will attack you mercilessly with whatever I hold in my hands within the next five minutes.
> Now, may I draw your attention the masterfully crafted, freshly sharpened sword I now weild.
> It can be your's for the low, low price of 30 gp

then how does the mafia, the trial, the whatever evil organisation in your setting is up and running since such a long time and still will be long after we are turned to dust.

By not being a commodity-based business.

OP prolly wanted answered like this otherwise he would have asked us to sell a horse.

Sell you a horse you say?
youtube.com/watch?v=OWFBqiUgspg

>implying being under the protection of triads isnt a commodity.

>"We're not a commodity, we're a service! As in, 'serve us'!"

I enchant the sword.
It will take a couple of weeks but it will be worth more now so he will hopefuly buy it.

I used-car-salesman the fuck out of him. It's not even that hard. If you know what you're doing and have a few tricks up your sleeve you can get a good deal on anything where price is negotiable at all.

"Take this. It's dangerous to go alone."

I'll just set the sword down behind me. "If you want it, it'll be 50 gold." Then I start punching him until he either gives me 50 gold or he blacks out, then I take 50 gold and leave the sword with a bill of sale clearly spelling out our return policy (2 weeks if defective, no returns otherwise).

My Lord, you see this sword? This is the legendary sword of "Richie McMoneybags, the greatest Merchant Lord in all the land."
The sword is of the finest craft, forged in the heart of a volcano by the strongest blacksmiths the land has to offer.

A mighty weapon with the dignity of a ruler crafted into every inch, a shimmering steel that reflects the nobility of it's wielder as it slices cleanly through enemy forces and stands as a standard for which all other swords are compared.

A true masterwork such as this would normally not have a price but my Lord, a man of such grace and splendor such as yourself is in need of a weapon of equal grace and splendor.
I would normally hand this to my lord for a mere pittance but I cannot willingly part with this sword without something of equal value for it would devalue both myself as a merchant, my lord as a valued customer and the sword itself if I were to sell it to you for anything less than it is actually worth.

So my lord, in return for access to your trade routes and a blossoming partnership, what say you?

youtube.com/watch?v=ftFAbPnNYrg

Turn 360 degrees and run out of the store.

>Look into his eyes
>Mind control
>"Buy this sword. It costs all your money."
>He buys the sword
>"Wait why the fuck am I even having to prove shit I have a roll-crit-or-you-fail-to-resist mind control"
>Fuck off from there

What Sword?

"Ooh, dm, I rolled a natural 20, that means he buys it from me for the times the price right?"

>Sheathe away the sword
>Offer him my services as a caravan guard in his next expedition.
It's like you guys don't even recognize a plot hook when it's served up to you.

>...Why? I'm just a soldier, hired to [insert quest here], i have no interest in this. Thanks for the sword though.

"No."

Thanks for the sword, dicknuts.

No disrespect, but I ain't the one with a honeyed tongue. That'd be [the face], talk to him

The only reason businessmen have power, though, is that they can buy people to force you if you don't comply with consumer capitalism.

It's not like it's a good system for the common man in and of itself, otherwise we wouldn't need laws to enforce it.

>an entire movie about the kind of person who should be studied to find out if there's a genetic marker for the profiteering mindset
If we found it we'd have a way to enact the first morally justified genocide in human history.

This sword is too strong for you, merchant lord.

You don’t know what you asked merchant lord, my strongest sword would kill a dragon, let alone a man. You need a seller that sells weaker swords, because my sword is too strong.

I can’t give you my strongest sword, because my strongest sword is only for the strongest being and you are of the weakest.

>All these people threatening a merchant lord's life or safety
>Implying a merchant -LORD- isn't wealthy enough for guards or magical protection
>Implying he'd arrange for a meeting with a group of armed mercenaries, let alone hand one a weapon, without guards present
>Implying he's not savvy and experienced enough to fight by himself; an ex-adventurer who used his connections and wealth to found his trading empire
Now that I think about it, this is a good litmus test before you wind up with some player stabbing an actual king.

never fails to put a smile on my face

I walk away with the sword until the merchant lord comes to me to buy it back.

>All these neets who have never been to a job interview
>missing the entire point of the question

I always try to pretend that shut ins don't exist, that it's just a meme, and then I see shit like this.

>implying the sort of freelance adventurers who can get into the sanctum of a merchant lord without already being his cronies aren't probably a cut above his current hires
>implying businessmen are human beings with functioning understandings of consequence
>implying a skilled fighter with anything resembling dignity would stoop so low as to be a merchant
Even if he is more powerful than us, killing him is nothing short of entirely justified. The power gap just means taking a more roundabout route.

I've watched the movie and get the idea. It's just a shit idea used by shit people I have no interest in working with or working for.

It's called socio-/psychopathy.

Enchant the sword before his very eyes and offer to sell it to him for a pittance.

We can't test for that accurately yet. That's why we need a specific genetic marker or series thereof to prove it without significant doubt.

The minute we can, you better believe it needs to happen.

What *is* the point of the question?
We are adventurers, trained in the arts of violence.
Why do you measure a mercenary's value by his mercantile skill?

Because they are not peddling goods, and if they do, it's usually addiction-related?
Main source of income for any criminal organisation is usually tax evasion anyway. Then there is extortion of all forms and types. Then there is prostitution, gamble and similar.

None of this is based on commodity.

Also, any criminal organisation that wants to remain afloat for a while needs a proper image and balancing between skimming people and providing for them. If you are too greedy or too brutal, you are going to get out of the business. Probably dead, probably disposed by more level-headed competition.
Just check how it worked for Russian mob in the 90s. The entire period could be pretty much described as gang war raging throughout the country, especially mid-90s. But all the wise guys quickly realised they can't just shoot everyone or entirely base their operation on being bunch of brutal thugs, because there is nothing guaranteeing their presence or not being targetted.
That's why the "organised crime" comes from - you need to safeguard your operation and since you can't use legal means to do so, you must be creative. Brutality solves nothing, unless you ALREADY secured a strong position over large region... but why then would you need to be brutal at this point, if there is nobody to brutalise left?

It's a movie reference. Specifically, the one in .

Funnily enough , which he quoted there, is doing what the guy in the film clip did. He's creating urgency and a demand for the product.

I've always wondered what the little faggot in the movie would do if the person he tried this with just pulled out a second pen to write his name down, but I can't stand to watch a movie about cancerous people long enough to see if it comes up.

>Why do you measure a mercenary's value by his mercantile skill?
Because it means you are dealing with someone reasonable and in the business long enough to realise how things are solved, rather than bunch of armed thugs.

Seriously, what kind of question is that?!

Call his wife and tell her the sword would look lovely as an ornament in her living room, as common weaponry is all the rage in noble circles since the 'commoner chic' trend really took over the decor circles.
And remember to compliment everything about her while sounding really really gay.

Naked force is the best way to solve a problem when presented by a limp-wristed cunt in a suit, though.

This is why you don't let your half-orc berserker handle the business negotiations.
If you survive and get out, hope you enjoy being chased by the law-enforcement brought about by the nobility he was aligned with, any black markets or gangs he worked with, any of his old allies who he kept in touch with and wasn't disenfranchised from, and possibly his personal revenge if resurrection is something that can be bought in the setting.
Because you just instigated mortal combat with a very successful and influential man, and just because you can beat any man in an army doesn't mean you have the right to try and beat the army.

>I've always wondered what the little faggot in the movie would do if the person he tried this with just pulled out a second pen to write his name down.
It's simple - they drop a client and go for another one. The entire point of this trick - and the film, really - is about bunch of guys abusing the fact some people are stupid enough to fall in. So it's less about "what now, sport", because they already know what now - drop you and find someone stupid enough to fall for false urgency.

It's like you don't know how telephone-based marketing works.

>Naked force is the best way to solve a problem when presented by a limp-wristed cunt in a suit in B-movies
Here, FTFY

>It's a movie reference.
That doesn't answer the question in-universe. Sure, it's a "fun" reference, but you are still asking a dumb question.
What is the point of the question?

>Because it means you are dealing with someone reasonable
>merchants
>reasonable

What tricks
How do I level barter

>If you survive and get out, hope you enjoy being chased by the law-enforcement brought about by the nobility he was aligned with, any black markets or gangs he worked with, any of his old allies who he kept in touch with and wasn't disenfranchised from, and possibly his personal revenge if resurrection is something that can be bought in the setting.
I'm a half-orc berserker, of course I enjoy that.

What little faggot doesn't?

>but when it does happen it'll be the sociopaths killing the regulars not the other way around

>What is the point of the question?
Businessmen can't think outside of a business mindset. It's what happens when mental disorders don't damage cognitive ability, it keeps the massive organic processor going while stripping out the part that makes it a man and not a machine made of fleshy bits.

Anyway, it's supposed to imply that the mercenary has good business sense. That means said merc isn't just a violent monster looking to point his sword at something, but a businessman who's business is pointing his sword at things.

It falls apart because as a mercenary leader you run the chance of being one who's just as stuck in the mud as any of your grunts on half your jobs and thus identify with human beings more than your employers.

Drow rogue suggests we could always just pretend he bested us, murder him in secret and pin it on a rival of his.

>Still missing the point
>After getting things explained
Just read

Good. I'm fine with running a game of high-profile outlaws on the lam, I just hope the rest of your team is.
We antihero campaign now.

>It's like you don't know how telephone-based marketing works.
I honestly don't, it doesn't seem like something anyone would fall for and I just ignore them by principle.

Sociopathy is more compatible with modern ideas of success. Sociopaths have already rigged the game in their favor, it's too late to divorce humanity from them now

>it's supposed to imply that the mercenary has good business sense.
Of all the hundreds of possibility of civilized activities that a mercenary might enjoy, you choose bartering as the only one that could be used to measure the merc's worth?
You're grasping for straws, trying to justify a retarded reference, like the dude that insists that Monty Python quotes are always good.

This sword has now been wielded by a mighty hero, his very essence is ingrained to. Not only that, but it was given to him directly by a renowned merchant lord. For some people who like memorabilia it might be worth hundreds of gold pieces, but I am not one for robbery so I will sell it to you for the low price of 75 gold pieces. And if such semantics are not to your liking, it still a very good sword.

>sell you this sword? Why would I do that? It is a terrible, rusty, old sword. It probably doesn't even cut well, and it is ugly

>THIS sword on the other hand...

>look at merchant's sword
>laugh
>hand it back
"This sword isn't worth shit and I pity any fool who would make the mistake of paying for it."

>(((Merchants)))
Not even once.

I read that as "How do I level banter".
I was about to reccommend a holiday in Australia, to live among the native shitposters.

It's about quantity, not quality.
The tele-marketing assumes from the very start efficiency of 0.5%.
You start with 200 numbers. Half of them won't even pick up. Of remaining 100, half will drop the call after hearing who you are. Of remaining 50 half will tell you they are not interested. Of remaining 25 half will tell it sounds interesting, but that's it. Of the remaining 12, half will consider your deal. Of the remaining 6, half will open the form. Of the remaining 3, only one will sign the deal and send it back.

It's all calculated in. Average phone-saller makes roughtly 300 calls a day. In case of stock market it's slightly easier, because you at least get clients, so once you get someone hooked, you can use them more than once. Average tele-marketing centre uses single client once.

And believe me, even with efficiency of 0.5%, it's still profitable enough to do it.

Lets see, this is a several stage task:
1. Can i identify the sword pattern/type?

2. Can i identify the metal, or metal pattern?

3. Can I identify the forging pattern?

4. Can I identify the craftsman?

5. Can I identify common mistakes on this type of item, and if any quality is usual?

6. Is the item enchanted or blessed? If so: How and when?

7. Assuming I have identified some of the features: Are this item common in this region, or is it exotic import? And if yes: Would it still be a exotic import for the Merchant?

The goal isn't to sell the item to the Merchant, the goal is to prove that you have enough trade knowledge, that you could sell a item to a customer that wants the item.

"If you buy this sword, then I won't go around telling every 2 copper piece adventurer that you're handing out free weaponry."

Anyone can poke a guy with the pointy end of a sword.

A professional knows how to get someone to pay them to poke a guy with the pointy end of a sword.

Everyone has the right to try.

"Well, for one, this sword is clearly from the future, having been made via construction methods I couldn't guess at and possessing durability matched by few weapons today. It's also good for slashing people, stabbing people, and, if you're a dab hand and wearing some protective gloves, that crossguard can really mess up a man's skull."

>Explain!
>*explains*
>But it's stupid!
Accept it, some things *are* stupid

“In a room sit three great men, a king, a priest, and a rich man with his gold. Between them stands a sellsword, a little man of common birth and no great mind. Each of the great ones bids him slay the other two. ‘Do it,’ says the king, ‘for I am your lawful ruler.’ ‘Do it,’ says the priest, ‘for I command you in the names of the gods.’ ‘Do it,’ says the rich man, ‘and all this gold shall be yours.’ So tell me – who lives and who dies?”

That riddle pretends that looting doesn't exist, I see.

youtu.be/FpL6Fwu0wkw?t=47s

>insert "you're screwed no matter who you choose" gotcha response here.

But, Tyrion is right in that situation. It does depend on the swordsman.

If the swordsman is loyal to king and country, then he's biased toward sparing the king.
If the swordsman is loyal to the gods, then he's biased toward sparing the priest.
If the swordsman is loyal to the highest bidder, then he's biased toward sparing the rich man.

Riddles like that pretend to be smart and tell of human nature but ignore it entirely.

>So tell me – who lives and who dies?
None. Neither sycopanthy nor fear of death nor avarice will prevent me from doing what's right. Instead I propose that I will strike down the first of the three who moves to harm any of the other two.

>"So what if I kill them all?"

The riddle also ignores that for a long time in history, kings were considered on the same level as priests (as far as proximity to God was concerned). In fact, kings could install and fire bishops.
The priest's got nothing on the king.

>Sell me this pen
>Thanks, man. If you'd like to continue your seminar I'll sell you the pen back for whatever you've got in your wallet.
Was this not the obvious answer?

>plot twist
>everyone has character levels in their relevant field
>and the king is an ex-barbarian
Who dies?

True that. Power lies in the hand of the sellsword. And between the king, priest and rich man, the king is (assuming any other scenario than the one presented to us) the most powerful simply because he has the most swords and the most (loyal) men wielding swords.

Though the thing about power is that it's very hard to define, and often power and the illussion of power are the same thing. You're only as powerful as others believe you are.

>Free investiture
Absolutely disgusting.

Not the CoDzilla.

First I'd appraise the sword. If it's not masterwork, I'd use a spell to make it masterwork. Then I'd enchant the sword and return to the merchant with a gift of wine. We'd have a nice chat, then I would present the newly improved sword and demonstrate it's magical powers. I'd explain how it was made, then start with a price about 90% of market value, leaving room for the merchant lord to make money off of the purchase. The price could then be negotiated until an agreement is made.

The deal fails? Well I'll just sell the sword myself at 100% market value

Remember its a quote in a fantasy world religion is different there even if its similar.
Pretty much but that scene is more of him making a living of selling his success of scamming the actual guy is in that scene too that welcomes leonardo playing him
Tbqh Vary's should have just said Power is where the sellsword believes it which would prove tyrion right but hes trying to show off be an elitist and wise in this scene.

Now this is the right level of cheeky little shit.

"This sword will double your sex life."

"Sell you this sword? What is this going for, 10 gold? That's a waste of time for you and for me. Frankly, you don't look like someone who uses a sword a lot and I'm not someone who desperately needs 10 gold.
A 10-gold sword isn't worth much. You can issue one to one of your 2-gold-a-day guards outside; he'll get drunk tomorrow, get shanked by some cutthroat in an alley for his new sword and you're down 12 gold once you find him.
What you want to buy isn't a 10-gold sword, what you want to buy is a hand that can take this 10 gold sword and give you back 40, 50 gold worth of service and not get shanked in some alley. So how about this? I'll sell you 4 good hands for 160 gold, and I'll throw in the sword for free."

>Take the sword
>Slightly slice my palm with it
"See my lord, this sword was bathed into the blood of the greatest hero of this land".

>"This sword? Why would you want a sword? Oh, well, that's pretty easy. Man of your stature, self defence, right? I mean, you have guards, but they're outside, and the only other person in this room has a sword. You don't know what they'll do. They have a sword. You don't. But you could. You could be the man with the sword. You'd be in control, with this sword. The other guy wouldn't dare try anything. Because you'd have the sword. The man with the sword."

>Try a bit harder than that.

>"I don't have to. I have the sword."