Suppose you are a (alien) general and you have to defeat the USA. What would you have to do?

1. Hit key infrastructure points and oil refineries and suppplies with orbital bombardment. Prevent repair or the setup of new facilities.
2. Use my superor mobility and option t retreat into space to keep the US forces at peak readyness and constantly moving against me across the US, without actually engaging. this prevents them from using their manpower and materiel for civic duties.
3. once the country i a mess, the military is running ragged, and there is little to no fuel left for the military's equipment, then i open up with a full scale orbital bombardment and invade.

Vaporize Washington D.C., which will cause the rest of the country to swear loyalty to me out of gratitude.

>retreat into space
Why aren't you staying in space?
This seems like a step that only makes sense if you enjoy the action, because it doesn't really accomplish much else.

Glass the planet.

I forgot something.

Avoid unnecessary civilian casualties.

1. Demonstrate your superior firepower by nuking something with a minimum of population.
2. Demand that the Americans surrender.
3. If they refuse, bombard something slightly more inhabited.

Glass only the USA.

>Luckily enough, real USA avoided this terrible fate

Sure...

>Luckily enough, real USA avoided this terrible fate

Yep

...

Sit on the moon, building bases, mining, creating drones and infraestructure. Have ships ready to destroy anything that tries to leave Earth's orbit.
After I'm ready, destroy all communication satellites and make cirurgical strikes with mass destruction weapons (or just dropping big rocks) on the biggest military bases, biggest cities and imilar targets. Open communications and wait for surrendering.

>Open communications
>after you've destroyed their communication systems
You're not very clever, are you?

Why are you destroying their communication systems anyway? It's not like America poses any threat to you, and you gain nothing from the resulting chaos.

Turn off electricity
Wait for a week
Send up mopping crews to curb remaining resistance

Alternatively
Send spores to upper atmosphere
Kill all native life within a month
Take over without firing a shot

That didn't work the last time

EMP the shit out of them.
Destroy satellite system right before doing so.

From now on, all communication is on short-wave radios and without ability to see from the orbit the fuck is going on, not to mention most of the electronics are fried.

You just denied your enemy 2/3 of possible military power, while gaining complete orbital and easy aerial control (no radars, most of planes out of commission). At this point you are facing late 19th century army.

If time is a nonissue, we breed them to extinction over the course of several centuries. Humans are suckers for that sort of thing.

There're communications that don't rely on satellites

Right. But that only makes it more questionable why you are destroying the satellites.
What are you trying to achieve?

Same for others. There seems to be an unusual lust for disruption of military potential by means that are clearly part of a much more powerful race.
It's like when you have the world champion team of a sport face off against a bunch of 8 year olds that barely know the rules of the sport, and the coach of the champions advises the adult men to foul extensively whenever the referee isn't looking to cripple the kids' offensive potential.
Why?
Cutting electricity, destroying telecommunications, disrupting the chain of command are pointless when their military is Earth-bound.
At worst these actions might bite you in the ass later. OP asked for minimum casualties. He probably intends to have a conquest. Chaos is not easy to govern, as the middle East should show you.

>Arrive in orbit
>Make first contact
>Spend a few weeks/months liaising peacefully with the humans, training some interpreters to speak their language
>Announce out of the blue that Earth is now a vassal of your great and glorious empire
>As a vassal, Earth is required to pay an annual tithe of slaves
>The first tithe of 500 slaves is expected in 3 months
>World governments are expected to decide among themselves who to hand over
>Failure to comply will result in indiscriminate orbital bombardment, followed by direct annexation
>Return in 3 months time with some transports
>Pick up the slaves, and if you actually want them, ship them off to your empire's markets
>If you don't want them, just dump them on the moon, or on Venus, or into the Sun, who cares
>Increase the next expected tithe to 1000 slaves
>Repeat this process over the next few years, increasing the size of the tithe every time
>Laugh as the humans first sell out their criminals, then their minorities, then their undesirables, before finally turning on each other
>Once the dust has settled, descend from orbit and begin colonising the newly-emptied planet
>By this point, any human resistance will be too small and too weak to possibly threaten you
>While any humans still loyal to you will see becoming a slave under your regime as preferable to scraping a living as a marginalised native

Congratulations! Earth is yours!

China and India both have a billion people they don't need.

And humans breed rather rapidly.

So I can see this ending poorly...

Sounds inefficient compared to just cobalt bombing the planet into a new ice-age, then coming back in two thousand years time.

He was dumb but he had a political background, didn't elect a cabinet full of supervillains and didn't outright abandon his post.

Glass it.

>Avoid unnecessary civilian casualties.
Okay, glass military bases, nuclear silos and a few minor cities to prove a point.

What a needlessly complex plan. You sound like some Saturday morning cartoon villain. Hope your ready to be foiled by some plucky kids, their annoying animal sidekick, and traitor or two from within your own ranks.

a retard with 156 IQ

>taking IQ as a real thing

you realize IQ is just "how much did you learn by age X compared to others", right?

Openly invade it. Watch as women betray their species and weak men keep making excuses for us.

Blow up Yellowstone.

If Clinton had proposed that, she would probably have won the election.

Wouldn't that kill like... under 10% pop because everybody lives at the coastlines?

Fucking /pol/ should go /out/ and stay /out/.

Invade from Cuba. The island is an excellent invading site. From there, you can oversee the entire Gulf of Mexico. Take Yucatan and Florida, and you will effectively control it.

The Gulf of Mexico also has the mouth of the Mississippi river. From there, you can use the navigable river and canals to strike deep into the US.

That's where all your food is grown, you city-fuckers.

Quick sidenote OP, do not make a thread involving the USA unless you fully understand that there will be an influx of salty Europeans shitposting.

Oh, believe me, I'm looking forward to it.

Obviously, the target is to kill you by starvation.

The enormous cloud of ash will kill an enourmous amount of plants and livestock, the economy crashing in a way previously seen only in an economist's worst nightmares. Chaos, poverty, and destruction will leave America ripe for your eebil alium forces.

1) 2) You've hit Boise, Twin Cities, Denver, Salt Lake, and other large cities of significance, I'd guess more than 10%, but I don't wanna do the math.
3) Even if it was 10%, you've quite literally decimated the population of the U.S. Morale will pretty much be destroyed instantly.

Let's be honest here, for a large part of the population, eating less would actually do them good.

They could just send african babies.
Your plan would never work.

First off, we don't eat THAT much.
Second off *eating less sugar. Ftfy.

The real question is who get cannibalized first: lardcard riding fatsos or muh fruits only diet veganist hipsters.

>Morale will pretty much be destroyed instantly.
Or it would jump into nationalist overdrive.

...

I get my food locally so I don't have to support the subhumans of the breadbasket.

Vegan city-fucks will all die out on their own, considering all their food production just got glassed.
The lardcarts will just get slimmer and/or killed since we'd have to start rationing food.

You must live suburban, then, I can't really see farm operations going down in a city.

If you had the technology to travel faster than light, you probably wouldn't need biotics for any reason since you are already a post singularity society. But I'll bite:

>warp to planet
>spend a few milliseconds learning past, present and future of the planet
>then lock on to all the humans you wish to kill, in this case USA for some reason
>your 20 exaflop computer uses .01% CPU for this
>shoot lasers that bend to the targets since you've mastered light
>gg no re

What are the three intense spots in 2000 warhead scenario?

It's all in-state.
Don't have to support the wastes of life that make most of the nation's food as a result.

Possible, although from what I know about IR it'd be unconditional surrender.

Georgia, North Carolina, Virginia, California.

Not use an operating system that people from the 90's can hack.

That's where America keeps all of its nuclear stockpiles.

>didn't elect a cabinet full of supervillains
Cheney counts for a full cabinet of them by himself.

500 is for population centres and areas of industry. 2000 approach is all about eliminating the USA’s nuclear capability.

Why are you salty?
Why don't you like them?

Say whatever you say about him but at least he isn't Berlusconi.

I see, I see. Is this because the enemy would know the general area but not the exact location of the storage so they blast the whole region? Or because USA has THAT many nukes?

500 is for retaliatory strike, after a US first strike and most of the nukes have been launched and silors are empty. 2000 is for an enemy doing a first strike attempting to destroy US's nuclear forces.

They are a consistant drain on national resources, are consistantly in the red financially, are all welfare babies taking gubmint corn handouts, and drive down the level of political discourse.
They should be fired from america, along with most of the bible belt and some of the coast.

Arrive in peace. Give them automation technology for manufacturing, clean and efficient energy production, nanobot personal medical maintenance systems, automated farming systems that are insanely water efficient, vat grown meat, solve all their mathematical problems.

Tell them there's nothing they can give us in return.

Inform them that there is no such thing as hyperspace travel and continue on our way in our massive generational slow ship that is 100% self contained and efficient and non-detectable, and would require enough resources to beggar their world if they built one.

Inform them none of them are allowed to continue on our journey through the stars.

Get out of detection range.

Engage hyperspace we lied about and laugh about the planet of people with no needs or goals except to destroy their planet to be able to search for meaning in the stars, either reducing or leaving to die a majority of their population.

Laugh 200 years later when the immortal nanobot people we left behind succumb to ennui and tear their species and planet apart to build the Generational ship. Know they tried it because the explosion is detectable through hyperspace.

When we left plans for the starship systems, we made them wrong on purpose as a joke. Because we solved all their maths for them, they never learned how the higher levels worked to be able to figure out the engine would explode.

Alternatively they somehow figure it out and we detect it through hyperspace. Jump in and blow up their sun erasing the last remains of their birth world. Congratulate them on winning and then commit species level suicide as did the species before us. Never explain what or how they won.

I'd agree with you if you said 99% of the coast.

I think there's or was like one Gigaton of nuclear weapons pointed at Norad at any time. Probably enough to vaporize the mountain and everyone inside.

Leave them alone in a universe where we only ever let one species develop at a time, with some seed planets for them to maybe find as they wander through the universe bereft of purpose or a planet that they are adapted to, letting them have purpose in the search for a while before realizing they will never find meaning in existence and they go around dicking with farmed races for amusement and the final gamble.

Most of the cost can actually make more money than they spend, unlike the breadbasket and bible belt, the two biggest drains on national resources.

It is fucking sad the hippie democrats are infinitely better at managing money than the conservatives, but that is where we are.

Are you retarded? I honestly want to know because you sound like a complete sperg

Er, coast.

Get in fast
Once the new presidents plans to arm troops on base comes in its all oger for my invasion plans.
Also if possible come up from the ground to get around all that air superority.

I was thinking about something like this for a Young Adult Novel creation thread, tell me what you think:

If some super advanced race popped up in the sky, announced that our planet was being added as a 'vassal' to their Empire/Federation/Group, wouldn't they kind of just win by default? In this thread and others, I keep being told that if you have orbital control, you win, full stop, so would most governments be willing to listen to the new top dog/bird/rhino/plant in charge?

One other thing, what if they did a whole world wide announcement instead of some secret stuff with the governments?

>Bush
>didn't elect a cabinet full of super villains
user, I...

More "you gotta land the nuke on top of the silo to kill"

You're stupid. If you gave us infinite manufacturing we'd go and turn Mars into a spaceship, not Earth. Or maybe the asteroid belt.

The ideal would be to have 3 nukes per target. Missiles could land as many as twenty miles off-target, or bombers might miss because of navigation errors, or being chased by enemy anti-air, or malfunctions etc.

And just like, the biggest fucking hands you guys.

you'll have also sent the entire world into a powervacume economic nightmare.

That's fucking retarded and you should feel bad for taking the time to write it.

The entire world is going to be ass fucked from the god damn nuclear winter that is going to result.

Destroy large amounts of agriculture in places like California and the great plains (set fire to them, plant aids, toxic pesticides) ,Block off pacific and Atlantic trade routes, seed infiltrators and monster units on the north and south borders and wait.

The problem is that when everyone else is competing for those same resources once the corn belt can no longer keep them in snack cakes and tendies, you aren't going to be able to afford eating 1200 calories of local produce.

It sounds like a perfect plan for the aliens unless they are in a hurry. Once humanity is on its knees, you invade and fix the thing with a typical terraformation procedure.

Not even close. At least the mountain vaporization shit.

That takes a lot of fucking effort.

I'm not from the USA but I know you produce too much porn and have extremely sexual culture of "hook-up". I'd deploy alien prostitutes and sorority infiltrators with space aids.

Nah, my state actually producesmore than it uses. Unlike the welfare queen corn belt.
Fuckers have been leaching off us for decades.

Pump some competitor full of superior tech, use American reverse engineering attempts to mask the origin of a replicator plague weapon release, let the replicator plague destroy the technological infrastructure of the earth, "rescue" the US from this "industrial accident", replace all technological infrastructure with equipment you provide that is loaded with back doors, so you know everything, introduce BLS, control food production, industrial production, power generation, and transportation.

There still won't be enough for all the survivors. Also you'll probably be short on water and you'll miss 3 growing seasons due to volcanic winter.

There's a six in it but it ain't 156

Nah, we got so much water everyone is begging us for it.
As long as we are militant against the subhuman corngrowers and water raiders, we'll be fine.

Have various countries call in their debts.

Alternatively, if you want to DESTROY them and see them suffer the whole way down, put a bunch of people whose only interests are deregulation and removing taxes on big business in the name of "smaller government" (except for the parts that look at what you may masturbate to, those will need massive new data centers to sift through everything and find that in the name of god, ye guilty), and, well, sit back and give it the two decades your ships will need to make it from andromeda to this galaxy.

More to the point, WHY would I want to take Earth?

It's the only inhabited planet in a system of at least eight, they haven't even gotten a manned team past their own moon, and don't look like they'll be going to for at least a few decades.

At this point, why would I want to conquer them when I could just exploit the resources of their system without worry of them trying to take a stab at us?

It would probably cut back on food exports if anything.