A dwarf has taken residence in your basement, and will delve too greedily and too deep if left unchecked

A dwarf has taken residence in your basement, and will delve too greedily and too deep if left unchecked.

What do you do?

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live and let live man

dig deep dwarfer

Prepare for migrants.

Remind him to check himself before he wrecks himself.

Ancient proverb of the dwarves.

I build myself a little hovel with a desk, a chair and a bed and manage the accounts as more migrants arrive and his six assistants begin whisky and food production in the new sub-sixth floor that was dug twenty minutes ago

In a month, you manage to create a small, but successful dwarven colony with about 20 migrants overall happily living in their underground hovels. You oversee the creation of a plantation of plump hemets, and establish the production of plump helmet bread and plump helmet wine.

The elven caravan arrives, offering trade.

What do you do?

>elven caravan
>not the tax collector
Face it, you're all in deep shit.

Shush, user, tax collector no longer exists in the game.

Be confused as I live on the top floor and don't have a basement

I build a wall over the basement door and let him do his thing until he probably suffocates, depending on how he got in there in the first place.

Hookay. First, they're Little People now, shitlord. Second, I'll sigh and tell him it's okay to come back home when you got no where to go. But it's not ok to laze around. Farmer Todd needs some help with the goats and the garage needs a new wall. I'll say a mother's love is boundless but her patience is in limited supply. Help out and he'll get food on the table.

I pick up a shovel and strick the earth.
>maybe buy a cat too

I grab a pickaxe and join him.

Yes, this endeavour will end in disaster, but it'll be fun while it lasts.

Flood the basement with lava of course

RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF FOOD PRICES.

Drink all the wine and prepare for the best.

Get 2 cats

>lmao

>some random fucker I don't know
>in MY unnaground tunnels

We gon' have problems.

Okay, thats pretty tough. If tell him straight, he will hold a grudge on me and all my family, because dwarves are petty fuckers. If i let him do his shit, orcs and goblins will come and wreck his and mine shit.

Best bet its anonymous tip off him about an elf on my backyard tree. That bastard owes me a three months rent anyway. Hopefully, it will distract a little dwarf.

Call the building administrator to do his fucking job, the basement isn't for habitation apart the parking level.

Congratulation. Now you have an angry dwarf, who still hold a grudge on you (because you hiding an elf on your backyard), angry elf (because you snitched him) both of them a pissed, fighting with you and each others.
Now what?

Have a threesome with the elf nad the dwarf, naturally. Wild sex solves all problems.

>>/qst/

You made a wooden trade depot, right?

I can't upload sweating.gif, so have the next best thing.

I can imagine a dwarf going into an apartment place setting some tnt at the base or going at it with a pick axe awakening everyone in the apartments but everyones too scared to deal with him.

This clearly calls for themed music: youtube.com/watch?v=ytWz0qVvBZ0&t=4s

This is America. Shoot it.

>Using music from minecraft
>Diggawhatyoudoing.-Limestone engraving-

If you are going to dig too deep, only accept the original

youtube.com/watch?v=mXbTXfoloNc

do the elves like us?

I think most of you would be safe being that you yourself are the resident goblin basement dweller.

Hire a pack of rats to get rid of him.

>He's a dwarf.
>Dwarves are all Scouttish.
>Scots wear tartan.
>Tartan is a pattern of horizontal and vertical stripes forming squares.
>A pattern of horizontal and vertical stripes forming squares is checkered.
>The dwarf is wearing checkered fabric.
>The dwarf is checked.

I don't see the problem.

I tell him that the local council hasn't granted permission for any alterations to the property, including any extension to the basement. By the time the little fucker's worked through the council's multiple layers of confusing and needless bureaucracy, I'll probably have moved elsewhere.

but if Dwarves are Czech, how can they be Scots?

Bloody Vogons

No no, they're not Czech, they were Czechs.

Er, wear.

I let him stay there and climb up may favourite tree.

>and will delve too greedily and too deep if left unchecked.

Check up on him to make sure he isn't doing that. I don't mind the free expansion to my basement.

So Dwarves wear their young?!

You don't?

>I didn't used to have a basement
Free expansion or not, I'm charging that freeloader rent.

...

>in MY unnaground tunnels
moleman is that you?

I ask him, "How the hell did you install a basement in sandy soil?"

Concrete is made of sand.

No, only Belgians.

Install a retractable bridge in the entrance of my basement and a trade depot near the mailboxes in the hall.

Wait until he awakens ancient eldritch horror. And then try to play off said awakening as a "planned move" to the eldritch horror. Maybe he'll just take the dwarf. And I get a bitchin basement tunnel system out of it.

1- is the dwarf paying rent ?
2- is he balrog gonna pay rent ?

would do the same, to be honest

You do now.

Offer him some rum and coke and hope he does well, and ask him to bring me back a cut of the gold.

>elf on my backyard tree
Does anyone have the relevant image?

Git outta mah "wine"cellar ya stunted little git!